Today we’ll go funny funny since yesterday was more of a lame show-off cute dad day.
I won’t lie to you. I’m a *bit* bothered by something. Why has nobody from South Dakota ever visited Danoah.com? According to Google Analytics, I have a pretty awesome group of followers going on across America (and worldwide, actually). Check out my funky little visitors map taken a few days ago. White is zero visitors, and the darker green you go, the more visitors that state has sent over.
A few observations here before I start my verbal attack. First… Utah. At this point in time, you obviously dominate the clicking. You better be careful, though, because any darker and you’ll be the only black state on a map full of green. We wouldn’t want to tarnish Utah’s squeaky clean reputation or anything. Second, mad props to Florida, New York, California, and Texas, even if you get it by default for having a bazillion people living under your canopies. The rest of America (except for one), thanks for wasting your time with me. Even Alaska and Hawaii have put up some decent numbers (thanks Erica!).
And then there’s South freakin’ Dakota. Why do you guys not like me? I looked up your population. You have over 800,000 people living there. Surely there are a baker’s dozen of you that own a computer. Yet, not a single soul from the Mount Rushmore State has ever come to visit. I’ve even had visitors from 24 other countries, half of which don’t speak English! Hmmm, I guess if you’ve ever heard a South Dakotan talk, neither do they.
Anyway, sorry to be such a big boob about it. Moving on…
Studying this map, I did come to one HUGE realization. I could totally use this data to find my next soul mate (in a decade or two when the data is extremely solid). Think about it. Over time, this map will tell me who understands me. This map will tell me who likes me. This map will tell me who gets my humor. This map will tell me who is over-obsessed with me. This map will tell me who I should pay more attention to. This map is better than any dating website algorithm. This map… is… is… is… the only thing I’ll ever need to decide if a girl is worth a second date at all, and it could even tell me if she might be ‘the one’.
“So where you from?” Arizona. “Arizona… okay, let me check my map real quick… Yep. you’re okay for a second date, when should we go out?” Tomorrow? “Yeah, let’s see… according to my map, you’re not really tomorrow material. Arizona has only sent enough people to warrant a next week date”. What if I sent a bunch of friends to your blog tonight? “Well, it looks like 25 new people would bump you up a shade and that would be good enough for three days from now. Can you get that many?” I’ll do it.
“So where you from?” California. “California… okay, let me check my map real quick… Wow…” What? “This may seem forward for a first date, but will you be my girlfriend?” Really? That is a little forward. I know, but look at my map. We totally get each other. This could definitely work out. Okay, why not.
“So where you from?” South Dakota. “South Dakota… okay, let me look at my… CHECK PLEASE!”
This theory could work. This theory will work. If I ever had the incentive to keep going on my blog, this is it. It’s a fool proof plan. What do you think?
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
What state are you from, and tell me, please, how you’d envision the conversation.
PS, you are incredible. Have a great weekend.
Proud to be a Seattleite in the wonderful state of Washington! Though, I have lived in Texas and Ontario, Canada as well.
I love your sense of humor! If you're ever in Seattle, hit me up. ;)
Canada :) Love your sense of humour!
I'm from South Africa :) Not on your map!
Hi Dan....I'm from North Dakota by way of Chile, Georgia, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Michigan, California, Minnesota and Guam. (In my college years, I loved to travel, and live in different. Then I served in the USAF for 6 years). I'm very sad to say that I've never lived in South Dakota, so I can't add that state. But let me just tell you, I have met some folks from South Dakota, and they seem to be very similar to those I've met from North Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Minnesota and Nebraska to name a few - all amazing. I am married, and have 4 beautiful girls. Reading your blog reminds me of many long conversations I've had in my life with many beautiful people all over our great country and around the world. I love that about your blog.
I'm a readre from Rome, Italy (born and raised!)
Keep up the good work!
BTW - I love Utah, I love to think of it as my second home
lol!! But shouldn't you technically DATE a girl from South Dakota, because there's zero chance she's a cyber-stalker of your blog, because you're so popular and hawt? =p Then, when she goes home after the date and Googles you, BAM! More traffic for your blog. South Dakota will officially become non-albino.
I'm from Utah too!! Sorry, I'm sad to inform you that your plan won't work here, seeing as how 2/3rds of your Utah followers are guaranteed to be married housewives who then email your posts to their husbands so as to (while being oh-so subtle) make them better dads. I should know. I'm one of them. So is my mom. And my Grandma. Just be forewarned: Middle aged Utah women love you almost as much as they love Twilight. Which, unfortunately, is a lot!
I'm from Utah. I'd expect the conversation to go something like this
Dan: So, where are you from?
Me: Oh, Utah, born and bred.
Dan: So when should we have our wedding?
Me: Well, in true Utah fashion, we should wait at least three days. Any faster and people would start to wonder.
Dan: True dat. (Yes, I have just turned you into a homeboy. No I don't know why.)
Oh this is hilarious! I am a new follower and was going through the blogs- I had just sat down my laptop when I had to pick it back up and say to myself (out loud I think too...) Did I just see South Dakota?!?!?! Wahoo!!! Us South Dakotans get excited to see our name mentioned! And no joke to people not being able to point us out on the map! I've lived in SD all my life- and until you knocked this great state- I was going to marry you! LOL
P.S. We do speak english!!!
this is hilarious!(from oregon!)
I'm a South Dakota girl, born and raised (however I live 1 mile across the border in ND now). I have to laugh at some of the comments people have posted about SD, obviously haven't been there. Oh well. =) Wouldn't trade my life on the prairie for anything!
Germany!!! =D And married. But I think one of my daughters would be AWESOME for Noah ;) Totally kidding.....or am I? (Would totally work out when hubby and I go back to the states. We're originally from California) =)
You have readers in Israel as well! Love your blog. So honest, funny and inspiring.
Hey, I'm from Finland and I just found out about your blog today. I think you're an amazing writer and you have a great sense of humor! I'm defineatly gonna start reading your stuff more! Keep up the good work!
I'm from Malaysia. Where do I fit in? By the way, I love your blog. I relate to it, being a single mom myself. Don't ever stop blogging!!!
Another proud South Dakotan here. As some of those previous posted, we are generally an outdoorsy group, esp. in the summer. We are normally working in some capacity when we are on our computers (yes, actually working) and we spend our free time away from them as much as possible!
That being said, we are also a quiet group that doesn't speak out, but I think you're confused with the accent thing. I think you must have us confused with the Minnesotans and/ or North Dakotans. Some South Dakotans that you probably know and sound like the rest of us are Tom Brokaw, Mary Hart (who also speaks Danish and Swedish fluently) and Cheryl Ladd.
You have readers in the US Virgin Islands too!
I am from the Philippines! Following you and sharing your funny but real thoughts to the people here. Keep it up, single dad! ^_^
Yep I have been following you for about a month....and I am from South Dakota.....
"Next" soul mate? How many ex-wives do you need to go through?
Saskatchewan. And I'm here because of a friend sharing your Perfection post. :-)
hi! so i came across ur blog thru a friend (fb, mind u, so all of our other friends will soon be following) & i gotta say, LOVE it! what an awesome dad u r!!! i'm from LA, CA. keep going & we will keep reading! u rock, SDL!
Regarding Google Analytics, I'm a search engine marketing geek and I would venture to say that, for whatever reason, it's an issue with Google Analytics being able to track visits from South Dakota. It looks like other bloggers (http://ahoyhanoi.blogspot.com/2010/04/google-analytics.html)" target="_blank"> " target="_blank">(http://ahoyhanoi.blogspot.com/2010/04/google-analytics.html) and (http://bestrooftalkever.com/post/240400113/this-is-a-wonderful-map-of-the-50-states-that-has)" target="_blank"> " target="_blank">(http://bestrooftalkever.com/post/240400113/this-is-a-wonderful-map-of-the-50-states-that-has) have had similar issues. Yes, I just researched that. :)
"so where are you from?"
"New Zealand"
"whats that?"
"3 islands off the bottom right of Australia"
"oh you're from Australia?"
"No i'm from New Zealand"
"but thats part of Australia right? just like that little trianlge island underneath Australia"
"no, thats Tasmania... that IS part of Australia, but New Zealand is its own country"
"ooooooooh you're like one of those Flight of the Conchord guys?!"
"yeah except I don't have my own band"
"do you dress up like a robot?"
"sometimes"
"wow you're the most awesome person ever!"
"I know"
=D
Even Obama thinks we're Australia lol
I'm from South Dakota... Several of my Facebook friends (South Dakotans) are your followers too...
Feeling so singled out, jeez =P
Amusing, though, to find South Dakota in somebody's blog. Most people from other states can't seem to even point us out on a map, half the time, lolz =P
South Dakota single mom here. We speak English, beer cans are not the state flower and mosquitos are not the state bird. And some of us follow you so have some compassion.
South Dakota! My husband and I started dating when I was in 8th grade and he was a freshman. Got married after graduation, struggled with some infertility (yes SD people read your blog!), have 4 sons and just celebrated 10 years of marriage.... just sayin, dating an SD gal worked for my hubby!
Pennsylvania! If you're wondering why I'd be looking out of state for a date (not that I'm looking, but...), check out this way-too-real video parody of California Gurls made by some guys from Pittsburgh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7ek7SWauEI
Australia. HAH! Though I found myself bonding well with folk from Texas, Ohio, and Arizona. Also met some pretty awesome folk from Montana. But people from every state seem to be awesome for different reasons. I mean, take Kentucky - so damn friendly you wind up kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. At least in my experience, though I hear you Americans have a bit of an Australia fetish.
oklahoma here!!!!
Another South Dakotan just showing up to represent! As has been said, while the weather is nice, we're outside. Just wait until it hits 10 below and we'll be flocking to your blog.
(Oh, and as someone who used to knock South Dakota, I'm now eating my words. It's a great state. It could use a few more mountains, and maybe some forests in the eastern half...but it's pretty full of awesome people.)
Utah here baby!! I just found your blog tonight and have already shared two posts. *shrugs* I would like to know also if it is counting individual visits, as in I have been to the site twice tonight, so does that count as one or two people from Utah, get it?
convo..
you: So, what state you from? me: Utah. You: Utah?! Uh.. so what , uh kind of uh stalker laws you have there in Utah? *nervous laugh* Me: Relax I'm not a stalker and I'm happily married. You: Oh ok, hey do you have any single friends? Me: Sorry, not anymore, better luck in California! :D
I have to comment annon, my fb won't connect. :(
Any way you could post an updated map? I bet Texas is way cooler now ...
Ha! Utah! That's right, the darkest one, your biggest fans ;)
Wow, sad that MAINE, the lame ass state I am from, has more visitors than some other states. I can see it now:
-*ring* Hello, this is Dan.
-Ohai, Dan, it's Alisha.
-Hey, where are you from?
-Maine.
-*silence*
-Hello???
-Isn't it all moose and lobster up there?
-No! There are people too... well, yeah. I guess if you go up north, there *are* more moose than people...
;]
I'm a Utah one myself. Enjoying this blog immensely. in fact I have essentially spent my entire Friday afternoon while at work reading about your life. I hope that by saying that I'm not giving you 'too much' validation or giving you the impression that I'm "obsessed" with you. Because I'm not. honest. Although since I am from Utah that ranks highly on my ability to date you... crap... what part of Utah were you from again. LOL!
Oklahoma and seeing as the color is a light green I am going to say the conversation would be something like: me- hi, i am married but have plenty of friends that would love you
you- really (checking your map), it might be a few years before i try that again
lol, no but really i love your posts. i have shared you on facebook and will continue to do so with every post!
Aussie, Aussie.
I'm from Dela-where? and am a brand-new follower!
Oklahoma! Home of Woody Guthrie and Will Rogers. C'mon, you know you love us.
Just found your blog through the "How Much Did Your Kid Cost?" post. Great site! I'm in Tennessee but have lived in California, Wyoming, and Texas, so that would probably just confuse you, ha!
From South Dakota, but stuck in Utah (suck!). I love your site, so don't be a jerk ;)
Alaska! And I see the conversation going something like this:
ME-Hi Dan, nice to meet you.
YOU- Hey there! So, you're REALLY from Alaska?
ME-No, I'm lying to get attention.
YOU- "haha" Ok, sorry, that was kinda lame. So what's it like to live in the dark for six months.
ME- I have no idea because that's a myth, but how about I lock you in a closet for six months then you can give me an answer when you come out.
YOU- Ummm....yeah....CHECK!!!
I'm from Australia :) And know lots of other Aussie mums who are nodding and laughing along to your blog.
Minnesota!!! I Enjoy Reading your Blog, it gives me the chuckle that I need and sometimes the tears!!
While I just stumbled to your blog today, and I am normally from Virginia, I am currently living in - gasp - South Dakota.
The reason why no one from here has been to your blog is because this state is full of ridiculous outdoorsy type people who think it's 'fun' to trek in snow up to your waist or cliff jump into freezing waters and other such things. I don't live here because I want to (thanks a lot, Air Force) but since I do I try to right the wrongs and spend way too much time on the internet. So, there you go :)
Representing South Dakota! It may take us a little longer to figure things out than the coasts, but we get there eventually!
Hey now. Im from South Dakota. And i follow you, I even put links to some of your posts on facebook. >.>
Ahhhh.. now I finally understand. I was wondering when reading the Perfection post why there were so many mormons.... >.