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Love your neighbor as yourself? No thanks.

Yesterday I traveled into the fictional yet all-too-real mind of a person who hated himself (me) in my post The Benefits of Hating Yourself. Today I want to explore the true and real-life consequences of living that way, and then have a discussion about how it might apply to all of us. I hope that’s okay.

But before I do, I’d like to thank you all for the discussion that happened after yesterday’s post. As a writer, it is terrifying to write something like that, let alone share it with the world. My hope was that it would stand on its own and I wouldn’t need to explain that it was a cumulative look at the unhealthy ways that people who dislike themselves look at both themselves and at others. It was my hope to shine a light on the many masks that are worn in each person’s attempt to overcome their greatest insecurities. It was my hope that sharing such a dark piece of how I have been in the past (and how I sometimes still find myself to be) would push others to lift their own masks for a moment and evaluate how much of the way they look at others is connected to the way they look at themselves.

You all made my day and bedded my worries because instead of judging me harshly  for those truths, you stood next to me and put your arm around me instead. Many of you shared that you saw yourselves in that post, either now or in the past. So, for what it’s worth… thank you. And with that, I give you the next installment of the series.

 

Love your neighbor as yourself? No thanks.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I’ve seen that quoted probably more than a hundred times in the comments following the I’m Christian, unless you’re gay post. It really does seem like such an affecting and beautiful directive at first glance.

I’ve heard it quoted my entire life. I’ve recited it my entire life. It comes from the bible. According to Christians, Jesus declared it the second greatest commandment, second only to loving God.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

But, come on.

Love your neighbor as yourself?

Ummm… no thank you.

I’m being unfacetiously sincere when I ask, could there ever be a more debilitating and more damaging mandate given to the human race?

I truthfully don’t think so. At least not in the world you and I currently live in.

Now, before you draw and quarter me for ostensible sacrilege, read what I have to say, really think about it, and tell me if you don’t agree with me by the end of what I’ve written today.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

It hasn’t worked out for me very well.

You see… I loved my first wife “as myself.”

I looked for fault in her. I looked for sneakiness and ambiguity in almost everything she did. I suspected her of insincerity and deceitfulness. I believed her intentions were most often malicious, far too direct, and purposefully hurtful.

And, without the slightest bit of uncertainty, I knew she had never really loved me, didn’t truly love me, and never would actually love me.

Because of that, I anticipated the worst from her. I expected to be hurt. I expected contention. I expected repugnance. I expected disdain.

I resented her. I disliked her. I begrudged her.

And, throughout our entire marriage, I reviled her more often than not. I wanted our marriage to end. I wanted out.

I loved my second wife “as myself,” as well.

I looked for incompatibility with her. I kept watch for inconsistency in what she did and in everything she said. I looked for any and all weakness and I was quick to help her see it whenever I could find it, which was far too often.

I kept vigilant watch for her to regret her marriage vows to me. I looked for her to mourn the loss of her life without me. I looked for her to become acrimonious about how quickly we met and how quickly our relationship intensified. I sat with baited-breath, waiting for her to admit that I was nothing more than an unhealthy ricochet of a relationship for her and for myself.

And, without the slightest bit of uncertainty, I knew she had never really loved me, didn’t truly love me, and never would actually love me.

Because of that, I anticipated the worst from her. I expected to be hurt. I expected contention. I expected repugnance. I expected disdain.

I resented her. I disliked her. I begrudged her.

And, throughout our entire marriage, I disliked her more often than not. I wanted our marriage to end. I wanted out.

That first marriage eventually ended.

So did the second.

And get this… throughout both marriages, I thought I was a powerful beacon of a human being. I actually believed that I was an incredible person. I just knew that I was so much better than just about every person that surrounded me. I was the guy who was loving and kind to his wife. I was the guy who brought her flowers and constantly and publicly declared my love and admiration for her. I was the guy who had it all together. I was the rock.

My first marriage ending wasn’t my fault.

It couldn’t be.

My second marriage ending definitely wasn’t my fault.

In fact, I was so convinced of it, I’d look God himself in the eyes and tell him so. That’s how blind I was to my own buried, secret, self-loathing behaviors.

And while the demise of my marriages weren’t my fault, nothing else was seemingly my fault either.

Sigh.

Continued on next page.

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182 comments
dbcoop
dbcoop

Thats right, I work for what I have because I respect and love myself.

If I can't afford it I wait.

I have never had cable TV!

And had comcast internet for a month.

Got my first cell phonea 15 months ago and use that as my wifi.

I'm 50 years old. I don' t spoil myself,

Look at the welfare people, they have I phones $100.00 nail jobs and fubu coats,

zavalamartin92
zavalamartin92

You got it all wrong. First you have to treat yourself kindly, forgive yourself of your mistakes, be honest with yourself, take care of your body, accept yourself, then you can treat others kindly and loving because you'll be more understanding of them, you'll be more honest with them, you'll forgive them, and you'll accept them. As it turns out,  how people perceive other people is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. So treat yourself kindly first then treat others kindly. You'll be surprised with how loving you can actually be and how good you can feel making the world a better place.

And if you love someone you don't expect the worst. If you love someone you stop trying to control or predict and you start being vulnerable and trusting them because its the only way to love. And be understanding because everybody makes mistakes and everybody takes their anger(fear) out on other people.


If you choose to love you will be vulnerable, and will probably get hurt a lot of times but you will come to realize that love and feeling all these deep emotions is well worth getting your feelings hurt every once in a while.

dbcoop
dbcoop

Right on, I got a cell phone 4 YEARS ago, cable & internet 1 year ago, shut it off, now use my cell phone as a hot spot, have a 2005 car, I'm 55 years old.20 year olds with no job and a baby don't need cars and phone cable etc.

Lauren
Lauren

I've always taken it to mean... take care of others are you take care of yourself. If they need clothing, food, shelter, whatever... make their needs as important as your needs. :)

jjlin
jjlin

I think you wrote a very insightful post. Thank you.

Have you ever thought about whether all the expectations and criticisms that you had for others, is how you love yourself? You want them to live according to your rules, according to your standards, according to what you think is "love." And you did all these things for your own approval. In a way you were judging them according to your own standards for your own pleasure. 

Is it possible that you were loving only yourself, and not loving others, but treating others how you treat yourself? You love yourself. You do what you want to do. You go where you want to go. You eat what you want to eat. You are always serving yourself. But it does not seem like you were doing the same for others... 

Svasquez
Svasquez

Love someone as urself will not come untill you have encounter the love of God...In loving God you will understand this of "loving your neighbor as yourself. Even if the other person don't live you...The verse in the Bible is refering to us not that others should love us for us to love them. We all can suspect, assume, and even judge that others "don't love us" but the true meaning of this verse is loving back even if u get hurt, loving even u dont get love back. And that is not easy. Iv'e been hurt many times...maybe not like you, but hurt is hurt. And pain is pain. So I invite you to know this God that I know..This God that can show you how to love. God bless :)

Its in the book
Its in the book

So after you love yourself, you would do things that are an abomination Leviticus 18:21-23.

My drunk lazy unemployed friend I love but he is wrong.

As a Christian I love but realize we must repent

MADDSCIENTIST
MADDSCIENTIST

Every general statement is cornerstoned by basic assumptions which define it. As many have already stated defining and then living love sheds all the misery you have masochistically bestowed on yourself. For some reason I figured this (love) out somewhat and fairly early and came to the conclusion that love is what equalizes us all. And thus would generally put others needs before mine and generally received the same in return. When the return wasn't close to the investment I gradually titrated my self from that relationship. I have been the best man in 5 weddings, and co-best man in 2 more (all hetero).

 

My philosophy with women was not as grand as I eventually learned I needed to much freedom and or the relationship was obviously to toxic. There are women who have had such rotten childhoods that the closer they get to love the more scared & scarier they get. I, in all my self purported brilliance, could not find the way past their inner fears & hatreds (all completely explainable and obviously not their will) to their damaged hearts. I may have come up with an approach  i need to engage with a certain past good soul -- an open forward expression of love with a good dose of both of us needing to realize why we haven't been able to really connect -- keeping the focus on me and what I could have done differently. In any love relationship the only person you can point a finger at is yourself. Reciprocity is the hoped for result. This will be a real test of my courage.

 

Then again, before I was diagnosed ADD Bipolar 2 I could not see the concerns of a great woman (who's mother was bipolar), as i manically ruined what could have been the love of my life. 

 

Eventually these disorders put many of my best friendships to the test. After reality (and a great psychiatrist) again had shown its staggering insights i found what true friends I had. Lost one but who cares -- I still have the best of the best who forgave and understood my more than eccentric expressions. I have at least 5 friends who would leave work or whatever they were doing, as would I them, if I needed them. 

 

Who ever said that "true friends are gifts of the gods" couldn't have been more right. i would be no one without them.

 

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

 

Over the years I volunteered as a suicide life line counselor, a hospice counselor, adult literacy, an operation that gave clothes and house neccesities to the needy and a general do-gooder to those who needed it. All were rewarding!

 

Best, Jerry

 

 

 

Tiffani
Tiffani

The way you approach the statement "Love you neighbor as yourself" depends entirely on how you define love. I've always interpreted this statement as "Treat others the way you would like to be treated". Because while what you have said is very true - we as human beings are fraught with insecurities, self-doubt, and even self-loathing - it is also true that every single one of us desires to be treated with love. So when we step outside our bubble and love others in same manner we desire to be loved, I think loving ourselves will come naturally. Loving yourself is the effect, and not the cause, of loving others.

LBH
LBH

Thank you so much! You made me more Christian that I've never been with your post. I felt God, and I felt Jesus message much deeper in my heart.

Mxcrn
Mxcrn

I just have one question... I read The Benefits of Hating Yourself and then this article, but you mentioned that you'd write a follow-up article in the following week. I checked the archives and I have yet to find the article. Coulsd someone please post a link to those? Thanks!

Rhonda Gray
Rhonda Gray

well you are not alone...in being alone. Self bashing never helps.

BarbChamberlain1
BarbChamberlain1

Self-love is pretty audacious stuff because it means we're worthy of being loved.

A while ago I blogged (far less powerfully!) on this general theme as it relates to the food we eat and our supposed high levels of self-esteem.

If we cared about other people--those people who grow, pick, process, and transport the food we eat since most of us don't grow our own any more--the way we care about ourselves we would not accept the systems we have that create pollution, deformed babies born to people exposed to too many chemicals in countries that don't regulate them, and all the rest.

You've given me another way of thinking about it, though--that we can ignore what's happening to them because we ignore what's happening to ourselves.

I discovered your blog tonight thanks to a friend posting "I'm Christian, unless you're gay" on Facebook. I'm subscribing now. I love your Twitter bio that says you hope to write things that punch us in the gut. You're doing it. Keep it up.

(My post: http://biketoworkbarb.blogspot.com/2011/01/if-you-really-love-your-neighbor-youll.html)

mDaniel
mDaniel

I get where you're coming from and agree that more people (including myself) need to learn how to love themselves. But I do disagree with your views on "love your neighbour as you love yourself". You weren't describing how you loved yourself, you were describing all of the other feelings you had towards yourself. I believe it is to only be applied to the feeling of love. It means that you should treat others in a way that you would like to be treated. Not to transfer all of the emotions you have about yourself onto other people. Thank you for your posts I am enjoying reading them and really reflecting on my life.

LiqueArdena
LiqueArdena

I've always read the "as" in the line as more of a "while" instead of a "like". "Love your neighbor like you love yourself"? No thanks. "Love your neighbor while loving yourself"? Much better.

Eowyn9
Eowyn9

The quote in my inbox this morning was:

"For those who really learn to be just, their first lesson is what Christ has taught: 'Judge not, that ye be not judged.' One may say, 'If one does not judge, how can one learn justice?' But it is the one who judges himself who can learn justice, not the one who is occupied in judging others. In this life of limitations if one only explores oneself, one will find within oneself so many faults and weaknesses, and when dealing with others so much unfairness on one's own part, that for the soul who really wants to learn justice, his own life will prove to be a sufficient means with which to practice justice."

Again very apropos for this discussion! :)

khulani
khulani

Great read! This may seem out of left field... but I see the struggles with "loving neighbor as yourself" as a systemic problem. Unfortunately our survival is dependent on being better than other people. In order to get a job, the hiring manager has to like one person better than another. And obviously, you need a job to survive. Forgive me for injecting my anti-ownership agenda. But I think it's very relevant to love. We can't live in a world where we love our neighbors as ourselves if we have to be in a better position than others just to own resources that we need to live. If earth resources were distributed equally, we could decouple the need to be better with the need to survive. Then, we can truly love more freely and honestly.

CorryJuneHao
CorryJuneHao

All I can say is www.flylady.net ... all about learning to love yourself and completely free :-) teaches you how to take care of yourself first then bleeds down into your home and your family.

much2bdesired
much2bdesired

Well, for one thing that statement meant something different back in Jesus' day- for another I believe that it means that we would desire the best in us and honestly we try to think the best of ourselves. We should give our neighbors the same respect. We like to imagine that we're the hero in every scenario, as you said- it's not our fault that something goes wrong, we didn't mean to hurt someone, etc etc. Instead of us immediately assuming the worst of our neighbor (they did it on purpose, they're spiteful etc etc) we should view them the same way. That's how I see it anyway. :)

Victoria Cummings Natusch
Victoria Cummings Natusch

if you can here fred rogers.... I'd love to have you as my neighbor... and love you like a neighbor should. Just sayin Dan-- you rock. Noah does too but he's no match for Andrew.... Andrew can cook anything!

Tracy Johnson
Tracy Johnson

Thus the true seeds of wisdom are planted when you first take those steps on discovering WHO you really are. I also began a journey of self-discovery after a series of tragedies disrupted my life. I discovered I'd been hiding myself because of the expectations of others. I loved and trusted people who were critical of me to the point where I could do no right, which lowered my self-esteem without me ever realizing it.

kanned
kanned

I believe the meaning of the phrase "love your neighbour as yourself" actually means "love your neighbor as you love yourself" - so even if you only have a tiny bit of love for yourself, you would show at the minimum that same amount of love to others (not less, which would the natural human reaction, aka survival of the fittest, I get the last piece of food or whatever). Not (as you have said), that the negative- non-loving feelings towards yourself are what you should give to others just because you feel that way towards yourself. He didn't say "have the same feelings towards others as you have towards yourself" but only LOVE. So only love applies. If you hate yourself, you have no love to give, so you would have to get to the point of being able to love yourself in order to give love. This also ties into the "golden rule" of do unto others as you would have them do to you... so if you want to be treated with love and respect, you treat others that way. SO basically to me, imbedded into the love your neighbour as yourself rule is that you have to love yourself too. If you are not able to love yourself, then you are not able to love others. If you do love yourself, loving others will be much easier. And I think it works vc vs as well, when you love others it becomes easier to love yourself. And if you start with the first of the "greatest" commandments, of loving God with your whole heart and soul and mind... loving yourself and loving others will both fall into place anyways, because you will understand how much God loves you and others too! :) SO, I disagree with your interpretation of that phrase, but I do agree that IF you interpretation was right, it wouldn't be a good idea (to project onto others how you feel about yourself). But Jesus' love for us is liberating and frees us to love ourselves and others the way we were meant to!

JonathanMartin
JonathanMartin

I`ve struggled with similar issues as you describe... until I came to know Jesus as my Savior. Before then, I was simultaneously self-righteous and self-loathing. I was sure I was the best person in the world, but at the same time felt this persistent inadequacy. Getting to know Jesus changed my life. I learned to not value myself based on what others thought. This left me free to love unconditionnally, unworried about the sincerity of others. God`s love for me is sincere; that`s enough for me. At the same time I have been humbled. I know that on my own I am a wreck. Everything I am comes from God. I have nothing to glorify myself about. I have no need to compare myself to anyone. What I am is what God made me to be. I want to be the best I CAN BE, not the best at everything out there. I praise God for those who can do things better than I. I am content with my small contribution to this world.

slmackley
slmackley

I have to disagree with you Dan, "love others as you love yourself" is a wonderful lesson - whether you are healthy or not. It sounds like you have been battling depression for a long time and are now finally at a point in your life where you can see yourself for who you really are - then and now. You mentioned that it is impossible to love others more than yourself. Because that is the extent to how much you are able to love, it is the best you can do. Just think of how you would have treated others if you had not loved them as much as you love yourself.

JenniferO'Dell
JenniferO'Dell

Most of your links in this post that are supposed to go to yesterday's post, come right back to this one.... just FYI. Oh and I said most, cuz I didn't click them all... Yet.....

JenniferO'Dell
JenniferO'Dell

well said... not many people find the maturity to be able to self-analyze and be honest with themselves... it hurts. But the best people I know have done this, and thankfully, I have as well. Remember, the journey IS the destination. Thank you (once again) for sharing your soul. Hugs, jen

LucySkyDiamonds
LucySkyDiamonds

I really like how this ties in with "I'm Christian, Unless You're Gay" I think it really is a profound idea, and it takes some digesting before we can really accept there is truth to it. I think I have seen more of this come to the forefront with Face Book. I see how certain people always have negative responses to anything I post. Even the harmless, "Tried a new recipe tonight and it turned out great!" can illicit snide remarks. I see how people tear eachother down...sometimes it is very vague and sometimes it isn't. I find myself thinking thoughts too....but lately I have been stopping myself from posting anything but encouraging words to others. But I found myself hiding my insecurities behind humor....and the humor was always at someone else's expense. It's such an easy pattern to slip into....

KatharineGeary
KatharineGeary

What my therapist said, "Nobody can love you into loving yourself." And you know what? I can't love you till I love myself. Because I can't give what I don't have. Learning to love myself has been a process and it took help from a phenomenal therapist.

"The same mind that came up with the problem cannot come up with the solution." I couldn't pull loving myself out of my empty resources- I needed someone who had already been down this path's experience, wisdom, support and challenges.

Faith McCausland
Faith McCausland

I think that it might be one of the hardest things a person can do, to stand up and say, "all that stuff I blamed everyone else for? It was my fault. I made it happen."

Yes, there are instances in which we ARE victimized. Violent crimes, natural disasters, etc... but when every friendship and every relationship ends the same.. when the same patters occur over and over and you think, is the world really full of THIS MANY shitty people? .... You HAVE to start looking at yourself, if you want to find a way to change it.
You don't have to change who you are .... but yes, you have to learn to love yourself. I'm not even close to being there, but the first step is admitting it, right?
Sometimes I still have a hard time admitting it. God, I want to blame some of those men that hurt me.. and them hurting me in the ways they did, THAT wasn't my fault, but me hanging onto the hurt and anger all this time and letting it affect other potentially great relationships/friendships afterwards? That was only hurting myself, and it IS my fault. There are plentiful quotes about how when you hold onto a grudge the only person you're hurting is you. And that's true. I watch these people who have hurt me go on to live very happy, fulfilled lives, and ...
I'm left behind, still in my rut.
They may have done some really crappy stuff, but they came to a point one day where they had that realization. They started to love themselves despite all the reasons they could have hated themselves.
So they found happiness.

and I haven't, because I haven't been able to fully let go of all that yet. I haven't been able to love myself.... I cry every day. EVERY day.. multiple times.. I lock myself in the bathroom and wish I could slit my wrists or overdose on pills because I'm not a good enough mom for my kids. Because I haven't been able to find the energy or resources to take my kids to do anything fun lately. I can't drive anywhere, and it's cold... and my work hours are insane.. we pulled my 6 yr old out of school because of all the transportation and financial difficulties PLUS the realization that she's a grade and a half ahead of her class... my mom offered to homeschool her, but she's NOT. She's not homeschooling her.. she's focusing on her own youngest kids at home (13-15). Sophia spends her ENTIRE day online. Sometimes doibng education stuff, yeah, but often just messing around playing games on facebook, making silly groups, etc.
My 2.5 yr old son knows how to work netflix like a pro and spends all day either watching his favorite cartoons or playing angry birds, unless he gets a hankering to break a carton of eggs when I turn my back for five minutes or get into my makeup and paint the house and himself a different color.

If I find it in me to read a story to my daughter at night before bed, I congratulate myself. When I come home from work at 5 am I sneak into their rooms and watch them sleep, and cry, knowing that they went to bed without me and that if I allow myself a "nap", they will also wake up without me.

I have driven a multitude of friends away with my own misery and by blaming them for.. well... you know, being that ugly mirror.
So I'm left basically alone, now. I mean, really... alone. And left wondering how the hell to fix it.

Lisa Kuhn
Lisa Kuhn

It may be the wrong post Rachel, but an awesome idea!!!!

Wade Long
Wade Long

I've loved a number of my neighbors.

No paternity suits yet.

Faithypants
Faithypants

I think that it might be one of the hardest things a person can do, to stand up and say, "all that stuff I blamed everyone else for? It was my fault. I made it happen."Yes, there are instances in which we ARE victimized. Violent crimes, natural disasters, etc... but when every friendship and every relationship ends the same.. when the same patters occur over and over and you think, is the world really full of THIS MANY shitty people? .... You HAVE to start looking at yourself, if you want to find a way to change it.You don't have to change who you are .... but yes, you have to learn to love yourself. I'm not even close to being there, but the first step is admitting it, right?

Mrs McGinty
Mrs McGinty

The Freedom in Christ course is amazing...I would reccomend it to anybody who feels hatred for themselves: http://www.ficm.org.uk/the_fic_course/contents

Our Daily Choice

Christians have a new heart and a new spirit, but we still struggle with many of the unhelpful ways of thinking and behaving that we grew up with (a primary characteristic of what the Bible calls “the flesh”). However, we don’t have to give in to the flesh. We can choose day by day and moment by moment whether to live according to the flesh’s urges or according to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Demolishing Strongholds

The environment in which we grew up, traumatic experiences in the past, and giving in to temptation have led to the development of “strongholds” in our minds, which prevent us living according to the truth. Becoming a Christian does not instantly change the way we have learned to think, but we can demolish strongholds by choosing actively to renew our minds to the truth of God’s Word.

CherylAnnWood
CherylAnnWood

I got saved when I was 29. I was severely depressed and wanted to end it all. I needed to be saved. I would be dead without Jesus. He is the lifter or heads and the humbler of hearts. I am nothing apart from him. Knowing him as my friend, I am nothing apart from him. He and I have been on a journey since that time almost 13 years ago....I am in the process of becoming. I am becoming more the woman of God I was created to be. He loves me enough not to leave me back where I was, or where I am today. I have gotten so much healing, I am not the same person. I think back on my life and it feels like I'm talking about someone else's life. I appreciate your journey, but I want to say that it isn't about us trying to be good enough or making our selves better. I believe that we have to have Jesus to do this healing work. One prayer time with Him was more effective than years and years of therapy. I know that it is work, but what is the other option? I just wanted the chance to say all that, but mostly to say, "Jesus love you." Each of you. You just have to say yes to Him. Just consider who he is.

Eowyn9
Eowyn9

I'm on a Sufi mailing list (at http://wahiduddin.net) and this morning I got the following quote in my inbox:

"No doubt, life is difficult for many of us, but very often we make it even more difficult for ourselves. When we do not understand the real nature and character of life we make our own difficulties. I can assure you that in every man's life five percent of his difficulties are brought about by the conditions of life, and ninety-five percent are difficulties caused by himself.

Now you will ask: When the difficulties come from ourselves, where do they come from? We do not like struggle in life, we do not like strife, we only want harmony, we only want peace. It must be understood, however, that before making peace, war is necessary, and that war must be made with our self. Our worst enemy is our self: our faults, our weaknesses, our limitations. And our mind is such a traitor! What does it? It covers our faults even from our own eyes, and points out to us the reason for all our difficulties: others! So it constantly deludes us, keeping us unaware of the real enemy, and pushes us towards those others to fight them, showing them to us as our enemies."

VERY true & perfect timing for this discussion, I thought!

LorindaAdams
LorindaAdams

Still scary, though.. particularly if you've tried it in the past and had an unfortunate number of people respond with a dagger in your ribs instead of a smile or hug in return.

Anitra Chapman
Anitra Chapman

Eloquent and powerful as usual! Keep it coming! I am always better for reading what you share.

JonathanMartin
JonathanMartin

@khulani Your comment illustrates beautifully the importance of faith in carrying out this principle. The Bible promises that if we consent to die to ourselves (i.e. to live for others) God will make up the difference and give us more than if we had kept it for ourselves. See

Cast your bread upon thewaters, For you will find it after many days. Ecclesiastes 11:2

See also Luke 18:18-30

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2018&version=NKJV

CorryJuneHao
CorryJuneHao

btw fly stands for finally loving yourself :-)

Its in the book
Its in the book

 @kanned 

Because of the amount of love I have for myself.

I go to work

Feel guilty when I do wrong.

 

I have an old 13" TV

 

Shut off comcast and got Unlimited 4g that in a year will pay for the tablet

 

Live a simply life

 

The bible has standards for life, so I will not aid people who don't believe in jesus and try to live up to those standards

and when failing to do so repent

 

 

 

Mrs McGinty
Mrs McGinty

Handling emotions well

We can’t control our emotions directly but they are, in a general sense, the result of what we choose to believe. If we don’t have a proper understanding of God and His Word, and who we are in Christ, it will be signalled to us through our emotions. Failure to handle emotions well may make us vulnerable to spiritual attack. The more we commit ourselves to the truth and choose to believe that what God says is true, the less our feelings will run away with us.

Forgiving from the heart

Our relationship with others must have the same basis as our relationship with God. Nothing keeps you in bondage to the past more, or gives the enemy more entrance to your life, than an unwillingness to forgive. The crisis of forgiveness is not so much between you and the person who has offended you, but between you and God. Learning to forgive from the heart sets us free from our past and heals our emotional pain. It’s really for your sake that you do it.

Mrs McGinty
Mrs McGinty

Relating To Others

Jesus’ great commandment says we are to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls and minds, and to love our neighbour as ourselves. That sums up the whole Biblical message. We are called to love God and one another. We cannot have a righteous relationship with God to the exclusion of others. A right relationship with God should lead to a right relationship with our neighbours. In this session we will consider rights, responsibilities, judgment, discipline, accountability and the needs of others.