Do you remember my post My Pain Can Beat Up Your Pain? In it, I talked about how incredibly fun kidney stones are (which I tend to get often), as well as discussed when we might ask ourselves if there is a point with pain when it is no longer a contest of who’s been through the worst of it. In other words, “hurts like hell” to me is just as bad as “hurts like hell” to you.

Well, the responses that came in after that post, and my own troublesome curiosity, pushed me to ask a simple question a few weeks back. In 20 words or less, what is the most physically painful thing you have ever experienced? I received more responses to that (more than 1,100) than any other thing I’ve posted on Facebook, which to me means one thing. People love talking about physical pain. We hold the physically painful things we’ve been through above our heads like trophies. Talking about them is… fun.

So, buckle up and find a stick to bite into. Just reading this may hurt a little. These are your answers to the question, what is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced.
  • Childbirth.
  • Childbirth.
  • Childbirth.
  • Delivering my babies.
  • Labor.
  • One word. Childbirth.
  • Having children.
  • Childbirth.
  • Childbirth.
  • Natural childbirth.
  • Back labor.
  • Natural childbirth.
  • Childbirth.
  • Labor and Delivery.
…skipping 327 additional responses about childbirth…
  • Being pushed into a bonfire and receiving 3rd degree burns.
  • Passing 2 kidney stones roughly the size of Skittles.
  • I was struck by lightning while walking across the street. That hurt pretty bad.
  • Post partum gallbladder attack.
  • Having my molar pulled out without novocain.
  • Feeling my meniscus tear as I was playing volleyball.
  • Locked bowels as a teenager.
  • Impaled through my stomach by a broken wheelbarrow handle.
  • Hands down … even after childbirth … a kidney stone.
  • Migraines so painful I wished for death to come take me.
  • I dislocated my knee during a pillow fight.
  • Listening to Jessica Simpson sing.
  • 2 herniated discs crushing the nerves in my lower extremities.
  • 3 doctors turning my baby around while she was still in my stomach.
  • My nephew hooked me in the eyeball with a treble hook while fishing. I lost the eye.
  • Attempting to give myself a bikini wax at home.
  • Receiving chemo via a catheter every week.
  • A burst ovarian cyst.
  • Broken pelvis.
  • Bit in the head by a freaking donkey.
  • I was donating blood and the nurse hit a nerve in my arm. I felt like I was being electrocuted from the elbow down.
  • A car accident where I flew out the drivers side of a Ford truck as it rolled and eventually landed on top of me!
  • Had my big toenails removed after running a 10k in bad shoes.
  • 10 day miscarriage.
  • Hit full-impact in the testicles with steel nunchucks.
  • Ripping the toenail off of my big toe on a pallet while feeding the horse.
  • Infected, abscessed tooth.
  • Surgery on my anus without anesthesia.
  • Breaking my ankle while watching Fantasia and trying to be a pretty ballerina when I was nine.
  • Broken heart…didn’t know it could physically cause pain like that.
  • Broke a chip off a bone in my foot, falling down a spiral staircase in high heels.
  • I cut four fingers off in a table saw and they had to sew them back on.
  • Spinal headache. Imagine pain 1000 times worse than a migraine.
  • Cracked skull.
  • I got attacked by a school of blue bubble jellyfish while body boarding in Hawaii.
  • Got my hair caught in the gears of a drill, it jerked the drill back and hit me in the eye.
  • I had a 3rd degree ACL tear.
  • Fell down the stairs and bit the tip of my tongue off.
  • Second-degree sunburns.
  • I broke both my wrists at the same time.
  • Getting the crap beat out of my by a former boyfriend – ICU for 3 weeks with mostly everything broken/ bruised.
  • Bone marrow biopsy.
  • Falling off of a 30 foot building and landing on my hip.
  • Restoration surgery on mouth and burn debridement.
  • Having scar tissue removed with liquid nitrogen after my 3rd episiotomy.
  • Getting stabbed 5 times in my stomach with a butcher’s knife and sharpened broomstick when I was 6 years old.
  • Three simultaneous wisdom teeth cracked from heat/cold switch
  • A compound fracture of my right femur.
  • I was 12 & dunked a 7 1/2 foot basketball hoop & got my tooth ripped out by the chain net.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

In the words of who knows who… Aye yay yay! What’s the worst pain you’ve ever experienced?
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!