On SDL’s Facebook page, I posted a simple question on Monday. “What is something you’ve found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure.
- Because I said so.
- Please don’t lick your sister!
- If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?
- No No! We don’t eat poop!
- Please stop licking the TV!
- Please take your hand out of your bum.
- Me: “Because isn’t an answer.” My daughter: “Why?” Me: “Because.”
- Don’t use your brother as a stepping stool.
- Stop playing with your brother’s penis!
- Stop eating your spinach and eat the rest of your dinner!
- Don’t pee on the dog!
- No, I’ll pick my own nose, thanks.
- We don’t brush our teeth with toilet water!
- No sitting on the table without pants!
- Exactly how did you manage to bite your tongue in half… lengthwise?
- I hope when you grow up you have a child that acts just like you.
- Pee in the toilet not the trash can.
- Please don’t wash your daddy’s belt in the dog dish!
- Take your underwear out of your mouth and put it on.
- Cat litter is not the same thing as bath salts.
- You’re such a good pooper!
- That’s not chocolate!
- No, just because girls get their period does not mean boys get an exclamation point.