I am about to send a letter to someone that I betrayed in the recent past. It’s not easy for me to do this (or to admit to it), and I was hoping that you, my readers, could read through it for me before I send it, and tell me if you think it is truly sincere and gives me a chance at reconciliation with her.
I think that at some point in each of our lives, we will all do things that will haunt us eternally, or at the very least, until we finally confess them and confront them. There are a few things I’d like to get off my chest because they have been weighing heavily on me, and I know that I can’t shake them until I own up to them. I’m sure after reading this, you’ll understand why I have been carrying this burden for so long. It is never easy to admit something as despicable as this.
Before I tell you what I did, let me tell you how much I need you and hope that this confession does not ruin us for good. I hope you will be able to see past what I did, though I understand if you can’t and need to not see me anymore. You have always taken good care of me; I’ve never had anything to complain about.
Allow me to point out some of my favorite things about you. You always cut straight to the point. You’re on your feet working all day long, and at the end of the day when I finally get to see you, you somehow always have a great big smile for me and ask me how my day was. You always are willing to do what I want done, and you always accommodate if I ask for something different. It seems you always have time for me, and when we get to spend that time together, you make it all about me. You’re okay if I am not up for talking much, and when I can’t shut up you are genuinely interested in what I have to say. Oh, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I always look forward to your incredible scalp massages, especially when I’ve had a long day at work.
You’re the best. The absolute best. Let’s be honest, it’s why I picked you out of all the girls I had to pick from. I could have had any girl, but I chose you because I knew you’d always be there for me, and I knew you’d never let me walk out the door at the end of the day without the feeling that you gave me your best.
The truth is, I’ve done something that I’m not proud of, and I’m afraid of losing you and all of the incredibleness that you are because of it. I sincerely hope not. I hope that we can quickly put it behind us and move forward. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you can understand. And here is my confession:
I cheated on you. And I hate myself for it. I cheated on you with two different women and another man. It all happened at different points in time over the past eighteen months. All three happened because too much time passed, and I became desperate for you. I needed you. And in those moments that my circumstances so desperately demanded you, I called to see if you’d be there. But you weren’t. And those needs needed to be fulfilled. So I found others to fulfill them. It’s that simple.
I’d rather not disclose who the three people were. You know them all personally and love them all. What’s worse is that you work with them all every single day. If you can’t move on without knowing names, I will tell you, but the past is in the past and I’d hate to damage your relationship with three incredible people that you love so much if it isn’t absolutely necessary for us to heal.