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Looking for a Seriously Goofy Woman

So, after a nice long woman fast, I finally decided to get back into the dating game, which… you know… means I’m also back on an awkward dating website.

In the past, I’ve always posted a pretty typical profile: “Hey, I’m Dan. I feel so silly writing this. I like long walks on the beach, hiking, and I love kids.” You know… the same cheesy fluff ball stuff that everybody writes.

But this time, I decided to make my profile into a ridiculous and (hopefully) funny poem. I figure, I’m a crazy goof, I’m attracted to crazy goofs, so chances are if a woman actually likes it, we may get along great (as crazy goofs).

 

Why I’m sharing it here, I don’t know.

Okay, the real truth is that I spent too much time on said dating website, which means I didn’t get another post done for today.

Anyway, here’s my goofy poem, made to lure-in goofy women. :)

Hey, I’m Dan.

If I had a wish
Then it would be
That someone like you
Would go out with me

We’d joke and laugh
And be kind of stupid
We’d try to forget
That we met on okcupid

Then we’d find all sorts of things
That we both like to do
Like dancing or traveling or
Shopping for shoes

For me I love skiing
And volleyball and hiking
Karaoke and poker
And boating and biking

A night out, a night in
It wouldn’t quite matter
We’d eat yummy food
And both get a bit fatter

And since we’re both sexy
And talented, and smart
And because we got off to
An incredible start

We’d kiss just one time
And ten times after that
And before we knew it
We’d both start to laugh

Cause it’s funny you know
This thing we call love
We can’t choose who we fall for
When push comes to shove

We just follow our instincts
And hope they ring true
And hope it’s with someone
As awesome as you.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Okay all you people who are on a dating website or who have ever been on a dating website… what profile awesomeness tends to lure you in? What has worked for you when it comes to finding the kind of people you enjoy being with?

291 comments
modernmom23
modernmom23

I know several friends who have found love on dating sites.  I my try one in a year or two since my own method of choosing partners hasn't worked out.  Maybe a computer can do better...

coraraestratton
coraraestratton

Dating websites have not worked for me. I think since I'm so young the guys my age are still acting as though they are teenagers. I think I've had a dating website for two years and have only gone on two dates, WHICH didn't work out AT ALL I might add. There was defiantly NOT a second date to either of them. 

JessicaMcAllister
JessicaMcAllister

I met my husband on a dating site, and I've gotta tell you. . . it was his correct grammar and proper sentence structure that first caught my eye. That and not ONCE did he say "Hey baby. Holla if you wanna." :) It was love at first sight.

Tisha
Tisha

I spent many months on dating websites only to get frustrated and bored.  I was actually  matched up with the same guy on two different websites unknowingly.  After the first blind date, I knew he wasn't for me, but was too shy to tell him.  We started chatting later (he had a different login on a different site) and went out on a second blind date.  Still not compatible :)  I finally decided to give up dating altogether; then my friend decided to set me up with a stranger that worked with her brother. THAT blind date worked!  We have been together 6 yrs and married for three, and we have a wonderful blended family.  His 3rd marriage; my second.  Your poem would have been exactly the kind of thing to get my attention during those dating years.  I'm an English teacher, so anyone that can use language so well is A-OK in my book!  Humor is always a plus.  Hang in there!  Maybe third time's the charm for you as well.

New York payday loan
New York payday loan

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! keep up the good work.

theginabean
theginabean

I'm too afraid of dating websites to even take a peak...

But that's a terrific poem! Dr. Seuss, I bet, would approve :)

Goldsled
Goldsled

One time when I got to the part about " What are you looking for in a partner" I put honesty would be nice for a change. :)  It worked and got a few responses.

Carol Ball
Carol Ball

Love the poem! My divorce is almost final, been separated for 10 months. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, haven't had much luck with those, lol. I want a friend, someone who likes the same crazy stuff I do, who can listen to great music with me while eating something yummy. Someone who loves his own kids/fam the same way I love mine. The Depeche Mode song "Somebody", that's kinda what I want. After being with someone my whole adult life so far (I'm 32, and I started dating my ex when I was 18), I'm not in any hurry to be seriously involved, but it would be nice to have someone to be friends with, you know?

Jen Gula
Jen Gula

I've never tried online dating (and have been in a realtionship for almost 7 years), but if I were on that site and read your poem I would definitely send a message. Cute. :)

mamatree
mamatree

Dan, if I wasn't 10 years older than you I'd be scouring OKCupid now trying to find you.   That is to say, I think the poem is great.  

CarpeDiemTim
CarpeDiemTim

Wow, way to go, Dan! (the poem, that is...) In terms of what kind of profile awesomeness tends to lure me in, it's a huge question, but in general, I'd say someone who has a great, genuine smile is towards the top of my list. I'm a sucker for a good smile, and in fact, I'd go as far as to say that I'm rarely attracted to people who don't have pictures of them with a smile on their face. If you can't be happy, then how am I supposed to be happy with you, right?

Chea
Chea

People tell me Im a dork all the time. Gotta have a sense of humor! :)

Chea
Chea

I would reply to something like that.

KelliSueBrown
KelliSueBrown

You do realize that by putting this on here you are making sure all these single ladies that follow you on SDL want to get on the dating site you are on and make sure you see how "goofy" they are and maybe just maybe they can become Mrs. SDL!! LOL, Funny, but also pretty true! Helping your odds is a pretty smart move! :) 

Kaitlin1
Kaitlin1

Love it!  I met my husband on a dating site.  He had been on it awhile.  I was dared to get on it.  It turned out awesome!  If I had read your profile it would have peeked interest.

kylee26
kylee26

I love the poem! And yes dating websites are all awkward... I am on one now too... blah! Good luck to you and your searching! 

Cristina Cook
Cristina Cook

Yes, on line! More than 7 years ago, I had this handsome Italian waiting patiently in My line ar the pharmacy counter, and after he works the nerve up to talk with me about anything else but medicine, holds 10 more people up!: We are still together:)

DReamer
DReamer

Dan: I think life is hard without humor to soften all the edges.  If I was single, you are right up my alley.  I truly hope & pray that Ms. UH-huh is reading this

or just about to send you a message.  Lots of laughter, love & light.  Diana, happily married for 19.5 years to a man I dated for 3 months before we wed.

StevoJohnson
StevoJohnson

I met my girlfriend through okCupid.  It seemed a little awkward to be on a dating site but I found an amazing woman who makes me so very happy that it doesn't really seem to matter any more.

 

The best advice I can give you is to be completely honest, try to capture the core of what makes you you, and be up-front about your deal-breakers (no-smoking/drugs, must like kids, etc. etc. etc.).

Beth Clay Burton
Beth Clay Burton

Met mine on the Internet and he was restating the line in Bull Durham about what he believes in. Been together 4 years.

Melissa Davis
Melissa Davis

I wish someone cared about MY stupid poems! LOL

Dorothy Manning
Dorothy Manning

I love the poem.Love keeping up with single Dad.Hope you find a Lady.

Samantha Moore
Samantha Moore

@ Melissa Oh darlin, cheer up! I know quite of few men who have dated and married single moms without wanting anymore kids! That was actually part of the appeal these men wanted to be Dad's minus the baby stage :) It will happen - no worries. Ps: most of these gentlemen are teachers :)

Colleen Carson
Colleen Carson

Dan, If I were still single, that would SO get my attention! I love a sense of humor in a man that isn't afraid to show it.

Melissa Davis
Melissa Davis

On a more serious note, though, Dan, I think I'm terrified of dating because I've accepted the fact that, in order to ever date again, I'd have to find a man who is also a single parent. I'm not sure a single man without children would understand my life, or how life is with children, in general. It can be crazy. Also, I'm scared to even try to date at this point, because having three children under the age of five is sure to scare off any possible suitors. I can't have anymore children, so a single man who wants children wouldn't want my life, either. Are there single dads out there who would accept that I have three children, too? Should I even dangle my toes in that water? I don't even know where I would start! It's certain, though, that no one wants to reserve themselves to, or accept the fate of being alone, or without another significant other in their lives. I know I don't! Do you have an article about THAT?

Melissa Davis
Melissa Davis

I'm a single mother of three, and I'm terrified of dating! So, uhh, yeah... call me!

Melissa Davis
Melissa Davis

And I've got poems, too! You've got to be the only man in the world who enjoys poetry these days! I love languages, grammar, and semantics, oh and etymology!

Cheryl Rhodes-Cole
Cheryl Rhodes-Cole

I would have definitely responded! What a great belly laugh! Just love ur humor!

MiriamJane
MiriamJane

seriously i've been on dating websites but if i ever came across this i'd be doing everything i could to get your attention!  a sense of humor is the sexiest thing EVER! And the fact that you took the time to write something like that shows your serious!!!! will you marry me?! ;) jk unless you want to! lol

LisaM
LisaM

Hey Dan, I'm a lesbian and this makes ME want to date you! Love it. Originality and sincerity matter. 

RobynMartin
RobynMartin

I met my husband on Match in 2003... I found him.  52% compatibility rating... which, for those of you at home, isn't an auspicious start for a relationship.  But it worked for us.  (Although I had to laugh that I initially typed "combatibility".)  We didn't match up well on paper, but our second date (that I consider our FIRST date) was 11 hours long and included a pretty serious hike and although my out of shape legs were sore, but my cheeks and belly were SO sore because I laughed the entire time.  Laughter.  That's what's important.  And not lying about your height or posting a picture that's a decade old... come on... if all goes well, the goal is to meet IRL, right?

JackieAnderson
JackieAnderson

I tried Match once for 30 days. I met a liar, smooth talker and a stalker (really). Good luck ~ I like your silly poem. You're prob not a serial killer - but I am pretty sure online dating sites are frequented by stalkers, serial killers and like 10% good guys. (if you can't tell I am being silly ~ obviously there is not nearly enough serial killers to frequent all the dating sites and the % of good guys might be slightly too high)

Taysia Johnson
Taysia Johnson

Haha I love it!! I'm trying to avoid dating websites... But it seems like nowadays that's the only way to find someone... Sigh...

Taysia Johnson
Taysia Johnson

Haha I love it!! I'm trying to avoid dating websites... But it seems like nowadays that's the only way to find someone... Sigh...

Joan B. Lafontaine
Joan B. Lafontaine

darn it! you are way to young for me. or I am too old and ohhhh poop!

Joan B. Lafontaine
Joan B. Lafontaine

darn it! you are way to young for me. or I am too old and ohhhh poop!

Amy Black Bear
Amy Black Bear

My marriage began with a conversation about makup....I was chatting to another girl in a game called secretsofwar about my dislike of makeup and the man who is now my husband popped up out of nowhere with "I don't like makup either" and I went 0.o wtf mate? yup wierd way to start a life long relationship

Lynnelle Snowbarger
Lynnelle Snowbarger

I would totally reply... In fact I would have replied back in a poem. I love it. It would have caught my attention. :) Good Luck! I admire you getting out there again. Your giving me the boost of courage I need to get my game on too!!! I need to get out of Singleland.

Jonelle VanBuren
Jonelle VanBuren

5 years married with my " lucky spin" on yahoo personals. When finding a date in a bar just isnt appropriate. LOL its been really wonderful

Shannon Campbell Haubrich
Shannon Campbell Haubrich

Try that again...lol. I met my hubby online 15 years ago as a pen pal on aol. We met online in January, in person in March and married in August of 1997. It can happen. ;)

Caitlin Flopkins
Caitlin Flopkins

I married a man I met offline (in fact, we used okcupid too!). The thing that got us started talking online? His profile said "I bet my hair's better than your's." I took him up on that bet & lost, lol. Worst first date in all of history, second best date I've ever had. Good luck! :)

Sara Michaels
Sara Michaels

6 blissful happy years with my "blind date off the internet".....yup, he was awkward online, but mmmhmmm in person that was another story indeed LOL

Tiffani
Tiffani

 @JessicaMcAllister If I could "like" this a hundred times, I would :D I look for the sames types of things on dating profiles; it shows the guy is smart!