An Unlikely Friend

My unlikely friend is my ex husband's first wife. In the last eight years since he left me, she and I have become as close as sisters. It's wonderful!

I rent, often receiving Previous tenants mail. Usually I RTS for a few months then throw it out if it keeps coming. But at Christmas I open them and put the cards and pictures up (as it looks like I'm more popular). 5 years ago I got a sweet card and note from another country and felt sad that this one card had not reached the right person. So I wrote to let this lady know... And formed an amazing friendship with an English woman living in Spain. We have shared joys and heartaches, and with that pen pal distance it's often easier to be more honest with her than I usually dare... I think sometimes people just click. It's always some kind of miracle :)

My exhusband's wife and I are pretty inseperable....we have our moments, don't see 100% eye to eye, but I have more faith and trust in her than I do almost anyone else. She's been a Godsend. :)

As I've lived my life, most of my friends have been the 'unlikely' sort. My best friend from high school is an Irish Catholic Red-headed only child with divorced parents, and I am a half-Japanese Mormon, and the oldest of 8 children. I'm not sure you get any more different than that. As years have passed, I continue to experience seemingly chance encounters that develop into some of the most deep and rewarding friendships of my life. Each of these people stay in my immediate circle of influence for their time, then we eventually continue on our way, all the better for the association. I still keep in touch with all of them. Kate, from high school, who knows and understands the part of me that I protect the most fiercely, and who continues to love and support me regardless of distance or time apart. Art, the computer nerd & philosophy major who let me crash on his couch for more than a year. I stuck with him through a string of girlfriends until he found the woman he's married to now. Hannah and Paul are married best friends who took a small-town girl and showed her what it means to LIVE in a big city. Heather is the quiet support that loves and listens and who shares her beautiful children with Aunt Keely. Melissa, my sister's best friend from college, gets me and my family dynamic better than anyone not related to me. I shared my journey with all of them, and continue to do so from afar.  Now I have James, Andi, Jeremy, Kristin, Kember, Hailey... and the list goes on. These people are my dance family and current circle of friends.  Some of them will be life long friends and some of the friendships will fade with time. Each friend has and does touch my life. What I have realized is this; true friendship is not planned. It is stumbled upon, recognized as something beautiful, and nurtured with care.  True friends are the ones that we keep and make into the family we create for ourselves. 

Mine is now my best friend/older sister. We worked together, she worked the front desk and I was an x-ray tech. She was always brash. I went up to her desk for something, she said something smart and I told her to F*CK off. The whole office was quiet. We started to hang out and got close quick. 8 yrs later we been there through some really difficult times, my recent separation, she just had an ostomy put in. We spend alot of time together, just thankful to have her. She gives me perspective and helps me get through the day.

I've had a few unlikely friends, but the first, and the one that sticks out the most in my mind, is Jay.  

I had just started as a server in a bar/restaurant called the Gin Mill.  I was barely 21.  My first day of training, the phone rang and the bartender told my trainer to "Go get Jay, he's got a call."  

Holy....here comes this dude out of the kitchen to the bar phone.  He's maybe 5'6", if that, muscular like a body builder, and he is covered with tattoos and his hair is a mohawk that shows the tattoos on his skull.  My first thought was "What the hell did I get into here???"

He ended up being one of the best friends I had during that time.  It was never like a boy/girl relationship, although he was awesome when I had boy trouble.  I remember a few years later, when I was working in a sales office, I busted my boyfriend with another girl we worked with.  Next morning, Jay brought me to work on his motorcycle...me in my electric blue mini skirt.  (Hey.  It was the 80s.  What can I say?)

When my mom was going through chemo, she didn't want anything to eat but whatever she was craving at the time.  Jay was still at the restaurant, and he would make her whatever she wanted.  I remember one time it was shrimp cocktail, and he loaded that box up!  Mom, who was not a fan of mohawks or tattoos, thought he hung the moon.  

So did I.

It's funny this comes up now - he's been on my mind a lot.  I cannot for the life of me remember his last name after being gone from Albuquerque for over 20 years, and the restaurant is long closed, but I think of him often and hope he is happy wherever he is.  Who knows?  Maybe he'll see this.  I'll never forget him.

I do. I have a friend that could not be more opposite than i am. He's a hardcore athiest and I'm religious. We shouldn't get along by definition, but we do. Met him online years ago and now we are best friends 15 years running.

when you move alot you always meet interesting people and meet the most unikely friends but its well worth it! I have many friends in many different places that are friends that I wouldn't have normally chosen.

Mine is my boyfriend! He and I met on match.com and it has been the best $35.00 I have ever spent. I did not know that he would become my best friend and the love of my life. Awesome things do happen to awesome people! :D

One of my most unlikely friendships has lasted for over 20 years now.  Rob is an engineer.  He loves math, science, and is about a politically conservative as anyone I know.  He has a wife, kids, and I tease him for being "the straightest man in the world."

I am trained as a lawyer, love words and writing, and am a rabid political moderate.  I've been with my husband for 10 years, we have no kids, and I came out a long time ago.

We remain friends because, in spite of what may appear to be, we have so much to discuss.  We respect each other.  We don't yell or deride or try to humiliate the other for a point of view different than our own.  And I am so proud he is my friend.

My very best friend and I have absolutely nothing in common either, if you put it on paper. She was raised in an affluent family, had a pony, went to the best private schools, married a doctor, never held a job, very feminine, artistic, knows all about flowers, loves to shop, etc.... I grew up in a single-parent household, was (and still am) the tomboy of the family, put myself through school, worked since I was 13 and was always the breadwinner in my family, hate to shop, etc... Although we met because our daughters were in the same 2nd grade class, and rode horses at the same barn, they didn't get along - not at all. But, Tish and I were getting to know eachother, and liked eachother. She told me, "just because our kids aren't friends doesn't mean we can't be." That was nearly 15 years ago. Over that time, we found that we have some of the the deepest, most profound things about ourselves in common - just not the things other people would notice about us. We both love our children to death and raise them in nurturing ways, we love dogs, british mystery and comedy programs, we struggle to figure out our relationship with God, our relationships with men, our relationships with other women, we hug often, sleep at odd hours, and do our best to wade through modern technology. Discovering the commonalities has been an adventure and a joy. She is moving across the county soon, and I know we will remain the closest of friends in spite of the distance.

I guess mine would probably be my husband. He was the kid always wearing all black/trench coats/had long hair (he used to get followed around when we went out to stores for fear of him stealing based solely on his appearance. He'd never steal anything) who was into role playing games, comics, and wrestling. I was the girl who blended into the background, raised in a fairly religious home where role playing games and long hair(on a guy) weren't considered a good thing. We are incredibly different, enjoy different things but he helps me to see things from a different point of view and is an incredibly kind hearted person.

I met my unlikely friend in Junior Hi in 1953. We are still friends. He is my little brother and he is gay. what's funny is that my husband was jealous of him.

First you pull a Tim, then you make me cry with this post. Way to go, D.P, way to go. I agree though, probably THE most loyal friend i've ever had the privilege of knowing. He really is like a brother to me. I'm always sad when I have to say good-bye's, but rarely am I so sad to see anyone go as I am to see Dan and Jessica go:(.

Amen on McCain. One of the best people I've ever known.

I'm an 18-year-old boy and one of my closest friends is a 15-year-old girl who I met when we were both cast in a Shakespeare play two years ago. The following year I directed a show with the same theater group, she was cast in it, and during that process we became very close. 

I love her like my own sister, we're totally comfortable around each other, and I've helped her deal with some big personal issues, but three years' difference in age seems like a pretty big gap to most of our peers, so sometimes mutual acquaintances aren't quite sure how to react. I know my friend's 15-year-old classmates sometimes think it's a bit weird that she's friends with someone who's not only 3 years older than she is, but also *gasp* of the opposite gender! 

We can sometimes be alternately mistaken as siblings or dating, but neither of us really pay any heed to that, and we kind of embrace the unusualness of our friendship as beautiful, in its own way. It's the sort of thing that *wouldn't* be that unusual, I think, if more people our age would open themselves up to the possibility...

My unlikely friend is my dearest friend that I could not imagine life with out. We met when as a family we knocked on a door to welcome new neighbors that my husband went to school with. We knocked on the wrong door. We have been through ups and downs, births, moves, loss and most anything else life throws at us as people. We were destined to meet.

YES! I have an amazing friend that used to be one of my students in the Youth dept. Gang member, TOTAL tom boy, tattooed (yes, as young as 13), as rough as you can possibly be! And somehow God put us together (I'm as GIRLIE as they come) and now, years after she is out of high school, we are STILL friends and I love her to pieces! I call her my oldest daughter. :D She taught me that love can be WAY out of my comfort zone!

My unlikely friend was British, 20 years older than me (to the day!) and a PhD in Metallurgy. We met online in 1987, and IRL in 1996. After my husband, he's the closest friend I've ever had. We lost him on April 29th of this year, and I don't know how to fill the hole.

My best and close friend have manner and habbit that almost always different with me, but I wonder we are friends for 40 years and often traveling together........

Most of my friends are from the music department where I went to college.  But then I had Randy.  

Randy was a clarinet major. He's the kind of guy who loves everyone.  And tries to make everyone happy. Which is interesting sometimes because he also has no sense of time.  He's a sweetheart.  He's not my unlikely friend.

But Randy introduced me to a whole new set of people.  People I wouldn't have EVER crossed paths with.  You see, Randy was a 'gamer."  He played Dungeons and Dragons, Vampire, and a lot of other weird role playing games.But I was bored one night, and Randy asked me to come along.  I wanted to see what it was all about.   But I figured it'd be kind of dumb.

I had so much fun that night I did it again and again.  I drew the line at LARP, though.  But the two guys Randy introduced me to well, they were the most unlikely pair I'd ever be friends with.  

Keep in mind, I was a naive music education major, with a minor in child psychology.  And here I was, making friends with a man who is now a gunsmith (at the time he was a psychology major, but found that to be not-so-lucrative) and Bob.  Bob was an interesting soul.  He lived more in his undisclosed amount of years than most people I knew.  He was a paranoid schizophrenic.  He'd been homeless, abused, attacked at knifepoint by an ex-girlfriend, and was an insomniac.  From what I could tell, he lived on ramen noodles, diet coke, and tums.  And he and I would often talk late into the night after everyone had left.  We'd gotten into a pattern of him coming over on his way home from work - he worked overnights since he was an IT guy and really bad at interacting with most people.  I considered it a badge of honor to be considered his friend.  Especially since he hated all women at that point.  

Along the line, I ended up slighting him - turns out he had a crush on me that he never acted upon, and when I dated a mutual friend he felt betrayed, and angry, and said that I could do better.  We had a falling out, and it has taken many years to even get back to speaking terms.  But he was my most unlikely friend, and I hope that we're able to rebuild that again someday.

I don't think any of my friends are "unlikely" in that sense, but a few times friends of mine were very surprised to find out that not only did I know this other girl they know, but that the girl is also my sister. :-D (We tend to run in different, but overlapping, circles)

Cool post. I've always recognized that I too have unlikely friends but never really thought about it until this post. One of my friends (of 6 years) and I have never met. He lives in another country but we've been pen pals and Skype pals for years. Another friend and I accidentally met due to a mutual friend and he and I can't make it through a week without talking. So many unlikely friends!

I have a fabulous group of unlikely friends...almost all of them have had preemie babies, some have lost a child, some of their kids are special needs, several ladies have come from varying kinds of abusive relationships...I've been married almost 18 yrs, had super healthy full term (actually, late) children & in many ways a much more charmed life than they have, but they are some of my favorite people on the planet & I love them wholeheartedly!

Almost all of my friends are unlikely..... :)

A girl who shares the same name in the same company- we crossed e mails for years- now we trade ideas and advice. A customer who has very opposite views on manyany things- we bond over our differences. A girl 10 years younger - I was her advisor as part of a university alumni group. And a family who just moved in next door- 3 years ago I got kicked out of preschool (not my kids- me- crazy misunderstanding gone bad!). I remembered the kids names and that they had a summer nanny- uncalled total strangers and begged for help. We now travel together, live next door and share tears and laughter!

Same as yours, although he and I became fast friends:).  When I met Dan, he was drinking and I was not, but we had one of the best conversations!  Since then, he and I have had more great conversations than I can even count.  He is probably THE most loyal friend that my husband and I have, and his wife just takes care of everyone and is so good at it.  We have so many good memories with the two of them from a cruise, to going out to dinner together, to just watching a movie at home with them.  I love all of my friends but most of them seem to fade in and out as that's just sort of how life goes.  These two, however, are going to leave a big hole in our lives when they leave!  They have become the best of friends to my husband and I.  And yes, my eyes are tearing up as a write this.  We will miss you more than I could ever express through words, Dan and Jessica!

My husbands ex-wife is one of my nearest and dearest friends. We are like 2 peas in a pod and I love her to death!

I had an unusual friendship. One of the guys that was convicted of beating Matthew Shepard, his name is Russell Henderson. I knew his family before that all happened and I had met and was a little friendly with him. When I saw him on the front page of the paper, I was gob smacked, I had no idea. I wrote to him for a few years (I still need to do it now, it's been a while)  I figured if he was my friend before that happened he was still my friend afterwards. We never really did talk about that part of his life, just what it's like now etc.  One of the things that made it tough is my brother, he's gay. I wrote to Russell for a few years before I got the courage to tell my brother, boy was he pissed.  My brother has since passed away but he told me quite a few years into it that he admired me for befriending Russell and trying to be kind to him. 

3 yrs ago my ex husband had an affair, in some ways I am so glad he did because otherwise I would never have met Katie. Despite the situation, she has become one of my best and most faithful friends.

I have a fantastic friend.  We met in Introduction to Theology during my last semester of seminary; it was his second year of seminary.  At the seminary I attended, 3rd year students and 1st year students usually had very little interaction due to different class schedules and varying levels of jadedness with life, Christianity, and everything.  Most of our interactions occurred in class and ranged from class discussion to a few personal conversations since he began dating one of my close friends.  I felt this odd connection with him; neither one of us really fit in at the seminary.  Our academic interests had fascinating points of intersection; his being queer theology and mine being social justice issues in biblical interpretation.  I felt as though he challenged me to widen my perspective, to love a little more deeply, and to embrace life a little less gingerly.  Literally months after we began conversing on that friend-in-passing level, my husband and I moved 2700 miles away for me to begin my doctoral work.  For the first time in my life, a friendship has blossomed long distance.  We skype 2-4 times a month and talk about everything from the mundane to the incredibly deep and personal.  

I do. It all started with a wrong number calling me and we have become the best of friends! I dont know what I would do with out him! :)

One of my very best friends became so in an odd manner. Our ex (we had both dated him) killed himself and we bonded over the loss. We are very much alike and I just love her. I hate how we became friends, but you couldn't ask for a better one.

I have an unlikely friend. We're a bit at odds at teh moment but in 10 years, we've still kept in touch with each other. And we're complete opposites in how we approach life.

My 2nd year college, I wasn't able to choose my roommate (I switched colleges).  I met Marcia.  We would have never became friends if we hadn't been roommates.  She was super shy, but super hilarious and funny, oh and well adjusted on the inside.  I was outgoing, but hid behind a mask of insecurity.  We were perfect together.  She helped me get over my shit, and I helped her get over her shit, and her family pretty much adopted me.  I needed that, since I divorced my original family... haven't seen her for several years now, since we live so far apart, but as soon as we get together, all the old memories, and things we would say, games we would play come back every time.  Usually feels like only a short time has gone by;-)  Glove her so much!!!

I have a friendship that some folks do not get...but it works.  I am a 44 yr old mom of three boys.  I met Max at a friend's house where he was visiting their college-age daughter. Max is 22.  We struck up a conversation and came to the subject of mental health, and it turned out Max shares the same diagnosis as myself and my youngest son. Somehow, we recognized we could be supportive and caring friends to one another despite our age difference. Max lost his mom when he was 15; when he calls me for advice on his love life or work problems, my hope is I can be a source of comfort where there has not been one for a long time. And he makes me laugh, teaches me video game skills, and is good with my kids. An odd friendship to most...but just right for us. :)

I have an unlikely friend indeed. 25 years ago, we were both in high school. He was this larger than life punk rocker. I wore baggy pink sweaters, khaki pants and cordovan loafers. He was from the rough part of town, but was the "odd jobs boy" who bedded all the wealthy Desperate Housewives. I was a goody two shoes finding my naughty side as my parents had a nasty divorce. We would skip class together and sit on the steps and talk to each other about music, life, etc. we sought each other out to talk, but our disparate social groups prevented our public friendship. We were never romantically or physically involved. It was all in the mind. But I saw him pursuing a dark side of drugs and trouble that came with his punk rock life.

He was 2 years ahead of me, and we lost touch after he graduated. His younger brother came up to high school the next year, and he saved my life after my mom died. 

Nearly 2 years ago, I found out Casey had been in prison almost 20 years. I wrote to him and I never would have guessed that our friendship would rekindle. He remembered me as the girl who could match him wit for wit. I encourage him to be creative and rein in his anger. He encourages me to be courageous and not let other people get me down. We love each other as the best of friends. I can't imagine my life without him.

Unlikely friends make the best friends! I have several "unlikely" friends that I now couldn't live with out their love and support!

Yes. My unlikely friend lives across the country from me. We live totally different lives but after a connection on an American Idol chat board we became great friends and long long story short she ended up being a surrogate mother to my twin girls born almost 5 years ago.

I do and they are my Favourites :)