I put the camera away and we both got to work painting our pumpkins to look like butts.

I kept looking over at Noah. His butt was looking really good. I couldn’t make out the butt he was painting, but he could. And that’s what mattered.

I decided to use more “fleshy” colors while painting mine. Noah was not impressed. Not when comparing it to his own, anyway.

“Dad, yours doesn’t even look like a butt. But look at mine.”

“Wow,” I told him. “That’s quite the painting job.”

“I used lots of paint.”

“Yes. Yes you did.”

“It’s how you paint a butt.”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

We finished up and I raced him up to the bathtub because I realized that preschool was quickly approaching. “We’ll paint the other sides after preschool. Then your paint will have time to dry.” He was cool with that.

After preschool we finished up, let them dry once more, and carried our pumpkins to the front porch. I had Noah pose with our butt pumpkins.

In the end, Noah decided my butt was pretty good after all. “How’d your butt turn out?” I asked him.

“Dad, my butt is the best,” he said as he studied his masterpiece for the umpteenth.

And that’s the story of how Noah and I painted our butt pumpkins.

This year I’m a little bummed because it’s his year to go trick-or-treating with his mom and stepdad. At least I’ll have our butts to look at every time I answer the door.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. What are you doing for Halloween tonight? What do you think of our butt pumpkins? (I promise it won’t hurt my feelings if you think Noah’s is the better butt.) Do you paint or carve pumpkins?

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!