Okay… I better post these pictures before anybody else does! You know what they say… the damage is a lot less if you own your weirdness. Right? I hope so.
Haha.
[Nervous Sigh]
I’m just kidding. I’ll totally own what you’re about to see!
My brother Eric just turned the big 3-0 and threw a seriously awesome hillbilly birthday hoe-down to celebrate.
So… what to wear? I mean, my wardrobe isn’t exactly reeking of hillbilly awesomeness. But, determined to play the part (I do love costume parties!) I went to my bedroom and started digging until I came up with the perfect “outfit.”
What’s scary is that everything I’m wearing here is something I actually own. The capris (which I won’t be disrespectful by calling them manpris) were a pair I found at an outlet store and bought without trying them on. They turned out very… ummmm… gay . The shirt, well, it’s actually a very stylish awesome shirt. When it’s buttoned up. But to go along with the overly flamboyant capris, I had to wear it in such a style. The mullet… I don’t talk openly about my huge wig collection. And the hiking boots. Well, you know I love hiking.
Noah’s costume was a little trickier. I let him choose his own wig out of my not-talked-about wig collection and he went straight for the afro. The best I could find was a lumberjack jacket and some army pants, but he felt like a true hillbilly. Especially after he dug out his old Billy Bob teeth.
Anyway, here are the pics my brother and others snapped during the party. Bet you wish you were in our social circle! Enjoy…
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- Okay, this is where it starts to get a *little* weird. “Dan, come pose on the log pile!” I don’t know who shouted it. All I know is I couldn’t NOT.
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- This is me playing a dancing game where you tie a tissue box with ping pong balls around your waist and try and shake them out first.
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- My sister Amy shows us how to ride a pony. As if hillbillies need lessons.
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- This is me with my little sister Amy as the party winded down.
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- You can always count on my Grandpa to go full swing at these things!
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- Amy took the cake for damned cutest log-pile pose. I can say that in the spirit of hillbilliness.
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- Yeah… Amy wasn’t very hillbilly. Much more cutebilly.
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- Tomi Ann and Shakira also get into the tissue-box dance.
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- Yeah, I don’t get it either.
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- I’m sorry for whatever nightmares result from seeing this picture. You’re welcome for any incredible dreams you have. I could see it going either way.
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- We’re brothers. We were doing… something… I don’t know what. Happy birthday little brother. Welcome to the 30′s.
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- Shakira… log pile… yeah… lots of us were doing it.
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- Dave and Shakira get down. Her hips don’t lie. They really did.
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- Noah joins in on the tissue box dance!
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- He turns 80 this month. Never looked better!
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- Don’t ask me what Eric’s doing here. Seriously don’t. I don’t know and I don’t want to know.
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- Dave also got sucked into posing on the logs. He also didn’t put up much of a fight.
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- My sister Emily. Hillbilly extraordinaire.
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- They say hillbilly is more in the heart than in the get-up. I disagree. I think it’s ALL in the heart and ALL in the get-up. Far left is our friend Shakira, next to Dave, next to me.
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- My brother Eric gets ogled by his… sisters?
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- Grandma won the prize for best costume this go-around. It was the pipe. I can’t believe she beat out my gay hillbilly get-up.
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- I feel like my mom and dad missed their callings in life. Damn, they make fine hillbillies.
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- My sisters Ange, Emily, and Tomi pose in their hillbilly garb.
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- Three generations of hillbillies.
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- You know… in case you needed more proof of my sexiness.
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- My sister Tomi does a dance with Eric’s wife Leanne while I groove in the background.
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- All the hillbilly men in the family pose for a manly pic. Yes, I’m manly too! Come on!
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- Having a little fun with my buddy Dave who threw together a last minute ensemble that worked magic. Especially for an artistic picture such as this.
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- My little sister Ange delivering the pic of the night! Yowza!
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- My mom and dad show off their ho-down skills at the dance portion of the party.
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- My old Karate instructor/chiropractor David showed up. He was very proud of the man I had become.
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- Fabulous Wendy with her cute little daughters. They were playing more of the “cute country girl” part.
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- Noah (standing next to his pal Megan) gets excited as the rules of the tissue box game are explained.
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- Nothin’ quite as awesome as a big ol’ butt taking up most of the picture!
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- I tried to get Noah to dance with me, but he was too busy giggling. I don’t know why. There wasn’t anything that weird about his surroundings that night.
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- My baby sister Ange. Super cute even as a hillbilly!
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- This is Meryn, one of my best friends. I’m still trying to figure out what was hillbilly about this costume.
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- My sister-in-law Caitlyn shows off her beer. I never knew she had a taste for it! Call me crazy, but I feel like she should be flexing her muscle and saying “We can do it!”
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- Eric, my little brother, the big man of the big day.
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- My old man. Who gets credit for scariest hillbilly I’ve ever seen. Or had nightmares about.
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- Noah and his cousin Amelia show off their fancy schmancy Billy Bob teeth for the camera.
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- Audrey, my (get ready for this) brother’s wife’s brother’s wife. She’s awesome possum.
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- This is my brother Andy. He tends to only wear slacks and button up shirts, but we all forced him to hillbilly it up and he definitely pulled it off!
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- The “ladies” of the family strut their stuff. From left to right, Caitlyn, Amy, Tomi Ann, Ange, Leanne
And there you have it. The side of me you never knew existed. Though you probably always suspected.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Do you ever have costume parties? Do your family and friends get as crazy as ours do? What’s the most fun theme party you’ve ever been to? (I’m always looking for ideas!) What were your favorite pics today?
Fantastic! I loved this post it really made me laugh after an incredibly long day at work! I love fancy dress parties - but no one I know here likes them (or wants to have one) which I don't get any chance to put a dodgy wig on and some fancy dress clothes and i'm there! :D I may have nightmares about your log pic and your dad's scary hillbilly pic come to think of it - but even so it looked like a fantastic day! :)
These pix are great - especially the log piles. Hahah!Along with the other.... Mom, Dad, and the Grandparents are especially awesome for dressing up!
Dan, I loveedddd the pictures....but the pics of your grandpa just took me aback a little. He looks JUST like my grandpa did. I lost my grandpa (at the ripe old age of 89) in 1994. He was my buddy. I miss him. It was just startling to see someone who looks SOOO much like he did. All of that being said, the party looks like it was made of awesomeness and fun and I wish I could have been there! My family had a 70's themed New Year's Eve one year....I am relatively sure no pictures survived. Part of me is bummed, but more of me is happy. LOL
Ha! Awesome. Yeah, my rowdy bunch of friends have a theme New Years every year. My favorite was the "Create-your-own-superhero" theme. You had to have a name, a nemesis, a backstory (how did you become said hero) and, of course a COSTUME! I was The Distractress- I would sneak up behind people, yell something crazy like, "FIRE" and snatch their drink when they had turned. Fun times!
Oh I loved this post. I so wish I was there. Tell Dave how great he works those flowers in every pose. And you mister mullet... haha Sexay! :)
hey, I love runny peach pie as long as it has plenty of cream
Hahahaha What FUN!!! I may have to host a hillbilly party just for the fun of it! As a family ... we have done murder mystery dinners and dressed as the characters we were assigned. How come I got chosen to be the skanky/slutty one every time??? lol
This really got me laughing, nothing is more attractive than someone who has enough self confidence to show himself in less than flatering situations ! Love it, and you have a gorgeous family !
@RachelSalaun Wait, "less than flattering?" LOL. Which one? Now I'm hurt.
@Single Dad Laughing LOL my favorites are defenitely the log piles, you should have a "log pile contest" for everyone, just like the dance videos ! Nothing like sharing moments like these to boost everyones self confidence eh ?!
@RachelSalaun Touche.
@Single Dad Laughing PS you can't be hurt, you forgot to read the 1st part of the sentence:" nothing is more attractive" ;)
Bahahahahaha! Those turned out great! That was such a fun party. And congrats, you beat me to posting pics. I'll let it slide this once...
@tomiannie That's a first for me!
AWESOME! What's the tissue box dance? I gotta get that for my next party (I turn the big 4-0, and my husband will turn the bog 5-0 next year--and we're planning on CELEBRATIONS!
@jennwright It's fun! Fill an empty tissue box with ping pong balls, tie it around the waste, and hop around until the all your box's balls are gone!
With nearly every log pile picture, all I could think of was, "Draw me like one of your French girls." Which would be more relevant, had I seen Titanic within the past ten years.
@MikeManchildLilly Haha. Don't tell anybody, but that's one of my faves of all time! I just watched it a month ago cause I had me a Titanic itch. Okay, that didn't sound quite right.
Love it! A great time had by all! And your brother's wife's brother's wife would be your sister-in-law's sister-in-law
<i>The capris (which I won’t be disrespectful by calling them manpris) were a pair I found at an outlet store and bought without trying them on. They turned out very… ummmm… gay.<i>
and the problem is??? If they looked foolish, say foolish. If they were too tight, say they were too tight. Please do not equate not acceptable to being gay.
I'm sure it was in humor. If he were to say "flamboyant" or "feminine", it would have detracted from the humor that the simplicity of the word "gay" achieves. Dan doesn't hate anybody, and he certainly doesn't discriminate. Also, he never said that it wasn't acceptable. It simply wasn't his style. And please don't tell me I'm a hater, I AM gay, and at the same time, I can appreciate the purpose of people's words, in addition to the words themselves.
@MikeManchildLilly@WesleyAlexanderAustin Hey guys, I appreciate this discussion. I have lots of gay friends. Lots of close gay friends. If we can't laugh about certain *funny* stereotypes (which I do all the time with my gay friends) what can we laugh at? Okay, lots of things, but still. I put those pants on and the first thought that entered my mind was... these are gay. Which strangely enough made me love them because I love certain stereotypical gay clothes. :)
I getcha. :) I was just pointing out the contrast between his intended meaning and its potentially perceived meaning. Though I'd assume that most (if not all) of Dan's readers would feel the same. The only situation in which this would have me concerned is if it was a person's first time reading Dan's writing, and the person wasn't quite familiar with his voice yet. *Shrug*
@Single Dad Laughing@MikeManchildLilly I personally often refer to myself as a 'tranny fag' so I'm generally not one to go off the deep end about potentially offensive language. My only concern is although Dan (and I hope most/all of his regular readers) doesn't seem the homophobic type, it's good to be aware of language that could be seen as homophobic or, worse yet, be used to support someone in their homophobia.
that's just the $0.02 from the tranny fag ;)
Too funny. Looks like ya'll had lots-a fun!
This was hysterical. I now know the next theme for my birthday party next June. Lol. Your father is going to give me nightmares, your grandfather is adorable, and I think Noah and Amelia are just precious.
Lemme see here... a super fun costume party I've gone to would be a "Mafia" party. Somebody came with "cement shoes" made from plaster and paint and he looked very much drowned with seaweed and wet clothes which he routinely drenched with water bottles throughout the night. Super funny. There was a godfather, a few mob molls (mob girls), and wise guys, and all sorts of other things. It was great.
@MikaVirgil My father is giving ME nightmares! ;)
Mafia sounds fun! You should definitely do a hillbilly party. It was fantastic.
Lol, my favorite party to throw/attend was our Harry Potter Party, right before this last movie came out in July. It was freakin awesome, and everyone had so much fun. Hillbilly is a good idea... I'll have to try that one :-)
@pagetraveler That sounds fun, especially if y'all are into Harry Potter! I read all the books but just haven't been able to get into the movies. I hear the last ones are a lot better than the first ones though...
Ha! I think your family would be a blast to hang out with! And those pictures of you sprawled across the log pile? Made me think of a bad porno! Not that I would know anything about that kind of stuff... :-)
@My Tempered Tantrum I think that would put the porn industry out of business overnight.
ok...Why do most of your hillbilly poses look like ya'll are gay? I don't know many gay hillbillies (in fact, I don't know any hillbillies) Secondly, the men in the generaional pictures, the ones on the bench, are they real? They look fake.
@tarenwalters Haha. Gay hillbilly. That was my costume for the night. Second, all the guys are real. That's funny that they appear fake!
@Single Dad Laughing @tarenwalters Yea, your father looked like one of those dummies you put on your porch to scare kids at Halloween.. He does a great scary hillbilly! :)
@tarenwalters gay is a problem why?
BEST EVER! I think it's awesome that the whole family is up for silliness. Even G-pa. The first lesson in life should always be how to NOT take ourselves so seriously. Thanks for the smiles! Keep up your awesomeness!
In-breeders...no branching on that family tree! LOL
Your dad made me laugh so hard!! Great share-thanks!
Ya'll sho know how to git er done! Awesome party. :)
I think I need the rules for the Tissue box game. Giggle. So much fun.
I'll take peach pie any day, any way!
I can see you had to plan ahead for this event and not shave for a week, maybe 2? Can I also point out that Dave needs to work on his beer belly to pull off the TOO TIGHT T-SHIRT look. Perhaps you can help him prepare for the next hoe-down in advance? As for the nightmares, I think I will have them about your dad. I really will.
That party looked awesome! Shows what a great family you have!
Deliverance in 2011! Great idea...and your dad scared me a bit, too...
LOVE-LOVE-LOVE the pics. Your dad looks like Billy Hill of "Billy Hill and the Hill Billies" at Disney in Anaheim, CA. Only question is... isn't it "HOE-down"??? I'd hate to think you were partying with "hos"... lol....
@NancyN. Hahaha, I don't know. What is the proper spelling?
@Single Dad Laughing hoe·down-1. a community dancing party typically featuring folk & square dances accompanied by lively hillbilly tunes played on the fiddle.
Oh my gosh - thanks for the laugh this morning!
Sexy log pose, Dan! Can't wait to go to bed tonight.
"Brother's wife's brother's wife"? How hillbilly can you get. Love the pictures!