When I wrote yesterday’s post Death Knocked. And I Had to Answer, I told you all that tonight I’d write about the funny stuff that happened during that entire ordeal.
Well, I also was delusional in thinking I could do it. I’m still pretty under the weather, and to write something like that right now would mean I’d have to stop wallowing in my own lung-hacking misery, which I’m not quite ready to do. So, maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. But it’ll happen.
I did want to respond really quickly to some of the comments and emails that were left after yesterday’s post.
There were two things I purposefully didn’t share when I wrote that post, and for very specific reasons.
First, I didn’t tell you what exactly I was diagnosed with. I didn’t tell you what it ended up being that brought me to the “edge of death.” I knew that omitting that information would drive some of you crazy. And it did. But, you see, after all of that happened, I really wanted to share the emotions and the meaning that I walked away with that day. Nothing else.
In my experience, had I shared the diagnosis, far too much emphasis would have been placed on *that* during the discussion instead of on the more important lessons in all of this. Opinions would have been shared about what I could have done differently, how I could avoid it in the future, or what I could do right now to heal myself more quickly. And while it would all be given with the best of intentions, the truth was that when it was all said and done, it didn’t really matter what illness or infirmity brought me to that moment in time. What mattered is that I was brought there and what happened when I was. To me, anyway.
Plus, if I’m being honest, there was also a bit of a “personal stupidity factor” that got me to that moment. And believe me, it’s a “stupidity factor” worth sharing, but one that will be so much more awesome if shared in the funny post where you all can make fun of me to your hearts’ content instead of in yesterday’s post.
The other thing I purposefully kept short was the beautiful chance I was given to really look at my personal life and my personal beliefs and know that they were okay.
You see, my message wasn’t that “my beliefs are right.”
My message was that when I was brought to my possible end, and I literally could not lie to myself or to anyone else, I could honestly say that I genuinely do believe what I say I believe in. I was also mollified in that moment knowing that I really do live my beliefs. I knew that I have practiced that which I preach. I knew that I have been true to myself. And that is what brought me peace in such a terrifying moment.
And that is the only message I wanted to share when it came to that. I didn’t want to get into a debate of whether or not my beliefs or any other person’s beliefs are true or right. When you think you’re dying, the only beliefs you have to look at are your own. And the only thing you’ll have the chance to measure is whether they were indeed your own beliefs and whether or not you really lived them.
And with that, I’ll tell you that I’ve officially hit my limit on the keyboard today. Haha. I bet you all wish I’d get sick a little more often so that my posts stayed on the shorter side. I’ll tell you soon all about what made me sick and all the awesomeness, stupidity, and downright funniness that happened both before and after.
Love ya all. I’m gonna go crash on the couch with a big pack of Double Stuff Oreos.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Did it drive you nuts not knowing what the diagnosis was? Or did you get why I didn’t share that in yesterday’s post?