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The other day, my long-time neighbor, and even longer time acquaintance heard that my wife had split, and came over to chat about it. In the midst of the conversation, he said, “well, marriage ain’t no Disneyland, that’s for sure”. I thought about it for a second and realized that he was wrong. Dead wrong. Marriage is like Disneyland. In fact, it’s exactly like Disneyland.
To be better understood, I better first say how much I don’t care for Disneyland. Don’t get me wrong. The few split seconds of each day that you’re actually riding on rides, Disneyland is pretty fun; it’s the rest of the time at Disneyland that ain’t… well, that ain’t no Disneyland.
Most of Disneyland is rather masochistic. $10 bottled waters, $25 churros, and $100 photographs (which you have to buy or you’re a real schmuck). The complete elimination of your personal bubble is a big added bonus since you are forced to walk cheek to cheek with the most random strangers on earth. The lines are insanely long. The B.O. is overwhelming.
There is no place for nap time, so plan on some seriously cranky kids the second half of the day. The cost to get in is absolutely criminal, and you can pretty much plan on doubling your entrance fee during the day on knick knacks, patty-whacks, and pet dwarves. Getting out is no picnic. You better have at least a half tank of gas if you’re going to make it. Let’s not forget that it’s a lot closer to the equator than almost any of us live, and the heat melts the average person down at least 2 inches or more in height for every day spent there (where do you think the pet dwarves came from? They’re just long time employees that are officially too short to reach the cash registers anymore).
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its awesome how optimistic you are!
I like how you say what you think and don't care what other people say. I've never been to Disneyland, and we fully intend on taking our daughter there when she gets older. I know every moment won't be perfect, but when is it! And you are right about the marriage. Its damn hard, but you can love it too
Marriage is betting someone half your shit that you'll love each other forever. And they say gambling is risky!
I'm going to put myself out there and say something that will make you all think I am a terrible person. I think this is a great analogy. I adore my husband, but goodness he drives me crazy sometimes, and I do feel like I spend an awful lot of time waiting in line. On the other hand, most people don't typically live full time in Disneyland, or (I hope) think of marriage as something to be visited briefly every few years.
That said, (and this is what will make me sound awful) I would extend this analogy to parenting. *gasp!* *hiss* *boo!* I know, awful, right? I love my son with my whole being, more than any other creature in the world. Really I do! He does the most amazing things. He can take apart my vacuum, he can get the shower and closet doors off the rails, he escapes from clothes and diaper pins and sleep sacks at nap to get the poop out of his diaper (I'm sure I don't have to explain the rest of that), he scales shelves and walls like mini freakin' Spiderman to get to the thermostat so he can (almost) set our house on fire. (Of course, we now keep him continuously supervised and no longer duck out of the room to make lunch or fold laundry.) And then he will do the most amazingly cute, heart melting things that somehow make it all worth it. It's little stuff, like singing to his toys when I'm not looking pretending to nurse his stuffed bear, and I'm not quite sure about how the math works out to be honest, but it's that little stuff that makes it okay to put off my career, to give up my free time for his therapies, to spend half my day picking the sippy cup up off the floor, and to carry human feces around in my favorite purse. It's very much like Disneyland around here, I think. We go on some crazy rides, for sure. And there are days when, in spite of the cuteness and love, I feel really, truly, bat-s**t crazy and I just want to go "home."
Then I get in line to see my husband.
I LOVE Disneyland (I'm an annual passholder and live 30 minutes from there) but I'd have to agree that marriage is like Disneyland but not necessarily in the same way you described it.
Disneyland can be a nightmare if you go on a hot, crowded day with the determination to fit absolutely everything that the park has to offer into the one day to "get your money's worth" regardless of how everyone is feeling.
On the other hand, Disneyland can be magical if you plan it well and take into account the weather, energy levels, what everyone wants to see and do, and take advantage of fun opportunities to rest that Disney offers. For instance, as passholders we usually don't go until after naptime. We go for dinner and everyone picks one favorite ride and then we go home just as the fireworks are in the sky so we can watch them as we leave. On the times that we go all day, we plan times for rest. We'll head across to Disney's California Adventure to sit in the Animation Studio to watch the best clips from movies projected on the walls and ceiling and listen to the music and then walk around and find out which character we are most like and which character we're most like if we were bad guys and put our voices in movie clips. And then when we're refreshed, we go on more rides. Instead of going on everything, we pick favorites and plan out a route that takes us there without running all over. Plan breaks for snacks (bring them to save money!), if you're staying at a hotel, go back in the heat of the day for a nap or a dip in the pool.
And, after 13 years of marriage - I think marriage is the same way. If you have a specific idea of what you think it should be but don't adjust your plan based on changes in the "weather" or "energy levels" or what everyone needs, everyone ends up unhappy.
Interesting comparison. I just took my niece and nephew to Disneyland this summer so I can understand your comments. Luckily we stayed at a hotel near the park so we could have some down time. The kids liked the pool as much as they liked Disneyland!
As for how it relates to marriage, I would be interested to know if you still feel the same way a year later? I have been married and divorced twice. I wouldn't trade those experiences, nor would I repeat them. Life sure looks different in hind sight. Kind of like looking back a few years from now on the pictures from Disneyland and forgetting about the lines and the cranky kids and instead remembering that my niece rode every ride with her hands in the air and that her older brother screamed like a girl when we surprised him with the trip for his birthday. (I have it on video, we didn't tell him until we got to the hotel.) Hopefully that is what they remember too. I think for those of us that have been divorced the same applies. We can look back and remember the good things and then maybe we'll be ready to take another trip.
this was a seriously amusing (AND insightful) comparison. Love it. Haven't been married, but .... yeah. I have a love-/hate relationship with disneyland and I know marriage can't be a cake-walk..
I stumbled upon your site through someone I follow on Twitter. I am on the I Love Disneyland Team but I LOVED this post, Dan! Brilliant...I will definitely be back for more. And I love that this is your site with Noah :)