Why is it that people are often scared of salesmen (let’s be honest, nobody is scared of a saleswoman, though in my experience they should be very scared). Having done extensive research and training (and selling) in my past on this subject, I can tell you very easily what the answer to this question is. People are scared of salesmen because they don’t want to be manipulated, lied to, or committed into doing something they don’t really want to do.

The funny thing is, people don’t realize that kids just as sophisticated and talented in their sales techniques as the best of the best in the sales world. They are masters of the preemptive close. They have charm at the perfect moments. They brush aside your refusals and keep asking for the sale until you relent. Kids are kind of scary, and Noah is no exception.

“Daddy, can I have some peanut butter M&Ms?” No. “”Daddy, can I have some peanut butter M&Ms?” No. “Why, Daddy?” Because we already had enough snacks today. “Daddy, you don’t want me to have peanut butter M&Ms?” No, not right now. “Okay… Daddy… I sure love peanut butter M&Ms”. I know you do. “Daddy, can I do a job for you”? You wanna do a job for me? “Yeah.” Go put all the cushions on the couch. “Okay. Then I can have some peanut butter M&Ms?” [sigh]yes.

Noah has mastered the sweet guy/brain dead approach. He knows that a tantrum never gets him what he wants, so he sweetly asks and asks again until I go brain dead and finally give in. He’s got it down to a science. I wish he was around when I was a sales trainer. He could have taught things to my teams that an adult never could, because isn’t that the ultimate goal of salespeople? To overcome all of your concerns, inundate you with charm, and keep asking until you say yes?

Just yesterday he sold his way out of getting in trouble for having an accident in his pants because he didn’t want to stop playing. He also sold his way into an extra bedtime story, an extra bedtime song, trampoline time, and his very own ice cold bottled water from the store. All things that I originally said no to when he first asked.

Don’t get me wrong. I love it every time he does it. I sit back and think to myself, I hope you never lose these awesome skills. And then I look at other kids having tantrums at the store and think to myself, maybe the kid deserves some peanut butter M&Ms just cause he’s such a dang awesome kid.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!