Yesterday I opened my door and a flyer fell to the ground that started out, “Hello, my name is Adela. I am a housekeeper of quality and experience. By means of this letter, I would like to offer you my cleaning services.”
I don’t need cleaning services, I thought to myself. My house is generally pretty clean. In fact, I’d say it’s usually spotless. I wadded the paper and tossed it toward the waste can, where it bounced off the side and landed in a scattered assortment of garbage that also never made it inside.
As I started walking away, I remembered something that had shocked me the night before. I had been laying with my face against the carpet in my home office, and as I looked across the floor I saw all sorts of nasty dog hair, loose debris, and general grossness. And, just as that memory recapped itself, I winced as my foot crunched something old and stale. I’m sure you know the feeling. I looked at the bottom of my foot and found a pulverized Fruit Loop.
As I looked around my house, it looked neat. It looked tidy. It looked clean. I really didn’t see anything in need of tidying, let alone a “housekeeper of quality and experience”. Then, thinking about the Fruit Loop, I remember something I’ve heard multiple times from multiple women: “guys can’t see dirt”. Not possible, I thought, but I grabbed the broom to test the theory’s soundness.
Ten minutes later, this is the pile I had swept up:
I was thoroughly disgusted to say the least. I thought the floor was more or less clean. So, I decided to take it even further with the theory, and moved on to vacuuming. I first emptied the canister in order to accurately measure the amount of accumulation from a single pass through my home. Twenty minutes later, this is what the canister looked like:
Full. Completely… jam… packed… full. This was crap pulled and scraped from a floor that I thought was clean. I certainly hadn’t planned on vacuuming any time soon.
And then I knew. I needed Adela. I scooped up the crumpled flyer and saved her number into my phone.
Turns out guys really can’t see dirt.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, what’s your experience with guys and dirt? I’d love your comments.