Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Wall, I asked a simple question: What was your most embarrassing moment. I don’t think I’ve laughed till I cried or winced in sympathy like that in a long, long time. Here are some of your eye-squintingly amazing answers. Enjoy.

  • Being 13 years old and getting my first period during a tae kwon doe sparing test in front of every parent and instructor all while wearing white pants.
  • When my cousin and I (larger gals) got stuck on a water slide and all i could do was laugh!
  • When I street contacted a taxi driver in Japan, and he told me I had a big nose, and wanted to touch it. So I let him.
  • Waiting in a cell phone store, my then 2 year old went up to an older, larger gentleman. I thought she planned on sitting next to him, when she patted his stomach and yelled to me “mom! his tummy is full of food!”
  • I called 911 on the roofers because I thought someone had broken into the house… I lived in the basement.
  • When my 2 yr old not once, but TWICE pushed the alarm bell in the elevator at the dentist office. Elevator stopped, alarm bells rang and a 911 operator came on both times!
  • Holding my 3 month old while shopping and not noticing he had a blowout that was up the back of his outfit, down my arm and on my pants and shirt. By the time someone told me it was so bad I just left the store.
  • my 2yo walking up to a morbidly obese woman in a pharmacy with his shirt pulled up and his back arched going “MOMMY, LOOK, I GOT A BIG FAT BELLY LIKE HER!!!”
  • We are waiting to get my 3 yo son a haircut and a heavy set woman bends over in front of him and he puts his hand up, not touching her behind but close and brings hand back to smell it. Then makes this HILARIOUS face as if it really stunk.
  • When I was 8 months pregnant and sneezed and at the same time farted really loud in public.
  • VERY CROWDED movie theater on a Friday night. Glass storefront. REALLY CLEAN GLASS. Me not paying attention and making a sharp right just BEFORE the actual door!! I slammed into the glass panel SO HARD that it shook all of the other panels and the people standing outside scattered because they thought I was coming right through it!
  • Introducing a commencement speaker as the “sexful Senator [name]” instead of the “successful Senator [name] in front of a few thousand people.
  • When my 3-year-old son hollered, “MOM, I SAID I POKED YOUR BOOBIES!” while in line at Costco on a Saturday after his quieter attempts at sharing this information with me resulted only in being ignored.
  • Going to the grocery store for just a few things, completely disheveled and with a grubby looking young toddler, getting in line behind the best looking man I have ever seen, who my son then points at and says “daddy!” The man promptly said, “I’m not your daddy.”
  • Snuck up behind my wife in a Barnes and Noble, to poke her in the rump with a toothpick. Only it wasn’t her. And it wasn’t the clothing she was wearing when we walked in, just something that was identical to something she had in her closet.
  • I was in a long line for the porta potties. One had the “unlocked” indicator out front. Everyone was afraid to find out if there was someone in there. Well, I marched up and banged on the door, asking if anyone was inside. I heard nothing, so I pulled the door wide open to demonstrate to everyone that it was empty. There was someone inside.
  • August, 6 months pregnant, no a/c, feeling sick. Forgot to lock the door. Stripped down to my bra and maternity gramma undies, and my boyfriends two best friends came over and walked right in.
  • I told a person I thought a mutual acquaintance was a bit two faced. Next time we saw her, my three-year old climbed on her lap and intently studied her features. She asked what he was doing and he replied “Looking for your other face. My mummy said you have two faces.”
  • Husband & I sitting with insurance agent. My 2 year old said, “Mummy, I want boobies!” I said, “We don’t have any blueberries, dear.” He yelled, “NO! YOUR BOOBIES, not BLUE BERRIES.”
  • Running late after work to go play a volleyball game. I quickly had changed into my volleyball attire and threw some sweats on (with buttons down the sides) over my clothes. I was running into the gym with about 10 seconds to spare. My teammates were already lined up on the court and ready to go. I quickly threw down my stuff – jumped out to the court – and trying to be the super cool one – ripped off my pants (hulk hogan style) to be funny and be ready to play. To my horror… in my hasty change at work, I had forgotten to put on any shorts.
  • I was 13, at the mall, checking out a really cute guy in the food court. I turned to take a drink, my straw stuck in my nostril. Blood everywhere.
  • Running out of gas wearing only underwear and a t-shirt… and not a long one….without a cell phone. Had to run across six lanes of traffic to use the nearest phone.
  • Wearing a white swimsuit. Swimming in it, not knowing it would be see-through.
  • Snuck up behind my wife in a Barnes and Noble, to poke her in the rump with a toothpick. Only it wasn’t her. And it wasn’t the clothing she was wearing when we walked in, just something that was identical to something she had in her closet. I was speechless, and she was looking for security.
  • We were having a party at our house and my wife was sitting on the floor in front of me. I noticed her butt crack was showing so I stuck my index finger in-between her cheeks and made a funny sound. She screamed and turned around, but it wasn’t my wife. It was her sister.

MORE EMBARRASSING STORIES ON THE NEXT PAGE