Never is this more apparent than it is with divorce.
How often do we see divorces last years on end because neither side wants to come to the middle? How often do we see two parties fighting endlessly to protect that to which they feel they’re entitled?
How do they not see that they’re trading things for time? How does that not stop them in their tracks and force them to put their priorities straight?
I have been divorced twice now. Believe me, I know the temptation to protect my things. I know the temptation to protect my pride. I know the temptation to fight about contract terms and fairness. I know the temptation to demand certain things that another party should rightfully have no claim to.
But time was always far more important to me than any of that. My life was far more important to me than any of that.
When I was getting divorced, there was no amount of money in the world that was worth the time it would take to protect it. I knew I could make more money.
There was no thing I owned that was worth the time it would take to fight for it. I knew I could always get more things.
And so, I gave whatever I had to give in order to end my divorces in the minimum amount of time possible and in the most peaceful way I could.
Many people told me I was stupid for doing so. Many people told me I was a pushover. Many people told me it was worth going to court, getting a lawyer, and fighting. But I knew better.
My first wife was kind. I gave her more than I probably had to, but I was happy to do so. We wrapped things up quickly and peacefully. My second wife informed me from the very beginning that her parents would pay as much money as it took and drag it out as long as it took to break me of everything. With her I had more in the bank than I did the first time around. I had a lot more things. And I gave her just about everything. There was no way in hell I was going to give up two, three, maybe four years of my life to protect money and things. Not when I could spend that same three or four years of my life free from her, free from that life-draining relationship, free from her parents, and free to do what I had always done… Find ways to make new money and buy new things.
When she came out with the gloves on, ready and willing to give up large amounts of her time and steal just as much of mine, I made a choice to make my time mine. I made the choice to give her most everything I had to protect that which was most important to me. My time. And I have never regretted that choice. Ever. Even though I was left more or less destitute.