I feel like a follow-up to the “Secrets” post might be a good idea. After reading through some of the responses, I realize I should probably expound on a few things.
As you know, I’ve talked a lot here about many of the big life changes I’ve made in my attempts to find happiness. Leaving my religion and divorce were two of those changes. Changes of that magnitude will be different and personal to every person. Those were just mine.
I have never preached a set of beliefs that I believe you or anyone else should subscribe to. I have never told any of you that your religion is wrong for you. I have never told any of you that your marriage should end. If you’re in a religion, I just want you to be happy in that religion. If you’re in a marriage, I just want you to be happy in that marriage. My focus here on Single Dad Laughing has been on two things lately. First, people doing what they know is right and living the beliefs they believe to be true. And second, people defining their own happiness and then living the way that will help them achieve that. Most of you get that. Unfortunately there are a few people who don’t.
There are a few people who think my message is that leaving my religion and getting divorced led to my happiness and therefore every other person should follow suit.
That would just be silly. Please allow me to clarify.
I don’t care what religion you choose to be a part of. I don’t care if you practice a religion or not. I don’t care if you’re married or not. I don’t care if you are black, white, pink, or purple. I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, or somewhere in between. I don’t care if you’re some freaky three-headed weirdo from Mars.
I care if you’re happy. I care if you feel loved. I care if you feel that you’re understood.
I care about all of you more than you know. And I also really care about the very real people in my own life.
The people who so often share their secrets with me.
The “Secrets” post was my attempt at creatively discussing such an interesting phenomenon and I wrote it to the people I know and love more than I did to the entire world.
You see, after I got divorced, several friends and family members told me of their own wants to be divorced. Many of them told me their marriage was on the fritz. Many of them told me that they have never been happy. Some of them even told me that they were envious of the courage it took to get divorced.
It was very surprising to me. When I was married, and as a single person, I had no idea that there were so many other married couples who weren’t happy. I had no idea that they were having problems or struggling. I had no idea that they fought more often than not. All the secrets were a big shock to me.
But they were nothing compared to the secrets I was told when I left my religion.
Even to the day I left, I thought I was the only one (in my life) who struggled with it. I thought I was the only one who didn’t believe. I thought I was the only one who felt trapped in it.