Imagine my surprise when I opened my front door three hours ago, and some baby-face teenager in a delivery uniform squeaked out, “are you Dan?” He was holding out two fantastic looking somethings.
“Yep, that’s me.”
He squeaked again. “These are for you. Just sign here.”
I signed and he handed me two of the most amazing food bouquets ever. One was a giant mug with strawberries on sticks. And on those strawberries was all sorts of fine chocolate goodness. The other was a vase filled with fruit and marshmallows on sticks, much of which were also dipped in fine chocolate.
Some company called Edible Arrangements sent them to me unexpectedly and for no reason but to let me try them.
It was all the proof I needed that there’s a god.
Do you know how much I love chocolate? And especially fancy fine chocolate? And especially fancy sweet fruit dipped in fancy fine chocolate?
And then the kicker…
Two days ago, I pinky promised my friend Samantha that I would start a strict low-carb diet for one month with her. NO CHEATING, we promised each other. And I can’t break that promise because… well… we linked pinkies when we made it. And that’s stronger than a notarized legal document.
As I moped and grunted and wrapped the bouquets back up, I realized if it was proof that there’s a a god, it’s also proof that he has a cruel sense of humor.
I mean, come on… he coulda sent ’em last Sunday when I was downing everything in sight. Last splurge meal and all.
Now I have to find a new home for these things without ever nibbling a single one of them.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Have you ever had something awesome given you or happen to you that you weren’t able to take advantage of? And… anybody wanna take these things off my hands?