Imagine my surprise when I opened my front door three hours ago, and some baby-face teenager in a delivery uniform squeaked out, “are you Dan?” He was holding out two fantastic looking somethings.
“Yep, that’s me.”
He squeaked again. “These are for you. Just sign here.”
I signed and he handed me two of the most amazing food bouquets ever. One was a giant mug with strawberries on sticks. And on those strawberries was all sorts of fine chocolate goodness. The other was a vase filled with fruit and marshmallows on sticks, much of which were also dipped in fine chocolate.
Some company called Edible Arrangements sent them to me unexpectedly and for no reason but to let me try them.
It was all the proof I needed that there’s a god.
Do you know how much I love chocolate? And especially fancy fine chocolate? And especially fancy sweet fruit dipped in fancy fine chocolate?
And then the kicker…
Two days ago, I pinky promised my friend Samantha that I would start a strict low-carb diet for one month with her. NO CHEATING, we promised each other. And I can’t break that promise because… well… we linked pinkies when we made it. And that’s stronger than a notarized legal document.
Sigh.
As I moped and grunted and wrapped the bouquets back up, I realized if it was proof that there’s a a god, it’s also proof that he has a cruel sense of humor.
I mean, come on… he coulda sent ‘em last Sunday when I was downing everything in sight. Last splurge meal and all.
Now I have to find a new home for these things without ever nibbling a single one of them.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Have you ever had something awesome given you or happen to you that you weren’t able to take advantage of? And… anybody wanna take these things off my hands?
Well working in a doughnut shop expectantly gave me an abscessed tooth once. But I didn't have any money so I had to fix the problem, which was too much sugar, by completely and utterly cutting both processed and carb sugars from my diet. I suffered massive withdrawals and by the end of 2 weeks the doughnuts all had an angelic halo (I swear I am not making this up!). But you know, it worked, and believe it or not I healed the massive infection in my mouth after a month of due diligence. I guess life works in mysterious ways because it both taught me how to fix my body, and how to avoid future problems by giving me so much pain. :)
I'm living proof of God's sense of humour. I have a really sweet tooth, so a by-product of my immense IVF weight gain (20kg in 3 months [most of it lost again now]) was type 2 diabetes. And my favourite food group has always been dairy, so in my early to mid 20s I became lactose intolerant. (I have also found a solution to that, but that's not really the point.)
I woulda froze them!!!
a test of strength from Him!!
put them in the freezer--put them in the freezeer!!!
My daughter has been asking for one of those for, like, forever! You can send them her way, she just had surgery on Weds. (Her 9th back surgery and she is 10)
Maybe... it you call the Edible Arrangement people and explain your dilemma, they will take pity on you and send another bouquet. A wonderful friend sent one to me right after my surgery... and oh my my my... it is worth the whining it might take to convince them.
Maybe she sent them to you to tempt you? LOL They look delicious!
Heh, proof that god is evil more like
I think you should eat them! Life is short
You can eat the kale garnish! :D
Funny or not funny ... I receive an edible arrangement as a thank you - it was delivered to my house while I was out of town. My neighbors called to tell me they accepted the package for me and would hold it til I returned in 10 days but the tummies would have been nasties by then... My neighbors enjoyed them that night and said they were really yummy!
Be thankful for your awesome willpower and the ability to keep a promise to a friend. Both great qualities in a human :)
Simply freeze for later, or send them to me :)
Be careful with that "low carb diet". The brain needs carbs to function!!! It is better to have well balanced meals and cut calories. Fruit is a healthy snack! Read the glucous revolution. Seriously! Eat a little of that healthy gift!!!!
I could have a lot of fun here...my house is filled with seven kids at this moment. If i were to show them this picture...you might have to barricade yourself in!
I could have a lot of fun here...my house is filled with seven kids at this moment. If i were to show them this picture...you might have to barricade yourself in!
can u express ship them to canada? :)
Ha! Those look delicious...fruit and chocolate? There are not many things better than that delectable combination!
Who wouldn't want those? Oh gosh, I don't know if I would be able to resist the temptation. Kudos for your strength of will!
I WAANNNNTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
I love edible arrangements. Fruit is a good carb. I don't think I would have had the same will power.
LOL !! God does have a sense of humor but he didnt send you those fine masterpieces ! But i guarantee you that if you DONT touch them and stick to your promise that the next goodie bouquet will be even bigger ;-) and more sinful LOL
Feel free to bring them to your FAVORITE AUNT!!(That's ME!!)
oh goodness - I'm going to have to go get myself some choco-covered strawberries now...or make fondue... If I lived next door I would have come & stolen them away already!
But seriously I live in AZ so I don't know how practical that is!
Call her and have an "Indulgence date", its mostly fruit anyways!! But I do see your problem here, if she's not down for "Indulgence" take these lovely treats to someone who truly deserves some recognition... Maybe a nurses station,fire hall,police station or anyone you just think is an amazing human being! Just a thought!
I bet she's the one who sent them to you to see if you'd cave. Maybe she's wanting u to break your promise so she can too. Or maybe she already did ;) good luck!
Send them to meeeeeee! I have 5 kids that would love to enjoy those!
All bets are off with that kind of freebie :) I would call her and ask her to come share with you,,heck it's fresh fruit dipped in a thin layer of chocolate, can't be all that bad :)
Fruit and chocolate are low carb. and good for you. Eat them! LOL
Cant you just freeze them?
Ooh, me! I'm even local. :)
If you want to pay shipping for across the country to VA I will be glad to ease your burden. lol
those are beautiful and delicious! I love edible arrangements. I'm so sad for you :(
Feel free to send them my way! After the week I've had, some chocolate covered strawberries would make it seem a little....brighter yet fuzzy :)
Gifted food doesn't have calories. Well known fact.
Edible Arrangements is a WONDERFUL company. :) And if those things are dark chocolate, they have lower carbs than milk or white chocolate would. :D You said low-carb, not NO carb. :DBut if you won't give in (have to honor that pinky swear and all), bring them to the local hospital or a nursing home or some such... or even the unemployment office.
They look amazing and honestly - low carb is a very unhealthy way to lose weight. - I say you eat em!
Surely as chocolate comes from cocoa beans then beans is vegetables so fruit n vegetables is good for you. Soooooo get stuck in.
I agree with one of your fb commenters - take it to a nurses station or fire dept . . .
I'll take one! Chocolate dipped anything is simply amazing! :)
I'm given things all the time that I can't eat. I became allergic to milk at age 28, and can't have even a molecule of it. No chocolate, please!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL That SUCKS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I value a man by his capacity to keep promises, so I get you on this one :) isn't there a song about these kid of situations "Ironic' by Alanis Morisette ? lol The free ride when you've already paid ? Story of my life, at least it teaches you to let go of the unimportant ! Good luck keeping your promise !
@RachelSalaun still like how the song ironic has no ironic scenarios in it. Quite ironic really.
I think Samantha would understand the splurge... especially if you share with her! :-)
Poor Dan! I think I may have gained 5lbs just lookin at your pic! lol :)
Cruel, man. Just cruel! Can you ship to Australia? Dan, I vote you let Noah eat them...then take him somewhere he can run. A lot.
Love your blog.
http://theycallmemummy.com
MMMMM me me me!!! I'll take them. Those are my absolute favorite and my kids' favorites. I got these for a teacher retirement party and I was the shit! I probably brought that company like 20 customers. I love getting these more than flower bouquets!! Sorry you couldn't enjoy them. You should have called Samantha over and tempted her with them. Maybe she would cave for just one bit each?? LOL