WARNING: Today is a Single Dad Ranting post. Come back tomorrow if you want fluffy bunnies and butterflies.
CRYING AND BLOGGING
I’ve spent 30 years trying to keep myself from ever crying. From my earliest memories I can recall moments when I tried desperately not to cry. As a teenager, crying was the last thing I could or would let myself do. If I cry as an adult, I might as well hand in my man card, right?
That’s what I’ve always thought. But then I started this blog. And I cried a few times as I wrote a few of my posts. As I wrote these posts, I was pulling all sorts of hurt and pain from deep inside of me, and the emotion was so overwhelming that I had no choice but to cry. And… I shared that I cried in those posts.
Therein lies the problem…
You see, when I wrote those posts, they were just another post on another day to me. I assumed they would soon be forgotten. I didn’t think anyone would care, especially in the long run. But, as it turns out, they were the posts that went absolutely viral. As such, they are also the first posts many people read when coming to this blog.
And so, if you dig deep into the search engines to find the handful of people who have written venomous things about Single Dad Laughing, you find one thing in common among most of them. They declare that I’m a phony because I talk about crying in “every post.” They call me sappy and fake. They declare that I’m purposefully tugging on heartstrings to get all of the “suckers” of the world to follow me. They announce to the world that it’s all a ruse to get women in the sack.
And what they hate most is that “so many people blindly love and read the horse **** I call writing,” or so was told to me in an email recently.
I can see how if those posts were the only posts a person were to read, he or she might come to such conclusions about me.
I think it’s silly and a little ridiculous if I’m being honest. I think that such thinking only propagates the idea that men can’t and shouldn’t cry. I think it is one acting on his/her nature to be assumptive of the worst and doubtful of the best. And, dare I say it… I think such thoughts and statements are often the brainchild of that green-eyed monster we call envy.
I hate to think that. I hate to go there. But I’m tired of tip-toeing around it. One such blogger wrote in an email to me (after heavily slandering me on his blog), “if your wild success is just the product of serendipity, then I guess I was just mad at the universe for not similarly hooking me up.”
Do people really look at the blogging world as some big contest? There are nearly 7 billion people on the planet. Nearly 400 million that speak English as their first language. There are plenty of awesome people to go around. There are plenty of incredible people who just love incredible blogs, no matter who’s writing them or how often. When one person succeeds, it doesn’t mean that another person has to fail. If anything, the more bloggers there are succeeding, the more people come and start reading/finding blogs. In fact, I believe this so much that I started a side blog that gives away all of my blogging secrets.
Anyway… to attack a man for crying/talking about it? To call him weak, fake, and manipulative? It seems to demonstrate nothing more to me than the need to write about it and talk about it all the more. It seems to prove the problem our society faces altogether. It also seems to me that there are a few people who could really benefit from a good cry themselves.
Okay, I’m done ranting now. As you were.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. What are your thoughts on men and crying? What do you think if you see a man crying? What have you thought in the few times I’ve talked about crying? And, what would be your response to those who call crying weak?