Do you know what these are?

I call them insecurity pillows. I’ve been holding one on my lap for most of my adult life, and I’ve noticed that a lot of other people do too.

From my very non-scientific studies/observations over the years, there are generally only three reasons people use them. One, they want to cover themselves up. They want to hide their bodies. They want to make sure people can’t see the parts of themselves that they’re most insecure about. Two, they feel better having a barrier between themselves and others in the room. They feel vulnerable without one. When a person feels intimidated, shy, or even scared, the natural tendency for many is to cover up the mid-section. Don’t ask me why. And three, some people just like a nice big pillow to put their plate of food on for easier access.

Why do I personally use insecurity pillows? Simple. I don’t want people noticing my bulging muffin top hanging unceremoniously over my belt-line. I don’t want them to see that the buttons on my shirt have started to strain when I sit down. I don’t want people judging me or thinking I’m fat.

I’ve noticed that the more self-conscious I become about my looks or my body, the bigger the pillow (and sometimes multiple pillows) I want to grab. Shoot. There have been times when I practically had nothing showing but my head because I covered myself with so many pillows.

A slight exaggeration. I’d usually have one less.

And to be honest, I’m not sure whether holding an insecurity pillow on your lap is unhealthy or not. Is it better to feel more comfortable so that I can enjoy the present company more? Or is it better to not put negative energy on the things I don’t like about myself?

I mean, I really don’t think anyone’s naive. Everybody knows why everybody else grabs a cushion and puts it on their lap. At least they know the surface reasons.

So, what do you think? Is it unhealthy or does it not matter, and why? And, do you do it?

When do you find yourself doing it? Perhaps if we all discuss this, we can figure out some things about insecurity pillows today. Maybe if we get enough conversation going, the government will give me a $50,000 grant to go to DisneyWorld with do extensive research with.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Thanks to my awesome friends and sibs for their sexy insecurity pillow modeling for today’s post.