So, you want the truth about Single Dad Laughing? Here it is. I have no clue what I’m doing in the blogging world.
Every day I sit down at my computer. Every day I think to myself, what do I have to say? Every day I start writing. And every day I post something.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve done since the beginning.
And… today, I broke down. I lost it.
Why? Because in the process of doing what I do every day, I’ve been sucked into the disease called “Perfection” again, but this time it’s via Single Dad Laughing.
Do you remember this line from the Perfection piece? “Perfection” is a man who everybody heralds as perfect, and inside he is screaming to be seen as the faulty human being that he always has been. Because to no longer be ‘the perfect one’, that would be freeing.”
I am not a perfect dad.
I am not a perfect man.
I certainly wasn’t a perfect husband.
And it’s getting to the point where I feel that I’m not allowed to be imperfect around here anymore.
So here’s a dose of how perfect I’m not, because I have to bust myself out of this before the disease called “Perfection” takes over around here.
Today. I haven’t bathed or showered. I’ve had no motivation. I’ve got an ear infection, and I’ve let that stop me from getting any work done. I rolled my eyes and did the eternal jabber gesture with my hand while a salesman talked on the phone. When he finally took a breath, I was less than kind to him.
Yesterday. I Googled somebody that I admired trying to find dirt on them. I looked at the photo for my post and only saw fat. I made a snide remark about somebody’s bad haircut.
In the past week. I lied to a good friend. I was selfish and petty over some silly things with people I love. I gossiped about a good person behind their back. I ate way too much junk food. I spent money I didn’t have on something I didn’t need. I published a post (Another day in Danoah’s Inbox) that might have hurt some people. I typed out an extremely ugly and vicious reply to someone who sent me something ugly and vicious.
In the past month. I have closed off my heart when love was freely offered. I have looked at people and found myself judging them based on looks or lifestyle. I have covered up a mistake that was made so that others wouldn’t know I made it. I have have judged a man unfairly whom I didn’t know from Adam.
But at the end of the day, I’ve done my best to be a good person.
Today. I reached out to a few other parent bloggers and tried to be a better part of the blogger community. I fixed myself a healthy breakfast even though I wanted to skip it. And, I’m going to still get ready for the day, even though it’s pretty much shot.
Yesterday. I took Noah to IHOP just to spend quality time with him. I published a post (Real Dads Don’t Leave) even though I didn’t want to because I knew that as truthful and personal and as well received as it might be, it would fill my inbox with more hate mail. I invited a friend over even though I wanted to barricade myself from the world for the evening.
In the past week, I’ve done some more great things.
In the past month I’ve done a lot of great things.
And guess what? In the next week, the next month, and the next year, I’m going to do even more great things.
But I’m also going to screw up. Again, and again, and again. I hope you’re okay with that.
Because I can’t walk on pins and needles around here. And I don’t want you to all have to either.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, would you do me a favor and tell me how perfect you weren’t today? It’d be nice to feel like we’re all in the same imperfect boat.