Warning: Absolutely sick and twisted post today. If sick and twisted isn’t your thing, skip it and come back for beautiful you!

My buddy Dave made an interesting point the other day, and I couldn’t help but share it and expand on it here. You’ll thank me some day when your kids aren’t frying in an electric chair.

Have you ever noticed how many games have the word “murder” in the title? I mean, isn’t murder just about the worst thing a person can do? So why is it that we have no problem laughing with our kids about it? What if we took a sin lower down on the list and replaced the word “murder” in the title of all the games instead? Like, oh, I don’t know… how about “fornication?”

I mean, if you were forced to choose, wouldn’t you rather have your child grow up to be a fornicator than a murderer? So why does it seem so much more wrong if instead of Murder in the Dark, we encourage our kids to play Fornication in the Dark?

All the same rules. All the same pretending with their friends. All the same…. bleh. I know. It doesn’t work… Period.

Some other Murder games we could change out might include Murder Mystery, How to Host a Murder, Dinner and a Murder, Murder Escape, and Murder Scavenger Hunt.

Let’s start with Fornication Mystery (formerly Murder Mystery). The rules are simple. Figure out who committed the fornication, where they committed the fornication, and how they committed the fornication.

Fornication in the Dark could be fun. Assign a fornicator (or maybe you’ll have to tweak the rules and make it two fornicators) and a… ummmm…. priest? Turn off all the lights. The fornicators go around tapping others to indicate that they have fornicated. If you come across a fornicator, yell out “fornicator in the dark!” and flip the lights back on.

How to Host a Fornication. Let’s make up our own rules for this and the next games. In this game, I suppose it would be similar to a toga party? The host secretly assigns somebody as the fornicator, and then clues are given to all players as to whom it might be. Their goal, figure out who fornicated.

Dinner & a Fornication. I think this one is self-explanatory.

Fornication Escape. Players learn how to run if they are ever caught. Twists to the game might include “Angry Dad,” “Discovering Spouse,” or “Peeping Tom.”

And, perhaps the game with the most twists and turns… Fornication Scavenger Hunt. Players walk from door to door asking for items that might help them commit a fornication.

So what do you think? Should we teach our kids to play these common games with lesser sins as the goal?

I think not.

Definitely…

Definitely…

Not.

I’ll stick with murder.

LOL.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!