What I want to know is, who came up with the term “fashionably late?”
I guarantee it wasn’t somebody like me, and from what I’ve noticed, those somebodies like me in this world are becoming fewer and further in-between.
I’m a social guy. I like to host social gatherings. I like having hang-outs at my house, parties, whatever. The problem is, when I tell others the party starts at seven, few people ever show up until eight or nine. Some don’t show up until ten or later. The last time I hosted a party at my house, I listed the starting time at seven. Eight rolled around. Nobody. Nine rolled around. Nobody. What the heck? I started cleaning up, assuming I was just a loser. More than ten people had told me they were coming, but nobody showed.
The food got cold. The punch lost its fizz. I eventually started cleaning up, wondering when exactly I had developed leprosy.
Then, at 9:15 the doorbell rang. A friend showed up. “Where is everybody else?” he asked. I just grumbled. By 10:30 everyone was there plus a few unexpecteds.
For some reason, nobody wants to be the first one there anymore, at least in my social circle. And, over the years, I’ve found that the want to not be first feeds off of itself to make it worse and worse. People recognize that others are trying to do the same, so they purposefully make themselves even more tardy. With time, I’m betting we won’t be able to start the party until after midnight.
But seriously… what’s wrong with being the first one there? I’m pretty much always the first one there, when there is somewhere else. I don’t mind. It’s not like it’s torture having to talk to an old friend, catch up on life, or… God forbid… help the host finish cooking/setting up for the party.
The temptation is to tell friends the party starts one or two hours before I actually want it to start. But, I can’t. The second I do that, some friend will show up “on time” and I’ll be far from ready to host anything for anybody.
I guess the real answer is to simply stop attempting to offer hot food. Doritos and Oreos from here on out.
Or maybe I should just ask everybody to please come on time. Maybe I should respectfully ask them all to help me get rid of the “fashionably late” mindset. I’ve definitely tried the passive aggressive route, but that certainly hasn’t helped.
What do you think? Do you have this problem when you host parties? Are you one who feels that being late is expected and totally okay? I’d love to hear your comments!
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
I love that you serve punch.
I am never ready with my parties early. I am always getting ready at the last second. I don't mind if people are on time (though I prefer 5-10 minutes late), but early people drive me nuts! They get in my private mess and it makes me feel like a failure to not be ready. Our parties are generally low-key and involve some games and chatter, and often a meal right in the middle, somewhere. One set of friends was chronically early pre-kids, and you wouldn't know if they'd be 5 minutes early (and just see the last sweeping up) or almost an hour early, and catch me walking from the shower into the kitchen to preheat the oven- eek! I try to tell the chronically-early one time, the normal people (who vary from one time to 15-20 minutes late) the correct time, and the late (a SIL in particular can be hours late) yet a third. And I prefer to start the evening with some laid-back beverages, chatter, and maybe a quick game- so, having people filter in in small groups is really nice for all of that.
Therefore, when I arrive at a party, I will sit outside where I can't be seen, and wait till I am no longer early (I don't want to do that to anyone!), and then a few minutes till someone else has showed up, and filter in slowly. If (as is, unfortunately, often the case) I don't actually want to talk to the host, I show up late-ish and blend into the crowd. If it's a great friend, however, I will probably either show up way early (after calling ahead to see if it's OK) or plan to offer to clean up after, so we can chat and I can help and enjoy extra time with them!
I'll admit, unless a host gives me a specific time that dinner will be served, I tend to be a few minutes late (around 5-10, but no more than 15). This usually means I'm still one of the first to arrive, but I don't get left alone with the creepy cousin/brother/friend while the host is freshening up. The one exception to this rule is for my grandmother. If she says we're eating at six-thirty, she means six-thirty SHARP! She does NOT like to be kept waiting, and she isn't afraid to tell you so.
did you know in mexico its rude to show up ON TIME! Manners calls for you to be 15 mins late. pull in, honk, and wait for someone to come open the door before you even get outta your car!
My suggestion? Door prizes. Tell them the first to arrive gets a prize. lol. Then make it also a potluck. Tell them everyone will be eating at "X" time. So then, they have to arrive on time with their food or other people might eye them funny for bringing the chips/dips/salad/desserts late. I know I'm always later than when I plan to be someplace, which is why I have started planning to always be 15 minutes early so that I arrive "late" for me, but on time for everyone else. And with my social family (husband and kids) we are almost always the last to leave.
Honestly, I adore being the first one there for just the reason you said. Time to get the host to myself to talk/catch up with them. Or time to help....my Mother put me in the "always help" mindset and now I'm putting that on my kids. I LOVEEEEE helping. LOL So much fun to be first! But when I'm holding a party, I tell everyone 30 mins before I actually want them there, then at least one shows up "on time". :)
I would show up on time. I'm a bit anal about that. =)
I'd save a small amount of the food and say "Oh, you should have tried this. It was SOOOO good when it was hot." LOL.
I agree though. I have resigned to not starting to cook until my guests arrive for dinner. If I say six, they are 7, my dinner is cold, my kids are starving, it's not cool. So I feed my crew, then wait until the company arrives to start cooking. It has stopped the influx of those who show up JUST IN TIME for dinner too. They know they have to wait so they better get here early.
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I attended a wedding recently that was supposed to begin at 3p. We arrived at 2:45 to an almost empty parking lot. We waited a few minutes, but eventually just went into the church. Hardly anyone inside. I knew this was supposed to be a PACKED wedding of 300+ guests, so we were baffled and worrying that we were in the wrong place. Finally, a familiar face showed up. He was equally as confused because he had also triple-checked his invite for the ceremony time. Long story short, the majority of guests showed up around 3:30, and the bride and groom about 10 minutes later to get started. We only found out at the reception that the open bar start time had been pushed back, so the bride and groom used WORD OF MOUTH to tell guests to take their time and they'd start late so people wouldn't have to be waiting around for the open bar to begin. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? An email, a postcard, hell, even a text would have been better to receive about a change in time rather than NOTHING. We were starving and had hoped to grab a quit bite before the ceremony, but we were worried about being late. I'm still annoyed about this, as you can tell.
That's insane. In a bad way.
Unfortunately, you can't change people who think they're being cool unless you show them that they're missing out on something better than being "fashionable."
When Food Network really started getting noticed and "foodies" were the new COOL, fashionably late started going away because people wanted to eat, and first come/first served was the standard.
Offer far less food than would feed everyone, and let the late-comers see that they missed out on the good stuff. Don't cater to people can't bother to call and say they're running late. It's a complete lack of respect to any host, not just you, to expect the full treatment 2 hours late.
If they show up more than an hour after it starts and there's no food, just apologize and tell them to show up earlier next time.
We had an issue with this too! I hate when people are late! I have told several people earlier times so they will be on time, if they actually do show when I say, we just hang out and get things going together! It usually turns out really fun. We eat when we say we will and if they aren't there, they don't get any most people understand and start to show up on time.
Because I use a technique called "Timeline Therapy" I can offer a slightly different perspective on the issue of being on time.
"The concept of time is within the domain of the unconscious mind" meaning it is our unconscious mind that sorts and organizes time on our own personal timeline. People sort time in one of two ways, they are either 'in time' or 'through time' depending on where their timeline is in relation to their body. "Through time" people tend to be early or on time while "in time" people tend to be late (in varying degrees). Interestingly the general pattern is most North Americans tend to be Through Time while most Europeans and those from the Middle East tend to be in time; meaning the cultural influence on how a child is raised will have some impact on how they sort time though there are no hard fast rules about it.
So as Grace mentioned about Joe - "He couldn't be on time...it wasn't in his make up" she was absolutely right - it wasn't in him as he is likely a "in time" person. Oh and telling 'in time' people an earlier time is usually the best way to deal with them being constantly late and no worries, they will never be there at that earlier time.
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You could reasonable assume that these same people can get to work on time. I''m not sure why when people know they need to be somewhere at a certain time (like, say, church which starts every Sunday at the same time) they're late for those things. I'm not entirely okay with the idea that if you have kids it's an automatic excuse to be late either. I'm a single parent and managed to get my kid to daycare and myself to work on time for years. Having said that, though, I probably wouldn't sweat it if people were a little late for a casual party I was serving nibbles and drinks at. A dinner party where we were sitting down...I'd start (and have) witout the late comers. I'd usually say something like come for 6...we're eating at 6:30.
I agree Michelle. I hate it even more when people just don't show up even though they said they would. It's beyond rude. However, I understand that things come up (emergencies, tardy public transport) and being a person that doesn't have a cell phone, there have been times I've had to bow out of things... but I always let the host know as soon as I return to my home.
Grace -- I have a friend like that (we even call it HisName Standard Time, too)! That's awesome :)
We do the same thing about him. We call it "planning." :)
Dan -- if people do that to you, then shut the door and go to bed. Leave them a note on the door and let them know they missed the party. Trust me -- you only have to do it ONCE. The people who really want to be at your parties will come on time next time.
I am old fashioned, I guess. I am never late ~ and if I am, you will have gotten a call from me to tell you when to expect me. I think it is just rude to assume a time is merely a suggestion. I love my SIL, but she has NO concept of time. We, as a family, have established that we tell her a full hour before the actual time when there is a family function. That way, they are usually on time. If I am having a "drop by" gathering, I say so. "People are welcome to come by anytime between 3:0 and 10:00. Hope you can stop in." Just me. I like to be the first one to a friend's house. I can have a few minutes with my pal and possibly be useful. I DO NOT get the "don't want to be first" mentality at all.
I'm the opposite of what you've described. I'm always terrified of being late. I feel so bad when I run late, because it can really mess up someone's schedule. I always feel rude when I'm late. I don't mind if others are late, provided it's a reasonable amount of late (like 5 minutes or something). But if someone showed up at 10.15 when I'd said 7, I'd be raging mad.
The differing opinions.. that is the issue. I personally, am one to almost always be late. For many people (such as myself) it is a disorder issue, not a selfish issue. I am far from selfish, and I can say the same for many other people in the same category.
Back to the parties.. I have several groups of friends. I have dinner party friends, and I have rock star party all night friends. I know dinner parties consist of a meal (& there's a time frame) & rock star parties are come/go whenever.
I will most likely be late to both of these types of parties. Dinner party will be 20-30 late (not meaning to), and I will call the host for a check-in. I know if I'm super late, I will just have to miss the hot meal. The all-night parties, I'll probably be 1-3 hours late (partially on purpose, and also more late, not on purpose). There will be cold food & drinks, and if they cook, they wait until the party starts to start doing so as people will be showing up at various times.
When I host parties,.. if it's out to eat somewhere there will be a start time & I'll tell certain people to be there 30 min to one hour earlier. (I also plan to be there one hour earlier. Heheh.) If I'm hosting an all-nighter, there will be snacks, and I know people will come & go... that's just how it goes. I can be upset, or I can just go with it. I choose to go with it, and have fun on the journey! ;)
On a related note, my job is to do in-home sensual parties for women. This topic is such a standard issue that I coach my hostesses to tell guests to be there 30 minutes earlier than I will start my presentation, and to also be SURE to let everyone know there is a time frame/end time so they need to be there early. Being direct always ensures timely guests will be there on time, and the others will just miss out on some fun stuff. :)
As for your circle, you should be honest with your feelings. It may change things, but it may not. People's party styles are different, you may need more time-structured in-&-out early friends.
Bestest of luck with your party hosting endeavors! I hope it gets better & better! :D
Personally, I find it VERY irritating when people are late. I try everything in my power to be ON TIME or a few minutes early. It was a hard adjustment when I had a kid, trying to figure out how much earlier I needed to prepare to leave the house but I figured it out. Then I had to recalculate when I had kid #2. But I figured it out! It's not hard!
I have a very dear friend who is always late, usually 30 minutes. It use to bug the crud out of me, but I've learned to let it go. I tell her a different start time than everyone else and move on.
I can't possibly imagine showing up 2-3 hours after the start. I would have shut down the party after an hour and went out.
I also hate being the first one to arrive someplace, but I panic if I'm running late. The latest I find it acceptable to arrive at a scheduled appointment or event is around 5 min after the noted time. After that, I get very antsy.
I should probably mention that if a person calls ahead of time to say they are gonna be late and gives a valid excuse for it, then that's fine. Cancelling at the last second also annoys me.
Wow. People usually come late to my parties, but not quite THAT late. That's pretty rude, honestly. And I'm someone who's almost never on time.
I honestly don't know what people are thinking when they do that. I suppose they assume everyone else will come on time and they'll make an entrance, but I have to say... if you're going to be more than 30 minutes late, CALL!
Another, somewhat related peeve of mine is people not RSVPing to kids' birthday parties, so you never know how many people will show up.
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I hate being the first person some place. Because I am horribly shy and non-social, and I like to watch/listen for a while before I start participating.
However, I prefer to arrive ~15 minutes before things start, and get really antsy if I actually arrive after the published start time.
On the Invites even if they are Verbal invites .. Make a statement like... Please don't worry about being fashionable just come on time before the Good Food is cold.. ....I was always told that Fashionably late was 15-20 minutes late not 3 hours late.
I wholeheartedly agree with you about being fashionably late (a few family members are really bad about this), but sometimes my wife has us arrive at an event too early, before ANYTHING has gotten going, which drives me almost as crazy. I like to be there just when things get going, but not the very first.
Depending on how time-sensitive the event (or us) is, I try to use the stated time plus a half hour as the targeted arrival time for myself, if I expect to arrive any later I'll make the host aware beforehand. A good way of discouraging the fashionably late is to use a time frame, like saying the party will be from 7-11pm, possibly with a reminder that food will be served early on, so the late will miss out.
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I dated a guy once who was (no exageration) never on time. We attended the same congregation, and on the rare occasion that he actually made it to church, he was never less than 15 min late. We lived 15 min apart, and when we went out, he was never to my house when he said he would be, generally an hour to 2 hours after he said he'd be there.
This chronic tardiness (at least for the dates) showed a complete lack of respect for me and my time. When he was late for other events, he was showing a lack of consideration for those who put effort into planning the event. He had reasons that he later shared with me. I don't accept them. There are ways to work around those particular excuses.
"The convoluted wording of legalisms grew up around the necessity to hide from ourselves the violence we intend toward each other. Between depriving a man of one hour from his life and depriving him of his life there exists only a difference of degree. You have done violence to him, consumed his energy."
-- Frank Herbert (1920-1986)
When we choose to be late (excluding emergencies and "sh*t happens" moments), when it's an actual choice and we decide to be late... It's not cool.
I think a) you should be honest and ask people to show up on time; and b) I'm one of those nerds who shows up on time and then sits in tense silence when the host denies needing any help. I don't think I can offer any help in either instance, really... My friends are usually on time (of course, they know I have a chronic illness and keep an early bedtime), and I'm always embarrassingly punctual. But I think your buddies would understand if you just said, "Ya' know? It would really be better for all of us if we got this 'fashionably late' mentality. We'd have tons more fun, and the food would be better and the laughs would last longer. Whad'ya' think?" I don't think anyone would bat an eyelash at something so simple. And if they did get upset, just tell 'em that they missed the best part of the party because everyone else showed up three hours ago and the food is all gone!
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I have a friend who has a get together after work 1 Thursday a month. There are people who go every month, and those who go when they can. She asks you to let her know ahead of time you're coming, please not show up before 5, and give her an idea if you are going to be much after 7. The person who shows up after 7 the most frequently is her husband.
Personally, I think up to 30 minutes is s**t happens. I wouldn't want people sitting down to dinner the second they walked in, so I would plan an hour from arrival- giving them that 30 minute window. If its a chronologically challenged person I take that into account too.
I think its absolutely rude to not show up at all without calling. I had a small wedding (70 people invited.) I invited a woman who went to college with me. I had been a brides maid in her wedding, and while I already had more brides maids than I could keep track of, it was important to me that I invited her to my wedding. She RSVP'd that she was coming, but never showed. I understand why she didn't call that day given that it was a wedding, but I heard nothing from her. Almost a year later, I heard from another friend that she had to take her son to the ER that day which is a COMPLETELY valid reason to not show. However, its now 9 years and she has still not ever mentioned why she didn't show. Actually, she hasn't called or written either. Maybe I'm being petty, as her kid was at the ER, but I decided that I more than welcome her to contact me, but I'm not calling her until she tells me why she wasn't there. (The kid didn't end up admitted, everything was fine) If I had known that her kid was sick I would have called her after to make sure everyone was ok, etc., but honestly, she was the type to blow things off. By the time the message got to me that it wasn't her usual antics, I would have sounded like a real idiot asking if the kid was ok.
And another pet peeve of mine, is people who send invites at the last minute to big events. I found out a month before a wedding that my 2 year old was the ring bearer- we had discussed him being the ring bearer right after he had been born when she as engaged, so the ringbearer part was no surprise- but a little advanced warning would have helped (the wedding was on New Years Eve) The next big event was her little sister's graduation. I've known them since birth and would have been there. I got the invite a week AFTER graduation. They sent the invites out a day before the ceremony.
Seriously I feel your pain! i was at a wedding last month and it was supposed to star at 1:00pm. I walked in at 12:30 thinking I was running behind, and hardly anyone was there. Tables empty. I thought "whoa...these people have no friends". They started the wedding anyway, to avoid late building rental fees I'm sure, and then, low and behold, here come ALL their friends at 1:20-ish!!!! I mean, REALLY? I was appalled and it wasn't my wedding. lol! I am very on time. I am the first one there. Always. I would rather people be annoyingly early than annoyingly late. I dated a guy once, we'll call him Joe. He couldn't be on time...it wasn't in his make up. I joked and called it "Joe Standard Time (JST) for fun. I would purposely tell him that dinner was an hour earlier or that a function started before it did, that way he'd make it on time. LOL! I kid you not, it worked every time! I find no shame in that at all!
I can't stand this! It is soooo disrespectful and totally self-absorbed. That sounded mean, but...yeah...I wrote about this myself awhile back.. .http://larissaexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2011/04/confessions-lateness-anxiety.html" target="_blank"> " target="_blank">.http://larissaexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2011/04/confessions-lateness-anxiety.html
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Honestly, I don't know anyone who's late because they don't want to be first. Most of the time, parties have a start time but no finish time. Most of my friends take this to mean, come at anytime after this time. If you put a finish time on your invites, even if you don't intend to keep to it, it let's people know they need to be there on time. That said, some people will always just be late. We often do tell our friends like that to come earlier than we want because it takes them 1-2 hours to actually get over. I think they are just plain and simple bad prioritizers and planners. They think they have less to do and more time to do it in than actually exists. I would definitely let them know if it is bothering you this much.
I had a friend who hated it also, and one time she put on her invite that if you were 30 minutes you had to bring a drink for everyone, 1 hr a dessert for everyone, and anything past an hour you had to sing karaoke for anyone. There was only 1 person who showed up late. It's power of free food is amazing. It apparently goes the other way too.
I can't stand when people do that. I am usually the first one there and the only one on time and it irritates me.
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You just have to get your closest friends to come early -- then word will get out that things are kicking off on the early side and more people will show up before 10! Problem solved. :) And, even if people don't show til later, you still get in some quality time with your closest friends. It's a win-win situation. :)
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I pride myself on being on time, even a couple minutes early. If I ever am late do to unseen circumstances...I'm totally embarrassed. I follow the motto: Better early than late, but it seems more and more people follow the motto: Better late than never. When people are excessively late it's like they are implying my time isn't valuable.
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AMEN Brother!! This has always been a HUGE peeve with me- why come over an hour late? Most people know we have hot food waiting (because we always tell them when we're having before the event), and NO ONE EVER SHOWS UP ON TIME.
If they show up at all. We've invited ten people to our house once, they confirmed that they were coming way ahead of time (most- some confirmed a day or two before), and we had a big three course meal waiting- and NO ONE showed up. We haven't had a dinner like that since- we're a one income family and that dinner cost us a lot to make in time, effort and fundage. We're presently making new friends who actually want to show up! :)
Served us right for even asking these people in the first place anyway- ALL of them were known for being late- I just didn't expect them not to show up in the first place!
I SO feel your pain!
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If your friends are over 30 minutes late, I think that is getting a bit rude. Unless they tell you they are going to be late you should let them know it's rude. I'm often 5-10 minutes late, but that's because I'm terrible at judging how long the drive will be. If it's more than 10 minutes I will ring or txt to let the host know. My uncle is ALWAYS 'fashionably late' no matter how early he leaves something always comes up and he ends up 30 minutes late, so now we tell him a start time 30 minutes before everyone else.
I think common courtesy is a thing of the past, it seems. I hate it too. I threw an entire party before and the guest of honor didn't even bother showing up, no phone call, nothing!
We're teaching our kids common courtesy, at least I know someone in the next generation will be considerate and polite!!
If it were me, I would just let other people throw the parties for a while. I understand tardiness by an hour or less, (traffic, giant exploding poop diaper, whatever) and I also understand cultural differences, but usually, if you are actual friends with someone, you know their cultural customs.
BTW, Loser is a great movie ;)
It annoys me to death when people show up late for something. Unfortunately, here in India, it is customary to be late. No one is ever on time, for anything. I hate hosting parties cause guests are always late. But for us it does work to tell them to come an hour before we really want them to come. Then they will maybe only be an hour late. __I was always taught to be on time and I can't count the times I was the first one there cause I showed up at the set time.
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Starts at 7 food will be hot at 7 you show up later the microwave is located in the kitchen... :)
Dan, I agree and disagree on this. I think that you should have a one hour cushion between when you say your party starts and when you actually kick it off. First, I think that 7 is WAY too early to start off a party unless it is an afternoon BBQ. If its an actual party, make the start time 9 to 930 and expect people to be there by 10. You have to keep in mind that punctuality differs by culture as well. I have lots of friends from other cultures, and there are a few in particular that I never expect to see before an hour after we are supposed to meet. That is just the way they do things. In some cultures it is actually rude to show up on time or less than 15 minutes late because you are actually allowing the host to have that extra time to make sure that everything is prepared, and since in those cultures everybody tends to be running a bit late, it is the norm to be 20 to 30 minutes late. I fall into the 20 to 30 minutes late category for various reasons even though I was born and raised American. And I believe that most Americans need to lighten the hell up when it comes to all this punctuality business.
However, all that being said, your friends seem like an extreme case. I would say that if you put the start time of your next party for later in the evening and allow for guests to be 30 to 50 minutes late, and you're still having problems, I would address it directly. 2 to 3 hours late to a party is unacceptable (unless of course they do have a valid reason or let you know to expect this), and you would not be outside of your rights as a friend to say "Look, I've hosted several parties at which nobody shows up until 2 to 3 hours later, and I think this is disrespectful. If you're 30 to 40 minutes late, no big deal, but next time if there is nobody here after an hour, I'm just going to shut it down and go out for a drink. OR, if you want to make it more fun, start out with directly addressing it in the same way and say that the last person to arrive will be required to host the next party and will have a one month deadline to do so. This would get people there earlier and will also get a good routine of friendly parties going.
I do not believe that being an hour late is acceptable. 10 - 20 minutes is reasonable if traffic or children are involved, something that cannot be predicted or planned for. Any more than that seems deliberately rude and selfish and inconsiderate. I would never call 7 pm an afternoon party. Dinner is usually around 5 or 6 for some people, 7 is later than that. so I couldn't imagine showing up for a party, especially a dinner party at 10pm and expecting to be social so late in the evening without feeling like I've just shown up for a slumber party rather than a dinner party. I am shocked that Dan has people showing up 2 or 3 hours later than the time he specified. In my social and familial circle, a start time is just that, the time food is served and the party is commencing. It is not what time the cooking begins. I think it's is especially rude to be so extremely late when there is a meal involved. Just wholly inconsiderate. Dan, I think you need to take a more upfront stance on this with your friends. They can't know it bothers you if you don't say it does.
I really like your comment - but really? Telling people to grow the hell up about punctuality? Would you say that to your boss if he called a meeting for 9am and you showed up at 9:15? People are giving up personal time and priorities to gather in the same place and time as other people. Why is it so selfish to want people to show up when requested? Are the people requesting your presence really that unimportant? But again - you said 20 - 30 minutes late. In social situations in a home - parties.. I agree. But if you're meeting someone for dinner or drinks - I think its just important to use real time so people aren't waiting and waiting!
But I will agree - if you say 7pm for a party - its never very cool if 7pm meant everything would be served & ready. Thats a bit stressful to be expected to walk in the door to eat before having time to gather & share pleasantries :O)
I have to disagree that "Most Americans need to lighten the hell up when it comes to all this punctuality business." There is a reason that we tell guests what time something is starting. Would you tell the actors/actresses on a stage that an 8:00 start time doesn't work for you if you were attending a play?
When you accept someone's invitation you are saying "I will be there at the specified time" not "I will be there whenever I damn well feel like it." This is part of the American culture, being on time. And having a party begin at 7 is not unreasonable. Dan is a parent, he has a child to look after in the morning and probably doesn't want to be up until 2:00 am. It's his party, his house, he can set the start time for when he wants it to be.
Blush! We used to be the friends who were always late. We did feel bad about it, so we made a special effort one time to get to a friend's birthday bash on time. He looked decidedly startled as he answered the door in his towel, but let us in. As we helped prepare the food and shared a few glasses of wine, he sheepishly confessed that our friends were so used to us being late that they used to tell us a start time at least one hour ahead of everyone else. It was so embarrassing to hold a reputation like that, we've never been late deliberately since!
We have friends like that. we would give them a time to meet 30 minutes prior! We finally told them, and do you know, 10 years later, she always gives herself and family a 30 minute prior goal time. She thanks us all the time for "training" them in the glorious ways of being punctual; and not driving those waiting nutty!
I've heard that people who are always late are selfish. They think their time is more important that everyone else's. After I heard that, I made a conscious effort to be on time or early.
As for me, if someone says 7 o'clock, I have to be there by 7:03 or I feel like a loser.
People being late makes me crazy! My mother in law once showed up 2 hrs. late to my daughters 3 yr. old birthday party. My child was so mad, she wouldn't even look at grandma for over an hour. I was so proud of her for telling grandma that it was not ok.
~People think it's ok to show up way too late, to never RSVP(even when asked), and to commit to coming to an occasion and back out last minute. It absolutely makes me FURIOUS! I have hours of prep, get everything ready, and then, last second you back out - ? My question is how do you nicely punch someone in the face because they have been so horribly rude without offending them? (maybe a little overstated, but it's so mean & they don't even have the decency to apologize for being a jerk)
Fashionably late has always meant a few minutes to me. Not a few hours?
Well, do they all read your blog? Because if so, I'd say the problem is now solved! Yes, people tend to be late to events, but several hours? That's absurd. For myself, I prefer to be on time to things. Much less stress that way.
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