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Shake Weight. Let’s try not to get lost in the giggles of how ridiculous those things actually look. Or how… ummm… weird they actually are.

Okay, we can giggle for a second. Here’s the “official Shake Weight” commercial.


Honestly, that has nothing to do with today’s post, I just find that commercial to be hillarious. And… ummm… weird.

But seriously. Let’s talk about a WAY better way to work those muscles. A way that doesn’t leave even a super muscle-man panting and saying “whoa, that’s it!” after only seven weak-sauce minutes.

I guarantee if you follow my plan, in 18 years your muscles will be ginormous.

It’s a really simple eleven step program.

This is me lifting Noah at 30 lbs. I've easily added 10 lbs. "to the stack" since this picture.

STEP ONE: Acquire a baby. There are lots of methods to do this. You could have one. I’ve heard that’s fun. You can adopt one. I’ve done that and can recommend this method. You can steal one. Risky, but pays off for some people. However you do it, just get a baby.

STEP TWO: Don’t actually steal a baby. Come on.

STEP THREE: Get a workout by using your baby as a weight-set. Since babies are so small, you can usually hold ’em with one hand which will let you work almost every muscle in your arms, back, chest, and shoulders. Just hold your baby and do whatever you’d do with a dumb bell or one of those freaky kettle balls.

DISCLAIMER: Do not do with your baby whatever you’d do with a Shake Weight. That would cause Shaking Baby Syndrome. And you’d feel bad forever.

STEP FOUR: Get creative to complete STEP THREE.

STEP FIVE: Don’t drop your baby.

>> I wrote this entry and published it on my Babble Voices blog, and I’m only permitted to post a snippet of it here. Read the rest of it and commnet on Danoah Unleashed >>

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!