The Dentist and His Dance of Shame

Okay, fine!!! I'll floss. If you can do it, I can do it. :)

Oh Dan.... sigh.... I am glad you are flossing, your gums (and total body health) will love you for it! ... oh, and BTW, I'm a hygienist. LOL! I don't play the shame game with my patients. I educate them (if they are listening, anyway).... for teens, the gross-out game seems to work pretty well, but sometimes I fall back on the "do you really want to have to get a shot so we can fix a cavity?" technique. For adults I try to explain the direct correlation between periodontal disease (gums, teeth and the bone that supports them) and heart disease, low birth-rate babies and of course, the fact that your teeth could all get loose and fall out. Other than that, I do not "lecture" or "blame" my patients. I sincerely try to get THEM to see the value of good homecare. Because, in the end, if you value something.... you'll take care of it. So, hope you get a better hygienist soon! Hugs!

I have never been a flosser either. I have had one cavity my entire 30 years of life and it was because I was pregnant...the dentist even said so :P lol. I always say I will try to floss, but for the most part am honest. But my Amazing Self Cleaning Teeth are starting to slow down in their old age, so I think I may have to bump up my brushing and flossing. My goal this go around? 1-2x/month as opposed to 1-2x/year. Haven't hit that yet....but I just went to the dentist 3 weeks ago :D

Didn't floss for years, and then I met my current dentist. And for whatever reason, I felt compelled to floss just so I could report back to him my new affinity for flossing. When I reported back 6 months later, it felt good. Pretty much once I finally started, I was sold. I think it's just getting into the habit. Plus I am a huge advocate of the tape floss. I do not like the old fashion kind, but once I found the Oral B satin floss (http://www.crestcomplete.com/product/floss/complete-satin-floss/) I was a happy camper and devoted floss-ee.

I have never flossed. Never. I too have felt the shame when at a dental appointment. I have to say... your post did teach me the importance of flossing. I don't think they ever went into the reasons to do it, they sort of just always barked orders at me to do it and that was it. I suppose it's common sense, but I did not realize that you could get cavities from not flossing. Good information Dan. Thanks!

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Ha! So I'm in dental hygiene school right now, and I will say before I started school, I was not a regular flosser. I wasn't until I went through my oral health class, and actually learned the importance of it that I began being a regular flosser. I actually was never even taught the proper way to floss until I started my program. The funniest thing is that hygienists always ask are you flossing, but never in my experience did a hygienist actually take the time to show me how. (Because they have so much time in an appointment...haha). I show all my patients how so they know that they actually have to go over a surface of the tooth multiple times like if they were brushing it. You can't just pop in and out one time. It doesn't break up that plaque biofilm....anyway....I never knew that.

In school, part of what we have to do with each patient is give them oral health instructions and education. I really don't aim to guilt my patients at all, but really just to educate them. My approach is to educate them so they know what happens in their mouth, why and what they can do about it. If they don't choose to do anything about it, I've done all I can. I don't believe in guilting people about anything. In my opinion guilting is an awful tactic.

Well Dan the thing for me is the "shame game". Flossing, doing your accounts, paying a pension, reading the small print, eating five a day, and the list is endless, all come into the same category. It's not the flossing that bothers me it's the judgmental control freak crap. I know most people are not so bad and the dentists and hygienists are often nice people with simple minds and they are just doing their job and trying to get along in a difficult world. But I think you are right that there is a degree of manipulation going on. And when you have been a gullible twit like me for years, walked all over, and you are finally stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe like a piece of chewing gum there seems no escape from the relentless tirade of attempts to make you feel 'wrong'. I suppose it's a bit like the stick and the carrot; But I can't take any more stick. Your approach, of not kowtowing, is the right approach. Oddly it got good results too this time.

My husband turned me onto the little plastic flossing gadgets that have handles. They make getting into the habit of flossing a 'piece of cake'. After 3 years of using them and No Cavities I must say I am a believer.

Bahahahahahahaha! Maybe it's my mood, but this is one of the funniest things you've written. Maybe it's because that's pretty much EXACTLY the same conversation I had with the hygienist last time I had my teeth cleaned. Like you, I attempted to maintain my independence. In fact, I kept it up until just a couple of weeks ago, when I suddenly, for no apparent reason, decided to start flossing. And like you, I realized that there was some nasty crud in my teeth. Now if I'm tempted to crawl into bed without flossing I can't help imagining the goo I KNOW is stuck in there. So gross! I guess I'm a real grown-up now.

I was always an indifferent flosser. I had floss in my bathroom, always. But I only flossed occasionally. But then...I married a "perfect flosser." And for the first year or 18 months, we always got ready for the day and ready for bed together. It wasn't until recently that I realized flossing had become a (good) habit, and that I couldn't stand to go to bed without flossing my teeth.

I am 30 years old and have just become a daily flosser since I had braces put on. My new theory is that this mouth is costing me THOUSANDS of dollars, I better do everything in my power to maintain my investment!

I had a hard time re-developing the habit. I used to be a perfect flosser. I've never had a cavity. Ever. I still go to my dentist. I still get harrassed about flossing. When I got my braces, brused/flossed/rinsed religiously, after anything I ate. I didn't want food in my braces, between my teeth, or stains around where my brackets were.

However, when my braces came off, my orthodontist took a metal file between my teeth, and started SAWING away at my enamel. It KILLS me to drink anything cold or BITE into ice cream... and I can't floss. The sheer sensation of anything between my teeth sends be back to the time of that dang metal file going between my teeth. It makes me cringe. I can feel when stuff is between my teeth, so I will grin and bear it to use some floss and get the guck out. However, it's no longer a regular habit.The dentists also used to play the "gum bleeding" guilt trip on me, too. However, I'm also allergic to mints and salicylates (well it's not a true allergy rather than a sensitivity) - which are found in dang near every mouthwash and toothpaste... and it irritates the heck out of my gums not to mention I go into anaphylactic shock from aspirin (which main ingredient is a salicylic acid). Oi.I'd love to get back into the habit... but... it's so hard. I think now a psychological thing more than ever. I hated my orthodontist. I questioned her and her methods with every fibre of my being. She never answered MY questions and ignored me, and *I* was the one that had to deal with the contraptions she was sticking in my head. Who allows that for their child? :( I know I wouldn't!!

I developed the habit of flossing every time after I eat 10 years ago when I had braces in my early 20's. I of course didn't want to be walking around with food stuck in my braces so I brushed and flossed after each meal. It made me stop snacking too and only eat 3 meals a day cause I knew it was a 10 minute routine after each meal.

Funny, I have a dentist appt w/ the hubs & kids next week.. I was just flossing as I was reading this. So, it made me laugh ! I have a "shameful secret" I had lapsed on going to the dentist regularly for about 15yrs I know what you are thinking !! OMG-GROSS you must have 1 tooth in your head right? NOPE- I actually have a beautiful set of chompers I had braces for 7 yrs. too ! I brush 2x sometimes 3x a day but, never got into the habit of daily flossing until my last dentist appt. my first in 15yrs. ! I've never been so disgusted at myself in my entire life I had to go for a deep scaling it took 45 min. to scrape all the nasty crap from my teeth & then I had to go in AGAIN after a couple weeks to do the rest ANOTHER 45 minutes! It felt like they were breaking off my teeth- that was the hardened plaque- GROSS & it made my gums bleed like hell ! So, while I'm not a perfect flosser even AFTER that horrifying experience I DO try to floss while I'm doing something close to nothing like watching tv. or reading something on the internet.. ! Listerine does help but, flossing combined w/ what i believe really saved my teeth & gums was my ORAL B sonic toothbrush.. The hygenist said, "if I put off going to the dentist I'd have to have gum surgery" That's pretty painful stuff from what I understand " NO THANK YOU!" So, please FLOSS your teeth, gums & heart will thank you !

I work at a dental office, at the front desk. Every time the assistant tells a parent their child needs to floss more, I feel the guilt.. So thats like, 15 times a day. So, do I floss.... Nope... few times a week. am I going to hell.... Yup.

They're right, you know. I never developed the flossing habit either. Now I'm 55 and have about 9 2/3 of my own teeth left. So, yeah. FLOSS, PEOPLE!

For me, it was having a tooth get so rotten it had to be pulled. Luckily for me, it was the last molar in the WAY back, so no one knows, but me. But it was enough. I floss at least once, sometimes twice a day. I use one of those "floss on a stick" tools, because I hate sticking my fingers in my mouth, not to mention losing circulation to the tips of my fingers. But dammit, I do it! ;) And my last cleaning was the easiest I've ever had. So it seems to be working, which makes me want to keep doing it. Funny that. :)

You know what, I never flossed.... my mom never taught me how.... until I got braces in middle school! I was so afraid to smile after I ate... I actually quit talking to people for the first three months I had those things in my mouth! I couldn't take it any more... I learned how to floss and now, 10 years later, I I don't brush, floss, and rinse at least twice a day, I have nightmares that my teeth will fall out! ... and to tell you the truth, even with going through the whole routine twice a day, my dentist still plays the shame game. I think they just get so used to playing it that they expect everyone to have fresh from the dentist clean teeth... sorry charlie, I work in the ER not a dental clinic! High 5 on trying to establish a new good habit :)

Ohhh, the shame game. It's evil. Here is an excerpt about shame and guilt from the novel I'm reading right now. You might find interesting. "There is not enough guilt in the world. There is no way to disarm any man except through guilt. Through that which he himself has accepted as guilt. If a man has ever stolen a dime, you can impose on him the punishment intended for a bank robber and he'll take it. ... If there is not enough guilt in the world, we must create it. If we teach a man it is evil to look at a spring flower and he believes us and then does it - we'll be able to do what we please with him. He won't defend himself. He won't feel he's worth it. But safe us from a man who lives up to his own standards. Save us from a man of clean conscience. He's the man who will beat us." -Dr. Floyd Ferris, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand.

I started flossing regularly on July 5 of this year after my friend who visited me on July 4 shamed me into doing it. It helps that my husband flosses regularly and I use that expensive individual flosser because it's a little easier that way. I went through exactly what you did for years including the promises I broke many times after another horrific cleaning experience. Haven't missed a day since then and no, it's not fun but now I kind of get it....(and instead of Listerine I suggest Crest Pro Health because of the added benefits).

I am not a perfect flosser. Truth be told, I'm not a perfect brusher either... aren't you supposed to do it every time you eat something, or something like that? I"m a morning and nighter, but I don't think we even have floss (not even old floss) in the house. I should be better about that... *shame*

You're funny. Once you start flossing regularly, I bet you will get to the point that you can't go a day WITHOUT it, because it's part of your routine. I FEEL it when I don't floss, and I can't go to sleep if I don't. (I CAN go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink, but not without flossing my teeth. Go figure.)