Please note, I wrote this post some time ago before I started dating Fabulous Wendy. Hopefully that disclaimer will save me from getting my butt fabulously kicked. Anyway…
Maybe it’s my curse in life. Maybe I bring it on myself. Maybe I just want to whine about something today.
I try to date as often as possible. Finding dates is not the tricky part. What’s tricky is not getting burnt out doing it. In all honesty, I never dreamed that I’d be in a position where dating was tough because of “who I was.” I never thought I’d have to worry about the reasons why somebody was dating me, and how genuine any relationship actually was. [sigh] But, that’s another post for another day.
It seems like the majority of dates I go on end up by the end of date one (or no later than date two) in deep discussion over personal issues, ways of thinking, and life situations. Because most girls know who I am and what kind of stuff I write before we go out, the conversations often and naturally steer in that direction, which naturally leads to deeper discussion about personal values, personal problems, and personal ideas. I sometimes feel like more of a counselor than a date. The two biggest differences, of course, being that I’m the one paying, and I don’t have any type of credentials to back up my s***.
I’ve looked back at past dates, and I don’t know whether the blame lies with me, my dates, or perhaps a combination of both. How is it that I end up three hours after meeting a girl for the first time, discussing co-dependency, body image, or trouble with exes? Surely no woman agrees to go out with me planning to go there at such an early stage, which makes me assume the blame somehow lies with me.
Maybe it’s my inability to shut my mouth when I see unhealthy thinking or self-destructive talk going on. Maybe it’s my inability to keep my yapper zipped when I hear statements that leave me wondering what deeper issues might be going on to cause such statements. Maybe it’s my curiosity and love for the imperfections of others. Maybe it’s my own love for deep discussion. Maybe it’s a slight want not to waste time on three, five, or ten dates with a girl before I know if there are deal-breaker issues going on. Maybe it’s just me, being me, and I need to work a little harder on not doing it.
Because I don’t want to be a counselor. I want to be a date. I want to enjoy my evening. I want to have fun. In fact, I want to have a blast on my dates. I want to talk about favorite movies and shopping centers and penguins and Pop Rocks. I want to just relax, see if I click with a girl, and if I do, go out for another date.
Yet, it doesn’t matter how hard I try. It happens, and it happens most of the time.
Don’t get me wrong. I have been on a few incredible and fun dates, even with girls with whom the conversation turns deeper more quickly than anticipated. I’m friends with some of those girls still and I’m thankful for the evenings we shared together. I just, oh, I don’t know… I just… bleh. I’ll stop whining now.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing