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Today is the four-year anniversary of my little sister’s death. Her name was Carissa, and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve known. In honor of my sister, I think it’s appropriate to repost the Saturday’s Heroes post I wrote about her.
Carissa is and always will be my greatest inspiration and number one hero. I had the privilege of giving the eulogy at her funeral. Some of those words have been intermingled here.
Carissa had Down’s Syndrome, but she never once let that define her. In fact, the only word that could ever define her is love . Her funeral offered indisputable evidence of just how far her love for others had spread.The room in which we held her services seated 750 or so. Many had to stand along the walls or listen from the hallways because there simply weren’t enough seats for everyone.
I have been to many funerals. I have never seen one with that kind of turn-out.
I remember struggling to put her life into words that could accurately express who she was and what she was about. Truth be told, Carissa’s shining life and example really couldn’t be expressed over a podium. It had to be felt, experienced, and witnessed, as so many people there in attendance knew.
You see, Carissa understood love probably more than I or most of us will ever be able. She could feel inside a person’s soul and somehow, could even feel the pains of a person’s heart. If that person’s heart was hurting more than usual, she could sense it, and she would do what she did best, which was to help start the healing. It usually started with a question of concern, then a big smile, then one of her big Carissa Bear Hugs.
Then, the verbal praises would start and not let up until she sensed that your heart was at peace again, even if it took weeks or months. She would laugh, and tell you repeatedly over the course of days, “You’re my favorite.” “I love you this much.” “Hello my beautiful.” “Hello my handsome.” And other wonderful things. Then, when you would leave, she’d get out a notebook and her big bag of colorful pens, and write you a letter or two, telling you how much she loved you, how much she loved God , and how much He loved you.
You see, Carissa believed in God’s love for us, and she never hesitated to share it.
Carissa was not bound by pride, ego, time, or selfishness, a few of the struggles that many of us so naturally have. She was never too busy to visit or care for the sick. She never received an assignment in her church, school , or community that she didn’t complete with 100% vigor. She never thought herself better than another human being, ever.
Think about that for a moment…
She never thought herself better than another human being.
How many of us can say that?
She never hid her talents from the world.
She never withheld her praise from anyone. She never compromised her values. She never believed that there was a reason to not show her love to others, and certainly never believed there was a reason for others not to love her.
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I came hear to comment on your brother's 'stash and saw a link for this story, and ended up here. I'm so glad I did. I smiled, I cried, and I ached for the sister I lost so many years ago who taught me many of the things it seems Carissa taught you. Hugs to you and your family. Many, many hugs.
i would definitely be a better person if i were more like carissa </3
Thank you for this wonderful post. As a sibling to a wonderful big sister with Downs I understand the amazing power of love. After reading this, I just called up my sister (whose greatest joy is being an Aunt to my twin toddlers) and told her I loved her. Thank you so much for sharing the story of your sister!!!
Dan, I have tears streaming down my face. How blessed you were to have Carissa, and she to have you as her big brother. My daughter Belle has a similar condition to your sister, and has 4 brothers that I hope feel the same way. This piece truly touched my heart. Thank you <3
Crying...such a beautiful tribute and such an inspiration. I want to live my life more like Carissa!
Jessica Gordon Prentice, I love you to, very very much! Words cannot describe what you mean to me!
Reading this story today was just what I needed. I have spent way to much time worry and being sad over stuff that doesn't matter. I will say that my favorite people are my mom, my son and my late great grandma. All three of these people are the most caring and compassionate people I know. My mom had always been there for me no matter what. She always had my back and stood by my side when I had my son. My son isn't afraid to live life to the absolute fullest. I will not hesitate to speak up if he sees an unjustice taking place. My great grandma lived her life in complete joy, laughter and love. Everyday that passes I miss her so much, but am so thankful for the time we had.
Thank you for sharing Carissa with the world. If there were more people like her in this world, what a fine world it would be! Thank you for passing this on and opening my eyes. Definitely will share this!
Thanks for this post. I'm the proud mom of a 10-year old, handsome young man with DS. What a great way to celebrate your sister. Our love goes out to you and your family on this day.
I have too many "favorites" to be able to list.. my kids.. my hubby.. my parents.. my brother... my "missing brother".... that one is the hardest.. I miss him every day.. 8 days isnt enough time, heck 80 years isnt enough time.. I guess my point is, love with the abandon of a small child...
Thank you for writing this. My older brother Adam has Down Syndrome, and I have always said he is, and always will be, my greatest teacher. Just like your sister, he exemplifies love, understanding, and hope every minute of every day, and he never lets the obstacles put in his life slow him down. He's not as verbal as your sister was, but he makes up for that with his beautiful smile and his sweet demeanor. When he wants to reach out to people, he does just that - he reaches out his hand to them, and grabs it and won't let go until he sees them smile. My family has long thought that people with Down Syndrome are the most beautiful people alive, who are put here for a reason, with an express purpose: to be Ambassadors of Love. Through him, we have become better people. I'm sure you and your family can relate. Thank you for writing this post and spreading the love that comes from having a family member with Down Syndrome.
Lopitta Kattan Fares, Randa Kattan, Mary Kattan, Kamal Fares, Marios Joseph, Rani Harlow, Mazen Kattan - you are my favourites! I love you more than anything :)
very sorry to hear of your loss DS people are very loving
Wow... tears just streaming here. I've been reading your blog for a while now and I can see how she was your teacher. She'd be very proud of you.
I love you, Cid!
What an unbelievably beautiful tribute to your sister... I hope that someday, when I am gone from this earth, someone can say the very same things about me... Carissa is a model for us all to live by ♡ One of my "favorites" is my "other mom", Susanne Jaroszewski-Knafelz... Sue has been a friend and mom to me since I met her son in 4th grade (he and I are 40 now). She always makes time in her very busy life for others and lets her friends and family (and even acquaintances, I'm sure) know that they are loved. She has buoyed me through many rough times in my life... she's someone I know I can always count on to be in my corner. She is my Carissa.
Kate Nicole, Becca Yuratick, Cheryl Wiant Clark, Erica Marcinowski, Deidra Kriner, Jodie Manthei, Jyne Cimarolli, Kaycee Clark, you're all my favorites and so much more! I love this post, I hope you all read it. :) Dan, I'm so sorry about your sister. She has obviously been an inspiration to so many, through her own actions, as well as through the message she has passed on through you.
oh, and thank you for talking about your sister again... I love to read about her.
I am late with this one, but I'd like to say to Lillian C Carson - you are the best grandmother I could have ever asked or hoped for. You taught our whole family the meaning of true, unconditional love, and you treat everyone with such love and respect. One of my favorite quotes from you is, "Love everyone, and let God sort them out"
Such a beautiful blog post. Will I share it? Without a doubt. Thanks for making my day.
What a beautiful dedication! Your sister was beautiful! She was blessed to have you as a brother! And always know that she is an angel watching over you!
Beautiful tribute to your sister - my sympathy to you and your family. It will be one year ago on April 19th that I lost my brother with Down's - he was 53. His heart was full of love and forgiveness. He touched many lives through his life. He also had a remarkable memory. Oh, how I miss him!
My cousin Evan Evans is a true hero to me, as well as J.R. Martinez and Melisa Schoeppler-Mounsey and My other mother Rosemary Azevedo-Martins They have touched my life in many different ways and I love them dearly and my sister through Christ Teresa Kelderhouse who is always by my side through all my struggles
I first found your blog through this heartfelt post about your sister...I am lucky to be the mom of a remarkable son with Asperger's Syndrome. Accept my sympathy on the loss of your sister- no matter how long ago it was, a loss is a loss, especially of one so dear. :'(
I first found your blog through this heartfelt post about your sister...I am lucky to be the mom of a remarkable son with Asperger's Syndrome. Accept my sympathy on the loss of your sister- no matter how long ago it was, a loss is a loss, especially of one so dear. :'(
Great post! My favorites are my hubs Dan Humphris, my sibs Erin Moran Klopack, Patrick Moran and Bridget
Great post! My favorites are my hubs Dan Humphris, my sibs Erin Moran Klopack, Patrick Moran and Bridget
My Dads little sister has down Syndrome and she is 50 something now I tag her as my favorite for she has defied her odds ^^
Nearly every person I have known with down's syndrome has a huge capacity for love. The one thing they seem to be missing is the capcity to be mean.
Nearly every person I have known with down's syndrome has a huge capacity for love. The one thing they seem to be missing is the capcity to be mean.
Larry Cronk and Suzie Cronk, two wonderful people. :-) You both made a huge impact on me in HS.
Larry Cronk and Suzie Cronk, two wonderful people. :-) You both made a huge impact on me in HS.
and "Hello my handsome," too!
I thought about it... I vote for you...YOU are making the world a better place
((hugs)) sending love and prayers she is beautiful!
What a beautiful tribute. My brother, who also has DS, says, "Hello my beautiful
hmmmmm, my favourite....tha would be my dog, my mom, my stepdad, my cats, my friends Holly, Roberta, Angel, Mary, and they are all my favourite as they love me unconditionally and I them :)
Shannon Conder your my favorite because you have taught me so much about life you see the good in everything and you make me want to live that way too. Your my favorite because you showed me how to love myself and how to be the person that I always wanted to be. Your my favorite today tomorrow and always Shannon I love you :)
Beautiful.
My favorite person is my twin sister Ness Walkling. She has been there for me through everything. We basically raised each other. She is the ying to my yang. She is like no one else and my heart skips a beat when i hear her name. We want to grow old together. Love you sis xoxoxoxox
Wow, this is so beautiful. Your story blessed my heart so much...
This story caught my attention because she has the same name as me. I hope I can show some of these qualities more in my life...the line that stuck out to me is to "express love for all in all times and places"...so beautiful!
My sister Nan, also a mentally challenged person always greets each of her 4 siblings with "you are my favorite (brother or sister)!!! I just know that she is MY favorite and I love her like no other!
Thank you for sharing the story of your sister with the rest of us! She would be so proud of you!
Kelle Cryderman Hampton is my favorite blog to read because it inspires me to be a more joyful person and a more attentive mama.
My 3 year old is my favorite. She is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew my whole world would call me mommy one day. It's amazing
I love that...my daughter says every friend she has is her best friend!
What a great tribute to Carissa!
Everyone who loves me just as I am is my favorite person in the whole world.
my four kids are all my favorite! I could have never known what true happiness was without them! They take my breath away and I LOVE IT!
Heather Panettiere, YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!!!!! I, too, have learned so much from my sister, and know what it's like to always want to be more like her. A sister's love cannot be broken or changed by anything that this world can throw at us. It is a bond like no other, and I am so blessed to share that bond with you!!! I love you forever!!!! xoxoxoxo