As a warning, the following post was written in complete desperation. I have recently learned some very sobering truths from people that I love dearly. These truths have set in motion a quest within me to do whatever I can to make a change. Today is not geared at funny. Today is geared at something much greater.
I have to wonder. Am I the only one aware that there is an infectious mental disease laying siege on us as individuals right now? There is a serious pandemic of “Perfection” spreading, and it needs to stop. Hear me out because this is something for which I have passionately and constantly hurt. It’s a sickness that I’ve been trying to put into words for years without much success. It’s a sickness that I have personally struggled with. It’s a sickness that at times has left me hiding in dark corners and even hating myself.
And chances are it’s hit you too.
What is the disease called “Perfection”? Perhaps a list of its real-life symptoms will help you better understand it.
We live in communities where people feel unconquerable amounts of pressure to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional, and perfectly figured. “Perfection” is much different than perfectionism. The following examples of “Perfection” are all real examples that I have collected from experiences in my own life, from confidential sources, or from my circle of loved ones and friends. If you actually stop to think about some of these, you will probably cry as I admittedly did while writing it. If you don’t, maybe you’re infected with a little too much of this “Perfection” infection.
“Perfection” is a wife who feels trapped in a marriage to a lazy, angry, small man, but at soccer practice tells the other wives how wonderful her husband always is. “Perfection” keeps people from telling the truth, even to themselves. My husband is adorable. He called me a whore this week because I smiled at a stranger. When I started crying, he said he had a game to go watch. I love him so much.
“Perfection” is a husband who is belittled, unappreciated, and abused by his wife, yet works endlessly to make his marriage appear incredible to those who surround him at the water cooler. “Perfection” really does keep people from being real about the truth. You would have laughed, guys. She said that I suck at my job and will never go anywhere in life. Then she insinuated that I was a fat, rotting pile of crap. Isn’t she the best?
“Perfection” is a daughter with an eating disorder that keeps it hidden for years because she doesn’t want to be the first among her family and friends to be imperfect. She would give anything to confront it, but she can’t because then the “Perfect” people would hate her as much as she hates herself for it.
“Perfection” is when a son has a forbidden addiction, and despises himself for it. “Perfection” makes us believe that nobody else could understand what it is like to be weak and fall prey to the pressures of the world.
“Perfection” is a man who loathes himself for feeling unwanted attraction toward other men.
“Perfection” is a couple drowning in debt, but who still agree to that cruise with their friends because the words “we don’t have the money” are impossible ones to push across their lips.
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There's a little thing I've said for many years ... I said it today again when the worker at the checkout stand at the store made a mistake.. "If you were perfect, nobody would love you." Now and then, someone will answer, "well, that's good, because EVERYBODY must love me!" My hope is that those words stay in the speaker's ears and mind as they go on through their day. It is a beautiful affirmation, though they don't usually know that's what it is. I have met perfect people, too, and I've found they're very hard to take. "Real" is much more approachable, much friendlier, much more natural. I've always been immensely imperfect and seldom tempted to hide it; I would never survive under the pressure to seem perfect at every turn. I don't think it's fair to ever expect that of anyone.. a loved one or a stranger. The heartbreaking stories you've shared remind us all that perfection is a miserable trap. Strive for excellence, if you're intent on finding something to strive for...but leave "perfect" behind.
I want to share my testimony on how i was able to get back my husband around September last year with the help of Dr Ekaka. My husband left me for over 3years and went on with another lady and i was unable to move on with my life because of the love i have for him last month i saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr Ekaka help someone with love spell so i never believe it but just have to try my faith which i did and i contacted him on his email: [email protected] and he told me what i need to do and after 2days i received a call from my husband asking me to come back to him it was all like a dream to me i am so happy now as we are back together again thanks to Dr Ekaka and i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him
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To be honest, or I guess real, I hate myself for a lot of reasons. And I've fooled everyone, therapists, friends, family, my love and even myself that I don't. That I have accepted my Imperfections. But that's not true, not real. The truth is, I keep a pair of pants in my closet from freshman year because I still hope that I will one day for in them, but that hope is really long gone. I've been wanting to lose weight for years, but have never really tried for longer than a couple months. I do a lot; I'm in band, go to school, I'm in choir, I have a job, I'm in two ap classes, I'm in student council. But being in all of this stresses me out to no end, usually causes me to let someone down and I can't CAN'T let any one of those things go because a) I'm not a quitter. It is not in my hardwiring to quit. B) in order to let one of things go, I would have to confront someone in authority, and that is terrifying to me, it's gotten me in a few spots of trouble and stress and it's one of the things I hate about myself. I hate being in trouble. Like I can't stand it, I am an eighteen year old senior in high school and I still cry when my parents yell at me. I still get panicked when my bosses get frustrated, when I let down my director or teacher. When I make one mistake I get flustered andmake five oor six more. I can ace calculus but I can't pass a driver's test. I'm so fat and not pretty except my eyes. I love the way my eyes look and then I feel guilty about it because I feel vain. I'm awkward but I'm a really weird way. I sometimes find that I interrupt people a lot. I try really hard at everything, and it makes me really mad that people can have as much or more than me when they haven't done a damn thing to deserve it. I'm somewhat judgemental that way, but I preach no judgement. Sometimes I think I wasn't meant for this world. I hate the way people treat me as a McDonald's employee, and I wish I could force them to listen to the story of my humanity or make them take a walk in my shoes before they yelled at me for too much ice in their coke at ten a clock at night after I've been going for sixteen hours straight with another four to go. I wish I could show them just how hard it is to work a fourteen hour day. I've attempted suicide three times. One of them somewhat recently. Ironically, being an asthmatic,I tried to go out by taking away air source all three times. All three times were due to believing I was disliked by just peers. I've always known my family loves me, but for some reason I put way too much stock in what my peers think of me. I don't really think I'm depressed, since these "over dramatic episodes"as my mom would call them, only happen when I am stressed out or "need attention". That hurts me, and it makes me angry, because it makes me feel like she doesn't think I can feel the same pain and need to escape as she did. And no my path wasn't anywhere near as dark, but the pain is still real, and the thoughts still happen. She can call hers depression, but what the hell is mine? I'm jealous that she has a name for hers. And because of my mom and dad's opinions on those types of thoughts, I feel the need to hide them. I'm ashamed for having them, like it's my fault. so I don't do anything about them. I don't let anyone know about them.And hiding them makes me worse. I sometimes write in my diary in the hopes that my parents will snoop and find them and maybe think that I'm not trying to be overly dramatic. I tell my mom it's ok for them to miss events and concerts when it really hurts my feelings. Sometimes I feel like I need help, but by going for help I would find a world of trouble that I'm not ready for yet. And that statement was so scary it just made me cry. Because I didn't know that about myself.
You should read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Also a book called Behind the Mask would really help. I struggle with all of these. I am an overachiever because I learned a long time ago growing up that I get more attention doing things for people. People will love me if I do things for them or make their life better. If I can help their day go better then I am a good person. But nobody saw me or tried as hard as I did. Why don't people try as hard for me? Why don't people care so much about my day? I strive for success in my everyday life cause I find worth in my accomplishments and I have to find validation somewhere since I am not getting it from my peers or family...I realize its a control thing. If I can control my grades, my weight, my house (cleanliness), my car...at least I have SOME form of control because I can't control how people treat me or think about me and that's really what I wish I can control. And in reality we don't have control on anything and that what makes me frustrated the most. Some days I live by faith and those are good days...peaceful days. But the fight for control always comes back. I get so fed up pleasing everybody else...so emotionally exhausted that I freak out...flip out. And I panic because then I worry someone will think I have a mental disorder or that I am bipolar...and I refuse to have a title... I don't want medication. That would mean defeat. And a mental disorder 50% of the time is just someone exhausted and fed up with the fight...with life. With lack of control and chaos. And I could never surrender to these. I blame it on birth control most days...which can definitely be a contributing factor...but deep down I know its because I don't have control over something and I can't handle it.
I just found this blog. I love it. I'm not perfect. I used to try to be. I live in Yorba Linda...Land of Gracious Living. Everyone is pseudo perfect here. I see perfection daily. I can't obtain it. I try to be real now. That didn't used to be the case. It's hard to show perfection when your daughter is addicted to pot, your husband is cheating on you and you have a cancer diagnosis. What I learned is...the pot, the cheating and the cancer are all related. The lack of paying attention to those that matter and instead paying attention to those that didn't left a deep emptiness. It made me empty and sick and let cancer literally grow. I'm in remission after 2.5 years of treatments. My marriage is being renewed after a lot of work and forgiveness. No one is perfect. It's impossible. Let's all be kind to one another.
I am lactose intolerant and gluten intolerant. I did some Christmas baking yesterday for my son and husband. I intended on not eating it because I was told that these recipes would not work if I used my regular substitutes for the wheat and dairy I wanted them to turn out just like my mother-in-law's baking. After I finished baking, my son did not want to eat what I made and my husband told me that they did not turn out the same as his mom's. So I started to eat.. after the fourth sausage roll and the fifth butter tart I felt ashamed of myself; The guilt and pain hit me like and ton of bricks. The rest of the day I spent in bed in agonizing pain; At one point I had an anxiety attach thinking that I was going to die. My body just wanted to get the crap that it could not digest out of me. 16 hours later I am still in pain and ashamed of myself.
This isn't the only time I have given in to eating things that I shouldn't; Sometimes I choose to eat the wrong things because I really want to eat it and other times I do because I know I cannot afford to buy the alternative.
Sometimes I struggle with whether I should politely take the food that is offered to me or to tell the person that I shouldn't eat it. I hate to admit that I shouldn't eat these things and choose not to admit it. When I am in a restaurant I don't like to tell the waitress because I know that some people think that I am making it up due to the craze of gluten free eating. (a friend on Facebook posted a rant from a waitress saying that she knows that the people who come into her restaurant and say that they are gluten intolerant are not really allergic because if they were they wouldn't go out for food) And I feel guilty for making them go out of their way to make my food safe for me to eat when I struggle to that for myself at home.
I am struggling in my new marriage. I feel like he doesn't try to do anything anymore. He wants to act like a single guy and have minimal responsibilities but have all of the benefits of marriage and puts on a good show to the outside world that we're great. I find myself wondering why I stay so concerned about his well being, our finances, etc. when he does not return the favor. I wonder if staying single was better; it certainly was easier. I am also hyper-aware of how my mother treated my father during their miserable 30 years together and I'm afraid I will end up just like her.
I constantly compare myself/life/body to other women in my group of friends. I've always been the skinny, petite one but now some of the girls have lost weight and are closer to my size. I struggle to find what my position is in this group. I want to be recognized for SOMEthing but I feel like I am constantly overshadowed.
One of the most difficult moment of my life was coming to live to live in Indiana,moving from Ny .Start a new life in Indiana with just my mom and my siblings and my stepfather. Start a new school,meet a new family , move in to a new house in my early teenage life. It was very difficult for me to adjust to a new life, not having my family in Indiana, not being able to see my friends, my dad anymore. My parents got divorced and that's why we moved to Indiana. I was so young I thought my parents were going to be together forever , and when I saw that they were getting a divorced it emotionally affected me. My parents getting divorced a year later my mom remarrying another guy was very difficult for me and moving to Indiana.
One of the more difficult moments in my life was came to USA. Start a new life in a new place with different customs and cultures. Sounds easy, but when you do not know the language and the life style in a place where you go for first time is so hard to go ahead like everybody, is like a new beginning at an unknown location. Also, the weather is hard for some one who came from the Caribbean like me.
I was so desperate with my situation then. I remembered told to my mom that I wanted go back to my country (Dominican Republic). If the "me now" could send a message to the "me then" I would say keep calm and believe in your self, work hard to achieve your goals, and always give your best, but never give up.
The perfection do not came to you as a gift or magically, you have to work hard and never give up. If you give a 100% in your life is because you have more to give. Never stop, because the perfection mean convert your dreams in reality.
My senior year of high school I was addicted to alcohol. It got to the point where I woke up and drank, went to class and drank, and before I went to bed I drank. I was drunk nonstop and it was all over a girl and my uncle. My uncle was my best friend and when I was going through the girl struggles he was to, so we both drank together all the time.
If I could go back and tell myself that it wasn’t worth it and that there were better and more beautiful girls out there and not to worry about that one. If I could also go back id have my uncle stop with me and not to experience with other drugs and now he would still be alive as well. I lost my uncle and he was my best friend because we started with alcohol and he went to other drugs because of a girl. No he’s gone do to an over dose and I’ll never see him again.
It reminds me how short our lives really are on the world, and how it can be taken away at any minute. It shows me all the wrong of done and it reminds me that the wrong I did is making me a better person from the mistakes I have made. It also reminds me that a very beautiful and funny many with the best life lessons is gone do to mistakes made. It reminds me on how bad I miss him and want him back every day.
The biggest struggle in my life would have to be the year my son was born. I am not saying I regret having him, but it definitely made things difficult for me and my husband. I was working full-time and going to work on no sleep at all; my son has never been a good sleeper and he still isn’t to this day. I also did not have any patience and did not know the first thing about taking care of a baby. While my husband was at work it was just me and my son and I was lost, I spent a lot of time crying.
If I could tell myself anything I would tell myself to have patience and it DOES get easier. Do not stress, I know that is easier said than done. The first year is the hardest, but you will not regret for one second having Brock. He will be the best thing that has ever happened to you and make you the happiest person in the world. So the feelings you are feeling is totally worth it, I promise.
I have learned through the years that nobody is perfect and everyone has their own struggles. Maybe someone who had their first kid didn’t take it as hard as I did, or maybe they took it worse than I did. Never judge anybody for anything, it is not right. I used to be a totally different person before I had my son, he changed me, but for the better. I am thankfully every day for him and so glad that he has come into my life. If he didn’t I don’t know where I would be today.
The hardest struggle in my life is I get really nervous when I talk in front of big group of people. That struggle is holding me back because in our family business we have to be able to make business deals and talk to other people ,but I get really nervous when I am the center of attention. One day I try to act brave and go to the meeting with my brother where we had to do an presentation. My brother offered me to present and I said "yes", thinking I would be able to do it ,but instead I just stood in front of everyday not saying a word and shaking because I was really nervous. Something that I could have told myself than was to act brave and show everyone that you are also capable of doing a presentation in front of a big group of people without getting nervous. I had to have more confidence in myself to be better next time. Something That I have learned after reading the Perfection blog is we all want to be prefect ,but there is always something in a person that will make them get the disease perfection.
My name is Sean Roska the hardest trial I had to go through is losing my mom. When I lost my mom it was over the summer of 2007. We had planned a vacation when she got better. It was on July 5th of 2007. She went into the hospital for surgery on her stomach. During the surgery the surgeon cut my mom’s small vowel. And did not know it after a couple of days my mom said she was so sick she could not move. When the doctors did some test the found the cut. The same day they opened her back up to fix the cut. When she came out she was worst then she was. They had to put her into the ICU. She was in there for 10 days on the 11th day she got out of the ICU room and got a regular room. We thought she was going to be OK. Later that day my mom and I watched a movie called the pursuit of happiness. She told me she was not going to be around much longer and that no matter what happens she wants me to do my best at everything I do and never give up. I said mom I you’re not going to die. That night I went home because I was at the hospital all week and my uncle got a call from my aunt to rush me to the hospital. When I got there she was gone. That was the most hardest thing I had to go through.i if I could tell myself then to listen to what she was saying and do what she said. now i am telling my self that i need to do the best for me like my mom said to do. This Perfection blog has shown me we can only change now. and we need to change for the good.
Biggest struggle that I face in life would be school. School has never been easy for me and making it to college is phenomenal. Parents had me repeat first grade so it wouldn't be as challenging but its still a challenge. At school I'm not very confident and that's where I don't try to make friends there. I was scared to be know as one of the dumbest kids in class. 8th grade year I finally broke out of being the kid in the corner of not talking to others. I had 4 to 5 friends convince me that I was strong and should not to be afraid to stand up to talk.I got over one of the fears of school but still have fears. To get away from school fears I go out hunting with my grandpa as much as possible and have fun getting dirty in the woods. If I'm not with him then I'm with my 2 best friends hanging out or my aunts house entertaining my cousins. School is the death of me!
The biggest struggle I went through would probably be when my parents got divorced due to my dad cheating. I was about nine years old and this happened right after my grandfather died. One day after school, my mom and dad said "We need to talk to you" and the next thing I know is that he is living with the woman he cheated on my mom with and her three daughters and my mom is out every night drinking and bringing back after parties. When my dad proposed to this woman, she took all his inheritance money and went back to her ex husband. My mom's after parties were bad. She had random people in the house every night. Had boyfriend after boyfriend. The parties would keep me up at night and I wouldn't be able to get up for school the following morning. If I could tell the me then something, I would tell myself that it gets better and to not allow myself to go into a depression.
My biggest struggle has to be when my parents divorced because my dad cheated and my mom went through a phase of sleeping around and alcoholism. This was when I was around 9 years old. Came home from school, mom and dad said 'We need to talk to you', next thing I know is that my dad is living with the woman he cheated on my mom with and my mom is bringing home after parties every night. My dad eventually proposed to this woman, she took all of his money then left him for her ex husband. My mom's after parties were so bad that I would be up all night and would have to skip school the next day because I was so tired. If I could say something to the me then, I would tell myself that it gets better. Don't sink into a depression.
My biggest struggle that I have had was when my dad left me and my mom when i was only two years old. I went to his house very other weekend, where he would ship me off to some relatives until I was ten years old, then he married Courtney who would make me sleep on the kitchen floor when I was bad, and completely stole my dad away and made him turn on me. Being younger, I never thought much of it, and I never told my mom. When I turned thirteen I began to realize how bad this was and told my mom. She gave me the option to not see him anymore. He was still my dad, and I just didn't understand, the the last time I saw him I was fifteen. I see it today, that he never was my dad. He shipped me off, and never tried to get to know me. If i could give myself a message back then, I would say "don't let them treat you this way, and don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong."
The biggest struggle I went through would have to have been when my ex and I of five years had broke up. We have broke up and had physically been fighting. Legal stuff than was involved. After the legal stuff was over I really began to lose myself. I was in the bar six nights a week drinking every night. It was a lot, it finally took my moving to my sisters and quitting the current job I had to help me. I finally got back on the right tract about 4 months after living with her. If i could go back and tell myself then, I would tell them to not do it and that everything is going to be okay, God wouldn't give me anything that i couldn't handle. i don't need alcohol or the attention of other males to help me. Reading this article called perfection has really got me thinking because I do hear a lot of people say things like that all the time. Now i wonder if they really mean it or they are just saying that to keep the perfect image.
I have struggled with eating disorders since I was 12, over half my life now, and I've never told anyone out of fear of what they might think. I am not perfect.
After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is [email protected] you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.
My name is Wade Lyons and my EX-Wife dumped me 8 months ago after I caught her of having an affair with someone else and i insulting her. I want her back in my life but she refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their EX back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him..... he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my EX-Wife will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my EX-Wife called Victoria came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again. Once again thank you Dr. Zexta Gio the great spell caster, you are truly talented and
gifted contact his email: [email protected]
During my last year of high school I was struggling and did not really know how I would graduate. I have never been a morning person and I started school in the morning at 8:30 I would arrive at school grouchy and just over it. I went through 4 years of high school feeling the same every morning I just really seem to hate school I was not very focused either I had peers and other people I could reach out to but I just choose not to. That was my mistake I needed someone to talk to someone to motivate me even though I had self motivation I still needed someone in my ear. I felt like all my family had to tell me was to just make sure i graduate they did not have anything else to offer. What the schools were teaching us my family was not taught that so I was on my own. I was not that far off track I was just being lazy and did not want to do anything at all. I had to buckle down and do what I had to do to graduate I have dreams in life so I had to focus on what's right. When I graduated with my class it was the happiest day of my life also just knowing that I can do what ever I put my mind to was an eye opener for me to.
People need to understand that no one's perfect you are your own definition of perfect so do not try to fit anyone else definition of perfect.
Have been all over looking for solution to my Marriage until i tried out the internet, I found Dr. Zexta Gio whom people talked about and shared good testimonies about him, My Husband has decide to leave our marriage, because he said he can't stand my mom, But i love my Husband so much that i can let him leave after 8years of marriage. So the Dr. Zexta Gio did changed the whole problems and issue to testimony, He did a spell to calm and reconcile my mom and my Husband and then carryout a spell to make my husband love me more and remain in our marriage. I saw results after 2days and to be frank and sincere, this Dr. Zexta Gio is a God sent. My family is as peaceful and lovely as i asked for. I'm grateful friends in case you need the help of Dr. Zexta Gio kindly mail him on ([email protected]). Sir, i will forever recommend you all over the world.
Hi, I am bolaji. I relate with the term perfection that society dawns on its casualties. Its maybe all that is maybe fixed into this vortex. However, I am glad we can share this voice to tell how what been perfect can really be a disease. As a young lady especially at teenage years it is an endless circle around perfection we never grasp. The need to look good, young and restless, and the for acceptance.
Times will be that the way I look would feel not pleasing to me because I feel the need to look good before I am looked by friends or given much kudos in a gathering etc, the need to keep buying shoes, changing hairstyle, new clothes, be here and there all to be in the unnecessary know that I am noticed and lastly, to have a boyfriend will make you seem important and doing things to please him or walk around with him in sightings places makes one feel acclaimed.
I see all this quest as worthless me sending a message to who I was then. It may be difficult to accept that you don't have to be that kind of person because one may feel left out because that is what the perfection has set it to be. One doesn't have to look good to be perfect, one doesn't have to dawn the finest or latest of things to be accept and one does not need to be of the opposite sex to be acclaimed not to add the topic of pre martial activity.
Reading this blog opened my perception of the idea of being perfect. no one can be perfect. I grasp that understanding. Being real is the best thing one can do for him or herself. Going for some you think you should have is wanting be perfect and this article has made me to realize that I do not have to because it does not make me real.
My name is Lee Marie from UK am 30 years old i got married at the age of 24 i have only Two child and i was living happily .After five year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail, i cry and cry seeking for help, i discussed it with my best friend Allix and she promise to help me. She told me of a man called DR godfather, she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has help countless number of people in restoring their relationship. I was really convince, I quickly contacted his email address at [email protected] . I explain all my problem to him, he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 3days my husband will come back to me and start begging, and it really happen as he said, i was very surprise, this is so amazing.To God be the glory our relationship is now very tight and we both live happily again. If you having similar problem, Contact him now([email protected]) and get your problem solve once and for all. i am a living testimony to it.
1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9)if you want to stop your divorce.
(10)if you want to divorce your husband.
(11)if you want your wishes to be granted.
You can also reach him through his mobile number +2347037285140
and his Email Address; [email protected] contact him immediately.
Hi guys I many years ago I tried to be perfect and it didn't work at all. As matter of fact as human beings, we want never be perfect. In my teen years I used to try new things. I would go out and party with my friend and just be a typical teen. As a 22 year old female, I have been set back from a lot of my goals in life. I settled down to early and started having kids instead of living the normal college kid life. Although I had made the decision of being a mom at an earlier age, my family supported me well on.
I can't be perfect, this was a hard lesson to learn and it took my wife leaving - telling me she'd been pretending for years - it took her realizing that she couldn't be perfect for me to realize I couldn't be. I'm struggling now, I'm struggling to recognize my weaknesses, identify the ones I need to and want to work on - but I'm doing it with more awareness than I think I ever thought I would have - and posts like this, they help - thanks Dan.
BE CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX OR LOVE BACK,ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTER HERE MUST BE IGNORE.BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE SCAM I MEAN REAL SCAM WHICH I WAS A VICTIM AND I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY WIFE BACK AFTER SHE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2 YEARS WITH MY 7 YEARS OLD SON JERRY,I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME ADDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM WEST AFRICA UNTIL ISAW A POST ABOUT MAMA ANITA SPELL AND I DECIDED TO GAVE HER MY LAST TRAIL.SHE ASK ME FOUR THINGS MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND $180 AND SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN 24HOURS, I HAVE PAID OVER $3000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAVE WORK FOR ME AFTER 3 DAYS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR SO I SAID LET ME GIVE HER A TRY SO I CALLED HER AGAIN AND SEND MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND THE $180 BECAUSE I SWEAR IT WAS MY LAST TRY SO I WAS WAITING AS SHE TOLD ME TO WAIT TILL NEXT DAY AND I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE MY WIFE AND WANT HER BACK AT 9PM THAT DAY I SAW MY WIFE ON LINE ON FACE BOOK AND SHE SAID HI AT FIRST I WAS SHOCK BECAUSE SHE NEVER TALK WITH ME FOR THE PAST A YEAR AND 9 MONTH NOW I DID NOT REPLY AGAIN SHE SAID ARE YOU THERE? I QUICKLY REPLY YES AND SHE SAID CAN WE SEE TOMORROW I SAID YES AND SHE WENT OFF-LINE I WAS CONFUSED I TRY TO CHAT HER AGAIN BUT SHE WAS NO MORE ON LINE I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AS I WAS WONDERING WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY, BY 7.AM THE NEXT MORNING SHE GAVE ME A MISS CALL I DECIDED NOT TO CALL BACK AS I WAS STILL ON SHOCK AGAIN SHE CALL AND I PICK SHE SAID CAN WE SEE AFTER WORK TODAY I SAID YES SO SHE END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY I GOT OFF WORK SHE CALL ME AND WE MEET AND NOW WE ARE BACK AGAIN I CALL MAMA ANITA THE NEXT DAY THANKING HER FOR WHAT SHE HAS DONE IN FACT I STILL CALL HER AND THANK HER AS MY LIFE WAS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT MY WIFE PLEASE BE CAREFUL HERE I HAVE BEEN SCAM THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU WANT A TRUE LOVE SPELL THEN CONTACT MAMA ANITA ([email protected])
I fell in love with a married man.
After that ended, I went looking for love with whomever I could.
I was never the other woman until then.
I have this inner voice that tells me how unattractive I am, and because of that I thrive on attention. I love being around men/women that tell me how attractive they think I am, ask me to dance, buy me drinks, etc.
I want nothing more than for the guy that I'm with now to be on the same fitness level as me so we can be "perfect" together.
I binge eat. It's getting better, but as soon as the going gets tough, I have a few drinks... and then my give a fuck goes out the window and I eat everything in sight. I hate myself as I do it.
I hate myself now.
I don't know what to do to be genuinely happy.
I'm more lost now than I've ever been.
I need help, but out of fear for my job I won't talk to anyone.
I just wanna go home.
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Most Powerful Black Magic by Dr. PayBack
Black Magic is a very renowned form of magic and need less to say that a very bad reputation surrounds black magic spells, sometimes with reason, but there are still many false ideas to correct. First of all, black magic can be very useful to cast magic love spells. Some persons believe that black magic can be used only to cast revenge spells. Secondly, it’s often said that black magic spells backfire. Concerning this matter, black magic is not different than other magical arts: it depends how the spell is cast. A professional spell caster always takes care that there is no possibility of backfire or bad karma. Thirdly, black magic doesn’t involve negative side-effects. As backfires, if the spell is cast by someone who knows a lot about the Craft, the spell will achieve its purpose and nothing bad will occur… unless you really want it!
REVENGE SPELLS and JUSTICE SPELLS
If you are seeking Revenge Spells like Curses, Hex, Black Magic, Witchcraft and VooDoo Dolls you may be surprised at what you find. Revenge Spells are a very tricky thing to find. Legit and effective Revenge Spells are actually called "JUSTICE SPELLS" and are cast by professional Spell Casters to help a client get justice for being hurt or for being wronged.
Here at Modern Love Spells we offer Revenge Spells but the true definition is JUSTICE SPELLS. These Spell Castings are cast for our clients with several goals. Mainly, justice is being sought. Many times a client will need a Revenge Spell cast for him or her because they were wronged by an ex lover. The reason you may need a Revenge Spell or a Justice Spell is irreverent.
If the Casting is Justified or not is entirely up to you. We simply offer the Justice Spell (revenge spell) and you decide who the Casting is for.
Below are a few types of Revenge Spells or Justice Spells and their names. Each Casting is different from the last and creates a different result of course. Let us look at a few names for common Revenge Spells or Curses.
POWERFUL REVENGE SPELLS/ CURSES / BLACK MAGIC And WITCHCRAFT SPELLS
HEX SPELLS - Hex Spells are very powerful Revenge Spells cast to seriously disrupt a persons life with negative Morphic based energies. The results of a HEX Spell Casting can range from simple bad luck to disasters happening in a persons life. One after the next. The same form of energy is used as in common Love Spells - Morphic Energy. This potent energy is used to infuse a person with ANTI - POSITIVE attraction energies. As a result, nothing positive manifests in a persons life. Only bad luck and negative situations arise.
CURSES & CURSE BASED SPELLS - Similar to the HEX Spell, the Curse is a Morphic Spell Casting that infuses a person with negative attraction energies. The biggest difference between the HEX Spell and the CURSE Spell is the power level. HEX Spells are roughly 10 to 50 times as powerful as the basic CURSE Spell Castings. In addition, Curses can be reversed with ease in 99% of all castings while HEX Spells are very difficult if not impossible to cancel or reverse. 90% of HEX Castings are permanent. This is another reason most legit and reputable online Spell Casters do not offer HEX Castings. If you are searching for an online Revenge Spell we strongly suggest choosing a CURSE Spell over a HEX Spell. Let us look at the top reasons WHY you should choose CURSE Revenge Spells over HEX Revenge Spells.
CURSES AND CURSE SPELLS CAN BE REVERSED - The type of Morphic Energy used in the Casting is very flexable and therefore can be shaped and directed far easier. This is a positive aspect because many clients decide later on they want the negative energies to stop creating so much bad luck and misfortune.
LEGIT HEX SPELLS ARE VERY RARE - Even if you DO decide a HEX Spell is in order, finding a legit and effective HEX Spell Caster can be very difficult. ONLY find in www.quickrevengespell.com, As we mentioned, Be very diligent when searching for HEX Spell Casters if you need a Revenge Spell cast.
CURSES and CURSE SPELLS ARE MORE AFFORDABLE - A legit HEX Casting can cost anywhere from $100 to $10,000. These prices are quite a bit higher then the cost of a basic Curse Casting.
THE SAME FACTORS APPLY TO REVENGE SPELLS THAT APPLY TO LOVE SPELLS
As we explain within this site, we use powerful Morphic Spell Energy to create binding and attraction energies. The same principle applies to Revenge Spells, Hex's, Curses and other Justice Spells. The difference is the attraction energies focus on NEGATIVE RESULTS and NEGATIVE SITUATIONS.
I was a 4.0 student in my undergrad, I was successfull in my job to the point that it bored me. I sit in my master's classes and feel like the smartest person in the room. I am in a very long term relationship. I work hard to keep up my facade of perfection.
I feel the most alone when with my partner or friends. I am extremely lonely.
I'm very insecure about my arms....to me they are freakishly fat and disproportioned from the rest of my body. I never ever show the them. All my outfits are coordinated around little sweaters to cover my arms. I will never... ever ...wear a tank top. I never show anything above the elbow.
I am a 21 year old college student. While I consider myself a happy person, I think I have struggled with loving myself over the years. In middle school and high school I was always worried about what I looked like. I felt I could never compare to the other pretty girls. I was extremely self-conscious. To this day, i've never had a boyfriend. It's hard to be myself around guys because i'm so worried about what I look like or if they're judging me. Because of my dad's job, I've had to move to a different states time and time again, so I was always the new kid. I am not nearly as self-conscious as I used to be, i've learned to just accept how I am.
I also deal with the fact that most of my friends are attending universities, and I attend a community college, and still live at home with my parents. On top of that, I have no idea what I want to do with my life as far as a career goes. So, I do worry and struggle with being confident in myself. It helps to think positively and just be thankful for the life I live.
I have A.D.D. and I know I am not alone and no one is alone just like me. I also sometimes am a person who moves so slow on work and I get really frustrated with people around me just like other people too.
no ones perfect, get over it. be yourself, be happy, never give up no matter how much you want to. your only a failure. if you "give up"
Looking at this article, I recall how angry I was growing up in a world that told me I was fat when I actually was not. NOW my body is quite fat. I became what I was told I was. If I don't heal my relationship with my body and food I WILL die of this. The first step for me was to start to work on forgiveness. I had to forgive myself for taking on the BS society, media, etc. said to me and hating what I looked like because I didn't "fit in". The next step was harder... forgiving everyone else who told me and still tells me that I am not acceptable. Now that I'm "old" (52) I can never belong in the imaginary group of beautiful people. Why imaginary? BECAUSE NO ONE - not even the people who seem to belong FEELS like they BELONG there!!! If they say they do they are probably lying - at least a bit. Either we are all beautiful or none of us are. A friend of mine wrote a song about this... it's called Loving Ourselves Into Love. Being a singer, I couldn't even sing the song for a very long time because I'd cry every time I tried to sing it. Eventually, I was able to sing it for others and I got it recorded last year. If you want to listen to it search on KIVA and Loving Ourselves and you should find the song on the CDBABY website. Please do take care of yourselves and do what you can to move forward in your healing. Thanks for reading. Good luck to us all.
A lot of me just looks really weird. im not a good mom i get so mad then feel bad. i feel bad for wanting to leave my boyfriend even though he hurt me cheating, so i still stay. how do i feel bad for him? hes so mean
@Sad Girl Get out of there girl, you can do it, and there is someone waiting out there who can make you feel good things instead of bad ones.
I started having affairs 2 years ago because I feel worthless and am desperate for affection even though I know it's not real love and it's not as fulfilling - it's a temporary cure for my ailment. If I start to have feelings for someone I'm sleeping with I sabotage it because I can't have anyone getting too close. My boyfriend of 9 years started sleeping on the couch 5 years ago after our second child was born. I know he resents me for having children because now he has to be responsible. He could just leave and let me find happiness with someone else who would take me and the children happily but I know he doesn't want to look bad to friends and family or be the guy who ditched his family because he hated the responsibility. So instead we all live together miserably. Perfectly, imperfect. He acts like he doesn't know of the affairs but I think he just lets me do it. Which hurts more. I believe in God, I feel ugly inside - I used to be wholesome and have high moral standards. Now I am amoral and sinful. Black inside, rotting to the core - I have become the woman that I hate in the process of searching for a filler for the hole in my heart. Sadly, everything I do leaves me more empty but I can't stop. I need this to feel anything. Sometimes I wonder if I really care about anything anymore or if it's just a charade. I used to be motivated, driven, full of heart - no one could tell me I couldn't accomplish something. Now I'm the one telling myself I can't accomplish anything. I feel like I have no direction, no plan, no will power - nothing to work for. He will never leave, I will never be happy and this is all there is. I used to judge woman like me so harshly, but now I know... now I know why you need this. I know why you do this, and I know why you can't stop - because I can't stop. It's all I have that makes me feel anything.
@ConfusedHearts I know how you feel and what you are feeling. HUGS you are not alone. I was there for 2 years.
@ConfusedHearts I could give you sympathy if you didn't cheat. That's SO FUCKED UP and you should genuinely feel shame for your actions because they are wrong. Get out of there, pronto, but come clean first because he has a right to know. No wonder you feel so ugly (I'm not supporting this mindset, only explaining it), your actions are as ugly as they get. Come clean, break up and move on with your life. Cheating is NEVER OK, period. It's wrong to blame him and claim he knows about the affairs, that's your attempt to justify your weak, disloyal behavior. If you are not getting what you need from your relationship you have a right to leave (or create whatever changes are necessary), but cheating is unforgivable in my book and so long as you behave that way you will deserve every inch of misery you experience.
Your post suggests that this stuff all happened to you without your consent. It did not. We are all masters of our own destiny, unless we choose not to be. Your situation is a culmination of your poor choices, and by making new, better choices you can have a new situation. I'm not trying to shit on you, I'm trying to give you a level of honesty you will sorely need if you're going to wake up from this delusional mindset you've trapped yourself in. Anyone can be redeemed, once they take responsibilty for their wrongs and agree to do right in the future.
This "I'm too afraid to leave but I will let another man stick his dick in me as often as possible to cope" attitude you have is disgusting and makes it hard to sympathize with you because what you're doing is reprehensible. There is no excuse for lying or cheating, period, and when you learn to live your life by that standard of accountability instead of justifying your behavior and wallowing in this victim mentality then perhaps you will find contentment again. You have a hole inside because you've helped to create a hole inside, it takes two to tango, it's not all your man's fault. Here's a quote for you: "When I lost my excuses I found my success." You said you "can't stop." Why? Do you not control the motor functions of your own body? Are you not in control of your mind and your thoughts? Stop lying to yourself and learn to take responsibility for your actions, then your whole life will change. Sorry to be harsh (it's not something I normally do), but you need to hear this cold hard dose of reality.
@ConfusedHearts Hello there, I want to tell you that your story is touching me and I understand why you might feel the way you do however this person you once were is still in there you need to nurture her back to life... Please leave if not for you, at least for the sake of your children. Children know, feel everything that i going en in an unconscious way and this is not the mssage you wnt o give them about love...You have the choiceto leave if h won't do it. Loads of love and I hope you will do what ibest for you and your children. You CAN DO IT !!!
@ConfusedHearts - if you can't work it out and he won't leave, then you leave. I know this is much easier said than done, but what you are doing now is so hard too - on you, him, AND your children, and is slowly eating away at you. You can both be responsible, even if you can't be together. One saying I read recently on a church's billboard is 'Pray the Hardest when it's Hardest to Pray'. God hears you, cries with you, and will light your path, even on the darkest ones. I will pray for you too <3
@ShortySmallz you, my friend, have not helped her situation at all, and should be ashamed for posting something as cruel and rude as this. See where this 'Perfection' problem comes from? Judgements exactly like that.