So, I officially just had one of those “becoming my parents” moments.
Noah came into my bedroom while I was getting ready this morning, holding his thumb out and whimpering. “Daddy, I need a Band-Aid,” he declared as he thrust the damaged digit so close to my face that everything became immediately blurry. I pulled his hand back to a point where I could focus without making myself cross-eyed, and asked him what had happened. He replied that he had cut his finger on a toy.
“Oh no,” I commiserated, sincerely empathetic. “Let me see it.”
I began inspecting his thumb. He looked at me with squinted eyes, waiting anxiously for my empathy to escalate into pandemonium over his boo-boo. There was no blood, no scratch, no sliver, and in fact, no sign of any physical injury at all. “I don’t see anything,” I told him.
And with that, he burst into tears. “Daddy, I need a Band-Aid!” he screeched through ever-growing sobs.
“But, there’s no blood,” I reasoned with him. “Band-Aids are to help when you’re bleeding.”
His crying intensified. “Daddy, I need a Band-Aid. There is too blood. It hurts really, really, really bad.”
Suddenly I heard the very words coming out of my mouth that my parents used to use on us when we were kids. “Do you want a psychological Band-Aid for your owie? Will that make you feel better?”
He looked at me and his panicked crying immediately settled into big sniffs. “Yes, I want one of those.”
I went and pulled a Band-Aid out of the box and told him to show me where it hurt. He again pointed to a perfect little thumb, free from any and all trauma. I exposed the adhesive, wrapped it around his tiny pollex, and smiled as he began to smile. “Does that feel better?” I asked.
“Yup!” was all I heard as he counced from the room, happy as he had been before the “big incident.”
I shook my head and couldn’t help but laugh. It’s always funny to me when my parents show up unexpectedly.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Do your kids ever come to you with “owies” that don’t really exist? Do you have a similar or different method to treating them?
I know this is an old post, but I love it and I don't think this concept never gets old. Even as an adult, I continue to buy the coolest, most sparkly band aids I can find, and I apply them to my friends when necessary. It's the symbol, not the physical need that really matters. (And you can always hide messages on the gauze bit for later.)
I think your post made me need a physiological band aid. Reading it and all the comments made me miss my parents.
Most of these moments happen with my daughter when we're in the car and there's nothing to be done anyway. So I told her early on that her "icky tummy" or "owie toe" needed to rest. Sometimes it escalated to some nursery rhymes on the stereo. She now believes that rest solves most everything, even Mommy's cramps. "Ssshhhh Daddy, Mommy needs rest..." I love that kid. :)
Amazingly my kids haven't done this to me, they just put them on themselves. But I know exactly what you're talking about cause I did it as a kid. Band-aids are magical and fix everything, bruises, imaginary owies, you name it. Amazing invention band-aids.
My daughter actually seems to hate band-aids. She screams when I try to put them on legitimate injuries and has never asked for one. She's only three though, so there's still time.
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My kids always want band-aids! Long ago, I told them if it's not bleeding, they're fine, nothing a kiss won't fix. They accepted that, but as kids tend to do, they took it one step further. There is no gray in their world of boo-boos. Either it's not bleeding and it's no big deal, or it is bleeding and they're convinced their finger/arm/leg/whatever is about to fall off!
Band-aids, kisses, and hugs always seem to work. The occasional lollipop if we must treat the boo-boo with alcohol or peroxide. I will truly mourn when the day comes and my kisses are no longer effective.
We "blow away the booboo". I'll make a big show of pinching the air above the booboo and slowly pulling out the owie like an imaginary splinter Then have the child take a big breath and blow it far away. Sometimes we pretend it lands on daddy or I and then they have to take it out of us and help blow it away for good. It's all about distraction and getting them laughing instead of crying
Haha!! I have a love-hate relationship with those kinds of moments.
Love because I sound like an adult - or at least the way the adults sounded when i was a kid.
Hate because it makes me that much older ... *sigh*
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Lol, I think one reason kids want bandaids for things that just hurt but aren't bleeding, is because they associate the bandaid with stopping pain rather than with stopping bleeding. That and they get some love and attention from their parents :)
my son has gotten on a kick saying "my arm hurts" when he has an itch. or "my eye hurts" when he wants to rub it. and he always, always asks us to kiss it to make it better. and a gentle quick rub of the area usually helps to relieve the itch or discomfort.
its cute, like he cant understand whats happening to his body with simple things like itches and discomfort.
the line was drawn the other day when he came in to the room and told me "my bothom (bottom) hurts! kissit! kissit!
no son. lets let chocolate milk fix that one.
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I keep our band-aid box stuffed to near over-flowing for such an instance. When my girls say they need a band-aid, they get as many as it takes to soothe the 'owies' even if they are psychological. :D
good job, dad!
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It gets me to laughing (after the fact) that my son will come to me with the tiniest cut or mark and request hospitalization. Then he fractures a small bone in his foot (which nothing can be done for besides keeping off the foot, much like a broken toe), and proceeds to tell me his foot is not swollen or red and I am being "weird." HA. The next morning his foot was purple (not as swollen though) and only then did he believe me that it was probably hurt and we should go to the doctor just in case. Then he cried, a lot. Then he got a day off of school and was pretty happy all day long.
when my cousin was three she had a "boo boo" we did not have children yet so only had plain bandaids. I put one on her she looked at it and said this will not work its not scooby doo. LOL
I have to buy boring band aids so we don't go through them like candy. They can buy their own with their allowance (which usually happens, then a few days later all band aids are gone), but I can't really complain their love of them since I was the same :)
Guilty as charged, I've normally just said that the wound "needs air to breathe so it can heal." It works none of the times.
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OMG!!! When I was a kid, my mom never allowed the "psychological" band-aid. If there was no blood, there was no bandage. Period. When I was 13 and away for the summer, I injured my finger (too gross to explain) and actually did need a band-aid (and had to change it every few days). Where I was staying, all they had were cartoon band-aids ... so I got excited to get a new character each time. After I got home, I used my babysitting money to buy cartoon band-aids of my very own. It turned into a bizarre collection, and over the next few years I amassed several hundred types of cartoon band-aids! Hey, I never said I was normal!
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We have a Winnie the Pooh Gel pack that I keep in the freezer for mostly the dramatic bumps vs real bumps.....It's the phrase "would you like some POOOOO on youuuuuuu?? that gets her everytime. It's a fake cry right into a gut giggle and i know she's ALL BETTER......
I do not have children, but my knee hurts there is no blood but I think I might go try a band-aid, just in case.
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Don't have kids myself, but when I was a kid, I remember trying to get sent home from school for feeling sick even if I really wasn't (or, at least, for exaggerating a minor stomach pain). That was stopped right quick with an un-needed trip to the doc's office. I guess it's kinda similar. I never really asked for a bandage if I wasn't really bleeding, since I tended to hurt myself enough to actually require a bandage.
Haha! My 4yo daughter is exactly the same! I don't know...thinking toward the future when psychological band-aids won't help their hurts, I'm cherishing each and every "unnecessary" bandage. ^_^
I too am always brought invisible owies - my 4 year old daughter insists she needs a bandaid every time, and we use the 'no blood, no bandaid' rule. She likes the independence of opening the bandaid and applying it herself I think. I have given her a bandaid when she is really distraught or if she has a hang nail or something. But she usually just gets a kiss better and a hug, then she gets occupied with something else ;)
I have a basket of all sorts of bandaids. Antibiotic ointment and other lotions and potions to make an owie seen or unseen feel better. I also give plenty of hugs and kisses. My daughter knows she can come to me whether her problem is big or small. I hug her until she is the one to let go, then she is happy to get on with her day
My sister use to be covered in neon colored band-aids that my brother and I would stick on her to get her to quit crying.
I wrote a response blog because my thoughts were too much for just a comment: http://brooke-randolph.com/Blog.aspx?ID=24 "Emotional Band-Aids"
My friend's 3 year old daughter calls them "boo boo stickers." The name is very apropos and was quickly picked up by both of my boys, and the neighbor children as well.
I used to have to carry around a box of bandaids with me at all times. My daughter required a new one almost daily for 2 years. One day at the zoo, we saw a little girl crying and holding her hand with her young parents stymied about what to do with the blemish-free hand. I approached them with my box of fandaids. They of course looked at me like I was nuts. I told them my daughter gave permission for their little girl to use one of our bandaids and my daughter even drew a little face on it for her. That did the trick. I gave the mom about 6 bandaids and told her to keep a supply on hand at all times. She looked grateful and confused at the same time. Bandaids are cheap and I didn't even have to buy the birghtly coloured ones. We had more fun drawing on them then anything else.
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Yep, if there is no blood then my three boys get an ice pack. Either the football, Buzz Lightyear or Blue ice packs. I think they find pain just for the ice packs!
My first 2 sons did the same thing, however, my third was a different story....I think he was the only 3 year old that was deathly terrified of band-aids. Even when he WAS bleeding and needed one, he would scream if I tried to get the box out. To this day we still have no idea why he was so scared of a band-aid.
I am at a point with my son where he no longer comes to me for band-aids. However we are at that point where I am acting more like my mother and he is acting more & more like me. Kinda weird.
My 2 yr old daughter brings me the bottle of Benadryl or Motrin along w/ a medicine cup, and tells me her belly hurts. It's always her belly, and always a liquid medicine. I tell her that's not belly medicine, and she walks away. Guess I need to put it back in the cabinet instead of keeping it in her diaper bag.
My 3YO daughter is the same way. And if that, or a "Mommy kiss it" makes it all better, then so be it. What's a box of band-aids cost? $2-3? That is well worth peace of both of our minds!
I never band-aid unless there's blood- we usually just kiss it better and she's fine with it. I think my daughter (2.5) scratched herself on purpose once just so she could have a band-aid. I came into her room (she was supposed to be napping) and she said very excitedly "Look, Mommy, I have a owie! I need a band-aid!" She had a big huge grin on her face- not sad at all. I think she did it on purpose.
For years, my sister and I both got a box of band aids in our stocking at Christmas. Ours to use however we pleased and whenever we wanted them. As my mom said, it made us happy, so why not? Unsurprisingly, my kids get boxes in their stockings, too.
my son is three and lucky for me we need mama kisses not band aides i say lucky cause kisses are free and i always have them on hand.
Oh my! I'm a preschool teacher and the kids do this all the time! The harder one is when you offer a band-aid for a real boo-boo and they totally freak out at you because having a band-aid must mean that it is really really bad!
Blood gets bandaids, other "owies" get kisses. Cheaper and work just as good. :)
Blood gets bandaids, other "owies" get kisses. Cheaper and work just as good. :)
We kiss better then bite off the "owie" and spit it out on the floor and stomp on it....."owies" take about 15 minutes....
My 4-year old daughter is terrified of band-aids. Even if she IS bleeding, she cries even harder when I ask if she needs a band-aid.
HA HA that is cute, yes kids do this a lot, I had to hide the box of bandaids from my stepdaughter because she thought it was fun to just put them on her body and pretend she had boo boo's!
As an adult (and sometimes as a child) psychological band-aids are called "hugs".
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I wish my psychological owies could be fixed with a well placed band-aid!!
My mom wouldn't band-aid unless there was some sort of bodily fluid flowing :P It made me crazy as a kid, but now understanding just how expensive band-aids are...I totally get it!
We do this all the time!! My daughter now loves to "treat injuries" that none of us have! I have to hide the band aids and ace bandages from her!
My instant cure is running cold water over the invisible owies until the bad feelings go away. My son says with great relief
We always have to have a band-aid for the most minor of cuts. But couldn't we all use a psychological band-aid once in a while? Cute post!
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That is exactly the way my 6 year old son William is, lol. Band aids seem to take care of all boo boos, no matter the size. So I keep some on hand everywhere we go because I just never know when he's going to have an emotional break down over what I would consider nothing major but it's a big deal to my little man. I will be so anxious to share this with him when he's older, lol. Thanks for sharing your experience! :)
My 2 year old gets these invisible boo-boos all the time...he just wants me to kiss them and make them better. LOL Can't say I mind too much when my son's just looking for an excuse to get kisses. :D
Oh yes, band-aids are magic devices that cause all pain (even imaginary pain) to immediately cease upon application. Sometimes kisses do the same thing, but not always.
I realized that I was becoming my mother when I asked my fighting boys if they would like knives to stab each other with since they hated each other so much. When my mom asked that same question of my brother and me, we busted out laughing in her face. My boys did the same. I shook my head and kicked myself for turning into my own mother.
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