• I went on a second date with a guy…I went to his apartment before the date and was greeted by his female roommate (that I knew nothing about). I casually asked who she was and her reply? “Oh, don’t worry, we’re not dating, just sleeping together.”
  • I was asked to have a threesome… Within the first half hour.
  • That my date was in the bathroom stall next to me. He went into the ladies room by mistake.
  • Once a guy brought me to a movie. He took off his shoes during the show and started picking at his toenails.
  • He had a bigger tramp stamp than I do.
  • I went on a date with a guy who told me he wanted to get wolf canines surgically implanted into his jaw.
  • He wanted to “do it” wearing a Michael Meyers Halloween mask.
  • I was on a date with a guy and we went back to his place and I had no idea this nice, gentle librarian had five genital piercings.
  • I was on a first date with a guy who seemed oddly interested in what kind of hair products/blow dryer I used. It finally came out that he was obsessed with his chest hair and used mousse, a round brush and a blow dryer to style his. He offered to show me. It was a short date.
  • That he sometimes had the urge to kill random people walking down the street (either by shooting or strangling them), and that the doctor said that despite his meds, there was no cure for his homicidal urges. But oh, don’t worry–he would never kill someone he knows, just like a homeless person or something.
  • On an unsuccessful first date when i was saying goodbye, he brought out a duffel bag and said he had prepared some after-dinner activities. He proceeded to open said bag and reveal a multitude of sex toys to include…a cattle prod! I ran and never looked back.
  • Once went out with a guy who told me on the one and only date that he was obsessed with cuticle trimmers and could he please give me a manicure?
  • When I first met my husband, I noticed that when I talked “straight at his face,” he’d quickly shift his head to the left. Fearing I had rank breath, I ventured, “Does my breath smell?” Turned out he was deaf in his left ear. Not so odd until HE found out *I* had no sense of smell. So when we had kids, he couldn’t hear them cry and I couldn’t smell a dirty diaper. But our kids are rather well adjusted so it all worked out.
  • He ended up having no drivers license, one headlight out, and he made a drug deal at the bar we went to.
  • He was obsessed with eyes… And licking them.
  • He picked his nose & ate it. At a restaurant.
  • My best friend had a guy turn to her and say, “I think I know you well enough to tell you this, now. I’m really the Archangel Gabriel and I’m here on a mission from God.” My friend responded, “You will never know anyone well enough to tell them that.”
  • He was married, and his wife decided to join the date without him knowing. His face was priceless.
  • I was on a first date at a small restaurant, so the bathrooms were for one person at a time. When I excused myself to go to the bathroom my date asked me if I was just going to pee. When I finally found my voice and said yes, he asked if he could come with me, but just to listen, he didn’t need to watch. Because that’s so much better.
  • On a blind date, our first conversation started while staring at the fish tank waiting for the table. That made him think of his daughter’s goldfish. I was happy he was so comfortable talking about kids until he got to the punchline.. . In an argument with the daughter he swallowed the fish, alive, in front of her friends. He told her that now no one had to worry about whether or not the fish had been fed. That reminded him of the time he bit an iguana’s head off to make a point or something. All through dinner, I watched him eat and just couldn’t shake the mental image of him getting upset one day and eating my miniature schnauzer!

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Which was your favorite “experience?” And, knowing that I might use it in a blog post, what is the most odd, funny, horrifying, or weird thing you’ve discovered about someone you were on a date with?

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!