So, for the past month or so, I’ve been jotting down some of Noah’s more memorable quotes. Here they are for your enjoyment.

“Dad look, that gorilla has boobs.”

In reference to the dog: “Now we have to roll him up like a taco burrito.”

Dad: “Noah, do you think you’ll ever kiss a girl?”
Noah: “No way!”
Dad: “Never? Really?”
Noah: “Well, I do want to kiss one girl at Nana’s house.”
Dad: “Who’s that?”
Noah: “Nana!”

“Dad, you take this side of the sghetti, and I take this side of the sghetti, and we suck it in until we kiss.”

“My dad peed in the shower!” – In reference to… ummmm…

In reference to the ratchet straps in my truck: “Dad I can’t get my hookers to stay put.”

“This dooby-doo won’t dooby-da!”

In reference to my new computer: “Dad, that’s a pretty fancy TV.”

While looking at the picture on the Lincoln Logs box: “Daddy, it’s not making like the instructions say to make it!”

Noah: “Dad, I want B.B. to sleep in my room.”
Dad: “Maybe when he doesn’t have accidents anymore.”
Noah: “When he doesn’t pee in the house?”
Dad: “Yep.”
Noah: “I pee in the house.”
Dad: “In the toilet?”
Noah: “Nope.”
Dad: “Where then?”
Noah: “I’m not telling.”

Noah: “Dad, I don’t love you.”
Dad: “What? Why not?”
Noah: “Because I’m hungry.”

“Dad, I don’t want to dance because it could make me sick and die.”

Noah: “The bird got out?”
Dad: “Yep, and it flew and got stuck in the blinds.”
Noah: “And now it can’t see?”

“Dad get under the covers with me and let’s make some burps.”

Noah: “I want to go to the pizza pasta place.”
Dad: “Okay, what are you going to get?”
Noah: “Pizza and pasta, Dad!”

Noah: “Dad, when the snow goes bye-bye we’re gonna go fishing every day?”
Dad: “Not every day, but we’ll go a lot.”
Noah: “Yeah, and I’m gonna get my own worms.”
Dad: “Ewwww… you’re gonna touch worms?”
Noah: “Yeah, and I’m gonna put ’em in your mouth when you’re asleep.”

All in one breath: “Dad, let’s play that game where you’re a mean mouse and you’re trying to eat my neck and I am scared and it tickles so I laugh and then you chase me cause you want to eat me and you make that funny sound.”

“Skidoo skidee skidada.”

Dad: “I spy, with my little eye, something that’s…”
Noah (yelling): “PAUSE THE GAME!”

Noah: “Dad, I miss Taya” (his ex-step-sister)
Dad: “Me too, bud. Why do you miss her?”
Noah: “Because she liked to clean my room.”

Noah: “Daddy, I’m scared when it’s dark.”
Dad: “When did you start being scared of the dark?”
Noah: “Cause I wanna go play with my robot.”

I sure love that kid.

I asked his Mom if she had any to add and she sent so many that it’s going to make a great post of its own next week, so tune back in if you like hearing the profundity and depth of the world’s greatest 3-year old.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS, what are the most memorable kid quotes you’ve heard lately?