To my dad this Father’s Day. Love ya old man.
To Be the Perfect Dad
When I would get caught in a lie
His hand was often firm
When I would fail to do my chores
His voice was all too stern
When I would fuss and moan and groan
At the green things on my plate
He’d sigh and give me one hard look
That said ‘trouble now awaits’
When I’d steal from his jar of coins
He’d let me have it good
When I’d be late for suppertime
He’d throw away my food
When I would get in vicious brawls
With my siblings, any one
He’d knock our heads together once
To end our ugly fun
Yes, my nose was often on the wall
My bum was rosy red
I did more chores than I could count
His rules I’d often dread
And now some twenty five years later
I ponder back to then
And all the times we had together
The whos whats wheres and whens
Sure, I recall the harder things
The ones I used to hate
But I remember much more vividly
That he was my playmate
I remember we’d load up and go
To the lake just up the road
And a half an hour in or so
His fishing pole I would hold
Right away it’d give a tug
There was something now attached
I’d reel in a whopper fish
That feeling had no match
And he’d lament and howl and cry
How he had the worst of luck
Cause every time my pole he’d give
It was I who pulled one up
He never let on, not even once
That it all was one big ploy
To make me feel like king of the world
It gave him so much joy
And other times I’d start to hurt
From the laughter and the fun
As he’d grab me like a big ol’ bear
Ready to have his lunch
And when my legs would ache and cramp
Cause I was growing way too fast
He’d stay up late into the night
Rubbing them till it passed
Yes, he was strict and sometimes mean
I always knew my place
But he also was kind and soft and gentle
With a smile across his face
And in-between it all, it’s true,
He made me be a man
He taught me what life’s all about
He taught me where to stand
He taught me how to work real hard
But also how to play
He taught me how to make my own way
He taught me how to pray
And now that I have a five year old
Just like my old man used to have
I realize just how hard it is
To be the perfect dad
And so just like the man before me
I’ll just do my very best
And hope that what my son remembers
Is the good times, not the rest
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. What are the greatest lessons you learned from your dad growing up? What are some of your greatest memories of your dad this Father’s Day?
So sweet. Made me cry.
My dad taught me that “good enough” is often not good enough if it was in your capability to do things excellently. He wasn’t only my dad, but he was also my coach, and through his (well both my parents’) encouragement, I became both an honor student and an accomplished athlete.
His giving of his time to nurture me, no matter how busy he was, was very impactful. I try to do the same to my 3 kids now, and by God’s grace they’re all headed to easily surpass what I have done. It goes to show that while one’s presence is only of a limited time (he passed away 3 years ago), one’s influence can last generations afterwards.
Thinking about this recently, it makes me worry about the epidemic of fatherlessness in America today. In my pre-Father’s Day blog entry, I quoted someone saying, “America leads the industrialized world in fatherlessness. Forty percent of all children in America are born to single moms …While moms are great at giving unconditional love regardless of their child’s performance, dads motivate sons to try harder, not to give up, to work for success…”
I strongly believe that if we want America to continue to be the great country the world thinks it is, we have to reverse this tragedy. Here’s my entry btw:
http://www.lessonsofadad.com/2012/06/few-things-are-as-devestating-as-faulty.html
I want to be the Father that my daughter can always come to for anything. I want her to be open with me. We will see how that works out! What a great post!
So absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing. When I think of my dad, all I see is a giant smile. He is the most generous, loving man I've met and he taught me to admire and emulate his qualities of compassion, generosity and humour. I am so blessed with a father who never once raised a hand in anger, who made me feel loved and secure and safe and brought me up to believe I deserved nothing less in a husband. I am certain that it is because of him that I found and married the amazing man by my side. Last week, I paid this tribute to my mother:
http://wp.me/p2uEVw-2I
I can't wait to tribute my dad.
Happy Father's Day, Dan!
My dad never raised his hand in anger. We got spanked, sure, but I never once felt fearful of him. Never having to be afraid of your dad...that's something I treasure about him. I'm trying to live up to that standard, and frankly it's not always easy. But I always want to be a safe harbor for my daughter.
.
I wrote about it here:
.
http://raisedbymydaughter.blogspot.com/2012/06/on-holding-hands.html
godslove-myworld.blogspot.com/2011/06/letter-to-my-dad.html
Just read your it. Totally crying, missing my Dad this Father's Day and every one for the last 12 years. The best lesson I learned from my dad, that I now pass on to my 2 daughters and son is: "I'm always watching. Even when you don't think I'm watching, I'm watching. When you're doing great things, and when you're doing bad things, I'm watching. Keep that in mind....". I'll never forget the day he told me that (I was 13). It both terrified me and made me feel safe. I wonder if he's watching now.... :)
Just read your it. Totally crying, missing my Dad this Father's Day and every one for the last 12 years. The best lesson I learned from my dad, that I now pass on to my 2 daughters and son is: "I'm always watching. Even when you don't think I'm watching, I'm watching. When you're doing great things, and when you're doing bad things, I'm watching. Keep that in mind....". I'll never forget the day he told me that (I was 13). It both terrified me and made me feel safe. I wonder if he's watching now.... :)
Dan, that was a *beautiful* poem for your dad. I, too, hope you and Noah have a lifetime filled with fond memories for him as you do for your dad. Happy Father's Day, Dan!
My best memory of my Dad was the day he returned from Viet Nam. He had to come back two weeks earlier than he was scheduled because my Mom had been rushed to the hospital and my sister and I were staying with friends of the family.
He stepped out of the car by our school and my sister and I ran flying into his arms. The feeling of relief to be in his arms again was overwhelming. He was safe, we were safe... the world again felt secure. I felt in that moment all that he as my father meant to me in love, security, foundation.
I was 9..the same age my sons are now.