Six days ago, I posted I’m Christian, unless you’re gay. The response has been overwhelming (to say the least). Nearly half a million people have already read it. Nearly 2,000 comments have come in. It’s seen the greatest first-week traffic of any post I’ve ever shared here on SDL.
As I hit the “publish” button last Monday evening, I honestly feared it would be the end of Single Dad Laughing. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just really scary to attempt to write something that, if done incorrectly, could anger not just one part of the population but nearly every part of the population. That post covers some very hot ground. I think you’d agree.
But I also said in the beginning of that post that, in order to finally write it and publish it, I had to care more about the message than I did about any potential backlash. That was more of a pep talk I was giving myself in order to keep from hitting the “trash” link on yet another draft of it.
Anyway, I’ve read just about every single comment that has come through and I won’t lie… I was brought to tears several times by some of the things that were shared. I don’t think anybody could read through the comments without being at least somewhat changed. But what you all didn’t get to see were the hundreds of personal emails that I received in the wake of the post
Some were horrific. They testified of the need for the message beyond anything that I ever read in the comments. A couple were threatening and attacking. Others guaranteed that my passage to hell was assured. Thankfully, the vast majority were kind and encouraging and full of hope.
There have also been a handful that have been so powerful that they momentarily flipped my world upside down. There have been a handful that have melted me down into a puddle of emotion, unable to speak for fear I’d lose whatever was causing my heart to pound. Some of these were powerful in their beauty. Others in their ugliness.
I tried to read some of these aloud to the woman I’ve recently started dating. I couldn’t finish most of them. I couldn’t even start others.
I’ll be sharing a couple of less than beautiful responses first, and I only do so because I believe they will make the others that much more powerful. It’s the beautiful responses that are most important, and I want to share with you those responses that meant more than the world to me when I received them. To some degree, they’ve changed the very definition of who I am. They made me realize that no matter how anybody responds to this post, it’s already been worth it. I’ve shared two of these on the Facebook wall with you already, so forgive me for those that some of you might have seen already.
Each response on this post will be on its own page, mostly so that you can share links to individual responses on Facebook and Twitter if you like. The first two are among the responses I received that I feel prove the need for this message. The last five prove the power of living the message. The power of giving. And, the power of love even when we disagree with one another.
At the end of this post I have a challenge for you. I seriously hope you take me up on it.
I also hope you’ll share this post. I hope you’ll encourage everybody you know to come read it. These responses are a hundred times more powerful than anything I could ever write, I promise you that. You see, my original post was made of words and ideas. Hope. Encouragement. Love. What you will read today are all real-life examples of those words and ideas.
I realize that a lot of you received your own dose of backlash on the links you posted to the original post. Reposting it took serious guts for many of you. I hope the small amount of backlash you saw didn’t scare you from sharing the message but instead enforced the need for you to share the message all the more. That’s what it’s done for me, at least.
More than anything, I hope that these messages serve as all the proof you need that sometimes posting a link does a whole lot more than just putting text in front of a person’s face. Sometimes leaving a comment does a whole lot more than just saying what you want to say. Sometimes lives are changed. Sometimes families are changed. Sometimes communities are changed. And ultimately, sometimes, the world.
Click on page 2 below to read the first response.
I know plenty of people who use Christianity to judge others for anything, including being gay. Jesus had nothing whatsoever to say on the subject, but did say 'whosoever is without sin cast the first stone'. I am Christian and I don't care at all whether someone is gay or not. It's not a choice, or there would not be gays in states like Alabama. I prefer the Christian message of love and tolerance. If God whats to send people to hell for being gay, that's his job.
I have become a lot more tolerant and kind in the last 15 years (or at least willing to publicly say it and do it) and have been a much happier person for it.
Wow. Powerful stuff.
When I first read I'm Christian Unless You're Gay, it really impacted me as a lesbian who was once a devout and spiritual Christian. I wanted everyone to read it. I felt so wounded by the Christian Church that turned its back on me. Your post gave me hope that Christians might exist who believed in what was once so meaningful to me. About a year ago I somehow found a beautiful loving community at a UCC that welcomes gay people. After feeling banished from the Church for two decades, I found a home. Together we're working on feeding the hungry and the homeless, working for social justice, and creating a safe and loving space where all are welcome. Perhaps I would have found this community without the impact of your post, but I'm sure that it helped open my heart to give love a chance.
@a grateful reader
Just curious, what is UCC? I have heard of Unitarian Universalist, which welcomes gays with open arms (and pretty much anyone else that wants to feed the hungry and homeless, work on social justice and create a safe and loving space.
@modernmom23 It's the United Church of Christ.
I just responded to the second nasty response email in my blog. Please have a read.
http://rufflesrosesandlace.blogspot.ca/2013/02/hatred-hurts-you-guys.html
I have spent the last four decades trying to live up to my own personal philosophy "Save the world, one person at a time, through kindness." I fall down or fail sometimes and sometimes the deluge of ugly, hateful and negative responses from the world is disheartening and I get so tired I grind to a stop. Then someone I lent a hand to (or put an arm around) years ago tells me they wouldn't be alive if I hadn't been there, or that they would never have taken the chance that led to something fabulous, or that they believe I helped them find the strength to be a better, kinder person and I feel both elated and humbled. Each of these people really made the change in their life themselves but they needed someone to believe they could. And I get up again myself and go on, wearing my heart on my sleeve and believing that WE are the answer to our own problems. Love to you all, especially those trapped on either side of the walls of fear and anger. May you all forgive and be forgiven and go on to feel kindness.
Judge NOT lest ye be judged.
"Do not judge others, and you will not be judged."
That woman does NOT know her scripture. That just makes me sick.
I just read these stories today (November 14, 2012). Wow. So powerful, and so beautiful. Genuine stories like these really touch the heart. Thanks for sharing them with us.
That is AMAZING!!! I don't think there are any suitable words to describe just how wonderful it is that your article made such an impact. It did bring tears to my eyes to read those last positive stories. The first two were saddening in the not-so-touching kind of way. It's just...shocking to me to see that kind of negative attitude and kinda scary to realize I used to be like that. Not. Any. More. Throughout the years I've grown up and let go of those archaic and hateful ideals. People need to be loved and those who are gay cannot change the way they are. It's the way they are. It's not something they know is wrong on a deeper level, it's something that is a part of them and it's not wrong. It's what's right for them. It's how they were born and we should love and accept them as is instead of trying to change an intrinsic aspect of their personal self.
Good stuff. Thanks, brother.
I just recently discovered your blog through a friend who posted "How I Screwed Up My Marriage" - which is an awesome entry, by the way. (Wish my husband would read it.) Thank you for writing, posting and reposting "...Unless You're Gay." I reposted the link in the hopes my husband will see it and read it. It's not likely. My daughter is 6 months clean from opiate addiction, but is living in a city relatively far away. Her whole life right now revolves around recovery, which, of course, means all of her friends are also in recovery. Almost all of them are from middle-class families, but my husband is exasperatingly judgmental, calling them, (and my daughter), "trash," "junkies," "thieves," and "freaks." (Most of them, including my daughter, are into piercings & tatoos). They are her support system, so I am grateful for them, and they're good kids who went down the wrong path - for whatever reason. I am ashamed to admit that, before this experience with my daughter, I was less than accepting myself of these individuals, but that's all changed. We are afraid, (i.e. unaccepting/disdainful/intolerant) of what we do not know. I know these kids now. I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I guess what I want to say is "thank you" for including EVERYONE in your tolerance post. I have never read an essay or editorial on tolerance that included addicts or "trash," and it is remarkably thoughtful of you to do so. I will continue to read and enjoy your blog.
Am I missing any posts/links? http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/powerful-responses-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay-blog.html http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/few-more-powerful-responses-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html http://www.danoah.com/2011/12/responses-video-to-the-im-christian-unless-youre-gay-post.html http://www.danoah.com/2011/12/the-most-amazing-response-yet-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html http://www.danoah.com/2011/12/men-in-uniform-respond-to-the-post-im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html http://www.danoah.com/2012/01/my-daughter-home-at-last-response-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/a-teens-brave-response-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html
Just found your blog today. Started with the cute baby photos and progressed through many posts until I got to to the "I'm Christian, Unless..." posts. Wow. As the mom of a gay son, I just have to say thank you. I go to a fairly conservative church, but live in a very liberal area. It makes me sad to think of the reactions my son will receive from others at our church (those closest to him know, but he only tells if directly asked). I just don't get how parents, friends, etc can cut someone out of their life for admitting that they are gay. S/He is the exact same person that they knew and loved the second before s/he says "I'm gay"! I can't imagine turning my back on my son. He's a really great guy. I can't stand the thought of never having contact with him again. It would be worse than him dying.
The "church" has done so much damage to so many people in the name of Christ!! The God I follow sent His Son for EVERYONE, loves EVERYONE, and holds out his arms to EVERYONE. None of us deserves that love, but it's given freely to all.
So, again, thank you. Thank you for starting this discussion. Thank you for your boldness, your willingness to be open about your own life, and for standing up what you believe!
Wow.
I am not a regular reader, I got sent here by my loving wife who thought that your 16 ways to blow your marriage post was great reading (which it was, thanks). Then I followed the "other posts you might like", which brought me here and to your original "I'm Christian..." post.
Let me start by saying that I don't normally comment on blogs, but your post had me in tears. I'm one of those athiests that you wrote about, hate-filled when it comes to most religious people. I'm like the racist who says "I'm not racist because my gardner's black". Most of my hatred isn't directed directly at specific people, but rather to religion as a whole which I think has helped create the divisions and animosity that exists in the world today.
Then I read your post. Then I read the first responses you posted (which reinforced my hatred). Then I read more, and more.
While I am not going to say I'm reformed - I don't think that's really possible in a morning - I must say that you have done something that nobody has been able to do for me in a long, long time. You have given me hope. Hope that maybe one day humans will exist in a world that is free of hate. I realize that I am also to blame for some of this hatred, and I pledge to do my best to conquer it in the future.
Thank you.
I made it through 3 responses, and had to stop reading them. First, sodom and gomorrah was not simply destroyed because of alleged homosexuality. Furthermore, Lot offers his virgin daughters instead to sleep with these men out of wedlock. But, I guess for everyone's argument purposes, that is never mentioned. Second, there were things such as bestiality and gambling going on as well. Which, we know today, gambling is becoming more and more legalized across the country. It seems too often Christians use bits and pieces of the bible to argue their points, and leave out the rest. I feel for this 15 year old boy, and have more admiration for his mother than I could possibly explain. I'm 33 years old, in the military, and still have yet to approach this subject with my parents due to fear of their reaction. They are my family. It shouldn't be that way! Luckily, the government has fought half of my battle for me. At that young man's age, I was suicidal, and had no one to turn to, except God of course. I prayed for 3 years for Him to change me. When it didn't happen, I decided I would find love and be happy, and still live the best Christian life I can. You bigots posting the nonsense to Mr. Pearce, turn some of that anger toward yourselves, because God is going to judge you, too!
Precisely - Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their lack of hospitality, overly proud natures, laziness and their lack of charity -
Eze 16:49 Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.
and in a slightly different translation -
Ezekiel 16:48-50 God compares Jerusalem to Sodom, saying "Sodom never did what you and your daughters have done." He explains that the sin of Sodom was that "She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me."
Sometimes I wonder if the people who wave the bible around and thump it actually bother opening it and reading.
@LindaRussellWalton
I found a quote the other week that answers your last line perfectly. I just wish I knew who said it.
"To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I Agree'"
It just has to stop. This bullying because of your beliefs. They are not right when it forces a child to kill themselves. It is not right, at all. It is bullying to the point of murder. My attempt at stopping it is here http://toriabipolar.blogspot.ca/2012/04/bullied-teens.html
WOW. LOVE to all, especially #5. I am so glad for him to see a new light, and I will be REALLY glad when he moves out of his town to a neighbourhood/city where he is SAFE as he is. There is a beautiful, accepting world out there boy! xxx
All this arguing.The truth is the truth and all these words do little justice for what we are trying to express...thus we miscommunicate, separate "us" from "them", and try to make the case for why they are wrong. God is so all over this, very very clever creator, he is! The truth is written on my heart, like I can feel his hands around my heart ....especially when I am doing His work. There is no need to argue here folks. You are either expressing it or not, the resonance of truth people recognize and gravitate towards, because it is written in their heart as well. After reading this blog and many wonderful, beautiful expressions of this universal truth, im inspired and very happy to be on this roller coaster ride called life with all of you :)
I love my children. The day I realized I was pregnant with my 1st child, I embraced the knowledge that I would become a mother with trepidation. Over the months, both before and after he was born, I came to worry about his future. Would I be good enough as a parent? What would happen to him? What if he was born with some health problems? What if ... what if ... I'm responsible for this child's well-being. Feeding and clothing and providing for him. What if I lose my job, or my husband? What if ...
Let's back up. What am I responsible for? What can I do that no one else can do for them?
I am responsible for teaching my children to be men who are capable of loving others, of loving themselves, and finding some way to contribute to the world. Really, that is all that matters. What else could truly matter? So what if they don't have a "good job", meet the "right people", become famous, finish high school?
Are they capable of loving others? - if I teach them that, I will be able to look in the mirror and know that I have been a Good Mother.
I have told my children "I love you, I will always love you, and no matter what - nothing, absolutely nothing you ever do could make me stop loving you. I will always love you." My six year old son had a look of wonder on his face when he heard this. I will never forget it. I never want to forget it. He asked, "really?" "Yes, really" I answered.
What if one of them is gay? I don't think it's a sin; but I would worry about how others would treat them. I would worry more if he was incapable of expressing his love, regardless of whether he's straight. If I ever hear him say "I hate [that person] because [some reason]" I would cry. I would have failed as a mother.
I love my children.
I will love your children, if I meet them. Every single human being on the face of the earth inherently deserves my love, has the right to ask for my love, and above all has the god-given right to expect to receive my love. I wish there were more ways for me to show that love to you. I wish it was easier to do.
If you cannot bring yourself to love me, I would hope that you could at least treat me with respect and courtesy. If we can do that, love will at least have fertile ground in which to flourish.
For those who believe the Bible is to be taken verbatim, I would remind them Matthew's gospel quotes Jesus, "For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? ‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? ‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
Nowhere does he say, "For I was hated, and you hated me too".
I believe that when I die, my soul will be judged by God, who will ask me "So, what have you done with the life I gave you?" My sins - for I have committed them to my ever-lasting shame - will be there. And I hope, for my immortal soul, that I will be able to answer, "I taught people how to love".
Teach others to love. You're doing a great job.
The responses to your post have left me in tears, well the majority of them anyway. Although your post was very powerful, I cannot believe how much it has affected people and changed their lives for the better. You truly are a fantastic person. I have been, and will continue to, encourage my friends and family to read your post and pass it on.
Wow, this response is so amazing and beautiful.
Dear hater, the quote is: "Judge NOT lest ye be judged." I don't know where you bought your Bible, but if I were you, I'd return it b/c you're completely missing the point.
@Meredith McLaughlin
@Meredith McLaughlin That sounded angry.
@Meredith McLaughlin That's also a lot like telling a computer user to return their computer because they don't know how to use it.
It's hard not to judge people, isn't it.
I know
Dear reader,
Dear author,
Dear angry person passionately upset at the people represented in SDL's articles or the comments that follow them,
Dear sad person who feels heartsick at the stories SDL has been revealing,
Dear father,
Dear mother,
Dear straight person,
Dear gay person,
Dear lesbian person,
Dear asexual person,
Dear bisexual person,
Dear runaway who's been beaten, or in fear of your life, or just feels like nobody cares,
Dear pregnant teen who's afraid to reveal her mistake to her parents,
Dear popular person who basks in the attention,
Dear popular person who just wants to escape,
Dear outcast person who wants attention,
Dear person hiding in fear from a world that might reject you,
I want you to know that I love you. I care about you. I don't know you. I don't need to. And I don't need to justify or qualify my love for you or anybody else. And if you don't want me to love you, you don't really have a choice. My love for you comes without reservation, and with sincerely withheld judgement.
Whether you're black, white, Latino, of Asian descent or whatever doesn't matter. Whether you're male, female, a eunuch, or a hermaphrodite, and whether you were born that way or not, doesn't matter. Whether you're straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual doesn't matter. Whether you care that I love you or not doesn't matter. Whether you're Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Moslem, Taoist, atheist, Deist, Theist, agnostic, Odinist, Rosicrucian, any of the various Occult traditions, or what have you, doesn't matter.
I will still love you whether you treat people with honest, open compassion or with disdain. I will continue to love you if you make a mistake or take a misstep. I will continue to love you if you are successful in life, love or any endeavor you attempt. I will continue to love you when you are happy, or sad, or angry, or indifferent. I will continue to love you even if you hate me or the things that I do.
And what's more, I will still love you no matter what you do and I will never tell you otherwise. If you want to know where I think you've made a mistake, it won't make me love you more, but it will show that you care about what I think. And when you do that, I will be more than happy to tell you. And if you want to go through your life on your own without asking me my opinion, I won't stop you or tell you you're wrong, because I love you that much.
That's what love is all about. And I will still love you even if you don't understand why or how. I will still love you, even if you don't understand any of this.
Because you deserve it.
--M.Pemrich
@pemrich People don't need love, they need rights and respect. I do not care if you love me. I care if I am safe and can live my life without fear. It's great that you love people, but what are you actually doing to change anything?
@MamaNervosa @pemrich
Christ asks us to love, but Christ also asks us to serve. To serve the poor, the sick, the afflicted, prisoners, I am sure that Christ would include the politically marginalized, the ostracized, any other you can think of in the "sheep and the goats" - that which you fail to do for the least of you, that you have failed to do for me. For me it is a natural outgrowth of love, maybe because I'm a mother. Someone you love, if you see a hurt, you want to rush over and see what you can do. If you see something that is unsafe, unfair, inhumane, you step up, not just for your child, or the kids you know, but for all kids. Everybody is some mother's kid. The older I get the more of you I see as somebody's kid, somebody I just want to protect. I just want to make you a sandwich and kiss you on the hair. I want to make the schools safe and bully proof. I want to make the streets safe and the workplaces safe and politics and law and the whole thing. I want everything for you that I want for my own kid. Any one of you could be my kid, or my kid's lover or my kid's friend. What wouldn't I want for you? Moms did a lot to curb drunk driving. Imagine what a lot of passionate moms could do for bullied kids and GLBT kids and kids of all kinds if we just got it into our heads to do it. Love can do a lot.
@MamaNervosa I also care if you are safe and can live your life without fear, because I'm there, too. Maybe not to the same degree, but there's a reason I don't speak out very often about my sexuality.
So I'm speaking out about what love is, and I'm trying to be just one example for others. I'm tired of seeing conditional love. But telling people how to do things and showing how things can be done are two vastly different things. I don't have much to offer anyone other than that. If I have enough to feed, clothe and house myself it's a blessing.
But I disagree that people don't need love... and the article that these mails are a response to disagrees. People need love. True, unconditional love. Without that, I and many other people feel that those who need rights and respect will never see either. So I'm raising my voice, at least in this very small way. And I will take that with me and I will raise my voice when I see the kinds of harsh treatment that other people like me face. And I will do it without hate.
Y'know, I saw a mother call her son a queer while I was at the laundromat some weeks ago? I wish I would have said something then. I definitely would say something now.
That's what I'm doing.
@MamaNervosa Adrienne Rich asked tough questions in her poetry and writing.
“What would it mean to put love into action in the face of lovelessness, abandonment, violation? Where do we find, in or around us, love—the imagination that can subvert despair or the futile firing of a gun? What teaches us to convert lethal anger into steady, serious attention to our own lives and those of others?”
adrienne rich
Dan,
I'm a Presbyterian Pastor and I have to say that not only can Homosexuals be Christians, but you can bet that would be who Christ would be seeking out if he was reincarnated today. If he can talk to Jews, Gentiles, prostitutes and even tax-collectors--he would talk to homosexuals--why? Not because they are sinful, but because Christ always ministered to the marginalized, the outcasts, etc. (Lepers were the point and case AIDS ex, everyone assumed they were sick bc of their sins). I don't envy those who are trying to convert others or pass out judgement about the state of others souls--I wouldn't take on one of those jobs much less both. In fact I tend to leave those jobs up to my boss, he's management, after all, I'm only in customer service.Anyone who wants those jobs are just asking for heartache.
In closing I want to say this. If I sin, I pray that my sin is to be too welcoming, and to have the door too wide open. Never do I want to stand before God and defend why I didn't let someone into my community, family, church, faith or life because I kept the opening too narrow. I would rather explain why I let everyone in rather than defend why I kept one person out.
Rev. Katy Stenta
@KatyStenta I am glad you feel that way. I see one "church" in the news from time to time where they picket funerals and other events. Usually they hare holding signs that say "God hates...." and I sit and wonder just who this god of theirs is For it surely isn't Christ. IN one of these responses the second one I think there was a woman saying "god says to judge least you be judged." I remember that quote as being Judge not least ye be judged" I also remember another quote "Judgement is mine saith the Lord" So many people are using religion to deny people rights or as reasons to hate and it is in this you see where Evil lies or as they might say it Satan has a foot hold. Jesus said "Love your neighbour as you do yourself." Keep in mind each person must find their own path to God. You cannot walk it for them they have to make the choices and decisions that are right for them. God gave us all free will for us to try to take that away from others is like saying we know better than God. Is that not something along the lines of what got Lucifer kicked out of Heaven?
A righteous person loves the sinner but hates the sin. Showing love to someone can lead them to a right relationship with God. Let us not forget that homosexuality is a sin and that sin separates us from God but if we repent (turn away/stop the sin) we are given forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
@melimb I'm glad I'm not a Christian and can love the people your God doesn't.
I've been sitting here reading this series of posts for that past couple of hours, but you've managed to distill the whole thread into 13 very powerful words. I don't know if you'll ever see this reply, but I want to say "I'm sorry."
@Gotrootdude "I'm glad I'm not a Christian and can love the people your God doesn't."
I am a Christian but to me this is one of the saddest, most heart-rending sentences I've ever read. Truly this is a moment when Christianity has failed our world - or rather that we, Christians (and I include myself in there) have failed. That people should look upon us and "know we are Christians by our -" not love, but hatred. Very, very sad and horrifying and all I can say is, Christians are human beings too. Fallen, often very flawed and definitely just as much in need of love, compassion and forgiveness as anyone else. Sometimes more so. :(
@melimb You are so right. We as Christians cannot condon wrong actions to make people feel better about living in sin. That would be going againt God and that isn't a place we should dare to venture. As you said already we should love them, living a life that reflects Jesus' heart.
@tsnl120808 @melimb What God are you talking about here? Christ says you're supposed to love your neighbor unconditionally. That includes your gay neighbor, your ugly neighbor, your untidy neighbor, your atheist neighbor, all your neighbors. You aren't supposed to judge them - Christ says you're not to do that, specifically, in the Bible, people. Check out the part about the mote in your eye, and the business about who should be casting the first stone - that's right, whoever is without sin - which would not be you. Love and service, and once all the hungry people are fed, the poor people have what they need, and all the sick, ill and hurt people have been comforted, then you can start worrying about the more minor stuff. But wait, there are still some poor people out there. That is probably more important to Christ - the poor people who haven't got enough to eat, anywhere to sleep etc. Take the energy you are using to make your gay friends uncomfortable and use it for something Christ asked you to do for once. Read the Bible people, don't just take your activist pastor's word for what is in there, read what Christ actually said for once. Don't let Satan tempt you into using a few out of context words in the old testament as an excuse to indulge your own bigotry. Acts of hatred and anger and contempt come from Satan. Acts of love, compassion, generosity - those come from God.
@tsnl120808 @melimb This is the whole honey vs vinegar argument, if you look at it. The problem is that folks who call people sinners while professing love are mixing honey and vinegar. Why not just just set out to love people and honestly care about them without qualification?
You can address the issues of sin later with those who actually want to listen to it. The whole point is, if you can't get to them, you will never change their hearts. And by attacking them for what you call their sinful life, you're just pushing them away. Good job!
Note that this assumes you even are able to change their hearts.
@melimb This is a cop out. This is like saying "I love you, but..." your only job is to love God and your neighbor, judgement belongs to God alone. Whether someone's sex life is a sin or not is beside the point, someone else's sin is between them and God, your job is to love them and to love God and to give over to God what belongs to God. You don't have to "not forget" anything that doesn't pertain specifically to you. Putting yourself in the position of judgement is putting yourself in the role of God. The advice the writer is giving you is the right advice - to abandon yourself to love and trust God to sort things out. Don't lay awake at night trying to figure out how to correct other people, concentrate on how your love (not judgement, uncritical love) can be put to good use comforting people in need of comfort, like prisoners, the ill, the poor, the people Christ wanted us to serve. (Write 'serve' in big letters on your mirror. Look at it every day. You can't serve from a position of judgement. You can only serve from a place of humility.)
@melimb Saying " I love you but..." is like saying " I'm sorry but..". they are both trying to blame the other person for the way you feel, because the implied ending is always "but it's your fault" . When on the receiving end, what I hear is "I don't love you" and "I'm not sorry"
@ChrisOinonenEhren I recently tried to explain this myself. "I love you, but..." No phrase is more effective a turn a person's heart away from the words that follow. The word "but" in this context essentially means, "Please disregard the beginning of this sentence. It may be true. The second part is much more important to me." And since when is love less important than anything? "I bought this, but I never use it," means "It doesn't matter that I bought this, because I never use it."
"Terrorism can never be justified, but in this case it's understandable because (insert justification here)."
If you honestly love someone, care about them and want them to feel good about himself or herself, just drop everything from your sentence after the part telling them how you feel about them. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER qualify your love. It makes the words meaningless, just as much as "I love you because (insert reason here)." This can only ever lead to questions such as, "And if someone else (same reason) would you love them just as much?"
Thanks for this post. It made me cry. Cry for those who think Satan made you write such lovely words. Cry for the ones whos lives you've touched by your words. Yes, the ripple effect is huge. And all because you, yes you, were brave enough to find the truth in your heart to speak it. We need more tellers of truth to come out of the closet. Yes, I've shared the blog posts on my blog. Not many read them but oh well a few do. So they'll hopefully spread the word out there.
I hope that you'll continue to help to spread the "love" message.
My spiritual gift of discernment detector is going off on this one. Romans 14. No Christian should be guilted for recoiling from percieved sin or having discernment in whether they let that sin seep into their family. There are too many verses to list on how to guard yourself from sinful, worldly behaviors. As addressed in Romans...other Christians having concerns about eating meat or holding a certain day as holy is to be respected & honored.. Romans clearly commands do not cause your fellow Christian to stumble by your eating meat.. So we should not disrespect Christian's consciences who place limitations in partaking in associations others may see as harmless. We are not Christ, we instead aspire to his loving-kindness.. Including on how to have compassion for unrepentant, repetitive sinners of any type. However, if any fall short of any aspect of Christ, we should have full compassion for their faith-stage..and in no way condemning them as a "fake" Christian. Being a Christian is far more fundamental than outward behavior & only God can separate the wheat from the chaff. Using verses meant for Christian-Christian relations for how to handle Christian-Non-Christian relations is a misapplication.. Do not attack your fellow Christians for the sake of the world's preferences. Don't attack sinners. Abide in love and solidarity. The enemy comes to kill, steal & destroy. He is the tempter of all individuals with proclivity to any sexual sin. His lies are in this debate, mindfully remember..even Satan used Scripture while tempting Jesus in the desert.
This was absolutely amazing, thank you so much. Best thing I've read in a while. I live in a pretty safe area, and I've grown up with a lot of gay friends and although the only kind of harassment they've ever received has been very subtle, I have always tried to stick with them and defend them, because nothing is worse than being cast out for being who you are. Thank you so much for your amazing post, which I read as well. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Even if you make a few people as happy as they seemed in those messages, it will have been so worth it. Thank you!!!!!! <3