As you know, at Single Dad Laughing we sometimes talk about letting go of “Perfection” and what it means to really love yourself. We’ve debated how healthy it is for men to place unfair expectations on women (particularly in the looks department), and we’ve also found ourselves lost in discussion about what “normal” even is.
Over the past couple months, I have repeatedly found myself deep in conversation with family members, friends, and SDL followers about how all of these things tie together, what it means for me personally, and what I truly and personally believe.
One of the more interesting conversations I’ve had was with my dad. I had a date lined up with a girl that I had recently become acquainted with. My dad knew this girl as well, and when he found out I had asked her out, he jokingly said, “Dan, you can’t take a girl like that out on a date. All your readers will think you’re a phony!” I took it in the good humor that he intended, but it did give me lots to think about. It’s made me ponder three things. First, is it wrong to want beautiful? Second, what is beautiful? And third, should I be concerned about what my followers will think when it comes to the girls I date?
So, first question. Is it wrong to want beautiful? Dear God, I hope not. I would hope that it goes without saying that you must be physically attracted to any person you choose to pursue romantically. I’m going to go out on a dangerous limb here, and say that those women who feel a “good man” shouldn’t be attracted to certain types of beauty are simply women who don’t feel attractive to anyone themselves. They feel that they could never be that woman. And so, for a “good man” to be attracted to a woman “like that”, makes them feel rejected. And nobody likes feeling rejected.
Which brings me to the second question, and probably the trickiest of the three. What is beautiful?
There are more than 3 billion women on this planet. There are more than 3 billion men. Every single one of them have a different genetic mark-up (with the exception of identical twins and clones). Every single one of them have lived a different life. Every single one of them has been surrounded by different cultures, foods, struggles, joys, events, and moments in their lives. Every single one of them looks completely different than anyone else. Thank God.
If there is one thing I have come to believe over the years, it’s the notion that there really is somebody for everybody. Every single person is going to look at beauty from a different angle. Every single person is going to be attracted to certain features and characteristics that are completely different than the next person. And… there isn’t a person on earth that everybody on earth finds attractive.
Take the sexiest people of Hollywood, for example. Brad Pitt. He’s somebody I’ve heard almost every woman swoon over. I’ve also heard more than one woman state that they don’t find him all that attractive. The same goes for Tom Cruise, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, and any other famous naughty hotty. There isn’t a single one of them that everybody on earth finds attractive.
The same goes for you. There are people out there that will look at you and think, she is really not that attractive at all, or I hope he has a nice personality because he’s a little more than lacking in the looks department. There are also plenty of people out there that will look at you and think, damn. She is a really gorgeous woman, or damn. That guy is hotter than Colin Farrell. I don’t have to know you or see you to know that’s true, because it’s true of every person on this big place we call earth.
And guess what. The same goes for me. I have proof. These are two emails I received two days ago, both on the same day. In fact, it was these two emails that got me to finally write this post.
Email #1: “You are so sexy you drive me crazy. I can’t stop thinking about how hot you are, and it’s going to get me in trouble.”
Email #2: “To be honest, I don’t see what the big deal is about you. You look like a pretty average Joe to me, nothing really special in the looks department.”
Why somebody would feel the need to write and tell me they’re not attracted to me is beyond my ability to understand, but they did, and it left me laughing. A+ for honesty. F- for awesomeness.
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