Why do I hate bowling? Let me count the ways.
Wouldn’t you hate it if every time you went bowling, everybody made fun of you the entire time? Wouldn’t you hate bowling if every time you went, people couldn’t stop laughing each and every time you let go of the ball? Wouldn’t you hate bowling if the people in the lanes next to you stared you down and either smirked at you or grimaced at you?
Ugh. I don’t really hate bowling. In fact, I love bowling. I go several times each year. Noah loves it too. When it’s his turn, he always insists on lugging his 6 lb. ball over to the foul line and rolling it down the lane without Dad’s help. The offer of assistance is just plain offensive to someone who is as big a big boy as he is. After he lets go, we all sit back for 20 minutes while his ball creeps impossibly slow toward the pins. Of course, if even one pin tips, everybody jumps and whoops and hollers about how awesome he is.
There’s a lot to love about bowling. The bowling alley food is disgustingly delicious. The shoes are super sexy. The computer animations are better than watching Saturday morning cartoons.
So with all that awesomeness, why do I hate it? As I already mentioned… People laugh at me. People stare. Bowling alley workers constantly come and ask me to stop. It gets really old, really fast.
You see, I have a little problem when I bowl.
The day before Thanksgiving I went bowling with my family, and nothing was different. People were laughing. People were staring. I demanded, as I usually do, that I had no control over this problem, and that it wasn’t really that bad. As usual, everybody chimed back that it was indeed that bad. In frustration, I told my brother to take a picture of my little problem. And here it is. Go ahead, get your laughs in too.
And there you have it. I throw the bowling ball like a softball. Don’t ask me why. All I know is that I can’t not do it. Every single throw, every single time, even when I’m consciously making an effort not to do it.
Nobody believes me that I can’t control it. Nobody believes me that I’m really trying not to do it. Nobody believes me that I’m not doing it just to get laughs.
And that is why I hate bowling. As much as I love it, I hate it.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, what quirks do you have that you can’t seem to control no matter how hard you try?
Before finishing the paragraph above your photo my eyes already move to the photo and boy did they light up! HAHA! I laugh because I'm horrible at bowling (especially with arthritis in my hands..) I'm also pretty sure I've definitely flung the ball in the air and walked back with a jolly red face of embarrassment. Good for you for still enjoying the sport <3
i was in tae kwon do for nine years. and i have extremely high arches on my feet! when we were in class or at tournaments when i did forms and had to hold a side kick i got the funniest looks. my leg goes straight into my foot. it doesn't look like and apendage off of the leg. its weird i guess you'd have to see it to understand.
Don't feel bad, Kekah. Down here in Arkansas, we all make two or three-syllable words out of one syllable words. Take the word belt for instance. Definitely a two syllable word here, bay elt. I have to admit, I got tickled when I look at the pic of Dan tossing that ball in the air, but mostly I was thinking about what kind of dent it was going to make in the floor! We all have our little quirks and we all do things differently. Wouldn't it be dull if we all did things the same way? We have to be able to laugh at ourselves too and not take everything so seriously.
I'm totally awesome at bowling! Okay, that is a little lie. But I love it anyways. My friends are just as bad as I am...though I think more often than not I can break a hundred. BUT, my maternal grandparents were champion bowlers....so I got LOTS and LOTS of advice on how to walk, how to hold my ball, how to throw my ball, how to roll my ball (Which I'm still wondering doesn't it roll itself once I throw it?) how to make sure my form is correct, where to stand if I want it to hit a certain spot...though it certainly never hits the spot I'm aiming for 9/10 times. And so forth and so on...I learned to hate going bowling with them.....but when I'm with my friends we all laugh at each other, so that no one feels singled out. :D
And the quirk I have that I can not seem to stop....that would have nothing to do with bowling and everything to do with how I speak. I was born in Boston, but was raised in and around Indiana. People say I do not have a Hoosier accent, but I do not have any other accent that anyone can place their finger on....I say WASH not WARSH and BUSH not BOOSH....but I have a hard time saying Basketball. It tends to come out like Bey-yeah-sket ....and that is just one of many that my friends like to laugh at. I have tried very hard, listening to how others around me speak, and have tried and tried again to say basketball correctly, but I have to mis-form my mouth in order to do it and I feel dumb when I do it like that. Plus, that makes them all laugh too....so I just tell them that even though I have a few words I say differently than they might, I still speak better than most of them do! Then I laugh hysterically and maniacally while pointing at them.
Ok when I first starting reading this I thought you may be exaggerating just a *little* then as I read further I saw the picture and busted out laughing!!! You weren't exaggerating at all, were you! :)
I know what your problem bowling is. I've had that same problem. You've been getting a ball that is too light and the holes are too small for your fingers. So, use a heavier ball that has bigger holes in it and it won't "pop" off of your fingers to act like a softball. The trick is to get a ball that is a good heaviness and fits your fingers... Or you can buy your own ball, rather than rent the one of the Alley's balls and have holes drilled to fit your fingers. Hey at least you haven't nearly thrown yourself down the lane when bowling like a friend of mine's aunt has.
Funny! But I do this on purpose! I'd love to go bowling with you!!
Clearly, you bowl wiht the wrong people!
My dad throws the ball at least halfway down the lane EVERY time, that's why we call him Rocketman ;)
My dad throws the ball at least halfway down the lane EVERY time, that's why we call him Rocketman ;)
OMG! I forgot how funny that post was until I saw the picture! I can't believe how expensive bowling is now!
I'm an okay bowler but I have to bowl like jill from the tool time show and my friend bowls like fred flinstone twinkly toes and all.
I can't bowl to save my life. Not even one little bit. And I don't like the ugly shoes either. I might try it again if they had cuter shoes. ;)
I hate bowling too
I also have a love/hate relationship with bowling haha
I LOOOOVE to bowl... and my hubby often laughs at the way I bowl... my girlfriend says there's nothing wrong with my form, and that she actually wishes she had my form, though I seriously suck. I can't get to 100 while my husband and friend seriously rack up the points. Meh, well, at least I have fun! :)
I used to, but I am there to have a good time with family & friends ! But if it becomes out of control I complain to mgt. Life is way to short to worry about ignorant people ! BTW, love you & your son !
Wii bowling is the only bowling I can do without feeling like a complete loser. I can even avoid the gutters with the wii ;-)
First off... when you're in a bowling alley - (And I'm a big girl, I know this)... people look at your butt as you bowl. I hate my butt. It's a fat girl thing I guess. Or maybe just a me thing. So, when I'm bowling, if you could all just turn & look the other way, that would be great ;-) I've recently taken my 5 year old bowling... now that is fun... mostly because she thinks everything her mom does is just awesome! :-D
And Second... the gutter is a magnet for my ball. Every time.
I've always hated bowling too & I absolutely *refused* to go for many years... until we discovered {through a mini-bowling lane at Gattiland} that my babies *love* bowling... now we look for family friendly lanes, where they do not serve alcohol and they have smaller balls for little hands. I still hate it- but I love those babies
I'm the same way, I usually laugh at myself first. It is what it is, not everyone can be good at it. I hope to take my little munchkins and see if they like it, that should be fun!
I agree i hate bowling too! I suck at it and always will
ohmigosh! i've never known anyone else who did that! i call it fast pitch bowling! do you have an awesome little hop at the same time, too?
Finally thanks for the up to date post, got to love you two Noah and Daddy!
I don't see why this would be so funny, but it's also hard to believe that you can't make yourself throw the ball any other way. You do have control over your body, so physically speaking, you can make your muscles move in that way. Anyway, I'm sure it's nothing you haven't heard before, but for what it's worth, I don't think I'd be laughing at you and what's important is that you have fun.
I really should not have taken a sip of my ginger ale before scrolling down to that photo!
@KateDrewThis Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LOL, I have to admit, I've NEVER seen a ball sailing through the air like that, unless it was going backwards! Hilarious!
I've lobbed the ball a few time too, the secret is to get as low as you can and think glide as you release the ball, you want it to glide or slide down the lane. Release it just as it comes the closest to the floor, but with a flick of the wrist.. I like bowing, I suck sometimes but its fun and good exercise!
You'd hate bowling if your uncle owned a bowling alley and your entire family were excellent bowlers, except for YOU! I'm quite entertaining too. I've fallen flat on my belly with the ball still attached to my thumb and jumping up and down in the gutter while the breath was knocked out of me and I'm unable to get up because the wind was knocked out of me. Friends are no help because they are laughing so hard, they can't help you up. Oh, and the place was packed too.
Maybe you should granny bowl? Lol. I hate bowling because I suck at it so incredibly bad and everyone I go with is really good at it. Although they're all super nice about it and cheer if I manage to hit any pins at all, just like you'd do with a kid.... sigh.
Constant vigilance, friend. Constant vigilance...
Yoga was like that, at first.
I have a quirk that is more a personality trait: I'm jaded. I expect the worst from everyone, and enjoy the pleasant surprises from the few worth keeping around. I suppose that's a horrible way to be, but I find a lot of people appreciate my sarcasm for what it really is. Those who get farther than an arm's length will enjoy much brighter side.
Oh my goodness... that picture made me laugh until I was crying! That has to be the greatest bowling story I have ever heard. I hate bowling because no matter what, I always throw the ball behind me. My son does too.
My recent post You are good at what
Funny picture yes, but I know the problem. The hole for your thumb is too small so your thumb catches until gravity takes over and it pops off looking like you are throwing a softball. If you really do enjoy bowling, buy your own ball, and find a dremel tool and go to town making the thumb hole the right size for your thumb. I've always had trouble with that too. Good luck!! :-)
Ugh... I hate bowling too. Only because my parents had me in a bowling league until I was 9 or 10 (we couldn't afford "real" sports) and I eventually learned to despise it.
I remember when I was a kid, I used to think I had special psychic abilities and if I concentrated really hard I could make the bowling ball travel to precisely the right spot and get a strike (also involved some head leaning). I know. I'm awesome. lol!
When I bowl I have to take 4 steps until I release and they have to be in a certain way or I have to start over. It's weird but it works
I can't stop interrupting people. It's like my brain has a 3-second wait before the words come out my mouth, even if the other person already started talking! My husband and my 4-year-old just _hate_ it so much they get angry at me, but I don't know how to stop!
I actually cause arguments about respect and tantrumes due to this problem. How do we fix these sorts of things??
Just read this post. Lol. I have the same problem. I have actually thrown the ball and got a strike, except the strike was for the lane next to mine... NOT MY LANE! It was quite entertaining for everyone but me. Let's just say I'm not athletic... AT ALL!
I would say to slow down and pay attention to your release!
My quirk....I have to make an attempt to solve every problem that crosses my path, regardless of expertise...For instance... perhaps, you are putting your finger too deeply in the holes and keeping your wrist curled, delaying the release of the ball, until your fingers/wrist are extended by the weight of the ball (about the 2:00 position), causing the lob. Maybe, trying to straighten the wrist and conscioulsy extend/release in the 4:30 position, versus 2-3:00 would help... (by the way, troubleshooting is part of my job...)...I liked the idea from the person who said to practice by palming the ball...makes sense to me...
My husband is an incredible bowler. I am not. In high school a classmate noticed I had a 0 in every frame. I'm 32 & I still do, no matter how hard I try. Years ago, my brother tried to shoot a trick shot like my husband (one legged & throw behind the back). My hubby got a strike. My brother knocked out his other leg & fell on his butt!
I am new to your site, but you inspire me & I laugh every time I am on. Thank you!
i really like bowling but am so bad at it...even took bowling in college and did pretty good but maybe since i bowl like once a year, i lost any skills i picked up in that class (and maybe that it was like 13 years ago)...but now i have a little one so the bumpers go up, so i'm not all that bad...but let me tell you, i am freaking awesome at wii bowling, wish i could apply some of those mad skills to real bowling...
LOL!!! Oh my, that made my day!
I hate bowling too, but for a different reason. I hate bowling because I hate wearing shoes that other people have had on their feet. UGH.
My own quirks that I have that I can't control.... I rub my feet together when I am trying to fall asleep. My rough, calloused feet. It's quite sexy sounding and it drives my other half absolutely bonkers. It's a thing I have done since I was in the womb I think. I can't stop it no matter how hard I try. Oh well.
i rub my feet to as does my dad. it's weird. I can't not do it either. I actually think it's a minor form of restless leg syndrome. lol
My dad used to do that too!
I bowl with my middle finger out so i look like I am flipping everyone off, but I can't do it any other way! oh the love / hate relationship with bowling!
When I bowl, I take three steps, swing my arm and end up down on my right knee, and I stay there, in prayer until my ball gets to the end. I can't do it any other way either.
That is a great picture!! Maybe you should rent out the bowling alley so just you and Noah are there and there will be no one to laugh and point and snigger at you...? Thanks for the laugh, though!
Holy wow. That is one heck of a throw! I agree with the comment a couple up from me though; it's definitely preferable to releasing on the backswing. I no longer bowl; now that my boy is 10, he would be totally, absolutely mortified if I even thought about it in his presence. See, that's what you have to look forward to. The "lecture"... "Please, Dad and Mom, DON'T EMBARRASS ME!" Which means... don't say anything, don't laugh too loud, don't yell at ballgames. Blend into the woodwork, disappear. Please? ugh.
Bit late to this post but... When I bowl I can't help but make a lovely 'arabesque' move at the end after I release the ball. I'm sure I look absolutely ridiculous.