A couple days into my blogging break, Samantha and I decided to take a little hike together. We went into the hills behind my home and thought we’d be doing nothing more than enjoying some sunshine, laughing, walking, and sweating a few of life’s frustrations out together.
What we got was an adventure with Bigfoot.
It all started when we found this in the trail…
Now, I’m no biologist, archeologist, or anythingist, but that to me looks like a big ol’ giant footprint from something big ol’ and giant.
The print itself was about fifteen or sixteen inches long. That’s even longer than my size 14 clodhoppers. Whoever left this, was bigger than me. And I’m a big dude.
And, whoever left this, was out walking in the mud with bare feet. Basic deductive reasoning tells me that no six foot eight guy would ever do that. It just wouldn’t make sense.
Which brought us to one obvious conclusion. Noah and I are neighbors with a Bigfoot.
We found another footprint, this one less defined, about five feet ahead. Then another. Then another. Whatever it was had a large running stride.
Then we found this, which we could only assume was Bigfoot urine. I mean, what else could it be?
This of course made us curious. And a little scared. And a little excited. And a little adventurous. So we started looking for more signs of the big humanesque ape.
Our next clue was this. Could it be Bigfoot’s napping meadow?
Next we found the scene of Bigfoot’s binger. I’d heard of lawn chairs and beer going missing in our neighborhood. We all thought it was punk seven-year olds. But now I know better. Bigfoot likes his booze.
Then we found two lady bugs humping. I’m still trying to figure out what that has to do with Bigfoot, but I’m sure it means something.
Then, things started getting weirder.
We found a giant hand shaped print.
And a big claw mark.
Our speculation was that Bigfoot and a mountain lion were brawling. Or playing beer pong. It was hard to tell with the prints being a couple hundred feet from each other.
And if you think we’re crazy, think again. We weren’t the only ones on Bigfoot’s trail that day.
I never considered paintball guns to be effective weapons against terrifying mammals, but yeah, why not. I can see how they’d work.
And then…
We saw him
Or her.
It’s hard to tell a Bigfoot’s sex from such a distance.
What, you can’t see him (or her) in that picture? Here, let me point the harry beast out to you.
And then I’ll just zoom in a little bit…
And a little more…
There you are ya big monkey man, you.
Yep. We found Bigfoot.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. We didn’t really find Bigfoot. So don’t go call the Bigfoot Hunters or anything.
PPS. We wish we really found Bigfoot.
PPPS. We did really find those giant footprints.
PPPPS. We did really find those two lady bugs humping.
PPPPPS. Admit that you’re just a *little* bit jealous that I live in such a pretty place.
I'm convinced!
Not only did you find Bigfoot, but you also got a photo of the Big Foot and proof it wears pink nail polish. Man that's one gnarly foot!
Dan, you should make casts of the footprints you guys found and have them assessed by the nearest Bigfoot research center or whatever it's called. I watch "Finding Bigfoot" on Animal Planet all the time, and UT is prime sasquatch territory.
Good one!! Love the "fun"!
Great adventure story. I have to share this with my son.
I live in Oregon. We have people who I know that search for Bigfoot all the time I'm the PAC nw.
Haha nice.
haha :) awesome
lol!!! Try and find the sock-eater in the dryer next. I'm sure he has a HUGE pile of mismatched socks! tehehe. Great post!!
funny!
Giggles! :)
Dude, you're awesome. I am tempted to call the B.F. hunters just to see them fish for nothing. LOL.
funny....very very funny....I am glad you found your sense of humor Dan
As always, your blogs are really, really tremendously entertaining.......Thank you so much for the chuckles! :)
What a cute post Dan,
How fun your adventure was. Where you live is very beautiful what an amazing place. So what's next? You gonna find the lock ness monster??
So so funny. I am very Jealous of where you live. Did you take a plaster mold of the footprint and a sample of that strange liquid for analysis?
Excellent story! Sounds like just the kind of adventure you need when life has been getting too heavy. Thanks for sharing! It sets the bar for my vacation, which starts this week.
Too funny, Dan! Love it! Emma found two bugs on top of each other the other day and oh the questions, lol
That was awesome hahaha! Love your blog :)
I am totally jealous you live in such a beautiful place :) I am from UT and miss it so much. Where I live now is extremely beautiful and I know I will miss it when we leave, but I'm anxious to go back home
Reading your final PPPPPS made me so excited to move to Utah, because I am in fact, jealous that you live in such a beautiful place ;)
Insect porn is awesome!!
Good story. The foot print is likely the front and hind foot of a black bear. We found almost exactly the same thing in Missouri along a river bank. But we still kept a lookout for Bigfoot! Or Mo-Mo in our case.
How fun! Started reading, and had a big ole grin the entire time. You are just precious. Thanks for the great story, and of course, the photos. I believe that you make an adventure out of most things :) Keep posting! Thanks.
I have to admit... I completely fell in love with Northern UT/Southeastern ID when I visited there the few times I have.... the vistas are nothing short of breathtaking. I grew up/live in New England, and have always loved driving through the White Mountains in NH and Green Mountains in VT. And while they're quite beautiful in their own right, the Rockies (and Grand Tetons) are just amazing to behold. I do know that if I lived out in that area, I would never cease being in awe of the raw beauty of the mountains and wide valleys in that general area.
Big feet - big hands, apparently...
@MadgeMadigan um..and big bladder!!
ok..I'm a little bit jealous...and I LOVE your sense of humor!!
nope not jealous. lol I lived in Yosemite, and now I live in the right near the mountains of northern California (Lake Tahoe, Donner Pass etc). But I have to admit I've never seen any evidence of Bigfoot, that would definitely rock my socks
Beautiful place, cool footprint--basketball player size. I live in a beautiful place too near the Olympic Mts on a peninsula in Washington state, but yours is gorgeous too.
I just loved that you're talking about the footprint being bigger than your feet, and then the picture shoes painted toenails. Definitely did a double-take on that one.
@AmyGoodrichGoodwin that's funny!! Didn't even realize that!!! :)
I am a LOT jealous that you live in such a pretty place!!!!
Juanita Butts
http://adventuresinhomeschooling-butts.blogspot.com/
Love this :o) Thanks for the laughter xx
LOL!! I love this!! What an adventure!! How creative!
Too funny! Thanks for the laughs :)
That was really fun to read. I really enjoyed it.
Awesome!
fantastic!
As always I
So funny.
I AM jealous that you live in a place that big foot could even possibly be :) Awesome story!!
cute! :D The ladybug pic is hilarious!
You're awesome! :)
Lol awesome
Who is Samantha?
cute story... thanks for sharing.
and this is why I adore your blog :)
I like creating picture stories too. My facebook profile is full of albums that have stories going along with the pictures like a book lol.
Yes, I am jealous of where you live. I live in El Paso... not so pretty. But soon we're headed for Alaska! Which I'm pretty sure will beat Utah. Lol. The footprints are way cool! Although if I were there it'd probably freak me out a little.