Seven Years to Gain the Weight, Seven Days to Lose It

Last year, my fiance and I took a break, and I started dating a new guy, who was horrible. I was fit and cute when I was with my fiance, and yet in the new guy's eye's I was huge! I wore a size eight when I met the guy, and he made me feel like I was a 22 and sometimes bigger. He would poke at me (mainly my behind) and say how much sexier I would be if I just lost all of my baby fat. When I found out I had gained ten pounds, he made me feel so terrible about it, even though he had gained twenty. By the end of the year I had gained thirty more pounds, and we broke up. I gained ten more pounds in the aftermath of the breakup. Since I started losing the weight, I have lost fifteen pounds. I have just been trying to eat healthier, and it has been hard. My friend's boyfriend buys me chocolate, and it's my weakness.  

I SO hear you on this! I've recently put on 8 lbs that I lost just a few months ago. I'm having SUCH a hard time keeping away from every food I like, and it's impossible to just eat like a rabbit while feeding the rest of my family. I want to get healthier and still enjoy meals with my kids and husband. I do have to say I'm proud of myself for eating a SALAD at a Dodger game recently, although I'd had such a stressful day I allowed myself a margarita instead of a beer. Maybe not the best choice, but far better than the last time I went to the ballpark! Moderation, not starvation, is the key for me. Good luck, Dan!

It took me 28 years to put on 100 lbs, and 5 years to lose 65 of them.  THis past year, with my daughter so sick, I've backslidden (to use one of the good Baptist words of my youth!) about 20 lbs.  My blood sugar is going up also, so I'm making a commitment to get moving again.  For me it's  not the weight, or how I look, it's about Babygirl and living long enough to keep her health insurance; and living lng enough to see her grow up.  It's about being healthy enough to play with her, and to ski with her - to live with her.  It seems screwy, but I couldn't find motivation for just myself.  This works.

DeeDee

www.Kidneedsakidney.blogspot.com

I learned this lesson, or I should say ACCEPTED this 9 and a half months ago when I quit smoking after 20 years.  I expected to suddenly feel better, I didn't, honestly I felt worse.  I definitely expected to feel better sooner than I did, but honesty you can't undo 20 years worth of damage in just a few months.  As of today, I am Nine months, two weeks, three days, 7 minutes and 19 seconds (smoke free). 5820 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,455.02. Life saved: 2 weeks, 6 days, 5 hours, 0 minutes.

I'm re-learning and re-accepting it now as I try to loose the 30+ pounds I gained through my stop smoking.  I made the choice to eat what I wanted while I quit smoking, stopping smoking was more important.  Now I'm healthier and better able to loose the weight and yes it is slow going but every day I feel better.

yep - I go up and down 10 lbs and beat myself up about it ... and then I give myself a reality check

yep - I go up and down 10 lbs and beat myself up about it ... and then I give myself a reality check

Sounds like you just have a bad trainer.  I've had two myself and both were adamant about increasing my routine slowly.  I started working out 3 sections of my body, each once a week.  Maybe 30 minutes, with 20 to 30 minutes of Cardio.  After a couple weeks, I went from a 7 day cycle to a 6 day cycle.  After a month, now I work out 4 days a week instead of 5 and it's intense, but I ALWAYS take a day or two off.  And I mean OFF.  No weights, no cardio.  Just let your body recover. I do also mix in a "Cheat Day" every other week.  Keeps me sane.

Nothing wrong with that.  And guess what?  The more lean muscle you add, the more calories you burn (50 extra cals per lb of muscle).  Building lean muscle is the only way to keep weight off long term.  And the more muscle you add, the less a cheat day will hurt you.

I've lost 45 lbs myself using these tips, (Along with a more whole-foods oriented diet eliminating processed carbs).  Good luck on your own journey!

I actually switched fitness trainers because of this mentality (and, in fact, if they hadn't hired someone new who was able to take me on, I was on the verge of leaving the gym altogether!). My former trainer... well, it was his life. That much was obvious. His whole life revolved around health and fitness and all that stuff. And he couldn't seem to deal with the idea that mine didn't, and that I didn't want it to. I wanted to be fitter, yes. I wanted to loose a bit of weight from my stomach and thighs if possible, yes. But I also wanted to feel like I could enjoy life. And every week he'd grill me about my eating, and it was almost as if he thought, "Oh, crap, there's still some pleasure left in her diet! We'd better get rid of that!" The final straw for me was when I told him that I had a bowl of muesli for breakfast and he told me that that was bad and I should have something like oats, but that if I really had to I could sprinkle a tiny bit of muesli on top. If I really couldn't cope with it any other way.

I decided that what I couldn't cope with was the trainer's attitude. Thankfully, my new trainer recognises exactly what you're saying: if you don't find a middle ground you can live with, you may see quick results but then you'll fall off the bandwagon and go and pig out on all the things you've been denying yourself. And then you're back to square one. Or round one, as the case may be. :-/ And since I've had the new trainer I've managed to go a notch tighter on my belt, which is encouraging. :D

@thtrelady http://t.co/Oqnw4e9A

Over the past few months, I've been realizing the same thing -- that this is a process, and that a quick fix is going to get me only a short result.  I gained a bunch of weight during my first pregnancy, but took that weight off easily afterwards.  With my second, I expected the same thing to happen . . . I waited, and waited, and waited for the weight to start coming off.  Still waiting.  (He'll be 2 in September.  I've decided it's time to stop waiting.)

But, not only do I want to do this in a moderate way that I can actually live with, but I want to do it in a way that is about truly making healthy choices.  Not making perfect, food-is-fuel, aerobics teacher choices, but making truly healthy, sustainable choices FOR ME.  (I'm with you -- sometimes dessert is going to get eaten.  That's as much a part of my desire for my life as taking off the extra weight.  I want to allow for both, and I think I can, if I'm patient.)  It's so important, because I've got this weight to lose, but my kids are watching me, too.  And the choices I make now are going to shape their ideas about food, weight, exercise, health and being kind to ourselves.  That is so big.  I don't want them to get the idea that they should starve themselves, exercise to illness or punish themselves for being less than perfect.  I don't want them growing up in a house where "dessert" or "cookie" is a bad word.

Man, this is a tough journey.  It was so much eaiser when I was 25 and could just be extreme about it.  Now I really want to get it right, or at least set a good example.  But I know that means it'll take a while.

Sorry for the ramble!

Keep up the good work!

Proud of you Dan!  Best thing you can do is listen to yourself when you are making any kind of change.  You know yourself mind, body, and soul better than anyone on this earth!  Way to be honest with yourself and do what is right for you and your health!  It is the journey and life happens whether we decided to eat cake or cucumbers for lunch.  Hang in there and don't try to be He-Man, just be yourself!  Hugs!

I managed to pack on 40 pounds in a year. It was my first year of veterinary school. I went from being decently active (Martial arts for 2 hours twice a week, walking everywhere on campus to get to class or just for a study break/change of scenery) to completely sedentary. I felt like nothing I did would raise my grades and I was on the edge of failing out. And thanks to that stress, I started doing what I always do when I'm stressed out. I pounded down a whole box of cookies in one night. I ate mostly things that would only require me to heat them up in the microwave or oven so I could use that 30 minutes to an hour preparing a meal to study. I went to get established with a doctor in my college town so I wouldn't have to go to urgent care if I got sick. My family has a history of heart disease, and my dad is now considered diabetic by the new guidelines (He'd been borderline before, and his bloodwork/diet/etc didn't change or even improved). So I was told I needed to lose weight. I started counting calories. It made me aware of what I was putting into my body. It kept me from binging on cookies to really asking myself if I needed the calories. My boyfriend moved in with me, and we both started cooking more of our own meals. Making your own desserts, while not as healthy as eating a banana or something like that, is a LOT fewer calories than store bought desserts. I recently started belly dancing again. Schedules at the vet school are pretty bizarre and make it hard to work out, but I've been trying to make time for it. But I've lost almost 35 of the forty pounds I packed on just by being aware of how much I'm really eating and not eating because I'm stressed. Instead I'm trying to actually give my body fuel rather than junk.

Good for you, sweetie! 

My hubs and I made the choice to make healthier food choices a couple years ago. We started by juts picking put lighter calorie choices, and we started losing weight. Then he got the word form his doc that high blood pressure was getting pretty danged high, and he needed to make some changes, or end up on meds for pretty much the rest of his life. We found out quick that if you want to avoid sodium, you pretty much have to make a whole lot of stuff from scratch.

And once you get label smart, you really start to wonder why the heck anyone would choose to eat processed, packaged, preserved foods for every meal of the day, every day.We eat steak, hamburgers, chicken, lots of fresh veggies, eggs, milk, cheese... we're not suffering by any means. And yes, we can have dessert sometimes. 

My "exercise" plan was just doing more of what I normally enjoyed doing anyway, popping in the earbuds and moshing out around the house while doing laundry, or going for long photo safari hikes on my property with my camera. 

We've only just added a 30 minute jogging/walking session, twice or three times a week to our lives the last 3 months. 

We've both lost 4 pant sizes, combined we're down over 170 lbs, maybe more, because I'm not sure how big I was actually up to when we started.

Has it taken a long time to get to where we are at now from when we started? Heck, yeah! But since it's a mindset change and not a diet, there is no crashing and little chance of going back into those bad habits.

Start small, master that, and then add another small change. Small changes are easier to stick to, and add up to big things over time. :)

Much love! <3 Wrennie

Fat loss is easy, building muscle is hard. The time it takes you to get fit is the time it takes you to build up your muscles. I have seen over weight people with lots of underlying muscle lose 50 pounds in 3 months and get super fit, however they had a base and probably previous experience to start with. If you want to get lean and strong with out killing yourself try Googling Marks Daily Apple (food) and Lean Gains (exercise).

I joined Weight Watchers 3 years ago and it took me a little over 2 years to take off 63 lbs. During the journey, I kept reminding myself that I didn't put the weight on overnight and I certainly wasn't going to remove it overnight either. Also, in my experience, it's not a good idea to deprive yourself of little treats that you want occasionally. You already know that it's about moderation. Keep doing what you're doing and good for you.

Exactly. Eating right and exercising is a life-style change, meaning you should find something you can do for life! Depriving yourself of desserts does make it worse because you'll end up bingeing and falling right off your diet. I'm surprised your trainer doesn't agree. 

Perfect post for me right now. Thanks for the reminder.

My trainer is the same way - one of his first questions to me was "how much weight do you want to lose?" - And I told him that I was slightly offended by the question. Why? Because this gym is a cross-fit-type facility, focused on strength training. I guarantee that they don't ask the male clients that (and he admitted as much). When I told him "I dunno. I'm not doing this to be skinny, I'm doing this to be strong." I confused him. I told him that I'm pretty sure that unless I radically changed my eating (I eat pretty cleanly to begin with) there was no way my body would lose 15lbs. I know what my set-point is. And now, after 8 months of training, I have lost exactly no weight, but I've lost many inches and am remarkably stronger. Yeah, sure, I could cut out all yummy foodstuffs - but to me, that's just going to make it harder. I work out so I can eat the yummy stuffs....

I have been up and down the scale so many times in my adult life. About 3 years ago my physician asked me "Do you eat to live or live to eat?". That question changed the way I looked at food and how and why I ate. I started to ask myself questions before I ate any foods. "What nutrients will this provide me? What will it do for my body?" It took some time, but It helped me isolate my eating habits. As I saw them, I changed them. As I ate healthier, I had more energy. The more energy I had, the easier it was to get more exercise. The more exercise I got, the better I slept. Now I feel great! I can participate in the activities I used to watch and wish I was doing. So, do you live to eat or eat to live?

Hey Dan - just to let you know, hitting "continued on next page" brings up a 404. But otherwise, best of luck to you in your health pursuit. Sounds like you've reached a better understanding of what you actually want.

that trainer seems like he needs to go back to the classroom--crash diet or exercise never lasts and having dessert has part of a healthy lifestyle doesn't make anyone fat--its having the dessert after 2 big macs with large fries and being stationary all day that makes most people fat.

Hey Dan,

I started reading you a couple months ago-- and I have to say, I am SO thrilled to see you come to this conclusion publicly.  So many people don't realized that when I say the word "diet" I don't mean the newest fad-- I mean what I eat everyday, and will eat for the rest of my life.  The lifestyle that I choose today is what lead me to lose over 70, yes, that's right, 70 pounds!  I did all this with hardly any dedicated exercise time-- but you'd be amazed how much more I'm just naturally doing things that are exercise now that I'm not hauling all that extra weight around.  [I went backpacking 18 miles this weekend, on a whim, something I never would have even been able to do two years ago].  I honestly believe there is something that my close "foodie" friends and I have coined "Food [or Health] Enlightenment".  The day you realize that the results you want are not going to be right away, and are only going to last as long as you maintain-- so you have to find something you can maintain-- and the best resource we have is our ability to learn.

I encourage people to learn about food, to track what they eat [not in a counting calories kind of way, but more in a what's natural, what's not kind of way, and really evaluate how they feel as it nourishes their body].  Things that they know are bad, to eliminate them completely, one at a time, for a month or two, and then to reintroduce them to see how they feel.  It's amazing how after giving up dairy and then accidentally eating it again what I realized [my acid reflex was gone without the dairy, as well as my eczema, and all allergies that caused extra mucus in my throat].  Then, I gave up soda pop-- and tried it again, and it was so sweet I haven't drank it again.  After eliminating caffeine-- I realized that I wake up much better without it, and don't have an afternoon slump.  Artificial sugars and colors were eliminated and my regular migraines were immediately gone with the exception of a minor headache when I'm dehydrated.  I gave up gluten [I have celiac disease-- but honestly I'd recommend this to SO many people because of the health benefits of it], and my asthma is gone.

I'm never sick anymore-- ever.  I feel AMAZING-- and I feel like I can work out--even though I don't regularly.  Now, I'm a vegan [this is something I actually wouldn't suggest for most people]-- and honestly feel better then ever.  I really think that people should be looking more closely at what we eat-- because food works just like medication.  I no longer have to take any acid reducers, no allergy pills, no expensive inhalers, no steroid cream for my eczema, no more pain relievers for the headaches, and so many more small things that just honestly add up.

I have so much more than I wish I could add to this-- but out of an attempt to not completely bore the heck out of anyone-- I'll keep it at this.

Good luck on your journey-- it's so, so worth it in the long run.

Krystina

ps- normally I would suggest to find a personal trainer with a more realistic view-- but in this case, I'm not going to suggest that because I hope that you can show them by your example why your realistic goals will be not just attainable, but successful.

My weight has been up and down for the past 10 years. I know how to eat healthy, but sticking with it long term has been my challenge. I decided this time to aim for health and fitness rather than "skinny," as another commenter said. A friend invited me to train for a 5K with her. Neither of us are competitive, and neither of us were runners before we started training. We were looking for motivation. I'm 9 weeks into the training program, and today I ran 30 minutes straight for the first time. Think about that: 9 weeks to 30 minutes of running. It didn't happen the first day, and it didn't happen the first week. It took 9 weeks. Through this process, I have learned that I am persistent and determined. My 11-year-old son says he's proud of me. I'm pretty proud of me, too. And I've lost 15 pounds.

Dang. This was awesome. Exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. 

Did you have a contract with the trainer, or was he the only one available?  Because if it took that much to convince him to do things the right way (and plenty of research shows it IS the right way), I'm not sure I'd have wanted to continue working with him.  

The thing with healthy habits is that it's not about what you do once in a while, it's about what you do most of the time.  So, if you eat healthy most of the time and then have the occasional desert, that's ok.  If you exercise most of the time, but miss one here and there, that's ok.  The hard part is keeping it to once in a while.  I know that for me, every exception makes it that much harder to not make the next exception, which often leads me right back out of those habits I'm trying to form.

check out SparkPeople.com , if you haven't already. They offer free on-line support to help you build a healthy lifestyle (and, for most people that includes loosing weight). I lost 40 lbs with their help and have kept it off for about 1 year now without struggle or feeling like I was dieting.

It has taken 15 years to lose and keep off 60 lbs... I am still working on it... have about 45 more pounds to go... Lessons learned. 1. its ok to slip up, 2. You are a good person, 3. No beating myself up, 4. compromise compromise compromise if I want icecream, its salad with a protein, 5. portion control is bigger and harder to implement than you would ever have thought, 6. one step, one moment, one breath - rinse and repeat as necessary to feel good about yourself

Dan - THANK YOU

I have been seriously dedicated to being healthier for 3 years now - 63 pounds have come off and stayed off and I consider myself half way through - the pounds creep on...the pounds creep off...

I kinda want to smack your trainer right now. He should have told you right from the start that four months wasn't enough time, and losing weight that quickly is ridiculously unhealthy. I'm really happy that you came to this conclusion on your own. Enjoy your dessert!

Thank you for sharing! I went through a similar realization after the birth of my son and blogged about the lifestyle change that was required for healthily living. You can do it!

@danoah It took me 9 months to gain 50 pounds w/pregnancy. 2.5 years later, I am now 50 pounds lighter. It takes a long time. #Moderation

totally agree.  I know soooo many people that tell me that I 'must' eat different things to be healthy and lose weight (note: I'm not big, a strong ex-gymnast at 132 lbs, at 5' 3").  I'm sorry, but my 1 double stuff oreo a day is vital to my mental health because I love them... and I really do not like salads, at all, ever.  I eat my veggies like a good girl, but I cannot imagine enjoying them.  Physical activity must give you some joy, or you won't do it.  Losing my 40 pounds did happen in 4 months, but it came off responsibly and I wasn't miserable during the process.  Glad you found your method for weight loss.  Enjoy!

Oh so true! You can't "diet" your whole life. You have to watch what you eat and fall off the wagon and truly enjoy it once in awhile. It took me 10 years to put on the past 50 lbs I'm trying to lose. However, I am only 20 lbs away from my goal weight and it's already been almost a year to do that much. Slow and steady instead of quick results is the way to go!

So, again, Livefyre doesn't agree with me posting... So, here we be for my comment: "I think I needed this. It took me 5 years and 3 kids to put on the weight on, I don't have to lose it in a month. So, my husband and I decided something. We are going to focus on healthy eating and a workout schedule we can both do. I threw out my scale, I can't allow myself to make it about the pounds lost. I have to focus on setting a healthy example for my kids. I am having a hard time with it, and it actually helps to know that others are struggling with the same things. You can do it, Dan!"

i struggle to diet and exercise. dieting is hard cuz im a cajun woman! i like food! i LOVE food! not eating what i love is extremely difficult in a cajun household where most of our food is deep fried! exercise... who has the time?! i don't! im a mom of two and 5 and 3! i feel like I'll never get in shape!

It took me a good four or 5 months to take of 30 pounds.  I sure do feel better now though.  I was a bit extreme at first.  I cut out all sugar and cut down my portion sizes a lot.  I dropped 15 pounds the first month.  After that, I still cut out all the sugar but I reintroduced more carbs and had the occasional sweet treat.  The weight came off a little slower after that, but I have been able to keep it off thus far and I am still working on losing an extra ten pounds if I can manage it, BUT if I don't drop the ten I know that I feel good, and I look good.

The best thing to do is figure out a workout schedule that works for you.  Plus, change your eating habits and everything will fall in to place.  Remember being healthy comes first. Some people are just not meant to be skinny like some. But that doesn't mean you cannot take care of yourself!

The faster you lose weight the less likely you are to keep it off.

the only way to stick with workouts is if you enjoy them, even a little ;)  and diets suck, so adjusting your eating to make it change forever is much more reasonable.  An occasional dessert and a much needed glass of wine are necessary!!!  My favorite workout is TurboFire because it is high energy and fun... like dancing but structured!  What workouts do you enjoy?