I have been trying to be a better Tweeter and Facebooker by doing more than self-promoting my blog and over-bloating my own importance in this world. Some of my updates I’ve knocked out of the park. Others were a serious swing and a miss. Here are the last couple months of randomness that the mind of Dan Pearce often is.

Oh, and if you’re not having fun with us on the personal side of things yet, join us! You can subscribe to my personal public Facebook (this is not my SDL page) updates here or Twitter here.

The Random Mind of Dan Pearce

  • New snow is so magical. Literally. It makes all the dog poop disappear. Just. Like. That.
  • I’m a little embarrassed that I just bragged to a twelve year old about my amazing skills at putting away folding chairs.
  • Canadians, I love you. But your chocolate is subpar. At best.
  • You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours… Guaranteed no two Tyrannosaurus Rex ever said that to each other and then followed through.
  • Apparently there are some things teeth weren’t made to bite through. Like forks. <shudder>
  • I kind of miss the days before cell phones when friends would pull up and honk their car horns to get your attention.
  • What’d you add to the sauce? Oh, fungus grown in chicken crap. Mmmmhmmm…. It’s time to admit mushrooms are what they are people.
  • I just made a kick butt smoothie with mango, peach, and a dash of my “secret” ingredient… And by secret, I mean sugar. #DontTellMyTrainer
  • I feel like hating moths but loving butterflies is a little shallow. I’m shallow.
  • Elephant trunks are neat. All I can do with my nose is scrunch it up and flex my nostrils.
  • I’m so glad that Ken Doll hairdos are coming into style again. It’s one I can actually wear.
  • If anyone ever makes a statue of me, I hope it’s missing a body part. Those are the statues people remember….
  • Today I got a big urge to park my car and go run and jump onto a passing train. But then I decided that was stupid.
  • Just got home from running a million errands and realized my shirt was inside out. Awesome.
  • “Call those dots a dog. Those ones are a naked dude. And throw a centaur in there, too.” Whoever named constellations was high. Just sayin.
  • Mother in laws are like car engines. Eventually you’re going to need a professional to help you work on problems you never saw coming.
  • I wish somebody would make a painting of me, holding a giant jelly fish in one hand and a dripping grilled cheese sandwich in the other.
  • As it turns out, what we think is the end of our ropes is really the beginning of something awesome. Like Xanax.
  • There is but one bridge to my heart, ladies. And the toll to pass is a Cadbury Cream egg.
  • Let me tell you what I like about rugby… Hmmm… I got nothin’. Now let me tell you what I like about pancakes. This may take a while.
  • I just realized… Guns don’t kill people. Bullets do.
  • Judge me not for the 51 pairs of shoes in my closet. I have lived a good life in those shoes. And I can’t throw old shoes away.
  • Noah has just informed me that he will not kiss a girl until he’s 41.
  • I predict that with how popular iPads are, it’s only a matter of time before JNCOs make a come-back. Those pockets were made for iPads.
  • As it turns out, 99 peaches isn’t the healthiest of drinks. And here I thought I was getting some decent fruit in my diet.
  • Hugging yourself is like tickling yourself. It just doesn’t get the job done.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. I warned you it was all very random. How about you? Do you have any random commentary on any of my random commentary?

SHARE
Previous articleMe in a Lego Movie. Awesome.
Next articlePhoto of the Week: Grandpa’s Booming & Gentle Voice
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!