Yesterday, I offered you the chance to ask any questions you wanted about me or Single Dad Laughing. Needless to say, you came up with some doozies. Here are the answers to a bunch of them, in random order. Almost 250 of them came through, sorry I couldn’t get to all of them.
What happened with your first wife? What happened with your second wife? Why did you get divorced?
These are the number one questions I’ve been asked since I started Single Dad Laughing. In fact, one of the number one search terms that people type in on Google after visiting my site is Why is Dan Pearce Divorced? Let me ask you this, and I’m asking honestly. Why does it matter?
There is no simple answer, so instead I’ll tell you a simple story. Once upon a time, two people fell in love and got married. They then did a lot of things wrong. They then got divorced. The end.
And guess what, it wasn’t all my exes’ fault. I did a lot of things wrong in both marriages. I went about many things the wrong way. I very much had my part in all of it, and I’ll never pretend otherwise.
Do you not see? It is my failures that have made me who I am today and have helped me be able to share the things I’ve shared on Single Dad Laughing. It’s not a lifetime of correct choices and being the perfect guy. What I share with you on Single Dad Laughing is not wisdom that comes from anything but very hard lessons learned. Everything I have shared is something that has pushed its way through broken hearts and broken dreams. Everything I have shared is simply something I have come to believe or understand after trying to figure out why my life kept falling apart.
Life IS a fairy tale. In fairy tales, happily ever after doesn’t happen until after a lot of other crud happens first. Think about that. Lots of bad relationships. Lots of bad events. Lots of bad crap. It’s only after all of it’s been overcome that the characters in the fairy tales get everything they ever wanted.
That’s all I can really say about it. I love both of those women dearly, and always will. Both women are beautiful. Both women are wonderful. After the dust settled, both women are my friends. My second wife had a daughter of her own that she took with her. I am still incredibly broken over that loss. I don’t like to talk about it because it’s too painful and too personal. I don’t know if that hole can ever be patched.
Would you like to get married someday and have more kids?
100% yes to marriage. If it’s ever 100% the right thing to do. The kid question is impossible to answer. It’s not about wanting more kids. It’s about making an appropriate decision with my spouse when the time comes.
Are you Mormon?
Are you dating anyone? Will you meet me for coffee? Will you date me? Will you marry me?
You all make me laugh. You also make me feel loved and wanted. I really appreciate all of your awesome senses of humor. It makes the heavier questions easier, that’s for sure.
As far as whether or not I’m dating somebody… hmmm… I’ll keep that a secret for now.
Do you have a deep and personal stance on the mullet?
Yes. I think it is the sexiest haircut ever.
It seems like you take a lot of polls, but you don’t often comment on them or write about them. How come?
Most of the time it’s because I’m just curious what others think. Generally I think that the results of the poll are just as powerful as anything I could write, so why expound on them?
Why do you go by the name Dan on here?
I was named Tony after my father, and have gone by Dan or Danny my entire life (middle name). On the Price is Right they required you to use your legal name.
What does Noah’s mom think about your recent blog fame?
Good question, so I asked her, and this was her reply: “I couldn’t be more thrilled for you. I am sincerely thankful for how respectful you have been to everyone in our BIG, HAPPY family as you have written, and happy to see that people are recognizing your talents!”
Honestly though, she has been nothing but an awesome source of support for it. She reads it every day, and she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders in it.
Do you foresee/intend on letting Noah write guest posts with you when/as he gets older?
I’d never thought about it. I’ll let him write one right now. “jkhdcijnj ojo9lokmn mk nkml,kopoksk”
I asked him what he wrote, he said popcorn, pirate, poop. He did learn the letter P in school today.
Have you been contacted by the Ellen or Oprah show yet?
I noticed the answer in your FAQs section changed from no to yes on whether you had an agent or a publisher. Will you tell us more about that?
Sure. I was contacted by several agents and I ended up with a pretty awesome one. We’re working on my first book right now.
I saw you at the Park the other day playing with Noah and I wanted to say hi, but I was afraid you’d think I was crazy. Does it bug you if people come talk to you when you’re out?
Please do come say hi next time. I love talking to my readers. It’ll never bug me.
In one of your blogs you talked about Noah’s “other Dad”. Was it hard for you to accept that another man would be involved in his life and if so how did you overcome that feeling?
That was never hard for me. I don’t believe you can have too many people love your child. I’ve known since the day I met him that he was a good man.
Why have you been divorced twice? Are you not the cool and understanding guy you claim to be?
Busted. You got me. Please don’t tell anyone.
Do you worry that when Noah gets older he will be resentful that you shared so much of his and your life with the world?
No, I don’t.
Believe me when I say that 97% of our lives is never shared. You may also have noticed that the more popular the blog gets, the less I blog specifically about Noah. It’s the protective papa bear coming out in me.
What have you learned about people since starting SDL?
Good question. The number one thing I’ve learned is that literally anybody can be beautiful. That really is the most profound thing I’ve learned. I’ve also learned that the world is full of people trying to rise above the everyday. It’s full of people doing their best. It’s full of happy people. It’s full of hurt people. It’s full of passionate people.
What is your biggest pet peeve that has to do with your followers and/or their comments?
Based on countless emails I’ve received, I’ve learned that a great many people are scared to share their opinions or support for certain of my messages for fear of the masses attacking them. I’ve learned that a lot of people decide whether or not to share one of my posts based on the first page of comments. If those comments are positive, they’re comfortable sharing it. If there are negative mixed in, they often aren’t. They let one or two negative voices stop them from sharing a message that they know might benefit others. It was this very thing that made me start writing the post The Parable of the First Responder. Even though the message evolved and covered much more, it still fundamentally carries that truth. People need to take action when they feel or know something is right or good, regardless of what the voices around them are saying. I can always tell when that “fear to act” sets in because instead of getting comments and people sharing it, I get a hundred emails that day telling me that they secretly support my message. Emails are great, but instead be the person who shouts out “DO SOMETHING”. Silence the angry man.
What is your favorite kids movie that you watch with Noah?
Hands down it’s How to Train Your Dragon. I think it is the most incredible animated movie ever made. The several messages it carries are deep. The message it delivers against bullying is exactly what we have been discussing here. The messages about staying true to yourself and going against the norm when the norm is wrong are poignant. And perhaps, one of the biggest reasons I love this movie is because I see myself in Hiccup. I see the story of me and Single Dad Laughing. I won’t lie, I’ve cried a few times during that movie.
If all the M&M’s in the world were to disappear and you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you eat?
Ummm… definitely Alaskan King Crab.
What’s the color of your toothbrush? Did you have to go check in order to answer that question?
It’s been so long since I used it I have no idea. It’s probably green from the fuzz growing on it.
What are your thoughts on pretzel M&M’s?
Definitely awesome. They’re ten times better frozen.
So what do you do with all those M&M’s being sent to you?
I’ve been throwing them into a big stockpile on my guest bed. I’ve got tons that have come in recently, but I haven’t had the chance to add them to the blogroll yet. My goal is to get a mountain so big that I attract free media attention. 🙂 I have a good start. We’re at more than 100 lbs.
Boxers or Briefs?
Boxer briefs. Supportive, yet comfortable.
What was your parting gift on The Price Is Right?
A bunch of little porcelain teddy bears. I know… awesome.
Since you quit your job, how do you make money?
Good question. Right now, I’m not. I saved up enough cash to get me through the end of the year. Everything will line up after that. Everything already is. I’ve got several speaking gigs lined up for next year. I’ve been approached by many people wanting me to be part of their projects. I’ll have the book that I’m writing. I’m not worried about it.
What is your favorite post you’ve written and why?
That’s a toughie. I’d say the most significant for me was actually My Dancing Black Duck, which was really a complete re-write of Before the Number Changes. Together, they were something I wrote for me, much more than they were for you.
What is your favorite thing that you do with Noah? What is his favorite activity to do with you?
Our favorite game is one we call “The blanket game”. I wrap Noah up inside of a big blanket blanket, carry him to some random place in the house and have him count to ten. He gets out of the blanket and comes to find me.
How much do you talk to Noah about this blog?
Noah is three. He just learned the letter P. I think the concept of a blog is a little much at that age.
Have you ever considered auctioning yourself off for charity? As in a date with you?
Hmmm… nope. But if any charity is that hard up for the five bucks they’d get out of me, I’ll just send ’em the cash.
What are you afraid of? What do you really cook for dinner? Favorite movie? Favorite book? What’s in your CD player right now?
I’m afraid of enclosed spaces. I’m also afraid of other people’s boogers. In fact, they paralyze me. I really don’t cook very often for dinner. I’m a bachelor. My favorite movie is How to Train Your Dragon. My favorite grown-up movie is Les Miserables with Liam Neeson. My favorite book is How to Win Friends and Influence People. In my CD player right now is Christina Aguilera’s Greatest Hits.
What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
I once toilet papered an entire street with my brother. I’m talking more than 300 rolls of toilet paper. It was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
If SDL went away tomorrow (for whatever reason), what would your next endeavor be?
If Single Dad Laughing went away tomorrow, I would sleep in and worry about it then. Tomorrow always takes care of itself. No use worrying about it today.
How did you REALLY get Single Dad Laughing so big so fast? I could definitely use some pointers.
I didn’t do it. That’s the truth. You did it. All of you did it. Every time you shared something, it brought more people.
And, one more before I completely bore you to tears: So Dan….let me ask you this, since your Smarties in the US are not the chocolaty goodness of our Smarties have you ever tried Canadian Smarties and if not where can I send you some?
Heck yeah, I’d love to try your Canadian Smarties. The address is on the M&M Blogroll page. Can a man ever have too much chocolate?
According to my urologist, yes. A man can have too much chocolate. In fact, it’s too much chocolate that gives me kidney stones. He looked at me and said, “I’d suggest you never eat chocolate again.” I looked at him and said, “I’d pass a thousand kidney stones before I give that up.”
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, do you have questions about the answers? I’d love to hear them!