Okay, so I know I promised you all ten straight days of posts in The Happiness Dynamic Series. We’re five posts into it and I’ve been loving the discussion so far!
I totally didn’t realize that this was the week I promised to run a couple of posts about my trip to Hollywood to screen The Lorax movie (about to hit theaters!). So, I’ll be doing some awesome Lorax posts tonight and tomorrow night and The Happiness Dynamic Series will pick up again Tuesday or Wednesday night and trickle into next week.
I’ve also decided to write a few more posts as part of the series. These are a few things I’ve thought about after reading your comments in the first five posts. So far, this is what I want to add:
- When the One Thing Missing from the Happiness Equation is Something You Can’t Control
- Happiness isn’t all about having fun. But sometimes it has to be.
- I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up. A Look at How Love Affects Happiness.
And maybe when this series is done, I’ll have bored you all to the next town over. But I need to finish this project. I’m writing this series for me more than anything. I want to understand better what happiness means in my life. What has made me happiest to this point. Why certain things have made happiness impossible for me in the past. Why I’m happier right now than I literally ever have been. And what my own realistic expectations in all of this should be.
I hope you’ll continue to join me for the discussion. I’ve learned a lot reading some of your comments. I’ve gained some great perspective. I think we all have.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
The Lomax!
my son's 23rd birthday today...church first, then dinner with the family at Cheesecake factory!
Relaxing after a long week of cakes. Tomorrow starts a week long process of preparing for double birthday party here next saturday! My oldest will be 3 tomorrow and my baby will be 1 in 2 weeks. Its a mickey mouse clubhouse blowout!
try.....broken pipe underneath the foundation of the house. upside is.....we're all strong swimmers!
Hope you enjoyed our fair state! Looking forward to your review of the Lorax. I'm trying to decide if I want to take the kids to see it, so your review might tip the scales for me. :)
http://troismommy.wordpress.com/2012/02/27/milestones-what-nobody-tells-you-when-you-have-a-baby/
Looking forward to it!
You look like the Lorax movie poster. haha!
Took myself out to the movies for the first time ever. Not sure why I never thought going to the movies alone was a great idea. I am having a great Sunday enjoying the silver lining of divorce...weekends without the kids and lots of time for me.
My son was running up to our front door after church to get into the house and his pants fell down around his ankles. That's something we don't see everyday.
Diaper blowouts, vomitting and fever. Joys of parenthood. Hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday !
Keep calm.....and stache on.
I feel like I need to go back and read up on these happiness posts. today is a very unhappy day for me. I'm at the end of my rope and I don't think I'll survive the drop. the things that keep me from falling are my kids, but at this point I feel like my sadness is making me a poor parent. I don't know how to do this any more.
@casunshine365 I'm having a bit of a down time right now too - was in a weird funk yesterday then had a tearful argument with the fiance - emotionally exhausted and didn't want to get out of bed today - but I'm at work and sludging through the day. (yes, sludging is a word - :) )
@EmmaJewel
dont have to convince me that sludging is a word-- it fits perfectly. I absolutely hate that my personal relationships have such an effect on...well almost everything! I was married for a long time to a man who would never talk-- he wouldn't fight with me, he never expressed his emotions. it was frustrating to me, but more importantly as my kids got older I didn't like the idea that they would grow up thinking this is how a relationship is suppose to go-- an sad and unhappy mom, and a distant and unemotional dad. So I left and I hated leaving and I would have turned around in a heart beat if he fought for me to stay for even one minute...but that didn't happen. After a few years I ended up in a relationship with a man who does nothing but talk, lol! and boy did we fight. but it was okay because it was never huge long fights and we would always end up reaching a compromise--from him I learned that it is okay to fight sometimes. and he knew how to love and how to show emotion, and best of all he was engaged with my children. he actually listened and had real conversations with them. for a while I thought man what a lucky girl I am...but eventually that relationship ended too... well more or less. he is still in my life, but we r no longer together and now when we fight there is no happy ending- it just hurts. these last few months my relationship with him has just turned my life into a roller coaster to say the least. and I hate that he has so much of an impact on my emotions and thus my life. so I am very much in favor of Dans idea of using, "I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up. A Look at How Love Affects Happiness." for a topic. because even when we are all grown up and think man I got this life thing down now-- I know my priorities... sometimes love throws us a curve ball and we end up feeling like crazy teenagers who are in love one min and fighting the next.
in the end though, I think sometimes we need to fight because if we didn't we may never have told the other person our real feelings. you will make it through this day EmmaJewel!
@casunshine365 I totally feel your pain! I've had SO many days like that! It's really important that you talk to someone - a wise friend and/or a counsellor. Counsellors are awesome because they can help you find ways to keep going, even on the really shite-y days. You may only need to see them a couple of times to get you off the "can't do this" train. And they can help you make sure it's not a chemical imbalance causing you pain. And friends, well, friends just rock!See if you can find something that you love and try to add a little bit of that to your days. Maybe a sport, maybe reading (even 5 minutes while you sit on the loo), your favourite music rockin' through the house, volunteering, jokes on the net, a blog that you love to read, a project that you can work towards. Something that you can do a little or a lot of (depending on what you can fit into your day), and that can occupy your thoughts for a while.I also found reading some self-help books related to my own issues helped to kick start me in the right direction. Your local library can be an excellent resource (and they often have programs for kids so you can have a little bit of search time to yourself if you need it).Like the others have said, hang in there and keep searching! YOU are worth it!
@scootershell08
It is a strugle, but I'm working on it. I have a counselor who has also been a close friend over the last 20 years or so. I started going to her for therapy when I was about 15, then it became a whole family thing and over the years we have managed to stay in touch-- catching up once or twice a year and she is always been there when I've needed her professional help. I contacted her this evening and hopefully will be able to work out a plan of attack with her. sometimes I just need a little guidance I suppose...somedays though it is just a struggle to even talk about it all.
@BrandyWilkins
I've been told that my patience and loyalty are some of my best characteristic... but I gotta tell ya, sometimes those very things are what cause me the most pain. It may sound weird but I think I care too much. see that just seems so wrong to me, people should care about others and I strongly believe that what you give you get back. I guess just because I believe it though doesn't necessarily mean that everyone else believes it too... lessons that have taken a long time to learn and things I'm still working on. it is such a balancing act. and quite honestly I have been feeling guilty because in my mind I'm screaming I just want to be loved! I just one to be someones #1 love. I feel guilt over that because to me it sounds selfish. and I am loved and I am #1 to two of the most amazing kids I have ever known... I wouldn't trade that for the world, but still...
@casunshine365
Maybe they are, and it’s just reeeeeally hard to see it just now. I don’t mean to make this the “me-show,” but I really started to learn that lesson about two years ago when I was stood up on my wedding day (literally jilted at the alter – no joke). I wished the fates would give me a break, too. Then I found out my would-be husband was cheating (not just once, either). Not only was I so luckily protected, but I also learned a patience that I didn’t know I was capable of. Little old type-A me learned to just let things “play out”. I came out for the better. You, and your kiddos, will too. Much love.
@casunshine365 When you reach the end of your rope, climb back up! I don't know you, but I don't like the "sound" of your comment. It is tough some days. Some days I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and never ever come out. But just when I am about to cover myself in sadness, SOMETHING AMAZING happens.
The concept is simple really, just hang on. It gets better promise.
I got the whole what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but man sometimes I could just wish the fates would give me a break.
@casunshine365 Been there. It's a hard place to be. Hang in there and hang with me. Hopefully you pick up on something in this series that sparks something within you.
@Single Dad Laughing
I'm trying and I will... sometimes that is the only thing I can do. I truly did not expect my dreary post to get so many comments. I'm really hating this going it alone thing right now. I know I made the best decision for myself and my kids by leaving my husband over 3 years ago, but in those 3 years I feel like I've gotten more and more worn down. I miss having a partner. I worry that my kids see too much of the up and downs of my emotions. I don't want to pretend like life is always a bed of roses and there is never any sadness or anger out there, but I can't help but wish that there was someone to help even it all out. someone you can turn to and say, "can you take this one because I really just need a few moments to myself. "
@casunshine365 Imagine your rope is elastic and when you reach the end of it you start to bounce back up. I'm sorry today is so unhappy for you and hope tomorrow is better. Sending you positive thoughts.
@SamanthaRivera1
I'll take all the positive vibes I can get out there! and I like the mental image of an elastic band... of course this is sounding way too much like bungee jumping and I'm not sure I got the "cajones" for that!
Thank you very much for your kind words to a stranger though.
This blogging thing is definitely a full time job, isn't it?
@mermaidarts And then some. Haha.