“What other people think about you is none of your business.” One of my readers wrote that in the comments one day and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Is it really none of my business what other people think about me? The answer is, absolutely, 100%, without a doubt yes. And it is none of your business what anybody else thinks about you, either. And I mean anybody.
There are a few big reasons, to me, why this statement is true.
First, no matter how hard we try, it is nearly impossible to keep the negative voices of others from affecting us in some way. No matter how thick of shells we put on, no matter how strong we think we are, and no matter how impervious to the negativity of others we believe ourselves to be, the negative or hurtful voices of others will find ways to creep in. As we strengthen ourselves and learn to keep what others think out, those voices and opinions have a way of occasionally blindsiding us. I don’t believe any of us are ever completely immune to it.
Take, for example, dating. I am generally very confident when it comes to dating. I believe that I’m attractive and sexy, I believe that I’m worthy, I believe that I’m a good guy, I believe that I’m intelligent, I believe that I am ambitious enough, I believe I am a great catch. This confidence usually helps in that I don’t believe any woman is out of my league, I don’t believe any woman is too good for me, and I don’t believe there is a reason for any woman I take out not to like me. This is not to say that I’m cocky or arrogant, in fact I’m very much the opposite. It’s just to say that I am confident and that that confidence really tends to help me get and have some great dates.
A little while back, I was visiting my brother and his family in England. I have always been close to him and his wife. They are people I love and respect.
Before making the trip, I called my brother and told him we should all go on a double date while I was out there and asked him if there were any women he could set me up with. He mentioned the name of a drop-dead gorgeous girl that I had met some years previously and he said he would arrange it. I told him to go for it.
I arrived in England and he hadn’t made the arrangements yet, nor had he talked to his wife about it (who happens to be best friends with this woman). So, I brought it up myself and told his wife that we should make it happen. Her immediate response was hard laughter followed by a fairly rude “you and her… uhhh… no. There’s no way you two would work.”
Kick me between the legs.