Don’t know how they did it… My sister is celebrating her tenth anniversary with her husband today.
Actually, I do know how they did it.
He was awesome, she was awesome, and they never stopped being awesome.
Happy Anniversary Tomi and Dan.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
How did they do it?...lot's of hard work, communication, understanding and Trust with a capital T. The ability to admit you were wrong is helpful. Don't say "words" that hurt because you can't take them back once you say them and they do tend to make the other person feel that "yuck" feeling when words are thrown around like dirty plates. Be respectful...
During the hardest period of my marriage (we just celebrated 10 years), I realized something: No matter, what, at the end of the day, for whatever reason, when my husband walks through the door, I am happy to see him. Even if the reason is that he is home to take over the crazy that is the children, I would never want that feeling of relief of him walking through the door to end. I remember that every time I am frustrated with a rough patch.
I took my best friend to Tahoe with me to meet a lot of my family last year. Everyone on that side of the family have been married for over 25 years. Myown parents, 29 years this year. My best friend asked my Tia Sandy how her and Tio Dan have made it all these 40 year of marriage. My Tia Sandy said "We didnt have a choice," And grinned.
A week ago my maternal grandparents celebrated their 65 wedding anniversary, my paternal Grandparents were married 67 years before my Grandmother passed. There is a legacy and much to be learned from their experiences. Certainly both couples faced hard times. How they faced them is key. Looking at them and their children, at how both sides of my family treat each other to this day, I don't think there is a 'right' way to do things. One side is lovely and supportive and comes together, the other there is constant bickering and anger and an inability to come together even in the most important moments.
Longevity can be a beautiful thing, so can dedication in other ways. I felt joyful and hopeful when I read that you and your ex took Noah to Disneyland together. Your shared devotion to your son is a beautiful thing. Your ex's new husband being open to that relationship is also lovely and enviable. We all have lasting relationships in our lives (marriage and otherwise) and honouring them, allowing them to change, keeping them healthy is hard work. Thanks for sharing about how you and your family do that. Just knowing that exists in the world helps changes it for the better.
I bet they're still together because not only are they awesome but when things have been hard they don't quit on each other, they sacrifice and work it out. I love successful marriage stories. Congratulations to them!
we'll be celebrating 8 years in October. Goes by FAST. We've had our ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. We have a foundation of commitment and loyalty that no matter what (barring the inconceivable) we will work it out. What's left after doing all the hard work is a love deeper than I've ever experienced before in my life. He's seen me at my worst with post partum depression trying to heal from an unwanted cesarean and has loved and supported me through it. I've sacrificed for him following him around the country and going for MONTHS with him being gone since he is active duty navy. I love him more now than I did the day we were married. When things get rough I always remind myself: The grass may be greener on the other side, but you still have to mow it, weed it, water it, nurture it and help it grow. Better to cultivate what you already have than try to start over again with someone who doesn't have any history with you. And honestly, he's the only person that could ever love these stretch marks and c-section scar as much as he does, because I got them bearing his children :)
Next March my parents will be celebrating 45 years of wedded bliss...and I do mean bliss! They're so cute, I get a little jealous sometimes, lol. I've been married....well...more than once...ok, twice. Their secret? Mutual respect. What a concept! :D
Soon I'll have been married to my wonderful husband for 22 years, more than half my lifetime. It works for us.
Married my high school sweetheart 22 years ago, in November. We started dating at 16. Married at 20. Had our first child just 3 years ago. Congrats everyone!
My husband and I will celebrate 10 years in November. Even when I want to strangle him, I PRETEND that I am happy with him and the feelings change. I force myself to remember the reasons why I married him. I truly believe that you CHOOSE feelings. They don't just happen, so if you CHOOSE to love someone and stick with that person through good times and bad, everything else will work out. There was a story that was passed around about 6 months back that talks about a man who was having an affair and then wanted to divorce his wife for the "other woman". His wife agreed, but said before the divorce he had to carry her to bed for 30 days. She also wanted to wait to tell her son until his school year was over. So during the 30 days, while carrying his wife, he remembered all the good things about her: how she smelled, how her face looked...etc. and he began to fall in love with her again. On day 30, he came home with flowers and was going to tell his wife he was leaving the "other woman". He found his wife dead in bed. She had cancer and never told him. I don't know if this is a true story but it shows how if you CHOOSE to feel love, you will. I think that's what your sister and her DH did through the years. They CHOSE to live through EVERYTHING, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and stay together no matter what. CONGRATS!! THEY DESERVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Also, with that said, I don't value being married more than being single. People who are single are just in a different place than I am, and neither is better or worse, in my opinion.)
I will be celebrating 17 years (half my life) with my husband on June 2. It has definitely not been easy, but we have 8 great kids and we're still trying to make it last every day.
I made it to my 12th before getting divorced. Congrats to them and I wish them many more happy years!
I love your sister Tomi! Congrats to them for the first 10 years, it's a piece of cake after that. Not really.....
Congrats to them. Our 15th is this August. Some days I want to strangle him, but for the most part, it's been a pretty good 15 years, with 3 amazing kids and a lot of great memories.
Love that photo. May have to borrow that idea. We hit 15 this year. It hasn't been all eating rainbows and pooping butterflies. But we've made it. Congrats to them. You're still awesome, even if you don't make it :)
Aww! Happy anniversary to them! My eleventh anniversary is in two months, and there are days when I wonder how I managed to stay married for so long. Other days I wonder how I got so lucky as to find my husband. I'm sure your sister feels the same way. Hope they had a WONDERFUL time today!