Yearly Archives: 2010

Dirty Undies

How does Noah do it? Or better yet, when does he do it? I find his dirty little pairs of underpants everywhere.Noah just likes a nice clean pair at all times, I guess. It's not like he has accidents and needs to destroy the evidence. None of the pairs I find stashed are wet or dirty (besides the occasional skid mark which is to be expected). None of it has even been worn very long. Maybe he just likes to switch up his cartoon characters. Who knows.And the places I find them... now, close your eyes, and pick a random corner. Do you have it in your mind? Well, did you picture a pair of Superman undies in that corner? Then you obviously weren't thinking of a corner at my house. I have found his skivvies in the pantry, in the bathtub, in the bathroom sink, under his bed, under his pillow, on his stuffed animals, and stuffed under...

Noah’s traumatization

A few days ago, Noah was in watching a movie while I was in playing on my blog was in the other room doing something SUPER productive. Suddenly a piercing screech had me leaping from my seat to go see what was wrong. It wasn't a simple holler or cry, it was a "daddy come save me before I die" kind of screech. Any parent knows the sound of which I speak because when it happens your heart stops cold in its tracks and every muscle in your body contracts, preparing for the worst.I raced into the family room where Noah had a look of sheer terror on his usually chipper little face. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Daddy, get it out, get it out!" he cried as he held his face. "Get what out?!" My panic was growing. "Daddy, get it out! GET IT OUT!" Tears were streaming down his face.I held his face and asked him to point...

The real definition of maybe

Have you ever stopped and thought about the word "maybe"? If you have, it will be no secret to you that it's one of the most misused words in the English language. Let's take a peek at the official definition: Webster's definitions of maybe (adv) may·be perhaps: expresses uncertainty neither yes nor no: used to give a response that is neither yes nor no introduces suggestions: used to introduce advice or suggestions Synonyms: perhaps, possibly, it could be, perchance, mayhap Now, let's be honest about what the word "maybe" really means. Here is Danoah's official definition: Single Dad Laughing's definitions of maybe (adv) may·be    to a Facebook event invitation: definite no, but I don't want to be responsible for you realizing that nobody cares about your stupid event. to hanging out this weekend: guaranteed no, but I'll string you along just in case I need you as my backup to my backup to my backup plan. a wife to her husband when he...

My pain can beat up your pain

I have a very serious question to pose... at what point can people just agree that one person's pain is just as bad as somebody else's? Why is it always a competition? Take this for example: That was my kidney stone #6 (yeah, I photographed it, so what. I also named it Kirby). Last week I was blessed enough to pass kidney stone #8 and #9 (Little Jimmy and Big Sue). Have you ever had a kidney stone? One in twenty men will get at least one. One in thirty women. If you haven't had one, let me tell you just how painful they are. Imagine, if you will, feeling like your back and side are  being repeatedly chopped cut massacred ripped open with an axe... for a couple hours! The pain is so severe and so sudden, that you will be walking around feeling fine one moment, and the next you'll be on your knees in the parking lot of...

Fatten up for the family photograph

There is something I believe, of which I am quite certain I am the sole person to actually believe it. And that is, you should always fatten up as much as possible for family photographs. For years I've asked friends and family members why the most recent family photos hanging on their walls are several years old at best. And for years I've heard excuses from every one of those people as to why they haven't gotten around to it. There is no doubt that almost every one of them has the exact same reasoning holding them back as they publicly declare, "I want to do it. I'm definitely going to do it. Just as soon as I lose these ten extra pounds". Of course, the number of pounds each person wants to lose varies. Some want to lose a handful, some want to lose a quick hundred before stepping in front of the clicker. Me... I want to gain twenty...

This is beautiful you

Finally, my favorite post of the week! Every Sunday I take some of the photos that you have uploaded to the Facebook wall, and I post them here. I love This is Beautiful You because it gives me (and everybody else) an incredible glimpse of who we all are. It puts a face on the awesome people coming here. It gives us a beautiful idea of the uniqueness and diversity of the followers here at SDL. More than anything, it shows all of us just how beautiful we each can be. Also, in case you missed yesterday' post, just a heads up that starting tomorrow I'll be on vacation until after New Years. I'll still be posting some of my more popular posts from the early days of SDL when 99.9% of you hadn't found us yet. Anyway, thank you for sharing a small part of yourselves. It's my honor to put the spotlight on you today. This is beautiful you. Noah...

And… DONE. Merry Christmas.

And.... DONE. It's only 2:30 am and I officially have all of the presents wrapped and placed. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care. And, this dad may or may not have eaten all of the cookies that Noah and I baked for Santa. I'd like to thank the mistletoe. For nothing. We spent most of the night at my parents house. The kids performed the nativity (photos of Noah below), and we all opened our Christmas jammies. There was some nice Mistletoe hanging in their foyer. I stood beneath it for quite some time, but nobody showed. I finally gave up and figured I'd come wish you all a Merry Christmas and tell you how thankful I am for you. It's been a crazy awesome year here at Single Dad Laughing. I've written all about it in the first SDL Newsletter that will be going out in the next few days. There will also be a couple bonus posts included,...

Old people say the wisest things

A few weeks ago, I put together a post from your Facebook comments called, Grandmas say the darndest things. It was a lot of fun, and I'll definitely be putting together more of them in the future. On Monday I asked a different question. "What's the wisest piece of advice you've ever gotten from an old person?" More than 600 of you replied with something awesome. Unfortunately, I can only use so many of them today. But, just like the other post, if you like this one I have plenty of content for future editions as well. With that, enjoy the first edition of Grandparents say the wisest things, at least 3,000 years in the making. "Sometimes you have to whisper in order to be heard." "Bring children up the way they are bent." About worrying: "Don't cry over tears that haven't even started to form." "Don't wait until you are 50 to wear red with purple." "Never ask a question you're not ready to hear the...

Noah gets a new dog!

We've tried rescuing two dogs from the Humane Society, and neither one of them worked out. The first, which looked like a cross between a pig and a hyena, loved biting kids. After he tackled my nephew and attempted to take a chunk out of his back, we decided to take him back. Too bad, because we liked him a lot. The second dog (a black lab named Lucky) had a long rap sheet of bad behavior and abuse when we chose him. He seemed like a fixable dog, so we took a chance on him. Long story short, he has a new owner now. After two failed rescue attempts, I gave up on dogs. At least for the time being. But two things changed my mind. First, I realized how lonely being single can be, and when Noah's not here it's awfully quiet and lifeless around here. Second, Noah has been asking me almost every day when we'll be getting a...

Single Dad Laughing and “Perfection”

So, you want the truth about Single Dad Laughing? Here it is. I have no clue what I'm doing in the blogging world. Every day I sit down at my computer. Every day I think to myself, what do I have to say? Every day I start writing. And every day I post something. That's it. That's all I've done since the beginning. And... today, I broke down. I lost it. Why? Because in the process of doing what I do every day, I've been sucked into the disease called "Perfection" again, but this time it's via Single Dad Laughing. Do you remember this line from the Perfection piece? "Perfection" is a man who everybody heralds as perfect, and inside he is screaming to be seen as the faulty human being that he always has been. Because to no longer be 'the perfect one', that would be freeing." Damn it. I am not a perfect dad. I am not a perfect man. I certainly wasn't a perfect husband. And...

Getting Christmas back

You may remember from this post that I have been suffering from a case of the "single during the holidays for the first time in a decade" blues. It hit me hard, and it hit me suddenly. In fact, I didn't realize how depressed I was until I was half-way done writing that post. Proof that I have to special order my hats. Believe it or not, it originally was meant to be a humor post. My biggest mistake was writing it right before I left on a date with a really beautiful girl. I finished it minutes before she arrived at my home, and I was so down that I sat like a blank-faced turd for the entire first-half of the evening. I'm actually surprised she stuck around. Thank goodness she did because the last half of the date was at least a little better than a kick in the face. Anyway, I've been fighting to get the Christmas spirit back...

Real Dads Don’t Leave

Single Dad Ranting post today. Sometimes I get so tired of these dads who claim to be "real dads" who leave their kids. And I'm not just talking about the ones who are physically gone...

This is beautiful you.

Finally, my favorite post of the week! Every Sunday I take some of the photos that you have uploaded to the Facebook wall, and I post them here. I love This is Beautiful You because it gives me (and everybody else) an incredible glimpse of who we all are. It puts a face on what we're doing here. It gives us a beautiful idea of the uniqueness and diversity of the followers here at SDL. More than anything, it shows all of us just how beautiful we each can be. Thank you for sharing a small part of yourselves. It's my honor to put the spotlight on you today. This is beautiful you. Which photos made you the happiest today? If you'd like to send in photos to be considered for Sunday's "This is beautiful you" and other future blog posts, please post them on the Facebook wall (we need lots more!). Emailed photos will not be considered. Only upload photos that...

Pictures to Sort

Okay, I confess, I ran across a folder on my computer called "Pictures to Sort" and got sucked in. There were thousands of them, most of which I've never done anything with. Long story short, I didn't get a post written for today, so instead I'll share a few of those photos. Enjoy a day of complete randomness and total cheesiness! Click any photo to see it bigger. One of my biggest pet peeves... no pictures while eating. It's never flattering! Noah and me camping. It's definitely the rough life. Sleeping in a heated trailer with a television and a microwave. Daddy giving Noah his first haircut. Errr... his first haircut from Daddy. He was a little concerned to say the least. Apparently I'll do anything for a good shot. Here's me sitting on twenty thousand tons of bird crap. I have no recollection of the events in question. If there was a GQ for kids... There's this guy named John Wayne who's a bit of...

Challenge: The first word that pops into your head

Today, I have a challenge for you. It's simple, and I bet it'll be a lot of fun for everybody involved. Don't ask me to explain. There is no explanation. Fill in the blanks of these five different questions with the first word that pops into your head for each. 1. I am really _______________. 2. I think children are _______________. 3. I wish I were a better _______________. 4. I am the best _______________. 5. My biggest fear is _______________. Copy and paste the questions with your answers into the comments below. It'll be fun to get a peek of who we all are at this particular moment. Feel free to do it anonymously if you like. And then, make sure you have a rockin' weekend! It's been an unpredicted tense couple of posts here at Single Dad Laughing. Let's lighten things up for the next few days because Monday I'm sharing a heavy one called "Real Dads don't leave". I hope you'll join me for it. I think...

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