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This is pretty much the conversation during my final dance practice with Krista last night.
Tonight is the big night. And I don’t feel ready. And I thought maybe it was because I didn’t practice enough. But after looking through these pictures, I have to wonder… SQUIRREL!
OUR FINAL DANCE PRACTICE:
“Krista, let’s dance! I’m not ready for this show yet! I need to run through it about two hundred times in the next hour and a half.”
“Dan, calm the effing heck down. Can’t you see that I’m sewing velcro onto this Mini Mouse skirt? We’ll dance when I’m good and ready. You go run around and kick yourself in the butt to warm up.”
“Oh, fine!”
“Larken, spin around really fast so I can make sure my camera isn’t taking blurry pictures this time. Oh, and don’t smile or laugh while you do this. I have to get in the mode for tango.”
“Okay.”
“I said not to smile or laugh. Dang it. Now I’m gonna smile and laugh. And I can’t do that. Cause Krista will yell at me.”
“Sorry, spinning just makes me so happy.”
“At least the settings are good.”
“Can I spin some more just for fun.”
“As long as you don’t smile or laugh.”
“Okay, I’m done sewing my skirt. Let’s run through it fat boy.”
“Did you just call me fat?”
“No, I said let’s run through it now.”
“Oh.”
“Stop looking at your feet.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop looking at your feet in the mirror.”
“Sorry. But I can’t see them when I’m carrying you.”
“Straighten your arm.”
“Gosh, that feels so awkward.”
“Do you want to be a pretty dancer or not?”
“Yes. I want to be a pretty dancer.”
“Then do it.”
“Fine.”
“Okay, you’re gonna have to pull me out of this position at some point.”
“I’m trying to decide how I want my arms. Give me a minute.”
“Okay, we’ve gotta work on your mad face. Show me your mad face.”
“That’s not a mad face.”
“Yes it is.”
“Get mad. What makes you really mad?”
“Kittens being murdered.”
“Okaaaayyy… think about that then.”
“I have a hard time getting mad. It just makes me want to laugh.”
“Are you thinking about murdering kittens?”
“Yes. And for some reason it’s funny right now.”
“You’re sick.”
“I know.”
“Okay, close your eyes and on the count of three, we’re gonna give each other a super mad face.”
1…
2…
3…
“That was really good. You just murdered a kitten mentally didn’t you.”
“No, I murdered the murderer of the kitten. And I had to get mad to do it. Just call me Dexter.”
“Ooookkkaaay…”
“What?”
“Nothing. Let’s dance.”
“K.”
“Are you paying attention?”
“How is it possible that this fake rose is wilting?”
“Dan… SQUIRREL!”
“Sorry.”
“Now, let’s do the move, and show me your mean face again.”
“K.”
“Yeah. That face was good.”
“Ooooh, you’re doing better. That face was good, too.”
“That face looks more like I disgust you. That’s not a good face for this dance.”
“Maybe you do disgust me.”
“Stop it.”
“You never know.”
“Do I disgust you?”
“No. I think you’re quite pleasant.”
“Oh geez.”
“Let’s dance.”
“You look too content. Like you’re daydreaming. I want intense and mad. Come on Dexter!”
“That was mad. I’m telling you, I don’t do mad. It’s like asking me to like mushrooms. I can pretend but not for long.”
“Do you want to be a pretty dancer?”
“Yes.”
“Pretty dancers are mad sometimes.”
“Yes Mam.”
“Okay, during this part, I want you to look into the audience and give them what they want. Recognition. Acknowledgement. A glimpse of your super fat face.”
“Did you just say my face was super fat?”
“What?! No! I just said face.”
“I think you said fat.”
“Oh geez. Are you going to give the audience what they want?”
“Yes, I will give them a show. I will win the crowd. What movie is that?”
“Dan, SQUIRREL.”
“Sorry.”
“Good…”
“Now MAD!”
“Oooooh. That gave me chills. That was good. What did you think of that time?”
“I thought about the time when I asked for grilled chicken on my sandwich at the drive through and they gave me fried.”
“Oooookkkaaaayyyy…”
“Don’t judge me.”
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE CAUSE THIS POST IS WAY TOO LONG.
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Love it! We say "SQUIRREL!" all the time in our house. I laughed every time.
ma'am* :) Good Luck!
Looks like you got some moves there buddy! :D
Thanks for coming out and dancing for us! We give you a 10! :) From everyone on the WestBench Relay:))) Thank so much!
I spent the entirety of reading that post laughing out loud.
You crack me up dude. Luck!
Maybe you mentally "type your phone password" during that dance. All those pictures your phone took of you trying to unlock your phone you kind of look mad in.
Break a leg (or whatever the most good-luck-entertainerian thing I can say)!!!
Best of luck, Dan & Krista!
Best. Post. Ever.
you are so effin adorable!
:( I have Direct TV, in which I very rarely watch television. And I just saw this post and would love to watch Dancing with the Stars. But there is an issue, I'm only showing one channel GSN 233 and its showing a lot of repeats on Friday with the date of 2007 on the info. This don't run on a local television channel?
Can anyone help me with this?
Thank you so much!
@Staci
This is a local event in Salt Lake City UT as a fund-raiser for Relay For Life and the American Cancer Society. It won't be televised tonght unfortunately.
@danoah Mad Face lol... Sometimes I just don't know if I should laugh or just shake my head. Great post Dan!
I laughed...until I cried! You're gonna do just fine - even if you do "squirrel" it! The crowd is gonna love you, and I can't wait to see the video.
Should be SDD - Single Dad Dancing! Good luck for tonight!
Hahaha! That just made my morning. Good luck tonight and I can't wait to see the video. Y'all will rock it!
LOL I just think about how my dance partner made my sister sad when they broke up. We are all still great friends, it's just an easy way to look angry. But yeah, when doing tango (my FAVORITE!) it is REALLY hard to not smile.... xD I know it sounds mean, but just pretend that someone hurt someone you love dearly. It works.
EPIC! I want to learn to dance now, it looks like oodles of fun!
Best of Luck to ya, Dan! I'm positive you'll do great! If @ any point you feel your confidence slipping, use this to channel your inner rock-star, you Sexy Beast!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEPTlhBmwRg&ob=av3e
It sounds like it will be an amazing adventure for a wonderful cause. I have loved your 'dancing with stars - Utah style' posts.
That was probably the most entertaining... positive... real life post I've read of yours thus far.... Except maybe about the eggs. I giggled a lot. Also, the photos were fab... maybe a little dark... but well focused. I can't wait for the video! Thanks for thinking of us Non-Utahns!
I really just needed to use Non-Utahns somehow... it was going to bug me if I didn't =p
I'm excited to see the routine! I've been dancing for about a year now and it's fun to watch someone else learn to love it the way I do! You should come with Nathan to The Social Dance Effect club. He comes when he can, and I'm there every week. Anyway, break a leg and remember to just have fun!
Lady Gaga makes me want to skip and sing too.
Hahahahahaha!