Okay… I better post these pictures before anybody else does! You know what they say… the damage is a lot less if you own your weirdness. Right? I hope so.
I’m just kidding. I’ll totally own what you’re about to see!
My brother Eric just turned the big 3-0 and threw a seriously awesome hillbilly birthday hoe-down to celebrate.
So… what to wear? I mean, my wardrobe isn’t exactly reeking of hillbilly awesomeness. But, determined to play the part (I do love costume parties!) I went to my bedroom and started digging until I came up with the perfect “outfit.”
What’s scary is that everything I’m wearing here is something I actually own. The capris (which I won’t be disrespectful by calling them manpris) were a pair I found at an outlet store and bought without trying them on. They turned out very… ummmm… gay. The shirt, well, it’s actually a very stylish awesome shirt. When it’s buttoned up. But to go along with the overly flamboyant capris, I had to wear it in such a style. The mullet… I don’t talk openly about my huge wig collection. And the hiking boots. Well, you know I love hiking.
Noah’s costume was a little trickier. I let him choose his own wig out of my not-talked-about wig collection and he went straight for the afro. The best I could find was a lumberjack jacket and some army pants, but he felt like a true hillbilly. Especially after he dug out his old Billy Bob teeth.
Anyway, here are the pics my brother and others snapped during the party. Bet you wish you were in our social circle! Enjoy…
Nothin’ quite as awesome as a big ol’ butt taking up most of the picture!
Grandma won the prize for best costume this go-around. It was the pipe. I can’t believe she beat out my gay hillbilly get-up.
My old Karate instructor/chiropractor David showed up. He was very proud of the man I had become.
My mom and dad show off their ho-down skills at the dance portion of the party.
Noah joins in on the tissue box dance!
You can always count on my Grandpa to go full swing at these things!
My sister Tomi does a dance with Eric’s wife Leanne while I groove in the background.
This is Meryn, one of my best friends. I’m still trying to figure out what was hillbilly about this costume.
My baby sister Ange. Super cute even as a hillbilly!
Amy took the cake for damned cutest log-pile pose. I can say that in the spirit of hillbilliness.
My sisters Ange, Emily, and Tomi pose in their hillbilly garb.
My sister Amy shows us how to ride a pony. As if hillbillies need lessons.
This is me with my little sister Amy as the party winded down.
My little sister Ange delivering the pic of the night! Yowza!
My old man. Who gets credit for scariest hillbilly I’ve ever seen. Or had nightmares about.
My brother Eric gets ogled by his… sisters?
Okay, this is where it starts to get a *little* weird. “Dan, come pose on the log pile!” I don’t know who shouted it. All I know is I couldn’t NOT.
Shakira… log pile… yeah… lots of us were doing it.
Having a little fun with my buddy Dave who threw together a last minute ensemble that worked magic. Especially for an artistic picture such as this.
My sister-in-law Caitlyn shows off her beer. I never knew she had a taste for it! Call me crazy, but I feel like she should be flexing her muscle and saying “We can do it!”
Fabulous Wendy with her cute little daughters. They were playing more of the “cute country girl” part.
Noah and his cousin Amelia show off their fancy schmancy Billy Bob teeth for the camera.
I feel like my mom and dad missed their callings in life. Damn, they make fine hillbillies.
I tried to get Noah to dance with me, but he was too busy giggling. I don’t know why. There wasn’t anything that weird about his surroundings that night.
Three generations of hillbillies.
They say hillbilly is more in the heart than in the get-up. I disagree. I think it’s ALL in the heart and ALL in the get-up. Far left is our friend Shakira, next to Dave, next to me.
My sister Emily. Hillbilly extraordinaire.
This is my brother Andy. He tends to only wear slacks and button up shirts, but we all forced him to hillbilly it up and he definitely pulled it off!
All the hillbilly men in the family pose for a manly pic. Yes, I’m manly too! Come on!
Yeah… Amy wasn’t very hillbilly. Much more cutebilly.
Don’t ask me what Eric’s doing here. Seriously don’t. I don’t know and I don’t want to know.
You know… in case you needed more proof of my sexiness.
The “ladies” of the family strut their stuff. From left to right, Caitlyn, Amy, Tomi Ann, Ange, Leanne
We’re brothers. We were doing… something… I don’t know what. Happy birthday little brother. Welcome to the 30′s.
Dave also got sucked into posing on the logs. He also didn’t put up much of a fight.
Audrey, my (get ready for this) brother’s wife’s brother’s wife. She’s awesome possum.
Tomi Ann and Shakira also get into the tissue-box dance.
Eric, my little brother, the big man of the big day.
He turns 80 this month. Never looked better!
I’m sorry for whatever nightmares result from seeing this picture. You’re welcome for any incredible dreams you have. I could see it going either way.
Dave and Shakira get down. Her hips don’t lie. They really did.
This is me playing a dancing game where you tie a tissue box with ping pong balls around your waist and try and shake them out first.
Noah (standing next to his pal Megan) gets excited as the rules of the tissue box game are explained.
Yeah, I don’t get it either.
And there you have it. The side of me you never knew existed. Though you probably always suspected.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Do you ever have costume parties? Do your family and friends get as crazy as ours do? What’s the most fun theme party you’ve ever been to? (I’m always looking for ideas!) What were your favorite pics today?
SDL’s Quote of the Day Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie – not perfect but who’s complaining? ~Robert Brault