Have you ever been sitting on your sofa, staring blankly at the “friends” sitting across from you, wondering when the heck are they going to leave?
With me, there hits a point at night when my bed becomes very important to me. The talking, joking, laughing, and story telling that was fine moments before becomes cumbersome, and each tick of the clock brings another jump in my level of irritation.
As my eyes fill with blood, I begin dropping hints. They start subtle and escalate to blatant. Eventually, most friends pick up on those hints and escort themselves to the door. Others, somehow, do not. Or choose not to. Either way, they park themselves on that dang couch, wedging their still very happy and very awake behinds between me and a good night’s rest.
Well, I’ve developed a trick to get them out of there without resorting to rudeness. I’m going to warn you right now, it takes guts. I also can’t promise you that it works every time. Some friends, for some reason, just won’t get that you want them to leave until you finally put your hand on their shoulder, slap them with the next morning’s newspaper, and say, “dude, the sun just came up. Go the heck home.”
Here’s the trick. Do what they do in supermarkets. Start turning off lights, one at a time.
Think about it. The store needs you to leave so that they can close shop. They also need to keep from making you feel unwanted because they would like you to come back. Those are both important goals to consider when giving a friend the boot. Turning off one light at a time in a supermarket warns the shopper that if they don’t hurry, they’ll be wheeling around their edibles in pitch blackness. Turning off one light at a time in your home warns the loiterer that the punchline of their next joke might also be given in pitch blackness.
So, I literally just stand up and when my lingering friend takes a breath, I flip off a light. I then let them keep talking, wait for another pause, and then flip off another light. The house darkens in a hurry.
It generally ends like this: “Ummm… are you turning off lights so that I’ll leave?” I answer them, “we actually closed 30 minutes ago.” We laugh, hug, and say goodbye until next time.
Sometimes it ends like this: “Dan, are you still here? I can’t see anything. Dan? Dan? Hmmm… Anyway, I was at the mall last week, and this girl came up to me and…”
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, what’s your trick to getting late night visitors out the door?
If you liked this post, you'll probably love these...
Why I hate bowling
Why do I hate bowling? Let me count the ways. Wouldn't you hate it if every time you went bowling, everybody made fun of you the ent...
Why do I hate bowling? Let me count the ways. Wouldn't you hate it if every time you went bowling, everybody made fun of you the ent...
Who the heck is Justin Bieber?
The other night I was at Barnes & Noble with Tweni doing some research for my book. We passed by the biography section and I sa...
The other night I was at Barnes & Noble with Tweni doing some research for my book. We passed by the biography section and I sa...
When my child is sick
I think that one of my least favorite times as a parent, and ironically one of my favorite times as a parent, are those times when Noah...
I think that one of my least favorite times as a parent, and ironically one of my favorite times as a parent, are those times when Noah...
Murder... There's Nothing Funny About It.
Just as a warning, if you don't have a seriously sick and twisted sense of humor like I sometimes do, you may want to skip today's post...
Just as a warning, if you don't have a seriously sick and twisted sense of humor like I sometimes do, you may want to skip today's post...
Sarah Mickalson
I love my sleep too and am rarely a night owl. I usually just tell them im going to bed but they are welcome to stay but the baby might wake them up or my oldest might scare them sleepwalking....etc.there usually out the door by then!
I tell my friends its past my bed time...or another truth, got to get up early with Joshoua..
i cant help but yawn constantly when im tired so that usually gets people moving, but i find popping out and putting your pj's on is a good hint !
When friends come to my house I'm expecting them to stay late and I hope they'll be wide awake and ready to have fun. I'm usually disappointed when they get tired before I do. It's impossible to know what other people's agendas are without direct communication. It's also not nice to imply one agenda and then not let people know when your agenda has changed i.e. you've suddenly hit a wall (not your's personally). Most of us don't do these things on purpose and most of us don't have the same interpretations of body language, hints and facial expression as others do. We misread each other all the time. For example: if one person sees another lean back into the sofa, put his feet up on the ottoman pick up a throw pillow and start cuddling it, that person might assume that the other is tired, or he may assume that the other is settling in for some good conversation, or that he has developed a stomach ache. Similarly, if the lights are going out a guest might assume that his host is being energy-conscious, become very excited by seeing that he and his host share the value of conservation and want engage longer and more energetically to celebrate this meeting of the minds! Misunderstandings can develop even between the closest of friends when communication is based in hints and assumptions, even if it is covered up by a hug and a kiss in the moment.
Hum... my "trick" is to tell them I'm tired and let's continue this another time... I've given up "hinting" at things (at least with friends!) years ago... We just talk to each other, it's much simpler and less tiresome... :)
MelissaWhite
One could always use the college line, "I hate to kick you out but..."
Mouse
I don't think it is rude to tell someone you are tired & want to go to bed, or even that you really need a few minutes to yourself at the end of the day.
Really, I consider it rude to let people sit there thinking they are still wanted & everything is going great, when in reality you just want them to leave!
Be honest. It prevents the need to come up with clever ways to do things.
Personally, I avoid people that I can't trust to just tell me the truth. I don't want to have to worry about whether I'm overstaying my welcome, or whether someone really wants to do something or they are just being "polite", etc. It's an a distraction & uncomfortable. It prevents me from really relaxing & enjoying the company & time.
HELP ! a much bigger problem ! just learned that a "neighbor" of my brother's is at his house every single day- all day long until 11pm at night. At first I thought it was an odd coincidence that he was always there when I visited, but I just learned from my niece that he is there every day- all day long until 11pm.....apparently he does not have a wife or kids but does have siblings in the area. He does not have a job and is on dissability.....I get the feeling my brother feels sorry for him How do you get such a person to back out of your life without being rude -? He also seems like an alcoholic since he always has a beer in his hand- ..This person is always courteous, quiet, and makes himself useful like doing dishes and yardwork.......I am really concerned about this situation bec my brother needs private family time and it can't be healthy for this person to be so attached to and dependent on my brother's family- I want to ask my brother about the situation soon , but Im hoping to have some suggestions for him if this guy really is an unwelcomed permanent guest .....???????-
Huh.
When I need the group to go home, I announce, "Hey guys, I love you all and it has been a great evening. Now get out."
Of course, it's all in the delivery. I do this with a tired smile and a shooing motion. All the people I've said this to have come back, and no one has been offended. Sometimes I play it softer ("Go home, so I can snuggle with my honey!" "All right, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.")
I believe in being direct, I guess.
On the other hand, the lights thing is brilliant. Oddly, I bet I've done this at the end of a party before. If things go late, I do tend to turn off the lights in rooms that are not being used, and start putting stuff away.
Huh.
My brother does that!!! I also blame it on the "baby" HA!!!
I usually just go to bed and leave them in the living room. haha.
Conversation from Facebook
Kimberly Lyons Wood
We have some friends that only leave if there is no food left to eat and help themselves to what is in our pantry so we started hiding our food before they got there. Then my hubby would just excuse himself and go to bed and I just say I have to get up early with our 4 girls and walk to the door and open it. I figure they have no manners or boundaries so why should I. Lol
Amanda Muxlow Freeman
ROFLMBO!!!!!! :~) I needed that smile this morning... Thank-You :~)
Brian Mesa
I think being honest and open is the best policy, so I politely say it's time to throw everyone out and proceed with the departures.
Lancelot Knight
Ask them who's house is it, they respond mine I say go find yours I'm crashing.. If they dont leave I crash anyways lol..
Beth Arenas
Family is sometimes worse. :-{
Kevin Jones
Sounds like the going to bed wins.
Charlotte Anne Fox
great idea - will have to try it if/when I need it!
Jim Vickers
Suggest going for a walk.
Karen Lynema
Once my friend was starting to act kind of antsy like I should get going...she forgot she was giving me a ride home! ;)
Elizabeth Lewis
I just go, hey I'm so glad we had a chance to hang out andI hate to do it but I'm going to have to kick you so that I can....and than mention getting some rest, running an errand etc.
Melissa Halbert Davis Bushong
My husband just goes to bed and leaves me up to keep entertaining. Grrr!
Jeann Louise Combs
Super great idea- wish I had thought of it a long time ago. but it doesn't work if they are staying at your house. They just go turn on more lights somewhere else.
Michelle Rigby
Um I just tell my friends that I am tired and would like to go to bed, so let's wrap things up.
Hopper Stone
Usually putting on Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here" was the sign that it was time to pass out or time to leave.
Sky Weiler
Ask them to help you move furniture or paint the living room
Pam Thomas Parker
I had a good friend fall asleep on my couch watching a movie. The movie was over, I turned everything off, got myself ready for bed, went back out and gently touched her shoulder saying "I am going to bed. You are welcome to stay on the couch or go home - just lock the door behind you." She got up and left shortly there after.
Wilda Komora
I just go to bed and ignore whatever else is going on in my house.
Leah Lindell Morgan
Just kick your friends out earlier. Must be lack of sleep ;)
Lori Brett
Hmmmmm, I' m usually the last one to leave......what would get me to leave? Yawning for sure. if you are a true friend end the conversation and briefly plan a next get together.
Aura Andrea Velasquez
You can say "wow it's soooo late... You guys must be tired, wanna do something tomorrow?"
Pamela Haithcoat Wagner
I have a friend who gets out the vacuum and starts running it.
Heather Young
I've done the same thing as described in this blog post - totally works!
Robert McAllister
I have it easy: I can just say "Well, it's bedtime. GTFO." We're old enough, with kids, we all understand.
Chris Horne
I usually go get a pillow and a blanket and set it on the couch. When they ask what its for, I say "well you are spending the night, right?" Not rude, and gets the point across. As far as the ine in the middle of the day, I say "Ok, I have to go do such n such, you riding with me?" Once again, not rude, and the point is usually well taken.
Brooke Hogan Patterson
I've gotten to the point when it was 4am, I had cleaned the whole house from the party (while this friend watched me pick it all up), turned off all the lights, and stood with them at the front door with my hand on the knob, and they still stood there and tried to talk to me for 30 more minutes! I finally said, "I am going to go to bed, feel free to sleep on the couch if you would like".
Carol Pressnall Leek
Be honest. Tell them you are tired and need to get to bed. Not that hard to do.
Machelle Trail
yes...after every NASCAR party that i have. i'm pretty blunt, "welp...race is over and so is the party! drive safely!" ha!! my friends seem to love me in spite of myself! :)
Kristy Spanjol Gaconnier
Start cleaning the kitchen. Runs them off every time.
Darlene C. Matthews
Oh, darn it's so late and I still have to..... FILL IN THAT BLaNK.
Michael Maldonado
i just say "get out.. its my bed time"... (my friends know me like that)
Ian Brumberger
Get naked. One of two things will happen. Either way, you win,
Julie Presley
What about when it's the middle of the day and they've been there for hours??
Natalie Dunbar
My friend's dad would disappear from the living room (or wherever company was assemble) for a short time and then come back into the room wearing his pajamas. He wouldn't say a word, but would just sit back down as though nothing was wrong.
Jennifer Webb
this has happened and I say, "I'm going to bed, and if you decide to sleep on the couch, so be it, and turn off the lights" simple as that. ;)
Tupelo Honey
I've been known to disappear and just go to bed. I figure, if THEY are being rude and not leaving, I'll be rude and just go to bed or fall asleep. :/
Jocelyn Colette Pintar
No, usually I am the one that won't leave.
Single Dad Laughing
Oh man, I've been misspelling a few words lately here on the FB page. Either my brain is fried or I need to cinch it up a little! :)
Sharon Henderson
you say... (as you're yawning...) wow.. I better get to bed so you guys can go home!
Like SDL on Facebook!
I'd tell them to stay as long as they want, but to lock up and clean up; that I'm going to bed. I don't think they would want to stay for those chores.
- spam
- offensive
- disagree
- off topic
Like