The Thousand Roads through Hell

By Dan Pearce On Tuesday, November 15, 2011 · 35 Comments · In Motivational, Read, Think, Debate

Continued from page one.

I’m not being flippant. I really do believe I was lucky. Fate was smiling on this lump of a man as it dragged me bloody behind its speeding carriage. Had I never been through the first divorce, I never would have met and married my second wife. Had I never failed in that second marriage, I never would have sat down and started this blog. Had I never sat down and started this blog, I never would have written “Perfection” or “Memoirs of a Bullied Kid”. Had I never written those, I never could have truly healed from the darkest things I’d been holding onto for so many years.

I also never would have met any of you. And damn, you make good company.

Hell. I hate walking through it, but I love looking back and seeing each and every footstep lingering on its fiery shores. Each one testifying to the universe that I am where I‘ve ended up, and I’m as strong as I’ve now become because I kept walking. I refused to remain consumed by the inferno. I always believed that if I walked long enough I’d reach the edge of it and beautiful things would be waiting for me on the other side. And they always were.

There are a thousand different roads that run through hell. Some are quick; some are ungenerously long. Upon entering our hells, each person must choose one of the thousand open roads before them, having no idea where each will lead, nor how long it will take to reach the end. All we see is fire and ash in every direction. But, we choose a road and we start walking anyway because we are given no other option.

Many will begin walking, unsure if they’ve chosen the correct road. As they get further into their journey, they will convince themselves that they have chosen the wrong road, and that nobody else has ever walked this particular path. They convince themselves that the uncertainty and unknown are too risky and so, they turn around. They go back to the beginning and they start over. They choose a new road, only to find themselves turning around again, and again, and again. They trap themselves inside of their personal hell, and they never make it out because they are never willing to walk far enough and long enough to find their happy ending…

My friends, it does not matter which road you choose. It will never matter which road you choose. At the end of every road you will reach the edge of hell. When you take that last step from the darkness, the most beautiful things you could possibly imagine will be there.

Yes, you may be burned, and you may be scarred. You may be limping your way out. In fact, you might be dragging yourself by the time you reach the end. But you will reach the end if you just keep moving.

Hell is so personal and so different for every person who experiences it. Some will have to climb impossible mountains while walking their roads. Some will have to wade through shark-infested waters. Others will have to swim through seas of lava. A few will get to the end much sooner than anticipated, and with little trouble at all.

One morning, four good people are unexpectedly terminated from their jobs. All four have the jaws of hell opened up before them. All four look at the thousand roads they will choose from, and they each choose one.

One good person walks to the end. He steps over the border of hell and into a new job doing something he’s always been passionate about. Another good person walks to the end. She steps over the border of hell and into the schooling that she’s always found a reason to put off. This, in turn, leads to a life and a career that makes her truly happy. Another good person walks to the end. She steps over the border of hell and into the arms of a good man at a new workplace. The last good person walks a short ways, and then turns around and heads back. He’s still there. He’s still going through it. He’s still trying to decide on the right road.

Three spend the rest of their lives being thankful for the hell they just walked through. One spends the rest of his life desperate to escape.

We can’t choose our hells or when we’ll have to start walking through them. We can’t choose what will be on the road in front of us. We can’t even choose what will be at the end.

What we can choose is to keep walking. We can choose to look at the flames in front of us and maneuver our way through them. We can move forward with blind faith that there is always something good at the end of our road.

And faith it will take. I promise you that.

If you find yourself in hell right now, ask yourself honestly. Are you walking to the end or are you turning around, always trying to find a safer, less damaging route? If you are one of the ones walking, keep going. If you are among the latter, do something truly terrifying for yourself. Choose one road, any road, and start running. Run full speed and do not stop. Do not look back. Do not worry that you have made a wrong choice.

The future will seem uncertain. It will seem unsafe. But you have to keep running. You must run until turning back is impossible. Only then will you see the beauty that sits on the horizon.

Only then will you see that there is another person lined up for you. Only then will you see that there is relief for your hurt or help for your pain. Only then will you see that there is a better job waiting for you. Only then will you see a child waiting for you. There will be people waiting on the other side of hell for you. As you near its edge, the brightness and beauty of your future will start to appear.

Just. Keep. Running.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are the hells you’ve walked through and what beautiful things were waiting for you on the other side? Or, do you feel that you’re stuck in hell right now?

Please do me a favor, and if this post meant something to you, share it. Facebook it. Tweet it. You never know who might be staring at those thousand roads right now, unsure of what is about to happen. You never know who might be able to finally get out. You just never know who you know that might need this right now.

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PeggyPerry 5 pts

I've made a lot of trips through hell. Many of them, oddly, were the same that you listed. Being bullied, being obese, being alone. One I'm currently going through is breast cancer. But I've always been one to learn my lessons and remember them, so I don't tend to retrace my steps along the same path. I am a Christian, a very devout one, and when I read in His Word that He would always be with me, I took it to heart. Reading about His experiences, my "mantra" became "It could be worse." Bullied? I got shoved down stairs once, but I never got stoned or crucified. Physically unattractive? That's my fault, even if I didn't realize it, as well as my body's fault for having hormonal problems from day one. But I realize now, I didn't overeat for comfort. I was trying to build a physical shield against the threats I received. Alone? My choice, since I didn't like going to any of the places most people met their mates. The church I went to didn't have any young men who interested me. Now I'm 54, living with a sister, and quite comfortable being single. I would have loved being a mother, but find being an aunt is fun, and I have had enough interaction with children to know I have touched the lives of many.

You know what is most fascinating? Having Jesus as a companion makes a trip through hell a sight-seeing tour, a stroll along a colorful path, until you can no longer tell the defining line between hell and heaven. The difference, I think, is being able to see through His eyes. In His sight, being bullied does not make you a pathetic victim. Bullies become pathetic, because you can see how their lives will turn out if they don't change. Unhappiness with your physical form becomes a challenge, to take control of your actions and try to overcome the tyranny of your hormones. Loneliness becomes a state of mind easily overcome by looking outward, not inward. If I start feeling down, I go find someone who needs me. They exist everywhere, friend, family, and stranger. Once you start looking through His eyes, you find a lot of other people in Hell with you, and helping them find the way out makes you stop feeling sorry for yourself, which is a lot of the mud slowing your trip out.

And breast cancer? It became a joyful experience. My family and friends were horrified because the survival rate for my kind is about 1 %. My doctors told me that the side effects of my treatment were dreadful, if it worked at all. Chemo, surgery, and radiation, all would wreck my body and probably make me long for death. (I think they don't want you coming up later and complaining you didn't warn them.) Four months of chemo, and I had every side effect. For about an hour, maybe a day. The longest lasting has been hair loss and neuropathy. I still have those, but hair loss is painless and the neuropathy is more of an annoyance. The loss of both breasts was merely uncomfortable for a couple of days. The radiation is coming up, and I may get blistered, but I've been sunburned before. The joy came from realizing how much I am loved. So many friends I never knew I had. Complete strangers hugging me and offering to pray for me. The physical changes I went through during treatment and surgery were fascinating to me, since I have always had an interest in biology and medicine. My doctors have been stunned by my attitude and my progress. The pathology report could find no cancer, at all. The surgeon warned me I had a 50/50 chance of it coming back, but if it does, at least I'll know what to expect. And hey, it's more likely I could get killed in the traffic getting to her office.

The Thousand Roads through Hell

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