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When I met Noah’s mom, she was 19-years old. I know you’re not supposed to tell a woman’s age, but today she turns 30. It’s pretty exciting.
That’s such a bizarre number for me to hear, even though I rounded that bend a year and a half ago. I mean, when we met, let’s be honest… we were both a couple of dumb kids. We felt like we were adults yet somehow thought we’d be teenagers forever. I’ve been very much aware of the years that have been quickly tacking-on for me. I guess I never realized until this morning that she was growing up at the same rate I was.
The big 3-0.
Together, we’ve seen some amazing things. We’ve chased some amazing dreams. We’ve had spectacular differences.
The three biggest events in my own life involved her. Marriage. Noah. Divorce.
While we were married, we chased “The American Dream” together. Money. Stuff. Bigger houses. Nicer cars. The façade of Perfection. In the end we were both slaves to the chase and ultimately it had a role in the demise of our marriage.
Some dream, huh?
Today we’re both a stone’s throw from broke, and we’re both happier than we ever have been. Sure, things get overly stressful from time to time for both of us. But being free of the chase when you’ve been wrapped up in it for so long is perhaps the most liberating thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m betting she’d say the same.
And as I look at this woman, I am overcome with gratitude for everything she is now and everything we have experienced together. The good. The bad. The mediocre. I wouldn’t trade any of it.
She’s an incredible mom to Noah. And I mean I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E.
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I love reading the lessons you've learned. I love that you don't put Noah's mother down in front of him and that you publically lift her up. He will appreciate that in the years to come -- I speak from experience! :-) I love your transparency as well. Thank you.
Wow is all I can say. You're both amazing people and brought a new perspective for me. Thanks for all your wonderful words.
For some reason this brought an abundance of tears to my eyes. What a sweet way for you to look at things. Too bad more people out there were not as considerate to their exes... or to their spouses, or parents, or siblings... or really anybody.
What an awesome way to send her a birthday message!! Happy Birthday :) Thankful some parents can remember it's the kids first.
Amazing...
I hope you fully realize just how freaking BLESSED you are to have an awesome partner in the child raising journey. SOOOO many parents dont have that in an ex. I wish so much that I could trust my ex when he has my kid to be always thinking of his best interests. :(
wouldnt it be funny if you ended up w noah's biological mom haha
I am relatively new to your blog and am still trying to catch up. I just read today's and had no idea your ex wife was expecting, so I had to read this post as well! I realize it is belated, but a very Happy Birthday to you Andrea. I love that you two get along as well as you do and I am sure Noah will one day thank you for that as well. I too do everything I can to get along with my ex (for the kids). In fact, I just moved from NY to FL and my ex is still in NY. When I moved to FL I made sure to find a home with an in-law suite so that he could visit, almost expense free (and he knows he is welcome ANY time he wants to come for as long as he wants to stay - within reason). And now that I have moved to FL he is thinking of making the move to be closer to the kids, which would make it easier for visitation and such. Of course like you said, there are times when I want to pull my hair out (or what's left of his) over things, but it is what it is and we make the best of things. Congratulations to Noah on the big brother role - it is a very important one, and from what you share about him, he will be the BEST big brother ever! And if he ever has any problems with things, you can remind him that even though he is a big brother, he is still YOUR baby (because you haven't had another yet)!
I just read this post too, and I wanted to say Happy Birthday for Andrea, for October.
I hope your day was wonderful, and that you are getting ready to hold your wee bundle your arms.
Kia Kaha
Happy birthday Andrea. I know it's late, but I just read this post. I want to congratulate you on your miracle baby pregnancy! It truly is such a remarkable thing to experience. We too have struggled with infertility, and multiple losses. But I am currently 5 months pregnant and am so grateful we get to experience it a second time. Good luck on your birth. I hope it's everything you dreamed about! I know the birth of our first son was the happiest day of our lives (as I'm sure Noah's birth was for you, even if it was through another person!). It is magical. Can't wait to hear about it. Much love, Bri!
What a lovely tribute. Congratulations to her!
Happy Birthday Andrea :)
i met my husband when i was 14 got married when i was 18 then had our son when i just turned 20. now five years later my husband has given up our marriage and given up his son in a blink of an eye. we are human or like my four year old says human beans and beans are silly mommy.
Its very nice of you to share your love and respect for Andrea..as you are obviously still very much in love with her. It is a real shame you couldnt resolve your problems prior to divorce. Best wishes for you both.
It is so great to hear that you can have a good relationship with your ex and be happy for her. Happy Birthday Andrea!!!
Beautiful! Noah is so lucky to have parents who get along so well in spite of the fact that their marriage didn't last. I admire you both for not being bitter and letting bitterness towards each other damage your son's life.
~ Wow .. What a nice tribute! Happy Birthday Andrea! :D
@CrimsonLarkspur , I'm not one of the fortunate few either, my ex is the same as yours. He's resentful that I've made my life better, that I've moved on, remarried, and had another child with my second husband. My older children, twins, are now nine and are very vocal about what they want to do and don't want to do. But, when they chose Karate class by our house over Kung Fu classes by his house he was very angry at me. When they recently told him they wanted to spend Halloween with their new baby sister he accused me of manipulating their decision. When I invited him to join my husband in taking the kids around our neighborhood for Trick-or-Treating, he told me he didn't care about my new family. So ex's that get along are a foreign, yet wonderful thing for me to witness.
Happy AWESOME Birthday, from one lucky mom to another.
Blessings!
We need more men like you, I am sure Noah will be just as good as you. His Mom is lucky too as are both of you. So many divorcees have so much bitterness. No room in life for that!
I am not one of the fortunate few; my ex absolutely hates me, and I've grown resentful of him over the years, too. The break-up was bad; it was hard on all of us, including our son. Thank goodness he was so young at the time, he already doesn't remember it. After the break-up, I could have been amicable, but the ex refused to be anything but hateful and vindictive, and blames me for ALL his problems. So, to heck with him. I'm much better off and happier now anyway. Long story short, consider yourselves lucky. VERY lucky, because staying friends after a break-up is not what happens the majority of the time... and sometimes, when the ex is not a good person, it's not a good idea to even try to keep them in your life. A lesson learned the hard way for me, but at least it's learned and I won't be making the same mistake again.
I love that you have great things to say about her! I am just getting to a point of acceptance and caring for my daughters father. It takes time to forgive and move on, but it sure is nice when it happens, I am glad to know that it happens for others as well!!
I love that you and her can be so nice to each other, despite the divorce. My own parents are that way, and let me tell you, it's been years since their divorce and it is still so nice to have them still on good terms. Some of my friends were not so lucky and it has rent them in two. I hope she has a wonderful birthday and congrats on her pregnancy! You are an awesome man, Dan. Kudos! Now keep being awesome, you damn sexy blogger. :D
Dear Andrea, I just wanted to tell you Happy Birthday *</:0) You don't know me, but I have been following his blog for almost a year now. I have developed a respect for you through Dan's blog, because he has never said a bad thing about you, he is happy to see you happy, is comfortable with Noah's "other daddy", and now is thrilled that you will be able to have the experience of giving birth. Any woman that has an ex who still respects her must be worthy of that. I hope you had a fantabulous birthday!!!
@rebekahbrowerjackson
Thank you:). That's so nice of you... I appreciate it! Andrea
I like reading your blog. I don't read it everyday - just when something strikes me. I have a wonderful relationship with my ex-husband. We were married for 15 years and have 2 amazing boys. Marriage did not work for us - but being friends does. There is not one thing one would not do for the other. I wish other people could be like that but I know they cannot - due to circumstances me and mine did not have. One very important person in my life never understood how a friendship can come from a marriage - I sent him this link - maybe he can understand. Happy b-day Noah's mom and congratulations on your little one. Pregnancy is wonderful and having a baby is our chance to assist God in a miracle. :)
That is a very nice tribute to the mother of your mom!
Happy birthday Andrea! You two are an inspiration to me! The world will be watching to see what such amazing influences do for Noah! The world is a better place because of the space you two hold in it!
Thank you everyone for your kind words:). I feel so blessed for so many reasons beyond what I can express. You all are amazing people... <3 Andrea (Noah's lucky mommy)
You never cease to amaze me with your writings...
Wellsaid! It's so nice to see "ex" couples who can get along!!!
Happy Birthday Andrea! It is unbelievable how similar my story is to yours. I have to constantly explain the relationship
I share with the father of my kids to everyone in my life. I met him in high school at 18 and have 2 beautiful kids but after 8 yrs of chasing that dream ourselves we parted ways. Now I am staying with him while I save for a home and it has been good for all of us. While I closed the door to what we shared long ago I will always love him as the father of my children. I am happy to share in your sentiment as I just celebrated his 30th birthday by sky diving with him just a few days ago. We may not work together as a couple any longer but we work hard to ensure our friendship and care remains the same for our kids. Thank you for sharing, it is great to feel like there are parents who share the same belief that we can remain supportive of one another regardless of the relationship.
Thank you for being the parents who put your child before yourselves, your fights, your differences. Happy birthday, Andrea!
Happy birthday, Andrea! Thank you for allowing us to share your Noah and the joy he brings from the webpages of this blog. May you continue to enjoy the blessings you have in this life!
The two of you represent the best of all possible circumstances. Noah now has two sets of adults who have his best interests in mind instead of just one. There is a larger support network in place for him and for the two of you.
Congratulations on being the best parents you can possibly be!!
Oh, and Happy Birthday Andrea!!
happy birthday andrea and congratulations on your newest addition to your wonderful family!!!!
The relationship with your ex-wife is amazing. It would be nice if all people whose marriages didn't work out could be amicable with each other.
I'm going through a divorce now and have a less than amicable relationship with my ex. Thanks for this, Dan. I need to follow your example for the sake of my two amazing children.
Happy birthday, Noah's mom!!
Wow! that is awesome! I sure wish I could have that kind of relationship with my ex! Happy Birthday, Andrea, and great job raising Noah ! I'm a counselor, and I wish most divorced parents would at least be respectful of the other parent... much less be able to be friends!
A very happy birthday Andrea ! Hugs to all of you !
Good for you:)
What a very nice tribute. I don't understand why more people aren't like you are with their "Ex". Every person in our life has shaped us in some way and to be hateful and/or bitter toward them only really hurts us. Thank you for posting this.
I'm so lucky to have known Andrea in person back at Ramstein. She really is a wonderful person and deserves all the best. Happy Birthday, Andrea Blake Chapman!
I turned 30 2 years ago. It sounded so old then. Now it sounds young!
What an amazing role model you are for your son! Love this!
Its my Bday today too!!! Happy Birthday momma and congrats on your beautiful new life!!!
I was reduced to tears reading that, a beautiful blog, happy birthday Andrea, and many congratulations on your miracle pregnancy
Happy Birthday Andrea :)
Bravo to you and her (and her husband) for working together harmoniously for Noah's sake! Happy birthday, Andrea! And congratulations on the newest family member. :)
Classy post Dad. Well done.