I have been trying to be a better Tweeter and Facebooker by doing more than self-promoting my blog and over-bloating my own importance in this world. Some of my updates I’ve knocked out of the park. Others were a serious swing and a miss. Here are the last couple months of randomness that the mind of Dan Pearce often is.
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The Random Mind of Dan Pearce
- New snow is so magical. Literally. It makes all the dog poop disappear. Just. Like. That.
- I’m a little embarrassed that I just bragged to a twelve year old about my amazing skills at putting away folding chairs.
- Canadians, I love you. But your chocolate is subpar. At best.
- You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours… Guaranteed no two Tyrannosaurus Rex ever said that to each other and then followed through.
- Apparently there are some things teeth weren’t made to bite through. Like forks. <shudder>
- I kind of miss the days before cell phones when friends would pull up and honk their car horns to get your attention.
- What’d you add to the sauce? Oh, fungus grown in chicken crap. Mmmmhmmm…. It’s time to admit mushrooms are what they are people.
- I just made a kick butt smoothie with mango, peach, and a dash of my “secret” ingredient… And by secret, I mean sugar. #DontTellMyTrainer
- I feel like hating moths but loving butterflies is a little shallow. I’m shallow.
- Elephant trunks are neat. All I can do with my nose is scrunch it up and flex my nostrils.
- I’m so glad that Ken Doll hairdos are coming into style again. It’s one I can actually wear.
- If anyone ever makes a statue of me, I hope it’s missing a body part. Those are the statues people remember….
- Today I got a big urge to park my car and go run and jump onto a passing train. But then I decided that was stupid.
- Just got home from running a million errands and realized my shirt was inside out. Awesome.
- “Call those dots a dog. Those ones are a naked dude. And throw a centaur in there, too.” Whoever named constellations was high. Just sayin.
- Mother in laws are like car engines. Eventually you’re going to need a professional to help you work on problems you never saw coming.
- I wish somebody would make a painting of me, holding a giant jelly fish in one hand and a dripping grilled cheese sandwich in the other.
- As it turns out, what we think is the end of our ropes is really the beginning of something awesome. Like Xanax.
- There is but one bridge to my heart, ladies. And the toll to pass is a Cadbury Cream egg.
- Let me tell you what I like about rugby… Hmmm… I got nothin’. Now let me tell you what I like about pancakes. This may take a while.
- I just realized… Guns don’t kill people. Bullets do.
- Judge me not for the 51 pairs of shoes in my closet. I have lived a good life in those shoes. And I can’t throw old shoes away.
- Noah has just informed me that he will not kiss a girl until he’s 41.
- I predict that with how popular iPads are, it’s only a matter of time before JNCOs make a come-back. Those pockets were made for iPads.
- As it turns out, 99 peaches isn’t the healthiest of drinks. And here I thought I was getting some decent fruit in my diet.
- Hugging yourself is like tickling yourself. It just doesn’t get the job done.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. I warned you it was all very random. How about you? Do you have any random commentary on any of my random commentary?