A Few More Powerful Responses to ‘I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay’

Westboro Baptist church gives every Christian a bad name, and a bad taste in our mouths.  I am appalled by their cruel actions.  Prejudice is a disease as sure as any biological disease.  Prejudice goes many ways. Its only in the breaking d...own of those walls of prejudice that brings understanding of eachother, and ultimately open communication and love between people.  That being said, I had a gay brother, who died from AIDS. Oh how I LOVED him. I accepted his friends, never turning a back on them. He was 12 years younger than me, and of course I still miss him.  During his illness, some of our own family didn't even want to be in the same room withj him for fear of 'catching it'.  I've known musicians, and hairdressers, and even have gay neighbors...but I don't call them the 'gay neighbors' or the gay whatever.  I accept each person as I hope they accept me, because frankly, being 'fat', I have been the target of prejudice myself.  And...well I could go on and on.  Suffice it to say, I love the article.  He was right on!  (I am tired of that phrase on-point)  I hope more people read it.  I am copying this and posting it on his wall.

I will give my little grain here Sandrita, God also said the soul of a sinner is more valued than that of ten righteous man. Only God has the power to Judge our actions and no other mortal. Passing judgement on others is not a christian value at all. The way we live our lives is only your business and that of God. He will at the end decide if being gay was that terrrible or not. You could be gay and still live a much better and righteous life than that of 100 so called 'christians" and that is all. Glad to hear you talk in such great ways. Love you.

I feel for you ... for all the abuse that ignorant Christians give you. But not all of them are the same. I deeply apologize to you on behalf of the christian communities that condemns and are ignorant about homosexuality. God not only condemns homosexuality, but pride, stealing, worshiping idols, abuses of any kind, disrespect to our children,cowards ,adultery, pornography, gossip and the list can go on and on. We are not better than you. "If it wasn't for Christians there will be more Christians". May the lord forgive us for the horrible things we do.and say God Loves you. Begin by changing yourself before you criticize others. You are loved.

Thanks for your challenge, Dan. And thanks for sharing, and making the effort. Most of all, thanks for your courage. My story: a few years ago, my daughter "came out". Now -- although I had bought into the Christian paradigm, for me, the switch had to happen in my religious belief, because it was simply IMPOSSIBLE to hate my daughter. I knew that if I could not possibly hate her, then God couldn't either, because God is certainly more loving than I am. But after reading your post, I realized I've stopped short. I love my daughter dearly, and because of her journey I have met dozens of dear and delightful and wonderful people whose sexual orientation means absolutely nothing to me. But do I stand up for them? Do I courageously take a stand? And what about the others-- the lost, the addicts, the unemployed, the overweight, the other "unlovables"? What have I done to show love for them? I took your challenge, and I've already received backlash from some clueless family members. This is where the real challenge begins for me: can I love a clueless Christian enough to keep gently entreating them to read this message? I hope so. Thanks again for showing me a better way. We all have room for continual growth. There I was, congratulating myself for loving gay people. I am now humbled, as I see I still have a long way to go.

However, I have just read on the Courage website that they have changed their policy (since 2001, I haven't visited their website since then!) as well as their principles, therefore I do not advocate nor do I support any websites or support groups that do not have the Theology of the Body as a basis for their principles.

Check out these links: 

http://www.christopherwest.com/resources/journal/

http://www.christopherwest.com/resources/articles/articles-on-theology-of-the-body/the-theology-of-the-body-the-new-evangelization/

If you are really Christian and are moved by all these stories, you wouldn't be continously encouraging those who believe they are gay or choose this kind of lifestyle as a good and healthy way to live. The healthy alternative is to tell them about Courage or some other similar support group ( http://www.courage.org.uk/ ). 

Wow... I really don't know what to say. I've read your post over and over and finally had the guts to swallow my tears and finally read the responses. I cried still. Fortunately, they were tears of joy. I'm not Christian, but my culture teaches us "what's right, what's wrong" and a number of those follow what you've written here. I had a friend back in high school who I called my brother because he shared the same last name as me and in my culture, sharing the same last name means you're in the same clan, meaning you're practically siblings. At that time, I thought he was a little odd and though we had fun talking together, whenever I saw the other kids who made fun of him showed up, I'd always make up some excuse and run away or if I happened to see him in passing, I'd ignore him or say a quick hi before darting off.

It wasn't until one day when I was headed to the office that I met with him and we chatted to and from there and he confessed to me that he was gay. I was...well, surprised, but not in a good way and not necessarily horrible, but I tried not to show it. He confessed that he'd been so nervous to tell me, because of the backlash he got from some of the other kids, but I told him it was ok and was glad he told me he was because his parents didn’t know and wasn’t sure how to tell him considering he had the heavy burden of being their only son and child. Sadly, I didn’t talk to him since for fear of being ridiculed alongside him and I hated gays… or at least that’s what I had been taught as it was “wrong.” This mode of thinking changed once another good friend of mine came out in my senior year of high school and I’ve come to accept the fact that gays are just like any other person. They’re not “wrong” at all. Unfortunately, by that time, my “brother” had moved away.

Though I've changed how I view people now and love my gay friends and know not to judge people as harshly as I did before, I do regret not being kinder to my "brother." When he needed a "sister," I wasn't there for him, didn't support him and be a friend. Reading your post made me remember him and how stupid I was. I'd really like to talk to him once again and see how he is doing, but I've lost all contact with him since I graduated high school.

Let this be a lesson to all as well as to myself that the time to act is now. Give others the love and compassion you have and that they need. Don't hesitate so that you don't regret.

I remember hearing a quote from Gandhi that said "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." I know that this is something of a generalisation, as there are plenty of Christians who DO practise what they preach, but there are still far too many who use their religion as a stick to beat other people with.

I was raised Catholic. Both my parents were Catholic, although as I got older Mum and Gran started practising less. Dad got really upset about this, and even more so when I informed him that I no longer thought of myself as Catholic. We've had some bang-up fights about it, and ranging onto bizarre topics like whether I'd raise my children to be Catholic or not (I was about 18 when we had that conversation, and children were so not in my immediate future, as indeed they still aren't). I've been really tempted to forward your article to him, but for one thing:

Dad's not good at subtlety. I suspect that he'll read it, say "I have no problems with gays, I used to have a lot of gay friends" and not understand why I would be pointing him at it or how it could possibly relate to him. It makes me kinda sad.

To Be "Christ Like", is to be Loving, Compassionate, Caring, Kind, Respectful and Forgiving to all our fellow human beings!! Treat each other like we ALL matter!! ♥ PS.....We can all be more loving, etc. no matter what our religious backgrounds!! No excuses, No exceptions!!

Thank You Dan, for starting the conversations that we are all having now!

Thank you, Dan, for your words. This particular series of posts has really touched my heart.Being an atheist with a Catholic mother and a Mormon father has been difficult at times, but I've always had unconditional love and support and I'm thankful for that. I also work at a very, VERY Catholic organization where I choose to keep my own religious views hidden because I don't want to deal with the anticipated backlash if I were to open up about it. It's actually not the nuns or the priests that I'm concerned about, most of them I know will still love and accept me regardless of my lack of faith, it's more the over zealous ones who are so quick to pronounce themselves holier than thou that I'm worried about.I love religion, I really do. Religion gives people hope, gives them something to believe in and look towards for guidance. When people don't use it as a shield behind which to stab at others for being different it can be a wonderful thing and there are times where I'm very saddened by the fact that I don't, and can't, believe in any of it because it means I don't get to experience that. Still, you've inspired me. My husband (also atheist) and I are struggling to keep our heads aloft, so the next time I see someone on the streets begging for change, instead of just moving forward because I have nothing to give them, I will offer them something I do have. Love. I will offer a hug and tell them that I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but that all I have to give them is love. Hopefully it will be enough for now.

Love does change things......

Dan,

I am 28 and the same age as your sister. I grew up with you guys in Alpine. I just mention this so that when I say that I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, you know I know where your coming from. I feel like most of my life I've been living a lie, trying to be someone who I am not. I've been trying to fit in to the mold of perfect Mormon mother, wife, sister, etc. and the longer I try, the more unhappy I become. Everything I've been taught my whole life says that "This is the one and only truth, but if you don't believe it, just pray about it and it will be confirmed to you" I've been praying about it for years and the only answer I've ever gotten is "it might be the truth for some, but it's not for you. This is making you unhappy. Really unhappy. and your being miserable is making you a bad mother, wife, sister, ect." Now, the life I feel like I want to be fee to live isn't any big deal. I don't deal with addiction, I'm not gay. But I don't have a testimony of the church and I want to leave it, but I am so afraid. I'm afraid about my family and friends reaction, but mostly about my husband. He loves the church and it is his life. We have two little boys and I just keep thinking that if I do want to leave and live my life as I see fit, our marriage won't survive it. The last thing I want to do is break up my family, but they longer I've been trying to be something I'm not, the worse my misery and the worse my relationship with my husband is getting, even though I'm trying as hard as I can to be what he wants.

My point is that I'm so grateful for your amazing post and I feel like maybe I can have the guts to be true to what I know is right for me. Hopefully my husband read your post and he will just love me unconditionally. Maybe not, but I guess it's time to find out, right? As terrifying as that is.

P.S. I've been so negative about everything for the past couple of years that I look back and I don't even recognize myself anymore. Your post as really inspired me to stop "hating" and start spreading love around. Thank you so much.

I just made a small post on Facebook letting everyone know that I love them. It's not much, but I hope it helps someone. To anyone else reading this, even small gestures like this can touch people and brighten their day. Everything helps, no matter how small.

Dan, I must admit that I've gotten away from reading your blog as regularly as I used to, as is evident in my comments. I've let my own blog slide a bit, but I've got lots of ideas for it. That said, I will definitely take you up on your challenge! I've been meaning to write a bit of a manifesto, and this might be the little nudge I needed to get started. I'll let you know when it's done. Congratulations, and thank you for being a positive force in our world.

This piece had the opposite effect for me and I lost a so-called friend. The first time I shared it the person in question liked it before reading it. The second time she must have read it because long story short it was one of the ways I had attacked her for her Christianity and I was shoving my beliefs down her throat. Good riddance crazy.

Dan- The original post was very touching to me. I have always felt the same way. I have made it a point to love the person, even if I didn't agree with what they did. I had an experience a few months back where I got to reconnect with someone I had previously been very close to. The situation made me very sad for this one reason... Because of the prevailing hatred for homosexuals, and because it so often comes from religious people, this person assumed that I would not love and accept her-because I am religious. She lives on the other side of the country and has for the last 15 or so years, so I couldn't be around much anyway, but I was finally (after 15 years) able to talk to her, and make the point to her that I will always love her, no matter what she chooses to do. We have talked so much since that point and I'm so grateful for it!

I couldn't help but feel the pain for those who have lost relationships because of this, and feel somewhat hurt myself, because of the relationships in my own life that have been damaged, not because of anything that was ever actually done, but rather because there are so many religious people who don't love--that then when something happens that "the steriotypical Christian" would stop loving for it is just assumed that I would stop loving them too. There are 3 other people that I can think of right now that I am searching for, who have assumed that I could not love them because of the things they do that our friendships have been severed. But its not about what you do, its about who you are! And as a Christian I believe that God says you are wonderful! Who am I to argue with God? I am not the one to assign value to anyone or anything! He is!

Thank you Dan for your strong words! They are inspirational, and it always helps when someone agrees with how I feel :)

There's a cold season, a flu season and a season for loving... LETS START AN EPIDEMIC!!!

I have always been one who never understood why people hated others because they are "lesser". Judgment gets us absolutely nowhere. In the day and age we live in now people should know that we all have our ups and our downs. I currently work at a large retail store with a man who owned his own limo business making 100k a year. He's a cashier now just trying to make ends meet. Those people that are homeless have a story, they are a human being. My own husband used to be homeless when he was a teenager. His entire family turned their back to him because he managed to get himself into drugs and just made some bad choices. He is now a college graduate, amazing husband and father to our 4 year old son, and is holding down a job that pays better then most of his family sees in 3 years. All it takes is that one person to help you. All it takes is that one person to say "Do you need any help?". All it takes is that person who isn't judging you on where you are now, but can imagine your dreams with you. All it takes is on person. Be that one person for someone.

This blog has been the absolute BEST blog I've ever read. You are honest, you are a loving father, you are a beautiful person. Keep it up. <3

im left in tears, both happy and sad ones. sad that some have found themselves in such horrible places in their lives-how they have been treated by those who are supposed to love and protect them unconditionally. and happy for the wonderful things your post has done not only for those suffering but for the eye-opening of those who have ostricized. i am very thankful that i grew up in a house that was only prejudiced against cruelty and ignorance. and it wasnt a lesson talked about or stressed daily, its just the way we lived. my husband and i have many gay friends, friends of different religions, different views on raising children, you name it. just because we are different, doesnt mean we dont love them. i have a child and another on the way, and i dont have any fears of them being different from the popular mainstream. i love them no matter what, i dont worry if they are gay. wouldnt even blink at it. what i worry about is they may be treated the way many of your responders have been treated. i cant understand it. i cant understand what makes a person say those things, turn away those they love, or even to pass on a harsh word to someone they dont know. it completely escapes me. i love that you took the courage to write this and i love even more what a powerful effect it has had on even just one, but obviously so many. THANK YOU!

I really loved the original post. I felt sick at the two hateful responses you shared. And overjoyed that something as simple as a blog... Could change a life.God wants us to love. To love unconditionally. There can be no "I love you BUT..." It can only be "I love you." Period. The end. To anyone, to everyone. Just think how the world would change if we all did our best to demonstrate unconditional love... to everyone. If you won't do it because God wants you to... Do it because somewhere, deep down, you know it's right. Do it because loving someone... Is easier than hating them.There are two responses to everything... A hateful one that leaves you feeling negative, angry, even ashamed of yourself because you know it was wrong... And a loving one... That leaves you feeling damned good about yourself. You feel good about yourself. They feel good about you AND themselves... It's a win win answer... And it's just... so easy.

I was thankful to read your original post. I have always felt the same way about such issues and yet have always had a hard time getting others to understand the purpose or the meaning of loving unconditionally. It was nice to read and know that I was truly not the only person out there that sees life this way. I have too many people I know (who will not ever be named, I love them anyway) who unknowingly belittle and judge or intentionally mock and stone anyone they feel is doing poorly in life or is not living in their example. Its not our individual right or position in life to kick someone while they are down or to be cold to them because of the choices that they have made in their own life. We all have a heart, we all have a soul; we all bleed and we all hurt when we are beat down. What would it hurt to look right passed the obstacle to see someone for who they actually are? All that I know is that it is apparently harder for some than others. I myself have been the butt end of jokes and mocking and thus the reason I do my best to live life with a full heart. I don't want to be hated, and I don't want to be lied too, so I don't hate, and I don't lie (well... too often, Santa can't fit down the chimney anymore, he just magically appears lol. He has new technology thanks to Apple. Sorry girls lol). I hope that in some way I am an example to all of the people around me. I hope that anyone that I come across will only ever see me being mindful of my heart and the hearts of others. Cause I know 100% without a doubt, My actions, even the smallest ones can cause a ripple affect on others. And I would hate to be the one that causes sadness in the heart of another. Thank you for sharing this topic with us all. I have appreciated it.

I feel blessed just to be reading this. *AWEsome*

Thank you so much. I needed this. I am up to your challenge to spread the love. This year has been so incredibly hard for me, my family, friends, and many people I know. Hopefully the love will spread and touch everyone, even those who didn't know they needed it.