Yesterday I told you all very quickly and quietly over on my Babble Voices blog that things didn’t work out for me and Brandy Girl.
And now I’m wondering, am I supposed to write more than that? Should I be sharing the intimate details of breaking things off with her?
It’s very interesting having a blog like this, where so much of my personal life is on display for so many people.
In regular dating life you meet a person, you get to know them, and eventually you introduce them to your friends and family. After I meet a girl, I get to know her, and eventually I introduce her to those same people.
And then, I introduce her to thousands of other awesome people as well.
In real single life, when something just wasn’t right in a relationship, or one person wasn’t feeling it, or one of us breaks things off, I would tell the people I introduced this special someone to that it ended, they’d ask why, I’d tell them my reasons, and life would move on.
In Brandy Girl’s and my case, some things happened, it didn’t work out, and I told my friends and family about it. They asked me what happened. I told them my reasons. And life moved on.
And then, I also told those thousands of other awesome people as well. And many of them naturally asked what happened. And…
Therein lies the boundary that I still don’t know if I ever want to cross.
I love you guys. Honestly I do. I feel a connection to you. Almost like we’re all a big internet family. I also feel like you love me. Even when I say and do stupid things you still stick around.
What I don’t (for some reason) feel is a need to give my side of the story or reasons why when it comes to break-ups.
Brandy Girl has her side of the story. I have mine. And that’s all they are. Sides.
I’m a writer. And I could write something that would make me look like a hero. Or a martyr. Or a class act. Or a victim. Brandy could write something that would do the same for her. But in the end, and as my friend Stacey pointed out on Facebook yesterday, there are three sides to every story, including this one. My side. Her side. And the truth.
And the truth doesn’t matter. Not really. There are some things too personal to me to share with so many people. It’s not that I don’t want to share. It’s that sometimes things hurt, and they’re hard, and the decisions that led to certain events were difficult. What we had was something I thought would be around for a long time, and then time had an opinion of its own.
And if I’m being honest, the thought of being scrutinized during those times, and even worse, the thought of people I still care very much about being scrutinized during those times… it just isn’t something I want to deal with, nor do I feel like I should have to deal with it.
And so I don’t. Because some things are just mine.
And I know so many of you are wondering what it was that made it come to an end. I get that. I really, honestly get that. We’re all a big family here. Just know that I’m thankful that I can say hey, it didn’t work out, moving on.
I broke things off with her.
My hope is that you can read that one statement and believe that I made a good choice for me and my life. No need for anyone to be at fault. No need for a desperado. No need for someone to be right and someone to be wrong.
I know the majority of you gave me that courtesy yesterday. Thank you for that.
I’ll write about certain elements of it all in the future. When the time is right. I’ll write about what I could have done better and where things could have been healthier. When the time is right.
I still very much care about Brandy Girl, and I hope we are friends for a long to come.
What I’m more worried about right now is how this pack of Oreos went from full to empty in the last 24 hours with just me in the house. Not good.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. What do you think? (I’m honestly curious). Do you think when someone has a big blog like this that they need to be more “open” about things like this? Do you think the details matter? Would you like me more or less if you knew what happened?