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On SDL’s Facebook page, I posted a simple question on Monday. “What is something you’ve found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure.

  • Because I said so.
  • Please don’t lick your sister!
  • If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?
  • No No! We don’t eat poop!
  • Please stop licking the TV!
  • Please take your hand out of your bum.
  • Me: “Because isn’t an answer.” My daughter: “Why?” Me: “Because.”
  • Don’t use your brother as a stepping stool.
  • Stop playing with your brother’s penis!
  • Stop eating your spinach and eat the rest of your dinner!
  • Don’t pee on the dog!
  • No, I’ll pick my own nose, thanks.
  • We don’t brush our teeth with toilet water!
  • No sitting on the table without pants!
  • Exactly how did you manage to bite your tongue in half… lengthwise?
  • I hope when you grow up you have a child that acts just like you.
  • Pee in the toilet not the trash can.
  • Please don’t wash your daddy’s belt in the dog dish!
  • Take your underwear out of your mouth and put it on.
  • Cat litter is not the same thing as bath salts.
  • You’re such a good pooper!
  • That’s not chocolate!
  • No, just because girls get their period does not mean boys get an exclamation point.