On SDL’s Facebook Page, I posted a simple question. “What is something you’ve found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would?” The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure. Also, be sure to read the previous installments of You Said WHAT to your kid?

  • When we draw a picture of someone, it is not necessary to draw their peepees as well.
  • Boys! Take the frogs out of your mouths, put your swim trunks back on, and come inside for dinner!
  • Stop licking the coffee table and eat your breakfast!
  • Yes my boobies are big and soft. Yes they are good to use for pillows.
  • Me: “Did I say lay down quietly and go to sleep? Or did I say jump back and forth from each others’ beds until one of you falls off and cries??” 5 year old: “Um..I think it was the second one but I’m not sure.”
  • Stop licking the floor and get back in the tub!
  • Take your underwear out of your mouth and put it on.
  • Get your head out of the dog’s mouth.
  • No, you can’t eat the dead spider.
  • We don’t eat our friends!
  • Why is there poop on your face?
  • It’s probably not a good idea to lay in the dog’s bed after taking a shower!
  • Don’t let the dog put his tongue in your mouth!
  • Our peanut butter sandwiches do not go in the VCR.
  • NO! Urinal cakes are not for eating!
  • Do not lick your brothers bum!
  • We don’t chew on batteries.
  • We don’t use our poop to paint pictures.

>>I published this edition of You said WHAT to your kid?! on my Babble Voices blog, and I’m only permitted to post a snippet of it here. Read the whole thing and comment on Danoah Unleashed. It’s worth the click cause they get funnier and funnier! >>

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!