Since getting back into the dating game, I’ve noticed something interesting. I don’t know if this is true for everybody or even most people, but it’s certainly true for me, and that something is this… If an already slender girl (or even average girl) that I’m out with talks about feeling or being fat, it makes me feel really fat.
Most of the time I’m very comfortable with who I am, my body type, etc. I’m generally very comfortable with the knowledge that my weight always has and always will fluctuate, sometimes to the too slender side and sometimes to the all-out-chubby side. As a general rule, this swing in weight doesn’t really hit me too much because most of the time I’m happy at any weight within my greater range and I always know that I’m a few good decisions away from finding that health equilibrium again.
But a couple of times it has happened (both times were while I was in one of my more chubby stages) that the girl I was dating, and who was plenty slender, constantly worried about her own weight and her own fatness. This in turn made me look down at my own muffin top, my own side-rolls, or in the mirror at my own chubby cheeks and feel fatter… and fatter… and fatter. Every time she said she was fat, I felt fatter. Every time she said she felt like a cow, I felt like a walrus. Every time she said she really needed to lose a few pounds, I felt like I needed to lose a piano.
Thinking back to it, it really had nothing to do with how I perceived myself at all. It had everything to do with the fact that I liked each of those girls, and I was ultimately afraid of being rejected. I mean, if their standard of “too fat” was a lot skinnier than I was, than I am automatically going to be “way too fat,” for them, right? That’s how my twisted brain works anyway.
So, then the question I guess I have to ask myself is… is that way of thinking normal? Would any guy feel that way? Or is it broken bits of proof that my own eating disorder is still lurking somewhere in the background, playing puppet master to my thoughts and actions even today?
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Do you find this phenomenon to be true for you, as well? How do you feel when skinnier people are constantly worried about their weight? Has it affected you in romance? Has it affected you in other relationships?